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What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by QuickStandard: 1:31pm On Jan 10, 2022
CondemnBattery:
Hahaha haha, I do all that, my kids are 7 and 4yrs. I still bath them, clean their bumbum when they poop. There's nothing in that. As a matter of fact the only area I'm lazy, is doing domestic chores like cooking.
Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by jaxxy(m): 1:31pm On Jan 10, 2022
babyfaceafrica:
You are talking in the nansense here, you and who is doing gfs?

I’m doing a general comparison of men/boys and their gfs vs with their kids. If it when they have kids.
Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by VULCAN(m): 1:36pm On Jan 10, 2022
One of the things you should stop this year is being a contrarian for the joy of it without engaging in critical thinking.

The OPs piece is brilliant.

He took time to give a complete background, identified the problem correctly and gave wonderful solutions that can be expanded upon then you came along and exposed your utter inability to understand the post.

The statement about military men that are father's is so pointless-you imply that they never go home. One wonders how you came to that conclusion.

What's fascinating about your lack of comprehension is that OPs solution is designed to work perfectly for father's who are away from home often. How did you manage to miss that

As I read your piece I was sure you were a teenage girl but thankfully you identified yourself at the end.

Have a change of heart this year and engage in rational thinking before responding to issues.

Draslo:
You want to drag your kids' love with your wife or what?
What if you're a military man and you're never around?
What if you're an expat in another country and you no dey ever dey?
What if you're a sailor and your presence at home is nothing to write home about?
What if......?


I could go on and on. Just stop there and do what your duties are as a father and husband to your nuclear and the love will never die. Don't ever expect all your kids to love you equally but remember that no matter what they all love you unconditionally.


What do I know anyways? I'm just a single guy without any offspring yet so maybe I don't know what I'm saying.

1 Like

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by SeriouslySense(m): 1:37pm On Jan 10, 2022
and to build confident children I would like to understand, how the father should relate with his children, without striking fear and causing trauma or low self-esteem, I think it varies according to the personality of the child, so it's important to know what kind of child he has.

Yes yes, i hope to read some books on child psychology and the importance of the early years of children where the foundation of their personality is created.

descarado:

A lot.
The formative yrs of everybody is what makes up what they become in the future. You have finished training your child by 12 to 13 yrs.
The brain absorbs and store those FIRSTS which later stir the cause of one's life. That's why it's always careful to thread with caution when kids are around. If in the future, they encounter difficulty, they held on to that world they were brought up in where mum and dad showered them love unconditionally. It's a propeller
Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by SeriouslySense(m): 1:39pm On Jan 10, 2022
descarado:

A lot.
The formative yrs of everybody is what makes up what they become in the future. You have finished training your child by 12 to 13 yrs.
The brain absorbs and store those FIRSTS which later stir the cause of one's life. That's why it's always careful to thread with caution when kids are around. If in the future, they encounter difficulty, they held on to that world they were brought up in where mum and dad showered them love unconditionally. It's a propeller
Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by Karleb(m): 1:39pm On Jan 10, 2022
captainamiedi1:


shut the f**k up. if you don't kwn the story you ask questions. Nobody told me shit. i grew up to see it. i sold pure water in the holdup just to buy school uniform and books. i carry block and concrete just to buy basic things. i watch my mom do all sort of job just to provide food and pay school fees. i did farm work just to keep life moving. Nobody told me shit. in all these, baba never turn up he said he is not born to do all these kind of job. My mother and sibling fought so hard to break out of poverty. Thank God we did.

Don't mind them.

If a man lives home on Monday and comes back Friday night, how does that prove he is sacrificing for his family? Some men do hard labor but they don't even take proper care of their family.

Deadbeat moms exist quite alright but we have more irresponsible fathers. That's a fact! Most women would be with their kids through thick and thins but it's shameful that some men would take to their heels. I don’t even know where these men come from, so irresponsible and later on in life they'd wine like little children when their children prefer their mothers. Whereas, they chose other things over their family while they were younger.

Then they'll turn around to blame the woman for turning the children against them. Do you think children are fools?

4 Likes

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by otabaotaba: 1:45pm On Jan 10, 2022
Best thread of the year ahead

1 Like

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by Idumuje: 1:49pm On Jan 10, 2022
Draslo:
You want to drag your kids' love with your wife or what?
What if you're a military man and you're never around?
What if you're an expat in another country and you no dey ever dey?
What if you're a sailor and your presence at home is nothing to write home about?
What if......?


I could go on and on. Just stop there and do what your duties are as a father and husband to your nuclear and the love will never die. Don't ever expect all your kids to love you equally but remember that no matter what they all love you unconditionally.


What do I know anyways? I'm just a single guy without any offspring yet so maybe I don't know what I'm saying.
You are missing the OPs point. Whenever you are around, be present in ways that will enable them value your contributions more. Women can be manipulative, intentional or otherwise

1 Like

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by sweetkev(m): 1:50pm On Jan 10, 2022
Antoeni:
We will continue to safeguard the lives and property of Nigerians, so help us God!

~SAYS NIGERIA POLICE
Antoeni, is this ass for real ? shocked
Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by Feelings79: 1:51pm On Jan 10, 2022
Kingpele:
Hahaha ,well am a man with kids ,if u don't want to have problems with your family members try to show real love to your wife and be faithful to her,especially during the early years of your marriage before she start to make her own money or before the kids grow up into Adults,she will be the person promoting you before your kids behind your back, because a woman can never talk ill of the real love of her life ,I travel to village for meetings and community elections for two weeks when I came back i saw that my kids really missed me cos my wife missed me ,out of the blues my second boy said to me u are the best dad in the world, I knew my wife taught him to say that while I was away ,so love your wife and take care of her needs according to your capacity u will have a peaceful life and your kids will love you and take care of you in your old age..
While this is true,it comes to a point where it's not just about love but mostly about home politics.From my observation of your situation,yours is still a much younger family and marriage.In my case,my first son is a university graduate,my second halfway through high school.It's a twenty four years marriage anyway.Meanwhile,my wife is now,on her own, economically successful.Women at this stage becomes very difficult to "love" since a woman's understanding of love is your ability to provide her what she can't provide for herself.Now that she's able to stand on her own, it's not no longer about love but the real home politics and I'm now seeing my wife in her true colors and how much a woman can be manipulative of the her kids

1 Like

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by TUTU147: 1:52pm On Jan 10, 2022
My own is that I always tell my wife to let the children know I am the one giving her money to run the house,my Ada is so smart that she will call me and say thank daddy for giving mommy money to buy this and that for me.Some women are very wicked and manipulative.
Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by Karleb(m): 1:53pm On Jan 10, 2022
Saturn444:
I don't give a shit about kids love. I will discipline them and if they love their mother better, so what?

Bros, God bless you.
Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by Draslo(m): 1:54pm On Jan 10, 2022
VULCAN:
One of the things you should stop this year is being a contrarian for the joy of it without engaging in critical thinking.

The OPs piece is brilliant.

He took time to give a complete background, identified the problem correctly and gave wonderful solutions that can be expanded upon then you came along and exposed your utter inability to understand the post.

The statement about military men that are father's is so pointless-you imply that they never go home. One wonders how you came to that conclusion.

What's fascinating about your lack of comprehension is that OPs solution is designed to work perfectly for father's who are away from home often. How did you manage to miss that

As I read your piece I was sure you were a teenage girl but thankfully you identified yourself at the end.

Have a change of heart this year and engage in rational thinking before responding to issues.

I have absolutely not missed the point. I'm not arguing that the OP's piece is brilliant but me, I tend to read even between the lines. You should try to do that this year too. You can't buy love, you earn it.

1 Like

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by Antoeni(m): 1:54pm On Jan 10, 2022
If you Ask me , na who I go Ask?
sweetkev:
Antoeni, is this ass for real ? shocked
Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by Solofresh2: 1:55pm On Jan 10, 2022
Kingpele:
Hahaha ,well am a man with kids ,if u don't want to have problems with your family members try to show real love to your wife and be faithful to her,especially during the early years of your marriage before she start to make her own money or before the kids grow up into Adults,she will be the person promoting you before your kids behind your back, because a woman can never talk ill of the real love of her life ,I travel to village for meetings and community elections for two weeks when I came back i saw that my kids really missed me cos my wife missed me ,out of the blues my second boy said to me u are the best dad in the world, I knew my wife taught him to say that while I was away ,so love your wife and take care of her needs according to your capacity u will have a peaceful life and your kids will love you and take care of you in your old age..
And what if she doesn't love you in return
The fact that you have a good wife doesn't mean all women are good or all women will love their man when he provides .
There are some women that no matter what you do for them they will never be contented.So as a wise man, you can only do your best and leave the rest.I can't please you all the time because you are my wife.I can only do my best and if you are not contented, you can as well leave my house.
Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by oshikes(m): 1:55pm On Jan 10, 2022
Kingpele:
Hahaha ,well am a man with kids ,if u don't want to have problems with your family members try to show real love to your wife and be faithful to her,especially during the early years of your marriage before she start to make her own money or before the kids grow up into Adults,she will be the person promoting you before your kids behind your back, because a woman can never talk ill of the real love of her life ,I travel to village for meetings and community elections for two weeks when I came back i saw that my kids really missed me cos my wife missed me ,out of the blues my second boy said to me u are the best dad in the world, I knew my wife taught him to say that while I was away ,so love your wife and take care of her needs according to your capacity u will have a peaceful life and your kids will love you and take care of you in your old age..
U just spoke my mind boss. Love Is the major ingredient in a family. When love is the overwhelming factor in a family, other things will surely fall in place. I believe when a man loves his wife and take care of her needs and that of the kids, such love is reciprocated back to him even in old age. We men should always learn to put our nuclear family first all times.
Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by OlawaleBammie: 1:56pm On Jan 10, 2022
Ladyhippolyta88:


Exactly,it is isn't always about the money but the quality time,love and affection the father gives to their kids that this children will remember more than the gifts they were given.
The values they instilled and their outlook on life also matters too because our children learn from us unconsciously.
una no dey ever comprehend, and una don old ooh

Who is saying everything is about money money money here??
Did the op said everything is about money??
Even those who contributed are not attributing everything to money

Make u and that one ( sterope ) rest small jare

1 Like

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by cococandy(f): 1:57pm On Jan 10, 2022
They’ve managed to turn a thread about loving their kids more into a wife and woman bashing thread

Y’all not ready

2 Likes

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by dingbang(m): 1:58pm On Jan 10, 2022
Mummy goes to wedding and brings rice and cake home for the children.


cheesy

Mum 1 dad 0

2 Likes

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by Chuksmonika(m): 2:02pm On Jan 10, 2022
That's not me sha. Whatever I plan to give to my parents, I share it 50/50


Because it's clear to me how both of them struggled to provide for me and my siblings.

1 Like

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by UncleKoboko: 2:02pm On Jan 10, 2022
[s]
Kingpele:
Hahaha ,well am a man with kids ,if u don't want to have problems with your family members try to show real love to your wife and be faithful to her,especially during the early years of your marriage before she start to make her own money or before the kids grow up into Adults,she will be the person promoting you before your kids behind your back, because a woman can never talk ill of the real love of her life ,I travel to village for meetings and community elections for two weeks when I came back i saw that my kids really missed me cos my wife missed me ,out of the blues my second boy said to me u are the best dad in the world, I knew my wife taught him to say that while I was away ,so love your wife and take care of her needs according to your capacity u will have a peaceful life and your kids will love you and take care of you in your old age..
[/s]
Trash
Most women only know and care about what you're doing for them NOW!
WHAT YOU DID YESTERDAY IS NOT IMPORTANT...
KNOW THIS AND KNOW PEACE.

Stop deceiving yourself.

2 Likes

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by MaverickA3: 2:03pm On Jan 10, 2022
To some extent, I agree with this. But when the children reach adulthood or adolescence, you can't hide the truth from them.
Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by neonly: 2:04pm On Jan 10, 2022
jaxxy:
Very funny. A man should take his children out to buy clothes. Why? What’s wrong with the wife doing it??

There are other ways to show ur affection and care to ur children. It goes beyond buying this or that. It’s about spending time and having right discussions, connecting and bonding.

They already know u pay the school fees and rents and all that and that doesn’t guarantee a good relationship with ur kids.

And what wrong taking yur kids to d market to buy things
Don't u know dis make d kids more confident
One-day then I went out with my boys took public bus I ask them to sit seperatly one of them told me daddy I like u if it was der mum she will ask them to lap themselves
Visit my post u will see dat if u spend more time with yur children they become confident in d society
Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by UncleKoboko: 2:05pm On Jan 10, 2022
Sterope:
Lmao. Money doesn't make you likeable if you are a terrible father.
Your mind seem messed up...
Were you raised by a single mom?
Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by Benzemma(m): 2:07pm On Jan 10, 2022
Just love your wife as a man. Don't shout at her or quarrel with her in their presence, children tends to be more close to the weaker parent in the family, and see the other as been too harsh.

Children are happy when there is love between their parents and they will grow and become proud of them.
I know some of my fellow men will not agree with me, but if you try this, you will not regret it.

4 Likes

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by victorazy(m): 2:07pm On Jan 10, 2022
Sterope:
Lmao. Money doesn't make you likeable if you are a terrible father.

You missed the point.

So we have 100% non terrible women in the world? Your such insensitive baby love.
Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by gly(m): 2:07pm On Jan 10, 2022
Limassol:
The author of this post is mistaken in thinking children can easily be manipulated and misled, hardly, not when they are adults and grown ups... with time one could easily realise who is who. A nasty mother can't mask her nastiness, same for the father.

This is the real facts!
Some of the points raised by OP are creating platform for hypocrisy.
My advice to parents is for us to be ourselves in dealing with issues of our home.
Kids generally have higher inclination towards daddy's mode of disciplinary approach (of being a hard one) by virtue of the way men are wired.
Playing politics with yourself (your kids and wife being your product and property), to yourself and by yourself to me implies misnormal!!!

Regards

3 Likes

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by LordReed(m): 2:08pm On Jan 10, 2022
CondemnBattery:
So I saw a thread earlier, and decided to educate husbands in the house how to play the home politics, just as adviced by my pastor's wife.

My pastor's wife thought me a valuable lesson. She legitly told us to be smart as husbands, when the kids did something wrong in your absence and your wife did not discipline the child, but waits for you to come back and discipline them, don't. Make sure she disciplines them herself, otherwise your kids will think you are the wicked one and the evil one.

Don't always give your wife all the money to buy things for the kids, take the children out to the market, buy them clothes, take them to the grocery store, buy the provision in their present. Let them know you are the one buying them. If you buy them shoes or anything, make sure they are aware that you are the one buying them. If you do all these, the kids will love you more. This is 2022, don't allow your wife rob you of your years of labor when it's time to reap.

You can add your own way of playing the family politics.

Please if this is front page worthy, kindly move to fp, so men can learn 1 or 2 this new year.

May our wives not take all our glory all in the name of I'm too busy in Jesus name. Amen

How about you discipline the child jointly instead of leaving it to one person? When a child does something wrong it behoves the parent to provide guidance and correction with or without the other parent but it is better when both parents do it because it reinforces the lesson. If you let only one parent do it the child will begin to assume that the other parent has opposing view but is keeping silent and so the child will seek ways to take advantage of that. You'll notice when you tell your child no in the absence of your spouse they'll go and speak to the other parent to try to get that failed request. It is the same with discipline, you'll start hearing stuff like mummy let's me do it, daddy let's me go there. These kinds of situations should be avoided or else you will breed an unstable child.

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Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by coolhumble(m): 2:09pm On Jan 10, 2022
To those who commented otherwise can you please take the point and learn one or two from this? OP I salute you for this piece you shared today. You don't know what you have done for so many men who will from this day change their perception about their fathers.

I was already about 30 years of age before I understood what it means to be a man. I had to call my dad to come over to my place in lagos for the first time and we did shopping for him, made him drink his favourite and even joked about giving him a girl to keep his company. I had serious hatred for him due to what I learnt from my mom and some that he did that I know of but then when I grew up I realised what it takes to be a man and I made up with my wonderful father. He died 2013 which I still cry about almost everyday because I never fulfilled all my promises to him.

1 Like

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by Awise09(m): 2:10pm On Jan 10, 2022
CondemnBattery:
So I saw a thread earlier, and decided to educate husbands in the house how to play the home politics, just as adviced by my pastor's wife.

My pastor's wife thought me a valuable lesson. She legitly told us to be smart as husbands, when the kids did something wrong in your absence and your wife did not discipline the child, but waits for you to come back and discipline them, don't. Make sure she disciplines them herself, otherwise your kids will think you are the wicked one and the evil one.

Don't always give your wife all the money to buy things for the kids, take the children out to the market, buy them clothes, take them to the grocery store, buy the provision in their present. Let them know you are the one buying them. If you buy them shoes or anything, make sure they are aware that you are the one buying them. If you do all these, the kids will love you more. This is 2022, don't allow your wife rob you of your years of labor when it's time to reap.

You can add your own way of playing the family politics.

Please if this is front page worthy, kindly move to fp, so men can learn 1 or 2 this new year.

May our wives not take all our glory all in the name of I'm too busy in Jesus name. Amen
Kai this remind me of Yoruba movie I watch last year, the women turned the children towards their father, this man suffered but when the children discovered how their father suffered for money to take care of them they were shock to their bone marrow.
Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by Jim99: 2:10pm On Jan 10, 2022
cococandy:
They’ve managed to turn a thread about loving their kids more into a wife and woman bashing thread

Y’all not ready

Of course it's gonna sound like bashing to you, because you're guilty of it. Just like 99% of mothers are.

It's a good thing y'all are being exposed.

@Codemnbattery i commend you for this post but don't stop here. Take it to Twitter, reddit and the others. We need more men seeing this.
Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by zomby(m): 2:15pm On Jan 10, 2022
CondemnBattery:
So I saw a thread earlier, and decided to educate husbands in the house how to play the home politics, just as adviced by my pastor's wife.

My pastor's wife thought me a valuable lesson. She legitly told us to be smart as husbands, when the kids did something wrong in your absence and your wife did not discipline the child, but waits for you to come back and discipline them, don't. Make sure she disciplines them herself, otherwise your kids will think you are the wicked one and the evil one.

Don't always give your wife all the money to buy things for the kids, take the children out to the market, buy them clothes, take them to the grocery store, buy the provision in their present. Let them know you are the one buying them. If you buy them shoes or anything, make sure they are aware that you are the one buying them. If you do all these, the kids will love you more. This is 2022, don't allow your wife rob you of your years of labor when it's time to reap.

You can add your own way of playing the family politics.

Please if this is front page worthy, kindly move to fp, so men can learn 1 or 2 this new year.

May our wives not take all our glory all in the name of I'm too busy in Jesus name. Amen

I do not believe that buying your kids clothes, provision, shoes etc is the solution.
It shouldn't be a competition between you and your wife, as the kids are very smart and can easily detect this method of operation, which can backfire.
If you want your kids to love you, try the following things and I promise you that nobody would rob you of your years of labor when its time to reap.
1. Allow your kids to see you as their friend.
2. Instead of constantly barking at them, try to have a conversation with them. Allow them to introduce what is on their mind and always listen.
3. Let them know that their view of things or opinion may not always correct, but very important
4. Let them know that you trust them when it comes to making the right decision when you're not there to support them
5. Spend time with them as much as possible (go on a trip/ vacation, go fishing or take them out to checkout a new movie, take them out to their favorite restaurant)
6. From time to time allow them to guard you in making certain decision (eg: let your daughter pick the color of your tie or shirt, allow your son to choose the color of your car)
7. Always tell them that you love them (make it a common practice to kiss them on their foreheads)
8. Randomly send them text messages to check up on them
9. Give them a complete support in whatever they choose to do (when it comes to career)
10. Give them the assurance that you have their back forever and ever.
And finally, always pray to God to bless you by making your children bigger and better than you.

In my book, all that buying material stuff doesn't always work (a typical confused Nigerian mind) . I know a multimillionaire children that got everything they have from dad, but still hate the man like human shiit.

It is well.

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