Therock5555:




Well the full copy go be just #500 so I guess it's what the wait na..


atleast you're still reading atleast 40% of the updates na, hahahaha.

no yawa, just say make ah hollar you about it, so more Muller show should for aza

still no man you be

do4luv14:



no yawa, just say make ah hollar you about it, so more Muller show should for aza

still no man you be

I see you man
...

~~~SEVENTY~FIVE~~~


I got home and walked into the house.


Collins was in his room, I heard him talking to another male.

I was too tired to care, I just walked into my room and fell on the bed.


Collins entered almost immediately...



"Guy I don dey call you since, why you no pick my calls?"


Come to think of it, the only time Collins calls me na when him wan task me and then if na when we meet, him dey always come jovially to whine me.

But the Collins I heard wasn't sounding pleased at all.
Something was definitely wrong. No wonder my heart have stopped pounding yet.
I quickly turned and faced Collins.



"Guy what's up?" I said.


"Becky Papa don die...." He said.



"What the fuvk!!!!!!!"

Remember Becky, Collins babe wey we form Uncles go see her folks who were blind.

Na her papa die......


I weak like wetin as Collins narrated how the man had a slight health issue, them go find bike for am, but baba passed away before help could arrive.


He was nevertheless taken to the hospital where he was confirmed dead.

It was a sad evening for us all.



Collins and Sabo had been trying to comfort Becky in the hospital.

That was where he was calling me from.

That reminded me, I don't wanna sound heartless but how was that my problem? Why would I wanna come to the hospital because your girlfriend's dad died? Somebody I met just once.



But the way Collins was sounding, he clearly wanted me to share his burden with him.

Yes! As a friend I fit carry 10% but he wanted us to start planning for her dad's burial immediately.



Like what the fuvk mehn!!!!

"Guy why you dey try discuss burial plans with me?" I asked when Collins brought up the issue on how we could plan and contribute for the burial.




"Like why?"

This is utter bullshit, if Becky was his wife, I for don consider, but for a girlfriend, that mess is your mess, don't try to rope me in.




"Guy, I'm sorry about your girlfriend's loss. But please my head dey hot right now, I've received lots of bad news already. Please can we talk tomorrow?"



I asked calmly as he stood up and went back to his room.


I passed out almost immediately.


When I woke up, Collins was out of the house already.

I rolled around for some time before calling Ruth to inform her, she already heard the news before me cause Becky had called her first.


I was still alittle mad about the previous night so when she arrived I immediately threw down the gauntlet.



"Why did you pick my call last night?"


"Is that important, I thought we were gonna talk about Becky's dad?" She asked innocently.



"Babe, don't joke with me, just answer my question."



"Okay, yes I did and I'm sorry but I had a good reason. That your girl kept calling over and over and over again, she no allow me watch the movie, I had to pick and tell that you weren't around, she instead started insulting me, so I responded back. How is that my fault? Na me say make she dey call person like pyscho?"




"Ehnn, e don do. No reason am, your words really hurt her. I don't know what you said to her but she was crying when we spoke."




"She never see anything." Ruth whispered.




"Okay babe, well you revenged by not charging my phone, so I guess we're equal now. Can you let that go?"





"Yes, you're the boss." She mused and started laughing.


"So when are we going to Becky's house?" I asked.


"Yes, well I wan go cook enough rice make we carry go give them, I'll be through within two hours, if you'll wait for me."



"Why not, but first make I kiss this your sweet lips small." I dragged her playfully.

"Make your dick no rise oh." She whispered as we locked lips.



Then the back gate flung open.


Collins was screaming my name like a mad dog as he entered the house.

I didn't say a word till he got inside thinking he would just pass to his room atleast but then my door curtain flung open as Collins walked in, his eyes spitting red like a dragon.


I was cuddling Ruth when he dashed in without knocking.


"Guy you dey mad abi?" Collins asked me.

I quickly pushed Ruth aside and stood up to face him.

Ride on boss

Uduak, u too much

Wahala for you

~~~SEVENTY~SIX~~~
Finding a place to lay my head permanently proved to be even more harder than I envisioned. Cause there was a shitload of roadblocks and challenges.


Na that moment I realized say I don fuvk up already in so many ways.

Firstly, I would have completely raided my room of all it's belongings when I was leaving my parent's house cause popsy gave up almost every stuff in my room when they discovered that I've truly left home cause there wasn't any need for them, no be say any child safe for my kid sis still dey with them.


That was because I had everything I needed in Collins house so carrying just ny clothes and few things was a No brainer.

How wish we had powers to see the future, even my mattress I for carry am for head.

But then my second Name na Never give up, I dey always think of ways to get out of trouble anyway I could.


So the issue come be say, how do I get a house before that week was over, buy some things I'll need and move out. My brain don full.


See Shi-shi I no get for hand that moment. Blessing had rendered me almost penniless and I wasn't expecting to move anytime soon, I was so tormented to the point that the air conditioning in the room was making me sweat.


Something told me that I could easily find another place to patch up with someone while trying to earn enough to get my own house.



Well, na there wahala tie wrapper, it's one thing asking someone to accomodate you for a few days, and it's another thing getting someone to allow you become thier roommate.

If I was in their shoes, I would also say NO to that request.


Naso I quickly exhausted my list of people who could take me in even if na just one month.

Everybody get better excuse which I couldn't blame them.

My hope was almost dwindling, I don dey reason how to go settle with Collins, highest na to keep pride aside, reason with am man to man, even me sef know say na the spur of the moment Nai make am para for me and Ruth.


But my juju for head no be here, if I don open mouth spit something, my probability of taking it back is almost zero because I don't just go around spitting rubbish anyhow, you have to push me to a reclusive position to make me open my mouth.



So I repromised myself, even if it means crashing for bush, I'll gladly do it than return back to staying with Collins.


Because make we reason am nah, if the dude fit open mouth yarn me that rubbish just because him babe father die, then he could surely do worse for something lesser.






TO BE CONTINUED

Make una manage this half update, everywhere just choke For me.
But Hopefully by this time next Week, we should be rounding up.


Stay safe....

Therock5555:
Make una manage this half update, everywhere just choke For me.

But Hopefully by this time next Week, we should be rounding up.



Stay safe....

And make it a full update otherwise we gats open case for you ooo

Guy e be like say you dey omit some important parts in your story. There seem to be some gaps. Like between 74 and 75, I feel there's something missing. What led to Ruth picking your call? And this new one too? What happened after Collins barged in the room?

metalgear11:
Guy e be like say you dey omit some important parts in your story. There seem to be some gaps. Like between 74 and 75, I feel there's something missing. What led to Ruth picking your call? And this new one too? What happened after Collins barged in the room?

Yes your observations are correct....



abi you no been see my announcement, I'm completing the story into a book so na like 40% of each chapter Nai I dey drop.


I'll be through by next week...


so make una dey manage the small portions biko....


Gracias...

~~~SEVENTY~SEVEN~~~
Sabo silently listened to what transpired between Collins and I.

That was when I heard the full story about what happened that day Collins confronted me.

But first of all, we went house hunting.


Now getting a new house can be very tricky, you have to consider costs, environment and proximity to basic amenities.

I made a sound warning to Sabo that I didn't want a house where Tenants go choke, abeg make everybody dey their day.



E shock me say, even the house wey we dey avoid, I mean the one wey tenants fit choke, that one sef no dey.

No be say I get shi shi for pocket but I was looking at a price range wey I go fit hustle up cash quickly.



Mehn, we even went to levels of looking for lowest of the less, since all the houses we kept finding was blowing us out of the water.


I was almost giving up but Sabo wouldn't stop trying, even when I dey beg am to rest, him go just dey encourage me say make we try one more house.


Without that dude, maybe I for just take the ultimate decision to run back to my folks, shebi prodigal son do am, so wetin I wan dey feel like?


As we dey come back after one day of fruitless search, my mind went back to wetin Sabo yarn me about Collins.


I just burst laugh begin shake my head, it was not funny but I found it amusing though.

Na man you really be.

Ride on Boss

~~~SEVENTY~EIGHT~~~

I was walking a friend of mine to his house the next day cause I needed some stuffs from him.

I casually asked him if there was free acomondation in his area, he was shocked that I asked cause a friend of his just packed out earlier that week.


Why I no ask this guy since sef? Sometimes na things wey we dey ignore Nai be the goldmine.


That reminded me of a time I was traveling to Akwa Ibom, I was in a park in Makurdi when one senior brother rushed into the park, he was dressed well but he was sweating anyhow.

Just two more seats remain to be filled before we move. But then the brother wasn't entering because he didn't have any cash on him.

You might be wondering how somebody wanted to travel to Akwa Ibom from Makurdi without any cash on him.

Well, na same place me and the guy dey go, and na emergency messages we receive so if I hadn't cash, I no for go.

The guy was trying to explain that his old man was running around hustling for cash to send for his transport.

And na only one vehicle dey ply that route a day, and see matter wey him wan attend na the next morning, so he took that risk to come and beg if someone could borrow him, so that he'll refund the person when he receives alert.




Seriously I don't blame anybody actions that day. I mean, no be Naija we dey again, everybody form like say them no hear.


The guy was going from one person to another, pleading and almost crying.


Guess what? He never acknowledged me, he asked the two people sitting besides me, maybe I was invisible to him or he didn't deem me worthy of having money. Maybe him reason say I dey with my parent for motor.



One more person joined, space come remain one, I could feel the guy dying from inside.

He was looking from up to down, wondering how a miracle could just happen.


Then it occurred to me. Being the odd one doesn't matter, Heck, I've always been the odd one out, so why should that hinder me from helping others.


I told the woman next to me to keep an eye on my bag as I wiggled out of the Hummer Bus and touched the guy from behind.


"Let's go and pay for your ticket."


He was following me like a robot, na till I comot money give am make him collect ticket Nai the guy start to shake.

Guess what!!!

I was feeling pretty stupid as we walked back to the bus.

Like, what if this guy no come receive alert? So my money don enter voice mail, Choi...


Na as we siddon for inside bus Nai this guy begin thank me, shame wan finish me.

Throughout the journey, he didn't seize an opportunity to re-thank me, I had to plug in my buds make him free me small.

I'll hang this gist here since it doesn't relate to the main story but what I'm trying to say is that not looking down on everyone could actually be a good thing you know.....





I was so excited to check out the house even though I barely had any cash on me.


Unfortunately, the apartment we went hoped for just been paid for that morning, my hopes crashed again.



To be continued...

Carterj007 I see you my niqqa.

Hope ya good?

do4luv14:



And make it a full update otherwise we gats open case for you ooo

No vex Sir.. you'll soon get to read the full copy...

Alittle patience...

~~~SEVENTY~NINE~~~

Any time wey Collins and I jam, naso him go just turn jokerman for me.

I knew he wasn't sorry that I was leaving soon, he was more concerned on letting his benefits bringer go.



He visited me at work and was bringing suggestions on how I could wait till the corps members in the house pack out then I could migrate to their rooms if I don't want to stay in the same apartment with him.



"What difference does it makes? I'll still be seeing you everyday." I questioned him.


"I thought we are brothers from different mothers, it doesn't matter nah." He argued.


"Well it matters to me, man. I need to be on my own, no be you make me leave my parents house so why do you think you can influence my decision? Was I gonna stay with you forever?

Bros, nothing would change between us, you're still my man. No reason am." I replied, pat his shoulder and went back to my duties.


I don't know if na my eyes but Collins was already looking skinny. I guess Becky wasn't back yet since her dad's burial, I hear say her uncle come pack all of them go Abuja for awhile.


I come dey wonder where that uncle dey when his brother was still alive and suffering under dire conditions, na only to come pack family him Sabi...





As Collins was leaving, Philip was arriving, nawao, be like this boys plan me.



I know say na tasking carry Collins come find me and na same thing carry Philip come too.

Him think say as I don get steady job, I go dey spend money recklessly.

Naso him begin tell me all him problems, I was shaking my head and laughing in my mind.


"Guy me na mattress be my problem, I no fit give you anything because I dey gather money to buy bed." I replied him after his countless money required lambas....



"Ahhh, Ahhh, Nai you no tell me? Guy bed no be problem, I get bed for house and another bigger bed for my room for family house wey nobody dey use, na to give you my own then go my family house go carry that one cause it's very big. How you see am?"



My eyes were already glittering like a trailer's headlight.
"Are you for real? You'll dash me your bed?" I asked.


"Ahh Ahh, why you dey shout, you na my guy nah. I can't repay you for what you've done for me. When you dey move so that I fit help you bring the bed?" He asked.




"If possible, tomorrow. We fit go check the place later in the evening." I said and gladly gave him 1k make him use hold body, my niqqa was smiling happily like he just hit the jackpot.

Therock5555:
~~~SEVENTY~NINE~~~

Any time wey Collins and I jam, naso him go just turn jokerman for me.

I knew he wasn't sorry that I was leaving soon, he was more concerned on letting his benefits bringer go.



He visited me at work and was bringing suggestions on how I could wait till the corps members in the house pack out then I could migrate to their rooms if I don't want to stay in the same apartment with him.



"What difference does it makes? I'll still be seeing you everyday." I questioned him.


"I thought we are brothers from different mothers, it doesn't matter nah." He argued.


"Well it matters to me, man. I need to be on my own, no be you make me leave my parents house so why do you think you can influence my decision? Was I gonna stay with you forever?

Bros, nothing would change between us, you're still my man. No reason am." I replied, pat his shoulder and went back to my duties.


I don't know if na my eyes but Collins was already looking skinny. I guess Becky wasn't back yet since her dad's burial, I hear say her uncle come pack all of them go Abuja for awhile.


I come dey wonder where that uncle dey when his brother was still alive and suffering under dire conditions, na only to come pack family him Sabi...





As Collins was leaving, Philip was arriving, nawao, be like this boys plan me.



I know say na tasking carry Collins come find me and na same thing carry Philip come too.

Him think say as I don get steady job, I go dey spend money recklessly.

Naso him begin tell me all him problems, I was shaking my head and laughing in my mind.


"Guy me na mattress be my problem, I no fit give you anything because I dey gather money to buy bed." I replied him after his countless money required lambas....



"Ahhh, Ahhh, Nai you no tell me? Guy bed no be problem, I get bed for house and another bigger bed for my room for family house wey nobody dey use, na to give you my own then go my family house go carry that one cause it's very big. How you see am?"



My eyes were already glittering like a trailer's headlight.
"Are you for real? You'll dash me your bed?" I asked.


"Ahh Ahh, why you dey shout, you na my guy nah. I can't repay you for what you've done for me. When you dey move so that I fit help you bring the bed?" He asked.




"If possible, tomorrow. We fit go check the place later in the evening." I said and gladly gave him 1k make him use hold body, my niqqa was smiling happily like he just hit the jackpot.

Baba I no even understand wetin I dey read tf

Rumpleslitskin:
Baba I no even understand wetin I dey read tf

Guy shebi I don yarn una say i go dey drop half update till I finish the story so that una go just buy read am once.....



Just three more chapters to go, so please be patient with me biko....


Thanks...

~~~EIGHTY~~~

I still had few things to Handle before I left that area for good.

One of it was like my major obstacle. Blessing of all people had succeeded to run me off my mind.

I was still under this girl's spell and I knew that sooner rather than later, everything would cast and I wasn't sure I'll escape that unscathed.


I made it known in bold terms that the time wasn't right to have a child with her because I never leave house reach one year, so no be better idea if my popsy know, then her parents also, that soldier man don come see her folks and paid dowry sef.


So it was a No brainer to keep torturing me.

I called Blessing friends to meet me near her house, I needed to thrash some issues one and for all.

When they arrived, I called Blessing to join us.

She was grinning wildly as she walked towards us.

I must say, Pregnancy looked good on Blessing. She fresh pass paw paw.....






~~~~~~~~~~~~






"Guy how far, I wan start to pack." I called Philip when I got back home.


I was weary in spirit but thankfully Collins wasn't at home, his younger brother had come for the weekend and was surprised to hear that I was packing out.


He was really sad to see me go and kept insisting that I waited for Collins first before leaving, I yarn am say make him no worry, I'll come visiting the next day.


Ifa hear!!!!



Philip joined me in Collins house and helped me with one of my bags, we found bikes and made our way to my house.


We drop stuff come decide to trek back since na just bed remain and we ain't in a hurry.


He decided that we trek back with the bed which I wasn't too bothered about.

Wetin shock me na when him begin scatter him room dey comot curtain here and there.


Him grab one school bag begin pack clothes and tooth brush, add Bible and jotter join.


In my mind I was like, WTF is happening? But my mouth no gree open to ask am wetin dey happen.




We took turns carrying the big bed on our heads, people were staring at us like we tiff the mattress, if say one person just shout, naso them go rush cover us with beatings.

[b]Hey Guys, una just allow cobweb to choke this thread abi?


una try oh, abeg make una no vex. Just two chapters Nai lead me on one long stumbling stone...



Like I've been super free but no single inspiration to write anything, when morale wan come, one unexpected visitor go just turn up.

Kai e no easy to be a man abeg, so many things to do, so many babes to knack, so many paper chase to go for, so little time...


I wish I can divide myself into three, matter for set Wella....


Anyway thanks for keeping with me on this long slow journey. I deserve plenty beatings for stretching this story till now, something wey for finish since.


Anyway, we continue to say Chineke Thanks Sir!!!!


We're still alive right?


Tomorrow I'll post the last chapter in full....


And then tag everyone that have commented right from page one, if you don't see your name, know that you've been a silent reader.




More good news would drop tomorrow.


Stay safe Homies.....



Still I Rock!!![/b]

Ok na we the wait

Oil dey ur head jare

Therock5555:
[b]Hey Guys, una just allow cobweb to choke this thread abi?


una try oh, abeg make una no vex. Just two chapters Nai lead me on one long stumbling stone...



Like I've been super free but no single inspiration to write anything, when morale wan come, one unexpected visitor go just turn up.

Kai e no easy to be a man abeg, so many things to do, so many babes to knack, so many paper chase to go for, so little time...


I wish I can divide myself into three, matter for set Wella....


Anyway thanks for keeping with me on this long slow journey. I deserve plenty beatings for stretching this story till now, something wey for finish since.


Anyway, we continue to say Chineke Thanks Sir!!!!


We're still alive right?


Tomorrow I'll post the last chapter in full....


And then tag everyone that have commented right from page one, if you don't see your name, know that you've been a silent reader.




More good news would drop tomorrow.


Stay safe Homies.....



Still I Rock!!![/b]

Boss

Tomorrow is here make ah book Space

Can’t wait to get this masterpiece

Hello guys.... I had to juice up the last chapter to it's limit, I hope y'all enjoy it.


Even if you no wan buy the full book, I still appreciate y'all once again.


My fingers don weak with typing....


Thanks once again....

~~~EIGHTY~TWO~~~
FORWARD CHRISTMAS DAY....

My favorite day of the year isn't my birthday.

25th December happens to be my most favorite day of the year.

Because no matter how things bad, the atmosphere is always different from other days, Asin every body dey know say something dey happen that day.


Nothing sweet pass Christmas.... Argue with your chicken lap..

You fit come dey wonder why the day come become my favorite when no be say I get family wey I dey chill with or wife wey go ask me for a Christmas chicken, but as a bachelor, na the only day of the year wey I no dey cook.


Infact from 24th December I no dey find food until 2nd or 3rd January cause my food reserve dey always choke.


One thing wey people no understand be say, we single folks have more strength to chop food more, no be like family folks wey fit cook finish come lose appetite due to abundance of everything.


We wey no dey cook anything, na to just dey receive be our job because everybody go think say you dey hungry as you no get partner. Like say I dey complain.





That Christmas week, I don book between 10-15 people wey I dey com their house come collect my Christmas goodies.

The way I dey make am look, be say them go think say na them dey ball me for Christmas unto say I no dey with my folks.


You go see say na me dey get best parts of meats and almost everything else from rice to drinks.


I dey always carry back pack go church on Christmas day, cause na from after church Nai I dey start my visitation, some people dey actually bring my goodies come church so I go just package am for one corner of my bag so that space go dey for other orishirishi.




I prefer my hustling immediately after church because I wan get record of how many pieces of meat I don compile plus the plenty drinks wey go be like say I rob supermarket.


I dey like do my Waka In the day time cause night na other dimension person dey enter. That one na for canceling of bottles like say we dey compete to be sons of the most high.



On 24th, I branch my folks place with three big Hens make I show them say despite say them no dey show me love, I still get love for them.




My popsy no even acknowledge my presence, me sef just greet and pass, I was already used to the cold attitude.

Well some kids from Makurdi were with them for the holidays, I actually liked the children's presence cause their noise dey give Mumsy joy, infact she just dey wish say na her children wey dey small like that.



Them forget say when we dey small, they'll be like, "don't worry, you would soon grow up and leave me with your wahala."

Same wahala that they are missing now. This life eh, na to enjoy wetin you fit enjoy and leave the rest for village people.



Nobody invited me, nobody needed to invite me though, them know say I must come the next day, if them like make them disown me, I go still visit them to chop Christmas rice. I no get conscience.


So that day I dey church despite all the all night boozefest I did on 24th, I know say my eyes still red die so I nack glasses cause nothing go make me miss those free food.




I took a picture, probably the third picture of myself wey I don snap that year. Yeah, Weird Right?


I compare am with my picture from the previous year. I swear I weak.

Cause I no know if na throwback picture be my present picture cause I degenerated.



Omor your boy don lose weight... I still had that wicked grin though.


Fuvk that shït!!! My bank account was smiling massively.



I could proudly say, I had ten times more money in my account that moment than the previous year when I was still in my parents house.


So it wasn't that dark and gloomy, who being handsome help? Na money be fine bobo...


Quite true, I'll have easily gotten girls back then cause I had maximum paper to waste but staying on my own and been thrust into the cold wilderness of hunger made me tighten up my sleeves.


The ladies wouldn't be there if I don't have money, so why should I place them at the center of my world when I have higher priorities.


Naso I quickly registered into the Stingy Men Association.

Currently I'm the regional President.... I fought for my position, I went plenty savage modes to get there, I was also extremely proud of the stingy niqqa I've become.

Atleast plenty frivolities were suspended, God no go Shame us.







~~~~~~~~

"Young man comot your glasses joor." The senior usher jokingly said to me as I step enter church.


"Madam, free me oh, na small thing make me no come service today. My eyes are red, Infact na your house wey I dey go after church Nai give me motivation to turn up." I quickly spat back and smiled.

"Naughty child." She smirked as I walked away and choosed to seat at the last rows of chairs.


I for don knack that chief usher oh, but her late husband did me one service that I wish I had the chance to properly reward him back before death came calling.

So I dey give am ultimate respect, else I for don dey tamper with that juicy German juice.....




The last row is reserved for nursing mothers, but everybody know say I get coconut head, so nobody bothered to tell me to move cause I'll certainly piss you off and I won't still move.



No be today I don dey act that script.



All through the short service, I just dey scan my list of folks wey suppose arrange better for me, na only two people hold leather, that means I go Waka round houses tire.



Nothing spoil, enough bike money choke my wallet.




Due to the fact that I barely never use glasses, everyone wanted to take pictures with me, so that them fit get memories of when them see me with shades cause them no know when next.


I was thinking of how to flee when my phone suddenly rang.

I took a break from the photo shoot when I noticed the caller as my 'Mum'.


"Hello Mummy..... Happy Christmas." I said with pure joy.

"Uduak, Happy Christmas. How are you?"



I must have froze for about five seconds, Asin that voice sent familiar chills down my spine.

Like what the hell was happening, I had to quickly check to confirm who the caller was.


My voice was almost shaking as I finally replied. "Hello Daddy.... Happy Christmas."



I was almost smiling like he could see my face that moment. Like what were the odds that my Dad would actually be wishing me 'Happy Christmas'.

Person wey no dey give me face. I guess he felt that I'll not pick his call if he had used his phone. Na why him use my Mumsy line.



I didn't mind, I felt like a huge rock had been lifted off my head. Finally..... Just Finally, the man don dey come back to reality that I might actually be gone for real no matter how hard he prays or sulk.



"We are having a Christmas family picnic in **** Hotel. Can you come and join us?" He asked.




What the fuvk? Nothing like command and order, he was even giving me a choice to make on my own. Thinking that I didn't hear him the first time, he was repeating himself when I cut him short.


"I'm coming, I'm f... Eh I'm coming, lemme get bike." I said and cut the call.



Suddenly all those folks wey I don book appointment with didn't matter anymore.



Bleep what did I just say? They did matter oh, but as of then, na my family be my number one priority.


They always have been!!! They always would be!!! I don't think I have a choice.




My kid sis and Lil bro were around, I knew they were in town but my insane Christmas schedule no allow me go check on then.


I hadn't seen my sister in months and my brother in over two years. Lil bro don big pass me, but I still grab am put under armpit make him know say na me still be boss.



The two little kids spending the holidays with my parents rushed to give me a hug.

"Uncle me I wan go see father Christmas oh, my belly don full, na play I wan play now." The smaller one informed me as I grabbed him up and swirled him around till he got dizzy and started stumbling around the carpet grass like say him drink 9 bottles of kai-kai.




Yes, I could lose myself inside children play, I guess since I started my paper chase early and was robbed of childhood fun, it doesn't hurts to become a child once awhile.


Atleast my antics got everyone laughing like crazy. The older child wanted the same treatment her younger brother got but my dad called her to come finish her remaining food.


Guess, the old man magic still works cause the girl went back meekly like a blind goat, back to her food.


I finally had time to face my parents.


Mumsy never amazes me with her National Anthem of how I've become thin like a stick. And how I should start cooking more.

She gave me that warm embrace that got me all squishy inside.

I walked to my dad, we didn't shake or embrace, just pure man to man gaze, the kind that he loves.


I haven't seen it yet but plenty people always tell me that I have piercing eyes, most people avoid looking at my eyes cause they feel uncomfortable.

But na wetin my father like be that. Ofcourse I definitely got those eyes from that man cause my dad could just stare at me all the way from the altar to wherever I hide myself, I dey understand say that night better mending dey for me.


So na why we dey always get more beef when he's talking to me and I give him a stare down. Be like I dey unknot him morale cause na slap dey follow until I learnt how to look at him with puppy eyes.



Sad processing eyes that showed remorse and respect for authority and absolute feeling of guilt and repentance.



Yes, those eyes strokes his ego as he'll spend hours drifting from one tale to another.



What he didn't realize was that developing puppy eyes also made me develop a beautiful fantasy world where I could just mentally go into and have fun in my mind.


My ears are dead that moment, just my brain supplying my mouth voluntary answers Incase of impromptu questions.







Well that day the atmosphere was more lighter, I gave him my best puppy look impression as we stared at each other.


"How's work?"


"Fine oh, I finally got something doing after my leg got well." I replied.


"Yes, your leg, lemme see."

I kicked off my sneakers and showed them the scars as they all thank God for my successful recovery.


In all things, we still thank God...



That was the only conversation we had, the respect has already been earned, I saw it in his body movement.


One other thing I've learnt is to read body languages, I could tell when a beat down is coming days before it happens sef, so I know when the man get Joy for me.





I quickly ordered shawarma and ice cream for everyone. And then paid for the smaller kids to see Father Christmas.



"Uncle, I no dey go back house again. I go tell my mama to send my remaining cloth cause I no dey enjoy like this for my house." The younger child said, obviously having fun.


Naso we enter picture mode next, yours truly na photographer.


All of them wanted the pictures so I gathered everyone phone and was sending the pictures starting from my kid sister's phone.


As soon as she collected the phone, a message entered, her eyes brightened as she grabbed me in a tight hug.


"What's happening there? Cause I no understand this sudden joy." Mumsy said while dishing my third plate of Chinese rice with chicken.



This woman wan kill me with food, she forget say I get plenty places to go, but then no be Everytime person dey get access to my lil bro continental dishes.


Yeah, my bro is a caterer.... Any time wey him show, we dey hold Andrew liver salt and Flagyl tablets extra because person no dey see Nigerian food chop again.


How person go dey cook rice with milk, Choi, we go just leave Naija go Thailand, begin dey chop wetin we no know, but since na service wey we go spend lotta cash for Sheraton to chop Nai we dey chop for free.


Who are we to complain? We dey conquer bowel movement steady... Hahahaha.





My kid sister didn't say anything, she simply showed my mom the text she just got.


"Haa, Uduak, I hope e go reach us?" My mother teased when she saw the sum I sent to my kid sis.


"Una dey doubt me?" I teased and passed my brother his phone.



"My niqqa, na why you be the real Man Must Wack. Infact I owe you one foreign delicacy, when you go dey house make I come cook for you?" My brother asked after he received his own alert. His face wrapped in a big smile.



"I dey cooking strike till new year, oga I go manage my Christmas Jollof and fried rice, before you come shake my stomach with your strange foods." I replied laughing.


My mother grabbed me as I passed her phone to her, she wan cut my neck with embrace.

Abeg don't make me cry Mumsy.


As per Odogwu of the house, I pass my dad him phone back.

His smile broadened.


"God bless you My son." He said and pat my shoulder.


Not forgetting my two other sisters that weren't around, I sent them theirs.

Don't ask me why I have the account number of everyone in my house, that one na story for another day.


To be a Man no be by Mouth....


The two children weren't left out as I passed them 1k notes each, and then was forced to grab both of them up and swing them alittle.


My hands wan nearly cut so I drop them down before I go break person pikin teeth.

We held hands together and prayed before I was allowed to leave.

I don dey eye three big yansh girls when my dad been dey pray, but the girls change location before prayer finish, Choi.....




As I was stepping out, my dad called my name.

"Uduak, don't forget family end of year prayers oh. Hope you're coming."


"No, I'll be out of town that day. Don't worry, I'll pray on my own." I replied back defiantly.



I saw the color drain out of the man's face but his reply was the complete opposite.



"Okay, just be careful on the road."

I almost thought it was my mother that spoke in a manly voice, like are you for real, Popsy no para for me, hahahaha. E Choke!!!


I waved them goodbye as I walked away.


Feeling like James Bond, I know say my siblings go gist me the rest later.


Well, is that not why I'm the black goat... Mehhhh.......


Mehhhhhhhhh........

~~~~~~~~~~~