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Could This Be Ordinary??? Please Help With Your Advice - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Could This Be Ordinary??? Please Help With Your Advice by Nonexisting: 7:15pm On Nov 25, 2021
Fucck love and fucck relationship.
Re: Could This Be Ordinary??? Please Help With Your Advice by LofP(m): 7:27pm On Nov 25, 2021
Kobojunkie:
So because he alluded to sinister events means there was most definitely sinister events, events which he didn't even think to tell anyone of, let alone his parents, of until she demanded answers from him for his actions the weeks prior? undecided

You folks ehn! Hopefully God go rescue the next generation from these mental shackles placed on your minds by those before you. undecided
Dude stop running around in circles.

Why will I mention gauging the family's reaction if not because something isn't right either with the guy or his tales? The topic of the thread is "Could this be ordinary?"

What mental shackles are you wearing bro? ��� grin angry grin
Re: Could This Be Ordinary??? Please Help With Your Advice by Nobody: 7:41pm On Nov 25, 2021
You write beautifully.

What happened is not ordinary. I'm familiar with the hairy, tall creature in your story, and they're messengers of sicknesses and bad luck.

May God have mercy on him.
Re: Could This Be Ordinary??? Please Help With Your Advice by Nobody: 7:44pm On Nov 25, 2021
Make una dey try summarize. We are not going for any presentation or exam.. untop boyfriend matter? mtcheeww
Re: Could This Be Ordinary??? Please Help With Your Advice by Kobojunkie: 7:47pm On Nov 25, 2021
LofP:
Dude stop running around in circles.

Why will I mention gauging the family's reaction if not because something isn't right either with the guy or his tales? The topic of the thread is "Could this be ordinary?"

What mental shackles are you wearing bro? ��� grin angry grin
So, something is wrong with the boy's tale and it is the duty of the gal to Guage his parent's reaction to this tale why? undecided

I abandoned most of the shackles and I continue to check to shed em daily, this so I never find myself embroiled in that delusion/insanity ever again. lipsrsealed
Re: Could This Be Ordinary??? Please Help With Your Advice by Kobojunkie: 7:47pm On Nov 25, 2021
Colour4:
You write beautifully.

What happened is not ordinary. I'm familiar with the hairy, tall creature in your story, and they're messengers of sicknesses and bad luck.

May God have mercy on him.
According to what belief or book of knowledge? undecided
Re: Could This Be Ordinary??? Please Help With Your Advice by Angelacruz: 7:49pm On Nov 25, 2021
That is wat i was thinking..
babavik:
Your guy is just looking for a way to chance (dump) you.
The spiritual story are all made up lies.
His actions and silent behaviours are all acting.
No right thinking man will sleep with a girl "once" notice all is not well and still continue with her.
To paint a story of meeting a ghost is massive.
My dear if he's truly traumatised as he said he won't even contemplate to stay in that house alone neither day nor night.
If truly he saw a ghost and he thinks the girl is associated with it, by now he must have blocked her number not to talk of being reachable. Then you said "the girl called and he left the car to answer the call" my dear herein lies the answer to your problem.
.
.
.
.
There's something serious going on between them and it has been for long.
#myopinion
Re: Could This Be Ordinary??? Please Help With Your Advice by dejonathan(f): 8:46pm On Nov 25, 2021
Airnigma:


I really don't know what to think of the situation, it was too drastic and sudden, he gave me no soft landing at all...like 4years gone just like that??
I wish I could fight for him but nah, I can't tread that path for him again. I hold absolutely nothing against him and I hope he finds true peace
.
With your write up,i guess you're one of the few loyal one we still have out their..
I pray you find a man who'll be yours forever soon
Re: Could This Be Ordinary??? Please Help With Your Advice by larryking540: 9:11pm On Nov 25, 2021
Airnigma:
Hello everyone...I'm in dire need of your critical and honest opinions. It is going to be a long read, I deeply apologize in advance.

My relationship of about four years ended a week ago and the circumstances surrounding the break up were highly unforeseen, everything happened too quickly.

So my boyfriend and I have been together for about four years, we were very intentional about each other. Our love was a very deep one, we connected on a lot of levels, shared mutual friends, I know his family and he knows some of mine and we hardly had issues save for the usual petty squabbles which we resolved ASAP.

But the whole trouble started less than 3 weeks ago. We had our usual conversations the Sunday preceeding the week everything went downhill, everything was absolutely well between us. By the following Monday evening, I tried reaching out to him to catch up on how his day went, he didn't answer his phone. I chatted him up but his response was very unlike him. I thought he was just stressed from work and would get back to himself in no time.

However, he failed to do as I expected and I became very worried and disturbed, this was already going to 2 weeks. I had to call him up one night and asked him to tell me what ever the problem is, I honestly felt he was going through some deep stuff. He later got in touch with me and promised to come by my place the next day so he could explain himself in person.

He came as promised, he appeared very gloomy and was far from his normal self. We got talking in his car, he kept saying he doesn't understand himself anymore and he messed up badly this time around.

He dropped the news that he had something with another girl in that space of less than two weeks. He said it was going to be an innocent hangout but he can't even tell how everything went down eventually, the girl later slept over at his place.
He broke down in tears, told me that he couldn't stand the guilt of what he did, didnt want to drag me into the mess and that was why he couldn't bring himself to talk to me or act like nothing happened.

There's a more disturbing side to what he later told me. He said he had what seemed like a spiritual attack in the middle of the night. Apparently, the girl was in the house when it happened (he stays in the house alone). According to him, the inverter in the house went off and he left the room where they were together to sleep in one of the sitting areas in the house because of heat. He was asleep when he sensed something very heavy and unusual, he opened his eyes and right in front of him was a dark, tall and hairy creature. The thing kept staring at him and he felt being drained, couldn't move or say a word till it walked away. He was completely scared, he summoned strength, stood up , ran into another room and made some frantic calls to their church priests and they prayed with him. He insisted it wasn't a dream, that he was wide awake when he saw what he saw. He also added that he looked into the room the girl was sleeping, she was still asleep and most likely didn't know what happened to him.

He told me he hasn't been himself since that experience and would genuinely not have told me anything but he has been really scared.
I got really worried at this point and had ask who the girl is. He finally opened up that he met her last year, they chatted for a while but they somehow lost contacts since last year, only for them to reconnect not too long ago this year, hence, the initial hangout. I asked how well he knows her but he broke down again and said he barely knows her, doesn't know her school or anything.

I was completely heartbroken and wondered how he could soil four years in less than 2 weeks. We cried together and he pleaded with me, that I have done nothing but loved and stood by him throughout the years.
At that point to be honest, I was pained but I was less concerned about the fact that he cheated on me, I was deeply scared and worried about the attack. He said he has been having some routine prayer sessions and he also asked me to pray with him in the car, I did pray for him with all of my heart. He thanked me profusely and burst into another heart-rending crying session. I had to console and encourage him, that he should try to draw closer to God this period and he is going to be fine again.

Since the night he told me everything, we've just been checking on each other and he said he's been indoor a lot since then and still can't sleep or stay alone in the dark.
Now to the very ending part of my tale, I asked him to come around my place last night. He came and whilst we were talking, his phone rang and he got out of the car to receive the call. He came back in to the car and again, his phone rang and he had to tell me the girl was the one calling. I became very livid and surprised that he's still in touch with her even after the whole attack episode cos we can't even tell where it came from.

I asked him to show me her name, he succumbed. My people, my boyfriend saved this girl's name and added kissing emojis. Something he never ever does, he is the type that saves every contact with their full name, including his siblings. Save for the nicknames he saved my number and his bro with, I hardly saw nicknames on his contact list talk less of adding emojis. I knew that was the height of it all and asked him how, he said it was the girl that took his phone and saved her number like that. I'm like, what? In a space of how many weeks and she's got that kinda control on you already?

I told him the action any right thinking person would have taken after the attack would be to, atleast keep away from her and even me cos who knows where it all came from. He said he tried cos he hasn't even been getting jobs since this whole thing started but the issue now is, the girl is claiming she's pregnant for him and has been all over him, professing love and all in the space of less than 3weeks. According to him, he has told just a friend apart from me..he hasn't informed any of his siblings and been keeping to himself, trying to figure how he got into all the mess.

I know my story doesn't add up But then, this guy is someone I can vouch for his integrity and bluntness, he'd never stoop so low and start telling all these scary lies just to do away with me. It costs him absolutely nothing to just tell me, he's done with us and walk away.

We knew we were completely done with each other last night and I'm just thankful that I didn't get myself into any mess with him, no bad feeling at all. I feel more of pity for him cos this incident could totally change the course of his life, he is a struggling young guy still trying to find his right footing in life. I'm more worried that he hasn't told his brother any of this, (they are pretty close but his bro doesn't stay in the country) more like he is shielding everything and dying in silence.

He betrayed my love for him and I'm moving on fine, albeit, hard. I just don't want a situation whereby the whole thing is beyond mere eyes and he is weak, he is keeping to himself without talking out so his loved ones could take necessary actions.

I'm not even sure I want this to get to the front page, I only want honest and critical views
.
if you are ready to cheat in a relationship or marriage be ready to end it ,this goes for both gender ,you guy messed up , that's y I advise ladies marry before you carry(belle) ,thank god u escape another baby mama tragedy
Re: Could This Be Ordinary??? Please Help With Your Advice by Nobody: 9:22pm On Nov 25, 2021
Airnigma:
Hello everyone...I'm in dire need of your critical and honest opinions. It is going to be a long read, I deeply apologize in advance.

My relationship of about four years ended a week ago and the circumstances surrounding the break up were highly unforeseen, everything happened too quickly.

So my boyfriend and I have been together for about four years, we were very intentional about each other. Our love was a very deep one, we connected on a lot of levels, shared mutual friends, I know his family and he knows some of mine and we hardly had issues save for the usual petty squabbles which we resolved ASAP.

But the whole trouble started less than 3 weeks ago. We had our usual conversations the Sunday preceeding the week everything went downhill, everything was absolutely well between us. By the following Monday evening, I tried reaching out to him to catch up on how his day went, he didn't answer his phone. I chatted him up but his response was very unlike him. I thought he was just stressed from work and would get back to himself in no time.

However, he failed to do as I expected and I became very worried and disturbed, this was already going to 2 weeks. I had to call him up one night and asked him to tell me what ever the problem is, I honestly felt he was going through some deep stuff. He later got in touch with me and promised to come by my place the next day so he could explain himself in person.

He came as promised, he appeared very gloomy and was far from his normal self. We got talking in his car, he kept saying he doesn't understand himself anymore and he messed up badly this time around.

He dropped the news that he had something with another girl in that space of less than two weeks. He said it was going to be an innocent hangout but he can't even tell how everything went down eventually, the girl later slept over at his place.
He broke down in tears, told me that he couldn't stand the guilt of what he did, didnt want to drag me into the mess and that was why he couldn't bring himself to talk to me or act like nothing happened.

There's a more disturbing side to what he later told me. He said he had what seemed like a spiritual attack in the middle of the night. Apparently, the girl was in the house when it happened (he stays in the house alone). According to him, the inverter in the house went off and he left the room where they were together to sleep in one of the sitting areas in the house because of heat. He was asleep when he sensed something very heavy and unusual, he opened his eyes and right in front of him was a dark, tall and hairy creature. The thing kept staring at him and he felt being drained, couldn't move or say a word till it walked away. He was completely scared, he summoned strength, stood up , ran into another room and made some frantic calls to their church priests and they prayed with him. He insisted it wasn't a dream, that he was wide awake when he saw what he saw. He also added that he looked into the room the girl was sleeping, she was still asleep and most likely didn't know what happened to him.

He told me he hasn't been himself since that experience and would genuinely not have told me anything but he has been really scared.
I got really worried at this point and had ask who the girl is. He finally opened up that he met her last year, they chatted for a while but they somehow lost contacts since last year, only for them to reconnect not too long ago this year, hence, the initial hangout. I asked how well he knows her but he broke down again and said he barely knows her, doesn't know her school or anything.

I was completely heartbroken and wondered how he could soil four years in less than 2 weeks. We cried together and he pleaded with me, that I have done nothing but loved and stood by him throughout the years.
At that point to be honest, I was pained but I was less concerned about the fact that he cheated on me, I was deeply scared and worried about the attack. He said he has been having some routine prayer sessions and he also asked me to pray with him in the car, I did pray for him with all of my heart. He thanked me profusely and burst into another heart-rending crying session. I had to console and encourage him, that he should try to draw closer to God this period and he is going to be fine again.

Since the night he told me everything, we've just been checking on each other and he said he's been indoor a lot since then and still can't sleep or stay alone in the dark.
Now to the very ending part of my tale, I asked him to come around my place last night. He came and whilst we were talking, his phone rang and he got out of the car to receive the call. He came back in to the car and again, his phone rang and he had to tell me the girl was the one calling. I became very livid and surprised that he's still in touch with her even after the whole attack episode cos we can't even tell where it came from.

I asked him to show me her name, he succumbed. My people, my boyfriend saved this girl's name and added kissing emojis. Something he never ever does, he is the type that saves every contact with their full name, including his siblings. Save for the nicknames he saved my number and his bro with, I hardly saw nicknames on his contact list talk less of adding emojis. I knew that was the height of it all and asked him how, he said it was the girl that took his phone and saved her number like that. I'm like, what? In a space of how many weeks and she's got that kinda control on you already?

I told him the action any right thinking person would have taken after the attack would be to, atleast keep away from her and even me cos who knows where it all came from. He said he tried cos he hasn't even been getting jobs since this whole thing started but the issue now is, the girl is claiming she's pregnant for him and has been all over him, professing love and all in the space of less than 3weeks. According to him, he has told just a friend apart from me..he hasn't informed any of his siblings and been keeping to himself, trying to figure how he got into all the mess.

I know my story doesn't add up But then, this guy is someone I can vouch for his integrity and bluntness, he'd never stoop so low and start telling all these scary lies just to do away with me. It costs him absolutely nothing to just tell me, he's done with us and walk away.

We knew we were completely done with each other last night and I'm just thankful that I didn't get myself into any mess with him, no bad feeling at all. I feel more of pity for him cos this incident could totally change the course of his life, he is a struggling young guy still trying to find his right footing in life. I'm more worried that he hasn't told his brother any of this, (they are pretty close but his bro doesn't stay in the country) more like he is shielding everything and dying in silence.

He betrayed my love for him and I'm moving on fine, albeit, hard. I just don't want a situation whereby the whole thing is beyond mere eyes and he is weak, he is keeping to himself without talking out so his loved ones could take necessary actions.

I'm not even sure I want this to get to the front page, I only want honest and critical views
.

...So that his loved ones could take necessary actions...(your words)

Lemme ask, are you not among his loved ones? That you are not dating someone does not mean you can't love them. Jesus loved us even when we are yet sinners. Don't leave him alone as you fear.. yes, you may not date him again, but save a soul. Your conscience will always prick you, should anything bad finally helps to him; who knows, it could turn to nightmare torment.

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Re: Could This Be Ordinary??? Please Help With Your Advice by Truvelisback(m): 10:55pm On Nov 25, 2021
The lady must have used Kayamanta abi na Makaranta on him.
Re: Could This Be Ordinary??? Please Help With Your Advice by Gaddafih001(m): 4:50am On Nov 26, 2021
Ishilove:

Sometimes these things no be clear eye
No be sometime,it’s all the time.
Re: Could This Be Ordinary??? Please Help With Your Advice by Oburu202: 5:19am On Nov 26, 2021
You should be happy he was honest at least. He could be leading you on for so long.
4 years is not just 4 days. It's not easy to stay with one person for that long. Someone mentioned how some girls are desperate. That's so true. That's what is happening here.

How could he enjoy you for 4 years and fall for a cheap girl? This shows that a guy can truly be dating and looking for his future wife. Same with girls too.

Relationships nowadays is a joke. Look at social media. You will see a lot of mess. Just the other day, some girl canceled her wedding because the dude got some kids.

More on, it's better now that you have no kids with him. I do believe he's tired of you. He wants something new. Sometimes it's not encouraging to date for long. Unless you are dating for fun and both parties is aware of it. Don't expect anything in any relationship unless you both are talking about marriage.

In this case, no marriage is in sight. He just enjoy the moment.

Sorry, that's just what's happening nowadays. Make sure you don't give another guy free pussy for another for years. Make sure it's leading to marriage.

Heart break is a monster. It will make you doubt every other guy.
Re: Could This Be Ordinary??? Please Help With Your Advice by Tessasset(f): 9:25am On Feb 14, 2022
Breakfast na your mate??
Re: Could This Be Ordinary??? Please Help With Your Advice by Mom007(f): 1:05pm On Feb 14, 2022
My dear lady and any other lady out there... Avoid long drawn out relationships. 4 years? Are u looking to get a bsc out of it? How many times have you had premarital sex in those 4yrs? Then he comes at u with this BS story so as to get you to dump him and he moves on guilt free... Let's even assume his lies are true, the best you can do is back off from that situation! Never sleep with him again lest whatever he is dealing with comes after you. Avoid premarital sex ladies, can't you get it? Shebi one lady was crying on NL this morning that the bf used her for rituals after 4 yrs relationship... I tot it was you sef until I read through your story.
You said you prayed with/for him... To which God? Let me tell you a very hard and uncomfortable truth, the only prayer God wants to hear from fornicators is a prayer of genuine repentance and acceptance of Christ as Savior! Any other prayer you are praying while living in sin is a very long tin! Be guided and take dressing.
Re: Could This Be Ordinary??? Please Help With Your Advice by Airnigma(f): 7:47pm On Feb 14, 2022
Mom007:
My dear lady and any other lady out there... Avoid long drawn out relationships. 4 years? Are u looking to get a bsc out of it? How many times have you had premarital sex in those 4yrs? Then he comes at u with this BS story so as to get you to dump him and he moves on guilt free... Let's even assume his lies are true, the best you can do is back off from that situation! Never sleep with him again lest whatever he is dealing with comes after you. Avoid premarital sex ladies, can't you get it? Shebi one lady was crying on NL this morning that the bf used her for rituals after 4 yrs relationship... I tot it was you sef until I read through your story.
You said you prayed with/for him... To which God? Let me tell you a very hard and uncomfortable truth, the only prayer God wants to hear from fornicators is a prayer of genuine repentance and acceptance of Christ as Savior! Any other prayer you are praying while living in sin is a very long tin! Be guided and take dressing.
I really appreciate your input ma'am...I have learnt from what happened and I'm working on becoming a better lady for myself.

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