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My Husband Is Frustrating Me. - Family (13) - Nairaland

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My To Be In-laws Are Frustrating Me / My Wife Is Frustrating My Life / My Husband Is Very Jealous Because I’m Beautiful – 16-year-old Housewife (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by frank950(m): 4:47pm On Dec 30, 2021
amnesty7:
Imagine! Oyinbo capitalist mentality. He never knows that the kids will definitely come with their own blessings. And who promises or guarantees him tomorrow?
He may have to raise the kids in his old age.

This is why we are where we are today.
Thinking that children is a blessing.

I know this might sound sensitive but Children ate actually liabilities in the strict sense of it. We just like the fact that we have them and the satisfaction that we were able to raise them well is overwhelming.

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by Raalsalghul: 4:57pm On Dec 30, 2021
Skyview01:
How do you hope to support a child with your income.
You earn 70k right now, are you able to work during pregnancy and after childbirth? That 70k may well vanish if unable to work after childbirth and then you again will mount unnecessary pressure on the guy financially.
Your husband na correct focused guy. You are lucky to have someone like him.

Honestly, I don't understand.

They want the young man to lose focus, his way and become mired in the matrix of never ending fatherhood responsibilities and pressures.

Money that would have been used to fund his self development will now be pumped into pampers, cerelac and natal affairs.

In the Op's mind, she has quickly calculated that their joint income of 170k will be enough without carrying out an impact assessment on how such biological venture would affect her side of the bargain.

Some also suggested that the man run the two together which I scoff at because it's virtually impossible. Both are highly demanding and cannot be done at the same time: it's either this or that.

At the end of the day, it's the young man I weep for because wicked plans has been hatched on this thread to Op on how she can go about her trickery which I'm sure she'll do. The result is that she'll derail the young man's future and as if that's not enough she'll be the first to question his manhood and frustrate him when he falters in any responsibility. We know the trend!

Let me kukuma weep on his behalf cos it's not fair.

4 Likes

Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by placeofallure(f): 5:13pm On Dec 30, 2021
Jidemoo:
Did you two not discuss about it before you got married to him?


You brought this straight out of my mouth.

Before marriage, check whether your hopes and aspirations align before you say I do. Very important!

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by bigiyaro(m): 5:19pm On Dec 30, 2021
Your husband has issues o, maybe he wants have 100 billion in his account before having children, his types are the 50 yrs olds with their first kid at 2 years old, oga will even be retired and tired before his first child finishes primary school... metcheewww, a 35 year old that's not married or willing to have kids get mental issues abeg
Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by Saintinoo(m): 5:23pm On Dec 30, 2021
Kolawole2130:
We have been married for 3 years now. We stay in a self contained apartment. He tries as much as possible to pay his bills while I support him too with paying the bills.

Since we married, anytime I talk about childbearing he gets angry. Like he may not talk to me for days. I will be the one to come and beg him later. He says his not ready to start bearing kids that he wants to have enough money to take care of the kids. He says he doesnt want his children to suffer.

I am so pissed off, I am 32 now and he is 35 and he earns 100k while I earn 70k. Is that not enough to raise a family. Plus age is not on my side he doesnt look like he will be ready in a year time again. Am already getting tired and people around me are getting married. No body can even talk to him. His mind is made up already.

The last fight we had he said i can go and divorce him if i cannot wait till he is ready. He is busy reading for professional exam instead of him to be thinking of how to produce seed. Professional exam that will last another 2 years. His family can't even talk to him. Am just frustrated already.
First of all, he pays the bills for the family not just bills.

please do not listen to these people that are hailing your husband as a focused man, he is 35 and you are 32, he should be ready to Atleast have one child, the problem, I think your husband was forced to get married by his family.

Try and make him understand that you need a child now, you can even agree to pay the child's bills, if that is what he is Afriad of, talk to him, make agreement, he is just ignorant, I don't see anything wrong with a family earning 170k having a child.

What if the money does not come after 10 years.
Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by Saintinoo(m): 5:27pm On Dec 30, 2021
[quote author=Fiscus105 post=108924010]


I fear who no fear you!

If she is ur daughter at 32 and married for 3 years , would you be comfortable with it?

If such girl left him b4 marriage and went for guy that ready for kids, you would be the first person to blame all ladies that they are useless.

Pinch urself with needle before pinching others OK.[/quote
Just the reply I was trying to give him, most of these guys replying OP are mostly kids or still in their early 20s, for God sake why would you marry a woman if you don't want kids.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by Gerrard59(m): 5:39pm On Dec 30, 2021
Kolawole2130:
We have been married for 3 years now. We stay in a self contained apartment. He tries as much as possible to pay his bills while I support him too with paying the bills.

Since we married, anytime I talk about childbearing he gets angry. Like he may not talk to me for days. I will be the one to come and beg him later. He says his not ready to start bearing kids that he wants to have enough money to take care of the kids. He says he doesnt want his children to suffer.

I am so pissed off, I am 32 now and he is 35 and he earns 100k while I earn 70k. Is that not enough to raise a family. Plus age is not on my side he doesnt look like he will be ready in a year time again. Am already getting tired and people around me are getting married. No body can even talk to him. His mind is made up already.

The last fight we had he said i can go and divorce him if i cannot wait till he is ready. He is busy reading for professional exam instead of him to be thinking of how to produce seed. Professional exam that will last another 2 years. His family can't even talk to him. Am just frustrated already.

You've been married for three years and you're 32, your husband isn't being fair to you. Look for someone who shares same ideals as he does and respect so much to talk sense to him. Procreate maximum two children, preferably twins, and he locks up forever.

Take it from Nairaland's Number One Advocate of Responsible Childbearing.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by BRATISLAVA: 5:46pm On Dec 30, 2021
MrBrownJay1:


you have a narrow minded view on the issue because you are focussing on the wrong things.... aka your desperate bodyclock etc
your man tells you he aint ready...so you can either WAIT with him or go find a man who has the same views as you... but dont try to change a man ..

But he should try to change her to not wanting children, right?

What is narrow-minded about her wanting a child at her age? Is it when she's 40 she should have a child? Is everyone a billionaire that there is a point to him keeping his wife in suspense for more than 3 years?

The kinds of advice on this forum... Do not try to change a man who is hiding his fertility issues or already secretly has a child outside so isn't concerned.

Divorce indeed.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by uthlaw: 5:46pm On Dec 30, 2021
egunna:
no point respecting him,if u cudnt respect my father by bringing him into ur talk,u can't now pretend to respect my grandfather.
but we don forget about the matter na!
Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by Zedwell: 5:49pm On Dec 30, 2021
amnesty7:
Imagine! Oyinbo capitalist mentality. He never knows that the kids will definitely come with their own blessings. And who promises or guarantees him tomorrow?
He may have to raise the kids in his old age.
If kids come with blessings, States with the highest birth rate should have the least poverty ratio.
Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by BRATISLAVA: 6:18pm On Dec 30, 2021
ogwuche4u:


Ogbeni which hospital? What nonsense are you talking here? Be careful how you talk. Your dad did not even spend up to 1k during your birth.

Guess Nigerians are in another phase, one in which they claim they need to make money to have children. People who didn't die from being raised on less than a dollar a day. Guess the important part of having healthy children when they have the strength to care for them is lost on them. They are on a new fad. As if children cause poverty. There are so many poverty stricken people with just one child or none at all. Even the rich people they know didn't deprive themselves of a family at a young age the way they act as if it's a must nowadays.

Before, their phase/fad was to impregnate their girlfriends before they could marry them. Another one was to owna car before marriage.

In each phase they later back track when they finally start thinking. Childishness.
Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by henry457: 6:40pm On Dec 30, 2021
To be honest,I can't advise you to stay or go because you are married. What God has join together let no man put asunder. But my suggestion is,kindly observe any day he is in good mood,call him and talk to him amicably, tell him your worries and why you feel getting children now will benefit the family. About him talking about been stable b4 having children,I don't support that because no one is sure of tomorrow. All you and ur husband need to do is to always pray to God to bless you both financial and etc. So you guys can have kids now why working on how to increase your financial status which I believe that is why he is studying for his professional exam. It is high time we Nigerian start engaging our self in business because working for our self is the only hope to financial freedom.
Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by Anosby: 7:12pm On Dec 30, 2021
He is not a very focused man, cos if he were, he will not b earning N100k p/m at 35yrs old. Also, if he truly believes he is going up, then he can have 1 child now to pacify his wife.
Beblessedbaba:
I so much like your husband. A very sensible man; you want to bring children into the world without proper planning on how to cater for them.

He has asked for patience for you guys to sort things out first. Madam better be calming down. By the way, you married a very focused and responsible man.

I do not understand what you mean that age is not on your side at 32. Please don't plunge this young man into 3rd level generational poverty (his parents got nada & his grandparents were peasant) rather divorce him quickly and marry a man who is ready to be popping children year in year out. Pity his ancestors as this young man out of the millions that we have has taken a better route instead of ritualism called Yahoo or scam that will still end of messing his later years up or cut down his life in it's prime or mortgage his children fortune.

NB: Do we even wonder why the Babalawo or Dibia that does juju or fetish rituals for Yahoo boys does not do likewise for his own children or himself. The answer is flowing in the wind.
Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by AutoChick4U(f): 7:24pm On Dec 30, 2021
duduade:
you earn 70k.. and you are not working on how to improve on yourself to earn more.. no desire to live a better life... your only desire is to be pooping children out abi...

Aunty u are the one frustrating yourself
wicked soul.
Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by AutoChick4U(f): 7:26pm On Dec 30, 2021
Anosby:
He is not a very focused man, cos if he were, he will not b earning N100k p/m at 35yrs old. Also, if he truly believes he is going up, then he can have 1 child now to pacify his wife.
The man is sterile and a wicked sterile man at that. Did he discuss with the woman that they'd wait for more than 3 years before conceiving?
Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by MrMacinterchi1: 7:29pm On Dec 30, 2021
Kolawole2130:
We have been married for 3 years now. We stay in a self contained apartment. He tries as much as possible to pay his bills while I support him too with paying the bills.

Since we married, anytime I talk about childbearing he gets angry. Like he may not talk to me for days. I will be the one to come and beg him later. He says his not ready to start bearing kids that he wants to have enough money to take care of the kids. He says he doesnt want his children to suffer.

I am so pissed off, I am 32 now and he is 35 and he earns 100k while I earn 70k. Is that not enough to raise a family. Plus age is not on my side he doesnt look like he will be ready in a year time again. Am already getting tired and people around me are getting married. No body can even talk to him. His mind is made up already.

The last fight we had he said i can go and divorce him if i cannot wait till he is ready. He is busy reading for professional exam instead of him to be thinking of how to produce seed. Professional exam that will last another 2 years. His family can't even talk to him. Am just frustrated already.
don't listen to those tell you that your husband is a focused and responsible man and all that nonsense. There's no sense in what he is doing. Is it when he get to 40 years that he would start making babies after when he has been married for 10 years? That's madness.

You have to get serious with the discussion with him. Involve families if necessary. If it's really about finance, your salaries can take care of a child (at least) for now . it's about planning.

Goddamitt!
I fear he is hiding something sensitive from you.
are you guys active sexually ABI, he is not ready for that too?
Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by samdaisi: 7:32pm On Dec 30, 2021
you have a narrow minded view on the issue because you are focussing on the wrong things.... aka your desperate bodyclock etc
your man tells you he aint ready...so you can either WAIT with him or go find a man who has the same views as you...but dont try to change a man..
Why did the man enter into marriage contract with the woman, why he couldn't wait till he is done with professional course b4 going into marriage when child/children bearing is not his priority,
Domestic madness/village altar is at work, who told him that after the professional course he would secure the one better than the one he does now.
That nan needs serious deliverance I recomind him to 7 day dry fasting in M F M free of charge
Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by Emdebby2: 8:18pm On Dec 30, 2021
What is the essence of marriage without procreation? If he knew he wasn't ready for children he shouldn't have entered the marriage in the first place. Your salaries combined together can start off with one child until he's fully ready. But don't go against his wish because it seems he's ready to divorce you if you get pregnant. Let his family know about this.
Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by Emmanuel909090: 8:32pm On Dec 30, 2021
He is a selfish man, 100k plus your 70k is enough to manage a home, he would have remained single rather than getting married yet, abi he married you to be cooking for him?
Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by Hotspotbro(m): 8:39pm On Dec 30, 2021
oldienavie:
A lot of terrible advise on this thread, this is a 32 year old woman and it is perfectly within her right to demand for pregnancy. What a selfish and wicked being.
It is unfortunate that OP is in this terrible situation, did you not discuss about this before getting married ?
What exactly were you guys discussing during your courtship ?
let her go get some gbola-han from outside then, husband said he doesn't have the resources to take care of kids, you're spewing bullpiss
Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by Nobody: 9:12pm On Dec 30, 2021
He shouldn't have gotten married in the first place since he's not ready to give birth to children,did he even know the trauma the wife will be passing through in the hands of people around her ,after wedding people will be expecting kids from the couples .
Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by chapwiz(m): 9:39pm On Dec 30, 2021
With both you Salary it can take care of a child so the excuse of him saying he want to make more money is not adding up to me. Maybe he should come up with better excuses. Is he is not ready to bear child or children why did he get married? He should have continued with his co-abitating aka boyfriend and girlfriend. Or his having fertility issue?
Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by frozen70(f): 10:34pm On Dec 30, 2021
Kolawole2130:
We have been married for 3 years now. We stay in a self contained apartment. He tries as much as possible to pay his bills while I support him too with paying the bills.

Since we married, anytime I talk about childbearing he gets angry. Like he may not talk to me for days. I will be the one to come and beg him later. He says his not ready to start bearing kids that he wants to have enough money to take care of the kids. He says he doesnt want his children to suffer.

I am so pissed off, I am 32 now and he is 35 and he earns 100k while I earn 70k. Is that not enough to raise a family. Plus age is not on my side he doesnt look like he will be ready in a year time again. Am already getting tired and people around me are getting married. No body can even talk to him. His mind is made up already.

The last fight we had he said i can go and divorce him if i cannot wait till he is ready. He is busy reading for professional exam instead of him to be thinking of how to produce seed. Professional exam that will last another 2 years. His family can't even talk to him. Am just frustrated already.

You know his character before getting married to him so what he is doing is not new to you and his family

My question now is, do you need his consent to get pregnant or he monitors your ovulation cycle
Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by COOL10(m): 10:42pm On Dec 30, 2021
You selfish bastard. Your husband is being reasonable but all you can think about is your age and how other people are getting married. Idiot. It's irresponsible people like you who are to blame for the poor children on the streets. God will judge you.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by Baye07: 7:40am On Dec 31, 2021
It's sad to see people insulting this lady and hailing the husband. Have u asked yourself whether or not he told her before marriage that he won't be ready to try for kids 3years after marriage??

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by mechanics(m): 10:38am On Dec 31, 2021
UyaiIncomparabl:


That guy is very irresponsible. Go through his past comments, you'll see what I mean. He hates kids and women.
Okay, thanks.
Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by efficiencie(m): 11:31am On Dec 31, 2021
MrBrownJay1:


you have a narrow minded view on the issue because you are focussing on the wrong things.... aka your desperate bodyclock etc
your man tells you he aint ready...so you can either WAIT with him or go find a man who has the same views as you...but dont try to change a man..

The problem with this is that there is the risk that this woman may wait until she can't bear a child then when he finally makes it he will get another woman pregnant. @Kolawole2130 I will advise you to start a side business with your salary. In the two years that your husband will be working on his certification exams you should build wealth and be independent as an insurance policy. At the end of the 2 year period discuss with him his plans for children and inform him about the likely menopause date. If he has no plans or he just brushes it off again then it means your husband has ulterior motives and you need to escalate this in a family meeting.
Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by Nobody: 12:59pm On Dec 31, 2021
Don't be frustrsted, bid him his wish: divorce him na and marry whoever is ready to have Children.
Una too like wahala sef
Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by Treepower2000: 12:21pm On Jan 01, 2022
MrBrownJay1:


you have a narrow minded view on the issue because you are focussing on the wrong things.... aka your desperate bodyclock etc
your man tells you he aint ready...so you can either WAIT with him or go find a man who has the same views as you...but dont try to change a man..
It would have been easier for him to achieve his goal before getting married. I have the feeling he has something to hide. A man still struggling at 35 cannot be said to be focused. Infact he is not serious.
Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by Vision101(m): 1:05am On Jan 02, 2022
@Mariangeles
Your husband is deceiving, defrauding and emotionally manipulating you.
Shine your eyes and refused to be deceived.
I will not be surprised if he already has some kids stashed up somewhere.

Also, pay no attention to those deceivers up there.
They're enemies of marriage.
What if when he's finally ready, you find it difficult to conceive, what then?


@me
Smart and very smart comment. Absolute truth.

I'll add: is the engine working? If it is, can it produce good products? Or is it only bye products that it produces.
Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by StreetFight: 2:41pm On Jan 02, 2022
amnesty7:
Imagine! Oyinbo capitalist mentality. He never knows that the kids will definitely come with their own blessings. And who promises or guarantees him tomorrow?
He may have to raise the kids in his old age.

First idiot of the year 2022. Only he saw children born with baby food and diapers
Re: My Husband Is Frustrating Me. by StreetFight: 2:43pm On Jan 02, 2022
Emmanuel909090:
He is a selfish man, 100k plus your 70k is enough to manage a home, he would have remained single rather than getting married yet, abi he married you to be cooking for him?

Wretched fellow looking for companions

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