richboy7:


Aunty ain't you the one that told us one time ago that you and your husband are the quite type and you're happy that you shared the same nature. How come?

I'm happy.... Very happy... We are not dumb lol....

Lamanii22:



Lol.... So you'd lay your hands in a lady?

That's not lay , that's getting the wife you married back... Attimes you need to cast the madness out with .. it goes both way though

stonecoldcafe:


if you are a Christian, ask God for help in overcoming that bad habit. Some Naija boyfriend go ignore you, but husband nor go ignore this habit oh. Work hard on it, ask God for help. If you like, inbox me so I can share a pdf book with you on how a married woman was able to overcome this habit that almost cost her her marriage...

Awwwwn I'll send you an email now... Thank you hun

77up:
Lamani ,it's just unfortunate that no matter what you read here, you may still continue yelling.


That particular character is inbuilt

Ha! I don't want ooo .. infact I miss my younger self..... So pure and innocent.... And very sweet....

Kobojunkie:
It's not character but an emotional response to stress in the OP'S case.

Thank you hun.... Much love x

seguno2:


…….. and apologise genuinely

Yes....

kingsceedon:


I will come back and advise you when he divorce or beats you, but for now, keep on yelling and shouting at him

God forbid! It's not my Portion in jesus'name

jaxxy:


Do u think ure always right? Or love to win an argument or just temperamental??

I don’t want to think ur bipolar.

Bipolar? That's extreme ooo.... I reject it in jesus'name.... High tone is what it is.... Just that high tone ooo....

drimzsmoke:


What's your partner's reaction to this,does he complain or feel bad about it

He'd say something like "God, where's the wife I married" or "you're just very stubborn"....

fredoooooo:

That's not lay , that's getting the wife you married back... Attimes you need to cast the madness out with .. it goes both way though

Lool, using madness to port madness....

Richy4:

Next time when you want to talk to him, take a deep breath. It helps.. I do that whenever I am trying to talk to an unruly kid in order not to lose it..

You should realise by now that shouting does not mean that you are right or wrong... Though that's a trademark of most Nigerians..if U see a black confrontational male on the street, there are high probability that he is either from US or a Nigerian..

�

Lamanii22:
.



Hmmm... I don't know what I am angry about sef, God should just help me to take it away.... I'll just keep quiet.. � thank you for this...

God will help you, I was once like that too.

Its takes grace and self discipline �

Lamanii22:



It's nothing spiritual..... I'm not possessed, I am what the word says I am...

then is obvious you know what your problem is...

then why bring it up here?

Davash222:

Only a senseless man will stoop low to argue with a Nigerian girl.

You always tilt everything to hate on Naija girls..

Kukuma marry virgin oyibo which u can only see in your dreams.

I wonder if na Japanese woman born u? That is y someone rightfully said your WAHALA too much.

Get sense, how old are u sef?

You want to take this attitude into marriage? I bet u, even if u mistakenly see a foreign woman, u will still transfer this hate for Nigerian girls and female gender to the person. unknowingly, anyway na still Nairaland u go still come ask for marital counsel.

E be like say u get paid to start gender war? And your type wants to marry and get peaceful marriage in your dreams abi? You better drop this childish, redpill mentality that disgraces u in public after u go occupy front page typing nonsense like a teenager. I'm not even sure the women u are hating on, u half intelligent like them as u always type rubbish about the female gender.

Na only the females in your family u love and think u can insult females in other families?

Every time, tilting your write up to put women in bad light.

Continue, even the virgin oyibos u think will love u may just be on Nairaland reading all your nonsense which portrays Nairaland men generally as no good in relationships or u think u are only giving yourself a bad name?

Anyway, common sense is NOT always common. A word is enough for the WISE if at all u are one.

Lamanii22:


Lol I'm gentle... It's just after having a baby, so many things changed.... I'm trying to be better, I have been replying with "okay" ever since...

Lol...ok

Lamanii22:
This is one bad thing I discovered recently about myself, I yell at him when I am trying to prove a point, no insults but my voice is always high.... Then I feel bad about it afterwards....

Whenever you're having an argument, count to 10 (slowly) before you respond.

It's going to be hard initially but it'll get easier over time.

Lamanii22:



God forbid! It's not my Portion in jesus'name

Then show him some respect, for you to keep a man that loves you is by showing him some respect, you can't be shouting on me and expect me to love and keep you in my house, never

Lamanii22:
This is one bad thing I discovered recently about myself, I yell at him when I am trying to prove a point, no insults but my voice is always high.... Then I feel bad about it afterwards....

Then stop yelling

Lamanii22:



How am I making mouth.... I don't have a bad character, it's just what I noticed recently....

sincerely I was just joking. I know a lot of people have called you names. But let's be honest I salute you for realising that it is not a desirable attribute and willing to find help. Sadly I have been having same issue with my spouse for years and nothing has changed. It is the worse thing that can happen to a man. It makes the man treasure women outside who just respect them a little. In my view, I think it has circles around when a woman loses love and respect for their spouses. These are the root causes. Shouting could be the symptom of your frustration with him, or your own expression of assertiveness and not willing to come under his headship of the family, hence the loss of respect. In our place of work ,even if we do not live our bosses, we however dare not shout on them because we still see them as the head hence we still fear them .( let no one deceive us fear is a firm of respect.Fear is the highest form of respect, that is why people achieve a lot with a gun and kind words, than with kind words alone)
Women naturally adore and respect who they love. Therefore, loving him more and respecting him will automatically make you stop raising your voice without struggle. However, if there is anything oga is doing that has made you become like 'this to him, then that must be addressed first.
You are soundly educated. I read your posts, clean English, therefore you are intelligent enough to know the root cause. I really salute you for seeking a solution. God help you.

Lamanii22:



Hmmmm so trueee.... We all have weaknesses

notice you're into business, can we chat on WhatsApp

B4 u talk to him, if u are angry, count 1-10 within u. Secondly, listen to him with the intention to understand not just because u want to reply. Also, learn to listen twice as much as u speak. U can aswell be making ur contribution to him as a form of suggestions n not imposing, learn to request and not demand.

Lamanii22:



Bipolar? That's extreme ooo.... I reject it in jesus'name.... High tone is what it is.... Just that high tone ooo....

When does this high tone happen? When just talking normally or during an argument or when sing soprano in the other room?

If it’s only during arguments then u are just overly defensive or stubborn by nature. It’s not a good trait.

If ur husband also had a habit to increasing his tone it would be a shouting competition bt I think he needs to warn u cos now ure feeling like a wolf and he’s looking like a sheep.

Being a quiet person most of my life...
I suddenly became aggressive and i always needed to raise voice/shout at times...
Then I discovered...
Cos i used to be quiet people never took me serious or listened(especially older persons)
I needed to repeat my self over and over again
(sometimes for weeks to pass a particular message)...
Subconsciously i became agggresive(not violent)when the need to be heard on an important isssue...
Now i have learnt to use the two emotions to my advantage...
I could be a quiet mumu for weeks ...
And i could be an arrogant lousy person in a second...
Cos it has been certified here in Lagos That “weyrey die die is necessary”
Just like salt in soup
Small small periodic craze may make u look like a mad person to others
but it keeps YOU sane...
Been aggressive doesn’t have to involve VIOLENCE

Lamanii22:


He'd say something like "God, where's the wife I married" or "you're just very stubborn"....

Lolz....Ma,you and I both know there's no problem here,you just came online to show off your man
Your husband is a VERY MATURE REAL MAN,I'm impressed with your selection of a husband,you must be very smart
But if you're truly worried,you can massage his ego anytime you shout at him.He will want you to keep shouting at him everytime

Lol...You should just be on your own and not in any relationship

Lamanii22:



Not like I insult him or anything... I can't make a point without raising my voice.... I'd just start keeping quiet and not respond....

If thats the case all you need to do is be less aggressive or more dispassionate when arguing..I used to raise my voice a lot with my ex during arguments because she always felt the need to be right, I'm talking 2hr phone calls and as time went on I began to resent her for it but now with my current babe I don't raise my voice and if the argument is getting heated I just concede..and when the tension has died down I then make my point or patiently wait for the I told you so moment... And you know what she respects me for it

Lamanii22:
This is one bad thing I discovered recently about myself, I yell at him when I am trying to prove a point, no insults but my voice is always high.... Then I feel bad about it afterwards....

Before you begin with proving your point, count from numbers 1 to 10 while breathing in and out. Also, think of how damaged you will be if he was to punish you for yelling at him.

It is obvious your respect for your partner is not solid. Learn to respect your partner.

Same with my girlfriend, I will never raise my hands on her but I always make sure she feels my anger in silence �

Lamanii22:
This is one bad thing I discovered recently about myself, I yell at him when I am trying to prove a point, no insults but my voice is always high.... Then I feel bad about it afterwards....

Cos somewhere in your heart you despise him, probably think somehow you are better than him, you could probably be earning more or somehow taking care of him. They said why we shout or yell at people is because we have grown far apart in the heart so subconsciously we shout so they can hear us

[quote author=Lamanii22 post=106674256]


Not like I insult him or anything... I can't make a point without raising my voice.... I'd just start keeping quiet and not respond....[/qu

May I ask: Were you like this when you were dating him?

Lamanii22:
This is one bad thing I discovered recently about myself, I yell at him when I am trying to prove a point, no insults but my voice is always high.... Then I feel bad about it afterwards....

Did you behave this way while you were dating him?

Lamanii22:



I don't have a bad character.... I'm very humble if you see me in person, it's just a recent something... I detected ..

You are beginning to dislike him then.
Or maybe you have another guy at heart.