danny56:


Ok

Is that what Paul said about Marriage?

You people just pull sentiments out of your 'where-the-sun-don't-shine' and run with it.

Is Marriage for everyone?

No!

Will everyone get married?

No!

In a society like ours there is "pressure" to get married once you have attended a certain age or a financial standing.

As someone who is married for a couple of years, I can share some experience with us based on what I have passed thru

Marriage is not for everyone. So like what most people above me have stated know what works for you. Just like we have some unmarried unhappy people so we have some single unhappy people.

Mang people who are enjoying their marriages are not heard of on social media. Na the one when them pour acid for each other body you go hear for news. The happy ones usually have keep a low profile

As a married person, I sometimes miss the "freedom" in being single, freedom in ability to take decisions without consulting anyone, being able to do what I want when I want...but in the same breath....nothing beats companionship that you get from a couples who love them

All these you can get outside Marriage but as a woman would you be willing to stick to a partner and dedicate 20, 30 or 40 years of your life just like that without something to fall back on.

Granted Marriage does not give any "assurances" of a life lived happily every after but its sure a good way to hope to achieve one

Furthermore you could have kids outside wedlock and still raise them but is that the best. Because you can use ur legs to control a steering wheel of a car does that make It cool
But once again it boiling down to individuals.....to be continued

rickyrex:
1. you can't not get it all... Been single that's the fact.

2. And talking about kissing in public we have culture and that must be respected

1. Yes....neither can you get it all being married... There are pros to married life and there are also pros to singlehood, you just have to find out what works for you and go with it... Marriage is not for everybody and marriage will not bring out the best in everybody... Some marriages will make a person feel like he/she is in bondage, some will turn others to beast, others will make you do despecable things you never thought you'd ever do....but marriage to the right person will make hell feel like heaven.... You just have to find the right person ((that is if you're interested in getting married)), but until you find that special one, stay single and don't allow desperation to make you enter wetin you go regret later....

2. Yes we have a culture, I agree, but even at homes, do all married couple display "the public show of love" you spoke about??

....Marriage to a person who loves you the way you love them...especially when the love is healthy could bring a great sense of satisfaction and accomplishment which feels secure under the cover of Marriage

When kids comes into the mix, marriage is pretty stressful. Nothing is stressful as being an individual others depend on. Despite the struggles, there is a satisfaction that you can only get from Marriage when u see that you effort on ur kids is yielding the desired results

If you are marrying because of sex, bros just stay single responsibility may likely push that to the back burner....not as though married people do not have sex often but a time would come were sex would not be a big deal as it is to you now

In summary, if Marriage works for you, pray to find to find a good person. If it doesn't work for you, cruise you single hood. Do not say castigating someone's else's decision I'm other to validate ur own

Mercychen:
To me, nothing really special about marriage because I've moved closely with married people and all i see is stress, stress and more stress!

Imagine the daily routine of a woman. Especially those who are not working.

Wake up early ( when youre not ready)
Prep the children for school.
Prepare their food breakfast.
If hubby is nice, he'll help drop them off otherwise, you do the school runs.

You get home and start putting the house in order. And attend to other chores staring you in the face. Time is ticking

Get ready to prepare lunch.
Then before you know it, it's time to go pick the kids.
Come back, freshen them up.
Serve them
Attend to their home work.

The you get set for dinner so hubby can have something to eat when he gets home. Before you know it, the day is gone and you're fagged out. Same thing continues tomorrow and on and on until....

Imagine if you're a working Mom and now have to combine all these with work...

Now tell me what will make a single viewing all these want to get married?

Truth be told, that's another thing I calculate and i relax and continue enjoying my single life.

Many married women are not happy. They are silently crying!!!
Forget all that fake smile they wear when they come out. They are not happy

Even the men are not 100% fulfilled. Responsibility wan break their neck.

Let's tell ourselves the truth. Even if you're rich, it's still not that easy.

I've seen a rich couple who both drove madly to school at the same time to pick their ward and were reigning heavy curses at each other at the gate because they both argued earlier on who's going to pick the son. So it's like non of them wanted to come and it was already evening and the boy was still in school.

I guess they called the house and the nanny who was babysitting their twin babies then, told them the boy was not home.

Omor.. see the speed they drove into the school compound with. Wify packed one side, hubby parked the other way and they both jumped out of their cars rushing Into the school and abusing each other.

Wife : " You shouldn't have come" useless man" As she stormed into the classroom

Man: ori e ko pe. why did you come? You should have remained at work"

Hmmm... So much hype about marriage. Abegi!

The comparison is always between a bad marriage and singleness, maka why?

Companionship. Very very vital

Loxleyy:
1. You get a companion...sha e get some wey na thugs.

2. Free Sex till you tire

3.

3. As a man you start paying bills for two

CountVersailles:

Why do you guys write English like this nau?

Kindly explain what is wrong with the sentence.

Toks2008:
Companionship. Very very vital

Good you know.
And you know you can't get that in polygamy.

HBB1:



Is that what Paul said about Marriage?

You people just pull sentiments out of your 'where-the-sun-don't-shine' and run with it.

Is Marriage for everyone?

No!

Will everyone get married?

No!

Marriage is a MYSTERY. Don't think you understand it until you are sure you know. I don't argue! Just live by what you know.

danny56:



Marriage is a MYSTERY. Don't think you understand it until you are sure you know. I don't argue! Just live by what you know.

You will understand later in life

Mercychen:



Nothing like dwelling on the negative here. Its a normal phenomenon and thats only one aspect I just cited there, which most married people can attest to.

I like to say things the way they are. It's not negativity but reality., Onyen " negative".

As for my being single, it's a choice. And I won't join you and your lots to go into marriage just because others are going into it or without first calculating the cost,; only to get there and start wishing I never did.

You that is married, how far?
Are you any happier?
Uchu!



.

Mariangeles:


Good you know.
And you know you can't get that in polygamy.

You mean I will have lots of it. Abi you don't know what polygamy means.

No marry stay there ,when u begin sending another woman pikin message ,and she worns u never to send her child again ,and u feel bad,that's when u will discover there is joy in marriage

You have not married before and therefore not really in a position to speak about the specialty of marriage. Allow the married or divorced ones answer. All you are saying are either what you perceive, heard or watched, and not what you experienced.

Marriage for me is special as it gives me a sense of purpose. Also when I am down I have someone I can confide in and she listens to me. Marriage is special for those of us who are not selfish. Truly its not a compulsory affair as not everyone can stay married. Like everything in life marriage also has its challenges but that does not in anyway invalidate its specialty.

The major thing Op should be concerned about is to marry for the right reasons. Then it becomes special. My first requirement for marriage is marry him or her if she possess something no other person can give you. Sex, food, beauty can be gotten from so many a place but you see "peace, purpose, companionship etc. They are rare. Once you marry for the right reason and also understand what marriage truly is I am sure it will remain special for ever.

I have been married for 5 years now with 2 kids and truly I would marry my wife over and over again.

Mercychen:
To me, nothing really special about marriage because I've moved closely with married people and all i see is stress, stress and more stress!

Imagine the daily routine of a woman. Especially those who are not working.

Wake up early ( when youre not ready)
Prep the children for school.
Prepare their food breakfast.
If hubby is nice, he'll help drop them off otherwise, you do the school runs.

You get home and start putting the house in order. And attend to other chores staring you in the face. Time is ticking

Get ready to prepare lunch.
Then before you know it, it's time to go pick the kids.
Come back, freshen them up.
Serve them
Attend to their home work.

The you get set for dinner so hubby can have something to eat when he gets home. Before you know it, the day is gone and you're fagged out. Same thing continues tomorrow and on and on until....

Imagine if you're a working Mom and now have to combine all these with work...

Now tell me what will make a single viewing all these want to get married?

Truth be told, that's another thing I calculate and i relax and continue enjoying my single life.

Many married women are not happy. They are silently crying!!!
Forget all that fake smile they wear when they come out. They are not happy

Even the men are not 100% fulfilled. Responsibility wan break their neck.

Let's tell ourselves the truth. Even if you're rich, it's still not that easy.

I've seen a rich couple who both drove madly to school at the same time to pick their ward and were reigning heavy curses at each other at the gate because they both argued earlier on who's going to pick the son. So it's like non of them wanted to come and it was already evening and the boy was still in school.

I guess they called the house and the nanny who was babysitting their twin babies then, told them the boy was not home.

Omor.. see the speed they drove into the school compound with. Wify packed one side, hubby parked the other way and they both jumped out of their cars rushing Into the school and abusing each other.

Wife : " You shouldn't have come" useless man" As she stormed into the classroom

Man: ori e ko pe. why did you come? You should have remained at work"

Hmmm... So much hype about marriage. Abegi!

This lady wey I marry na big achievement for me. I go through a lot of stress without her.

Mariangeles:


Never condemn what you want.
Be true to yourself.
Marriage to the right person is a blessing.
Children in marriage give you a sense of purpose. They make life struggle worth it. They give meaning to life.

Thunder fire your head there! You go come count children wey dem dey born for Nigeria as blessings when you dey struggle on how much salary? It's no blessing but you bringing another soul to this traphole called Nigeria.


Weting dey do Nigerians sef abeg!

simple answer - nothing.

society basically hype most thing.

i would say the only thing it gives you is focus or a purpose. guess thats why they say your are responsible.

Truth is there is nothing really. when you are are child you dream of been an adult now that you are an adult whats special about it?

Dainy1:
Honestly, I don't understand this. Is this an act of hypocriacy or what truth are they really hiding from us?
They claimed marriage is not important, not for everyone, that you can stay single and be having children outside wedlock, so long as you can take care of them. Yet, they go about talking you down as soon as you're of age and have no wife/husband.

A girlfriend of mine in her late thirties just declared she's getting married and everyone is sharing her up, sending her congratulatory messages as if she has not been existing.

Does marriage really worth that hyping or what's so special about it that civilization is hiding from us?

Toks2008:


You mean I will have lots of it. Abi you don't know what polygamy means.

Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
There's no true companionship in polygamy.

My brother nothing is special about getting Married oo, just wait till your friends begins to tell you how their children came home to visit them during holidays or don’t you think you get older everyday and a time will come when you can no longer do the basic things you do now, you will need people around you.. or don’t you want to see your children’s children??

DON'T SEEK MARRIAGE ADVICE IN NAIRALAND BEACUSE GREATER PERCENTAGE
OF THE USERS HERE ARE INEXPERIENCED SINGLE YOUTH.

By the way, if you want to live longer, please marry (science said that)

[s]

Amos1423:


Thunder fire your head there! You go come count children wey dem dey born for Nigeria as blessings when you dey struggle on how much salary? It's no blessing but you bringing another soul to this traphole called Nigeria.


Weting dey do Nigerians sef abeg!

[/s]

You are a suffering soul. You're not happy.
Free yourself from all negativity so that you can be happy.

She may not be as wretched as you are. Frustration is eating up your soul. Chill out bros.
Love and light..

Amos1423:


Thunder fire your head there! You go come count children wey dem dey born for Nigeria as blessings when you dey struggle on how much salary? It's no blessing but you bringing another soul to this traphole called Nigeria.


Weting dey do Nigerians sef abeg!

Mercychen:
To me, nothing really special about marriage because I've moved closely with married people and all i see is stress, stress and more stress!

Imagine the daily routine of a woman. Especially those who are not working.

Wake up early ( when youre not ready)
Prep the children for school.
Prepare their food breakfast.
If hubby is nice, he'll help drop them off otherwise, you do the school runs.

You get home and start putting the house in order. And attend to other chores staring you in the face. Time is ticking

Get ready to prepare lunch.
Then before you know it, it's time to go pick the kids.
Come back, freshen them up.
Serve them
Attend to their home work.

The you get set for dinner so hubby can have something to eat when he gets home. Before you know it, the day is gone and you're fagged out. Same thing continues tomorrow and on and on until....

Imagine if you're a working Mom and now have to combine all these with work...

Now tell me what will make a single viewing all these want to get married?

Truth be told, that's another thing I calculate and i relax and continue enjoying my single life.

Many married women are not happy. They are silently crying!!!
Forget all that fake smile they wear when they come out. They are not happy

Even the men are not 100% fulfilled. Responsibility wan break their neck.

Let's tell ourselves the truth. Even if you're rich, it's still not that easy.

I've seen a rich couple who both drove madly to school at the same time to pick their ward and were reigning heavy curses at each other at the gate because they both argued earlier on who's going to pick the son. So it's like non of them wanted to come and it was already evening and the boy was still in school.

I guess they called the house and the nanny who was babysitting their twin babies then, told them the boy was not home.

Omor.. see the speed they drove into the school compound with. Wify packed one side, hubby parked the other way and they both jumped out of their cars rushing Into the school and abusing each other.

Wife : " You shouldn't have come" useless man" As she stormed into the classroom

Man: ori e ko pe. why did you come? You should have remained at work"

Hmmm... So much hype about marriage. Abegi!

Hahahaha hahahaha Lwkmd. Everything you said is true. I am a married man and I must tell u quickly that what u described is a family that's a little comfortable and has some money to sort things. If not that am busy I would have created time to discribe a typical Nigerian home with little or no finance, it's even worse for those in this category.

That's why till today I admired the igbos so much, although most Igbo men marry late, when they do, they make sure there's enough money to carter for the family, and by extension, his relations and his wife's relations. All these things u mention, whether u want to believe it or not, can be made easier with money, u agree with me right? You can get a house help, but is it not family that are well to do that can afford a maid? You can get a driver? same thing apply as above. Conclusively, marriage is sweet, sweeter and sweetest when there's money. Let me emphasis that it's usually women that pushes men into marriage, so when talking about stress for a woman whose Lifetime dream has been accomplished, multiple the stress for the man by cube root of ten.

wordapostle:
Peace
Companion
Access to good food
Healthy environment
Unconditional love
Public display of love

Number 2 is the main reason for ME. Not for food or sex or even kids..Just for a lifelong companion....but recent experience(s) is beginning to shift my ideals.

dchem:
You have not married before and therefore not really in a position to speak about the specialty of marriage. Allow the married or divorced ones answer. All you are saying are either what you perceive, heard or watched, and not what you experienced.

Marriage for me is special as it gives me a sense of purpose. Also when I am down I have someone I can confide in and she listens to me. Marriage is special for those of us who are not selfish. Truly its not a compulsory affair as not everyone can stay married. Like everything in life marriage also has its challenges but that does not in anyway invalidate its specialty.

The major thing Op should be concerned about is to marry for the right reasons. Then it becomes special. My first requirement for marriage is marry him or her if she possess something no other person can give you. Sex, food, beauty can be gotten from so many a place but you see "peace, purpose, companionship etc. They are rare. Once you marry for the right reason and also understand what marriage truly is I am sure it will remain special for ever.

I have been married for 5 years now with 2 kids and truly I would marry my wife over and over again.

I never said it's bad to get married. Don't you guys understand the difference between "marriage is bad" and "nothing special about marriage"?

Please, I'm not discouraging anyone from getting married neither am I consoling the singles. All I'm saying is, married people are not better than unmarried people. Nothing special.!

[A

Hathor5:


You have described the stress that comes with having very young children and not with marriage as such.

But kids grow! In my brother's house the three kids who are all in primary school prepare their breakfast alone. Their parents teach them how to take care of themselves and there is no longer 'I want this, I don't like this'. My brother enjoys his coffee.

And when you ask him what makes him happy, he will tell you that it is his family. They are currently considering having a fourth child.

If it was that bad, they would not. They aren't mad.

Different strokes ...

Obviously some would have great experiences in life's endeavours like marriage.
Moreso, it is that which gives us much hassle that makes us the happier. Jobs, family, Business, Professions. Why? Because we would have avoided the hassle if we didn't find it beneficial/important.

It's arguable but I don't really think anyone can truly assess whether another's marriage is happy.
Marriage is not perceptible vicariously. Only the parties know best.

Marriage is great, otherwise God would not have instituted it. However any venture that involves sharing concensus, views, permissions & responsibilities with other parties (a spouse) can soon become a hassle. Since it creates friction of 'another' interfering in your 'space'.

Corinthians 7:28

But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

Sex and bearing of children are the major reasons people get married.

Favfables1:


1. Yes....neither can you get it all being married... There are pros to married life and there are also pros to singlehood, you just have to find out what works for you and go with it... Marriage is not for everybody and marriage will not bring out the best in everybody... Some marriages will make a person feel like he/she is in bondage, some will turn others to beast, others will make you do despecable things you never thought you'd ever do....but marriage to the right person will make hell feel like heaven.... You just have to find the right person ((that is if you're interested in getting married)), but until you find that special one, stay single and don't allow desperation to make you enter wetin you go regret later....

2. Yes we have a culture, I agree, but even at homes, do all married couple display "the public show of love" you spoke about??

down to the last point show of love depend on how it works for a couple. The romantic has a different ways of doing it. Not everyone likes this regular pre-intimacy. Learn to do things that turn your spouse on

rickyrex:
He who finds a wife.... finds a good thing and shall obtain favour from God. Not he who finds a knife. There's a tiny line between knife and wife don't make that mistake of going for a wrong fellow else it will cost you bitterness. Love is sweet, marriage is sweet... The secret is understanding, care, fear of God and trust. Never you go for one you list for. Never you marry with condition let your desire be unconditional. There are thousands of good men and women ... You can't be a bad man and say you want a good woman, you can't be leaving a wayward lifestyle and you want to marry a nice and caring man. You must be ready for change, you must be ready to let go your selfish interest in order to be with another. Marriage is sweet I tell you. If you make the right choice. Marriage will shapen you, marriage will make you be more responsible, marriage will make you learn to manage, marriage will make you to understand stand that you are not alone in stuggle, marriage will preserve you from living a dirty lifestyle... Above all marriage will bring more blessings and comfort to you. Just make your choice be God's odained.

Say no more