Toks2008:
Creating this thread has been on my mind for a long time but for some reasons I kept shelving it but after coming across a thread on front page about a 41 year old single lady asking for advise I think it is about time I drop this.

Now what you are about to read is for ladies who are still single in their late 30s and I will make it as simple and as real as possible...

You will never come across the advise I'm about to give you from pastors or many relationship experts but as many people already know me, I keep it as real as possible.

1. Understand that not everybody will get married:

Marriage is not a do or die thing... Marriage does not define who you are and you must never be bothered by what people say cos most of them are Clueless about the institution of marriage. Those who truly understand will never look down on you because you are single. Your happiness is more important than marriage.

2. Be financially independent: Any single lady in her late 30s should never make it a priority to get married cos the more you worry about it the more pressure you put on yourself and this is bad for your psych.

At this stage of your life, self actualization is what you need and trust me, by the time you make it a priority to get the best out of life, this will inadvertently gravitate men to you.

Before I give this third advise let me share this very touching story...

I remember a certain lady who contacted me about 6years ago and she said she has made up her mind to be a single mum if she turns 36 and she is still unmarried and asking me to be ready to donate sperm for her cos she sees me as a responsible guy... Furthermore, she will not put any pressure on me to be financially responsible for the child as she is well to do but she just want to have a child to avoid a situation where she will reach menopause and still childless.

Unfortunately she left this world before she could make this happen... So What is the point?

3. GET A SPERM DONOR TO BEAT EARLY MENOPAUSE.

The paramount purpose of a lady is not necessarily marriage but to multiply, bring forth new generations and replenish the earth. The good thing is that with the modern medical advancement, any lady can achieve this without getting married.

Believe it or not, it is better to get a sperm donor and be a single mum than getting married under pressure to a jerk who will make life hell for you.

If you are a lady still single in your late 30s please get a man to donate sperm for you. You don't have to sleep with him and he needs not be financially responsible for the child but just for you to point to somebody in future as the child's father. This will let you relax to get a better choice of a husband.

4. A man who will love you will love you.

Some may say once they are single mums, guys will run from them and YES I agree but this will also attract real men who understand that single motherhood is not a taboo but Infact a proof that a lady is fertile, a proof that she is responsible enough to keep a baby even when they had the choice to abort.. No genuine man will reject a lady cos she is a single mum especially if the child(ren) is her first.

5. And lastly as suggested by Pocohantas in the comment below... If you are open to polygamy, give it a shot.

According to her, as a lady gets older in Nigeria, it gets harder to see a never-been-married man with noble intentions. So if you don’t mind polygamy, if you just want to have your kids by one man, find one polygamous man and have all your kids with him.

All I wrote, this is an opinionated advise but any lady in this position could still decide to wait until she finds a husband but she must understand that whilst she is waiting, her time is ticking and menopause will definitely come regardless.

I hope this makes sense.

siofra:

We wey no like children now? This one everyone is saying have children if you're in your late thirties or early forties and you haven't seen a responsible man to marry.

lkillbrokehoes:
Let them keep waiting, they will get tired eventually.

I won't even date a broke girl, never in my life

dfrost:


Haba na... Is that how you understood what I wrote? Not like that.

I mentioned the reasons. It might be one, two, three or all three.

Joke Silva
Beyoncé - hubby cheated but she managed her home.

No marriage is easy but it takes the two to understand each other.

pocohantas:
1: Use juju and hook one man.

Don’t waste your time going to Shiloh or all these scam pentecostal churches. They will end up hooking you up with one boring evangelist that suffers premature ejaculatiôn.

It is better you use your hand and hook the one you like. But treat him well.

Nothing wrong in hooking husband. Even the bible says the kingdom of God suffereth violence. I used to think you are responsible,but after this your statement of using juju to hook a man,except you are just catching cruise, I have lost every iota of regard I had for you.

2. If you are open to polygamy, give it a shot.
As you get older in Nigeria, it gets harder to see a never-been-married man with noble intentions. So if you don’t mind polygamy, if you just want to have your kids by one man, find one polygamous man and have all your kids with him.

pocohantas:
1: Use juju and hook one man.

Don’t waste your time going to Shiloh or all these scam pentecostal churches. They will end up hooking you up with one boring evangelist that suffers premature ejaculatiôn.

It is better you use your hand and hook the one you like. But treat him well.

Nothing wrong in hooking husband. Even the bible says the kingdom of God suffereth violence.

2. If you are open to polygamy, give it a shot.
As you get older in Nigeria, it gets harder to see a never-been-married man with noble intentions. So if you don’t mind polygamy, if you just want to have your kids by one man, find one polygamous man and have all your kids with him.

DissTroy:
Are we all going to ignore the fact that some people are advocating hooking a man with juju on this thread? What is wrong with you people?

Isn't hypnotising a person against a their a crime or are we going to ignore it because women are the ones doing it?

Now when a woman wears something as simple as waistbeads, men get triggered because you've all normalised juju.

Iyaebe:
Read his post again, he stated it there that she unfortunately passed on before their agreed time

perambulator:



For me this is bad advice. Yes you will satisfy your yearning for a child but understand the lifelong consequences for the child without a father, without a sense of where he/she came from can be very damaging. that child will always feel inadequate no matter what you do. it is bad enough for children from broken homes, talk less children of a sperm donor. I think this is the most selfish thing a woman can do.

Lollittaa:

and the single men are looking for poor women?

Toks2008:
Creating this thread has been on my mind for a long time but for some reasons I kept shelving it but after coming across a thread on front page about a 41 year old single lady asking for advise I think it is about time I drop this.

Now what you are about to read is for ladies who are still single in their late 30s and I will make it as simple and as real as possible...

You will never come across the advise I'm about to give you from pastors or many relationship experts but as many people already know me, I keep it as real as possible.

1. Understand that not everybody will get married:

Marriage is not a do or die thing... Marriage does not define who you are and you must never be bothered by what people say cos most of them are Clueless about the institution of marriage. Those who truly understand will never look down on you because you are single. Your happiness is more important than marriage.

2. Be financially independent: Any single lady in her late 30s should never make it a priority to get married cos the more you worry about it the more pressure you put on yourself and this is bad for your psych.

At this stage of your life, self actualization is what you need and trust me, by the time you make it a priority to get the best out of life, this will inadvertently gravitate men to you.

Before I give this third advise let me share this very touching story...

I remember a certain lady who contacted me about 6years ago and she said she has made up her mind to be a single mum if she turns 36 and she is still unmarried and asking me to be ready to donate sperm for her cos she sees me as a responsible guy... Furthermore, she will not put any pressure on me to be financially responsible for the child as she is well to do but she just want to have a child to avoid a situation where she will reach menopause and still childless.

Unfortunately she left this world before she could make this happen... So What is the point?

3. GET A SPERM DONOR TO BEAT EARLY MENOPAUSE.

The paramount purpose of a lady is not necessarily marriage but to multiply, bring forth new generations and replenish the earth. The good thing is that with the modern medical advancement, any lady can achieve this without getting married.

Believe it or not, it is better to get a sperm donor and be a single mum than getting married under pressure to a jerk who will make life hell for you.

If you are a lady still single in your late 30s please get a man to donate sperm for you. You don't have to sleep with him and he needs not be financially responsible for the child but just for you to point to somebody in future as the child's father. This will let you relax to get a better choice of a husband.

4. A man who will love you will love you.

Some may say once they are single mums, guys will run from them and YES I agree but this will also attract real men who understand that single motherhood is not a taboo but Infact a proof that a lady is fertile, a proof that she is responsible enough to keep a baby even when they had the choice to abort.. No genuine man will reject a lady cos she is a single mum especially if the child(ren) is her first.

5. And lastly as suggested by Pocohantas in the comment below... If you are open to polygamy, give it a shot.

According to her, as a lady gets older in Nigeria, it gets harder to see a never-been-married man with noble intentions. So if you don’t mind polygamy, if you just want to have your kids by one man, find one polygamous man and have all your kids with him.

All I wrote, this is an opinionated advise but any lady in this position could still decide to wait until she finds a husband but she must understand that whilst she is waiting, her time is ticking and menopause will definitely come regardless.

I hope this makes sense.

DissTroy:
Are we all going to ignore the fact that some people are advocating hooking a man with juju on this thread? What is wrong with you people?

Isn't hypnotising a person against a their a crime or are we going to ignore it because women are the ones doing it?

Now when a woman wears something as simple as waistbeads, men get triggered because you've all normalised juju.

CUMIN:


Steve jobs was fathered by a Syrian father and mother. But was adopted by American parents

He paid investigator to search his biological father...he went there to see drink tea at his shop but the father couldn't recognize him.

He left without introducing himself.


Imagine if he doesn't have the resources to do that. Part of him will be void.

These women are creating problem for the future just like the gang violence we see in black Americans society.

torqque7:
. I hope if it’s a man doing juju to hook a female u will also be fine with that,Just imagine how rotten the society has become to the extent I are even using the Bible to justify wickedness and juju/fetishness..it is VERY WRONG on all levels to take away a persons free will and manipulate and force them to do what u want .

UncleJudax:
single, rich men marry broke-ass women every day. dafuq you talking about.

nuelldido:
Well, I'll say all your advice are sensual and human knowledge.
My dear sisters God has never failed anyone who serve and call him with perfect heart.

Any solution you have outside God will cause you problem in the future. The suggestions above to me is not the way.
Find your way to Christ, He will help you and settle you maritally.

sisisioge:


Hmmmm....I thought you were of the opinion that once a woman gets offered the golden opportunity to become a Mrs, she should grab it without being too selective of minding how she feels about him. By the way, do you have any advice for the men that are still single in the late 30s?

Katcall:
your biological clock is ticking

Iyaebe:
How did you know it's not her

TheWolfen:
how time flies

RIP to her

Toks2008:


You are very right. Thanks for the correction... Well noted.

siofra:


No. I don't wish. I don't wish to have tiny children around me. Not everyone is the same. Not every woman is born to be a mother and that's not something you should be so triggered about.

perambulator:


In this life, you tend to justify anything once youve made up your mind especially when you are desperate. The truth is there is no reason a good responsible woman with a good attitude should be single at 40. Most are in the position they are because of the poor choices they made or attitude and it is that same mindset which clearly hasnt been resolved with which they think less about the child's future but their selfish needs by bringing a child to the world without a father talk less of via a sperm donor. It is the height of selfishness and the consequences on both the mother and the child will manifest as sure as there is night and day! 5% may escape but they will be the exception rather than the rule.

You cannot cheat nature...a price will be paid!!! That these women are single at 40 is in itself a price for past poor decisions...have these women introspected and resolved these poor life choices that got them here in the 1st place? I make bold to say ANY woman who has a child DELIBERATELY without a father is inherently a selfish woman because it is clear her needs come before that of the child!!!! this is exactly the reason she is 40 and single. There is a time for everything, you must know when you missed the boat and dont create bigger problems in your desperation!!!

You talk about love. Never mind that i dont think it is an act of love to deny a child the chance of a father to begin with but what happens is single mother tend to over pamper their child to compensate in the process creating children with an entitlement mentality, Weak minded men, or daughters with a bad outlook to men from birth because they've never experienced a real father. God help you as a single mother if you have a daughter because no man can replace her father. Any other male figure especially in these times will be very careful not to get too close or to upset her. The last thing a man wants is for a your daughter to accuse him of sexual abuse, even you the mother will be paranoid to have her alone around adult men. The only man that you can feel comfortable around her is her father and she doesnt have one so she will grow up with a bent/warped attitude towards men by default.

I have said my own. dont waste your youth so you dont finding yourself facing unsavoury choices at 40.

Octopusssy:

It's not Victorian.