ednut1:
Nothing fun there in nigeria. To find love again will be hard, when konji hold you na small boys around you go dey nack in secret . Men and woman abeg let your marriage work

Most women have resorted in using vibratora n cucumbers, they are all masturbators

It's sad!

But as your monicker reads... I'll encourage you to be optimistic about your new status.

So, talking about the downsides (shame, mocking etc) you mentioned, I wouldn't know your particulars i.e age, level of education, profession etc, but if you have these things to your advantage, I'll suggest you consider checking out of the country to where you'll not have to suffer the scourge you fear.

May God take you up from where you were dropped off...

kansoboy:
Madam I have already been divorced long ago..since u have been saparated for months,

All I will tell u is this: is not goin to be easy for u have over 3 kids to take care of, if no kid or just one kid, then I can say ride on, but u see 3kids? U will be stressed out, forget about remarrying for a very long time, as most men that will come around u making adavances and telling u sweet things just only want to have sex with u an run.

If your family members are giving u mind to get on with the divorce process, remember that sooner or later those family members will start mking Mockery of u and Ur failed Marriage, then depression will set in for u.

Divorce is not easy for women worst of all woman with kids in this Africa cum NIGERIA.

My humble opinion, think it out well for the divorce process,
I would have said, if the problem is reconciliable, please go and reconcile, if it takes you to go and beg this so husband or go to his family, look for who he respect most and let the person go with you to beg him and reconcile.
That a man:
Cheats
Womanise
Sleep outside

Is not a enough reason to leave your marriage, because the next holy man u see out is going to still cheat.

If you are the sturborn type and believe the man can go to hell and u don't need husband......think again.
Arrive is all about sacrifice, as a mother or father(husband or wife) u must sacrifice every thing possible for the sake of your children.

However, you alone will face what ever that come after Ur divorce good or bad.

Do not compare Ur mairrage / divorce with d present yeyebrities that marry today and divorce tomorrow, and still marry again to divorce again...those ones are purely ashawos and okpoh they are into.

Goodluck

Omo na only you spit facts for here. But the "cheating, womanizing and sleeping outside is not enough reason to leave a man" dey do me one kind for body But truth be told, if it is something that can be settled, let sleeping dog lie.

NaWa4Lyf:
another foolish illiterate spotted

mybiz234:


Please, who told you this rubbish?

Religion takes away your spirituality. Making a false god to take away your sins ain’t going to save you. The universal law is Karma, and you must reap what you sow.

Trust me it's going to hard for now.
Just try to focus on your kids and whenever you need someone to chat up, Will be here

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Hathor5:


Divorce does not mean that the father will stop being a father.

Lie. When he marries another wife. What do you think will happen. Unless the man is Rich

Beg ur husband Pls... Except e dey always beat u... Why bring 3 innocent kids into dis world then divorce

vickydevoka:

UNLIMITED MERRIMENT. many women love this club

madone:
Just make sure u remarry. You will be fine . Keep urself beautiful

How can she remarry with 3 kids ...that will worsen the kids condition. After the divorce, the should do co-parenting ..with this arrangement, the kids will ve the presence of their father around them most of the times . They might even start fucking occasionally to see if miracle will happen back in their marriage . I once met a man that divorced the wife...two years later the still Bleep each other and the kids don't even know their parents ve issue .They where still fucking untill another belle enter ..one day the kids asked their mum ...how she got pregnant since their dad doesn't always sleep in the house . I know some of you gullible people would want to know the final story ...but unfortunately I am no longer giving it for free
Una go pay for it .

atarapa:
the person that own this nairaland is human being like you. Work hard and think outside the box.

Werey it’s all cruise don’t take it personal, don’t be annoyance, you sef Go and work hard. I have my own money. Waka pass

ednut1:
Nothing fun there in nigeria. To find love again will be hard, when konji hold you na small boys around you go dey nack in secret . Men and woman abeg let your marriage work

This is the Naked truth.

kokanepyramid:

She will never mention that. She wants us to bash the man. The experienced bitter divorce women like FERNANDEZISBACK are already doing that while welcoming her to their fold.
Misery loves company

You’re so right. Madam started the story from the middle. We don’t even know whose fault it is. Btw the way she thinks she’ll get the custody of the children is funny too. I suspect infidelity sha

MansoryMX:



One fact you should know is 95% of marriage worldwide are in tact because both partners decided to make that ultimate sacrifice to stick together when they shouldn’t be together anymore because of THIER KIDS. I will not ask you what lead to your husband serving you a divorce paper, I will not ask you who is at fault because there are always two side to a story. What I will advice you is you called the short one last time by having a sit and talk discussion with him if y’all really wanna go down that path or find that spark back!. I had a serious issue with my wife and separated for 6 months and got back, not like we both did anything outside during this 6 months (Me I didn’t on my own part though and I don’t know if she did even though I believed she didn’t because she is faithful, loyal but bitterly stubborn woman). 3 beautiful kids with any woman is enough reason for me to put up with her flaws for life and stick with her. My dear it’s a cruel world out there, try and fix this marriage if you can as a wife because of your kids!

Learning from you too

You will be fine. Move on with your life

You didn't tell us what led to such
And from your write-up you're not bothered about losing the man but the shame that comes with being divorced .

If you know there's something you're not doing right that pushed your man into filling for a divorce then you better work on it
So many men out there are looking for single or divorced women to fvck with drugs
If them use trams nack you or Fekomi , you go know say to be single na frustration.

Remember your kids won't have a fatherly figure like they used to, it will now be half way relationship
And before you find another man to marry you, Omo them go don fvck you tire.

Lights up my kpoli in peace

Well for me, the question that comes to mind is... WAS THE CAUSE OF THE DIVORCE YOUR FAULT? Because if it's, I then see why you make mentioned of SHAME and MOCKERY.

Another thing is, try and teach your kids how to love (I mean teach them that woman or man you'll one day wish you had as a spouse). Don't use your experience to bring them up. Because the truth is, that's what they'll grow up to be.

Lastly, in as much as you and your husband had differences, please and please don't shoot him out of the kid's life. It's very important.

I wish you all the best... Thanks

Spherical77:
The man would take full responsibility of the kids upkeep provided he owns them. The woman only needs to work and be supportive. Moreso, she needs to stand firm for the kids

You are really funny.
That means you have seen too many movies and believe that is reality..
Reality will shock you bitterly

MajesticKris:
DM me for Any Assistance you so desire... I'm based in Lagos.. Cute and Highly recommended..

What type of assistance are you talking about here?

redstaarx:


You’re so right. Madam started the story from the middle. We don’t even know whose fault it is. Btw the way she thinks she’ll get the custody of the children is funny too. I suspect infidelity sha

The scenario is she bleeped up and she knows( I don’t want to jump to infidelity though most likely) husband requested for space to think. Despite begging, husband didn’t reconsider. After several months she already knows divorce is inevitable.

If the man was at fault, say she left cos he beats her or she caught him cheating she would have mentioned it in her post.

davidadenrele:
Hello,
First of all i salute your courage for been able to come out and ask for advice, been a divorcee can be challenging for a woman in typical Nigerian society however i see you forging ahead since you are not afraid, you will have to work very hard let be honest having a kid is not that easy not to talk of 3kids, may I asked you did you request for child support in court while you filing for divorce through your lawyer because you will need child support from your kids father, it's either it's paid in weekly or monthly and its has to be something substaining for you and your kids.

Secondly you have to either work twice or get a business that will help you finance your kids financial burden without you being a burden to your friends and family at this moment Nigeria economy is not smiling at all, it's not easy out there trust me people will give assurance not worry that they will support you it's all a lie no one cares everybody is struggling to survive now in Nigeria. aside yahoo plus boys and ritualist, and politicians.

You will have to sit down a make a plan on how you intend to provide for your kids every month, your house rent, feeding, school fees, extra school needs, what kids of now are days can't do without like bobo, biscuits, sweets and stuffs. Let me be honest with you it's not going to be easy I know of a divorcee with kids it's not an easy task, but with God on your side you will be fine at the end. You will need support you will need assistance and you will your immediate family around you if it's only you it would have been better having to take care of kids in Nigeria of today is like climbing Mount Everest because of their excessive demands, they keep calling Mummy we want this we want that!! You have to be firm with your kids, at the same don't be too rigid and don't be too gentle when applying discipline where necessary at the same time montior them they could embrassed you if your not careful cos when they go hungry they could expose you unintentionally to your next neighbour cos at that moment what they cared about is there belly as its possible if you don't arrived from work in time for them to go and into your next neighbour house will not be a thing of shame to them afterall they have friends as next neighbour. Restrict them from collecting things from strangers, monitor them very well to avoid sexual pedophiles who could take advantage of no father figure in their lives. Provide quality to ensure they do their home work and take their studies seriously.

On a final note be you a Christian or Muslim ensure they observed prayers and good home moral training it's well with you.

Y must she take all the kids with her. Emeka Ike tooka all his kids and his a man. She should leave one for him. They can be visiting from tym to tym

abeniagbon:
Better guy no dey out there jare...if you have better work to take care of your children.... That mean you will have to forget konji for a very long time,some guy there are after fuckmate

she need to dey service her toto every month

obiekunie01:
hmmm.

How about living for Jesus Chris? Try it and you won't regret.

You no well. Eh sir è gbàdun. If you do not have anything meaningful to type, why not keep your itchy fingers off keypad.
If you don't know, your submission ridicules Christ. Is this what apostle paul or christ himself teaches about Divorce, Adultery, fornication and the likes?
So by your assumption, she hasn't been living for Christ all this while?

Èh Sir.. È gbádun....

Coming to social media and ask this kind of question shows you are delight in divorce which you don't know your faith

RPG2020:



Carry one of your brother give her since no big deal

There kids almost 10 years

If you don't gerrite forgerrite

Leave that one, her reply shows she is a baby mama, never married, so she doesn't understand what OP is trying to remedy.

(promiscuous life wey Dem rename to baby mama... E get name yoruba dey call such kids)..

You said......."You saw it coming" is it that you are not a good wife to your husband? A marriage that produced 3 kids; A man cannot just wake up and serve you divorce letter. There is something you did to man that you are yet to tell us. However, the Court will seek for your both consents if they should continue or you are still interested in the marriage, so advice you to settle with your husband
Cos it might not be easy with 3 kids under 10.

Bignuell:
Omo na only you spit facts for here. But the "cheating, womanizing and sleeping outside is not enough reason to leave a man" dey do me one kind for body But truth be told, if it is something that can be settled, let sleeping dog lie.

Yes is the truth...most times we blame our parents for not doing many things or having built mantions , but now I am married and have just only one wahala baby boy....it then done on me what my own parent have done to provide for 4 boys going up....some days I want to get mad at my wife, then my child will come in and start crying...I will swallow d pains and go out or just luck up, why? I want my child to be happy....so think of Ur children before divorce oo

Ehen heh..u that want to cheat, think of the cost implications (bear, pepper soup, human hair, extra bills, t .fair, hotel bills and condom bills) all this money and u never buy Pampers finish ooo.
Buhari still be president/economy hard ooh.
U garRIT?...if u don't garRIT, forget abouRIT. Loll

obiekunie01:
hmmm.

How about living for Jesus Chris? Try it and you won't regret.

The majority of suffering..

Dimwitted Nigerian Christians..

Can attest to that..

There's nothing to be ashamed about! It happens! Be optimistic... Life will turn out better!
However, for the sake of your sanity and your kids... Make sure you have a husband figure and a father figure for your kids... You'll be needing that...

If you're lucky to meet a single guy... Beautiful! If not...look for a widower or a divorcee and remarry or cohabit... Just make sure there's a man there for you!

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Dear OP,

Life would not be exactly the same again... but trust me - life can be better after divorce. You need to make up your mind you are going to be a better woman and mother after the divorce. That's the first thing - your mind! So, you need to be intentional.


Secondly, check your finances. How well were you doing with your finances during marriage? Do you make your own money? You must find a way to make your own money - and to increase it.


Thirdly, do not be unreasonably hard during the divorce proceedings. Prepare your mind to take the benefits you can take and just leave the rest. How? There is something called 'Maintenance' in divorce. There is another concept called Custody. Do not out of anger refuse any offer that would help you. The issue of maintenance is dependent on who has custody of the children. Did your husband ask the court for custody? If yes, it is not likely the court would grant custody of three children under 10 years to a man, except the man proves to the court that you are not 'responsible enough'

So, we can safely assume you will be granted custody of the children. Get as much money as possible for the maintenance of the children from the man. And dont let it be lumpsum.Let it be monthly, quarterly or yearly. As your husband become richer, it can be increased

Make sure the man undertakes to be responsible for the 'education of the children of the marriage'. Once you do this, a heavy load is lifted from your shoulders.

I repeat, don't walk away from offers/benefits - out of anger or bitterness

Also, don't try to keep the children away from their father. It would make the whole thing easier for you. If he wants to see them, allow him. It would make it easier for him to release money for their welfare.


On what people would say - don't give a damn! You would be better for it. Take care of yourself and your children.

If you need to relocate, don't be ashamed to beg him to help you with the rent.

I repeat, prepare to take care of your children and yourself. People will see it. And it would shut their mouths.


And don't forget to leave your heart open. Love may still come your way.


Peace!

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

You won't be divorced.

Give the marriage another push.

It will work!

God bless you.

Blakjewelry:

The most important question I will ask is, are you financially ok? If yes then you need not worry, it is phase and it pass. I think it will be even be easier in your case since you are both been separated for sometime. As what people will say! Forget about it, it's your life and no one will be there when the door is closed beside everyone got their own share of problem to deal with.

She needs not to be financially ok since it's the man who served her divorce notice. The man would definitely be responsible for the kids upkeep, education and whataview

She only needs to be financially ok for her wellbeing and support her kids. Especially if she doesn't plan to re-marry