What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less - Family (6)

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What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by captainamiedi1: 2:17pm On Jan 10, 2022

Karleb:

Don't mind them.

If a man lives home on Monday and comes back Friday night, how does that prove he is sacrificing for his family? Some men do hard labor but they don't even take proper care of their family.

Deadbeat moms exist quite alright but we have more irresponsible fathers. That's a fact! Most women would be with their kids through thick and thins but it's shameful that some men would take to their heels. I don’t even know where these men come from, so irresponsible and later on in life they'd wine like little children when their children prefer their mothers. Whereas, they chose other things over their family while they were younger.

Then they'll turn around to blame the woman for turning the children against them. Do you think children are fools?

You are right. The woman went tru alot. i grew up watching my dad steal my mom's money. He beats up my mom and heap all his misfortune on her. He goes about looking for hardworking women to feed him. In all these mom still remain simply because he wants to stay for her children. when we are all grown, we had to separate them because of the physical assault she get from the man. I am still angry with him. i haven't set my eyes on him for 2 years now. we only talk on phone once once. he is too shy to ask for for anything.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by LoverJoe89: 2:18pm On Jan 10, 2022

I aint leaving no woman to discipline my child if he/she errs. Any Bleep up will make me unleash the rod of correction on any child who doesnt comply.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by faste: 2:22pm On Jan 10, 2022

SeriouslySense:
and to build confident children I would like to understand, how the father should relate with his children, without striking fear and causing trauma or low self-esteem, I think it varies according to the personality of the child, so it's important to know what kind of child he has.

My father was very guilty of this,anytime he comes home everyone look for where to hide.Little wonder we did not have relationship!!

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by jaxxy(m): 2:22pm On Jan 10, 2022

neonly:

And what wrong taking yur kids to d market to buy things
Don't u know dis make d kids more confident
One-day then I went out with my boys took public bus I ask them to sit seperatly one of them told me daddy I like u if it was der mum she will ask them to lap themselves
Visit my post u will see dat if u spend more time with yur children they become confident in d society

Ur last paragraph corresponds with my second paragraph. U only pick out a single part of what I said and left out the others.

There is nothing wrong with buying clothes for ur kids or taking them out to buy clothes bt men don’t do much of that for even themselves unlike like women thats why I said so cos kids buys clothes often as they grow. The man can only do it few times, the woman will still do it more.

When u took ur kids out u spent time with them and that’s the part I was asking them to pay more attention to not just thinking it’s about the act of shopping itself.

U can buy things for Sm1 and there still no real relationship at the end of the day.

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by Benzemma(m): 2:25pm On Jan 10, 2022

Kingpele:
Hahaha ,well am a man with kids ,if u don't want to have problems with your family members try to show real love to your wife and be faithful to her,especially during the early years of your marriage before she start to make her own money or before the kids grow up into Adults,she will be the person promoting you before your kids behind your back, because a woman can never talk ill of the real love of her life ,I travel to village for meetings and community elections for two weeks when I came back i saw that my kids really missed me cos my wife missed me ,out of the blues my second boy said to me u are the best dad in the world, I knew my wife taught him to say that while I was away ,so love your wife and take care of her needs according to your capacity u will have a peaceful life and your kids will love you and take care of you in your old age..

Exactly bro, if my dad had loved my mum and stop seeing her as unimportant to the family right from when we were small, he wouldn't be thinking and saying that my mom took us away from him and none of us like him, which is not true. What you said is true, but ego as been the head, will not allow us apply that simple method.

Children always look out to the soft parent in the family, be it the father or the mother.
And they always grow with that childhood perception.

So if you as a father or mother but fathers especially, make yourself a phero in the family, making your wife to cry like a kid, just know that you are giving your children
a reason to hate you and begin to distance themselves from you, if you continue like that till they grew up as an adult.

4 Likes

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by WayStage(m): 2:25pm On Jan 10, 2022

OP, pls can I use these your points for a *social experiment*? It's gonna be documented... How do I reach you pls?

CondemnBattery:
So I saw a thread earlier, and decided to educate husbands in the house how to play the home politics, just as adviced by my pastor's wife.

My pastor's wife thought me a valuable lesson. She legitly told us to be smart as husbands, when the kids did something wrong in your absence and your wife did not discipline the child, but waits for you to come back and discipline them, don't. Make sure she disciplines them herself, otherwise your kids will think you are the wicked one and the evil one.

Don't always give your wife all the money to buy things for the kids, take the children out to the market, buy them clothes, take them to the grocery store, buy the provision in their present. Let them know you are the one buying them. If you buy them shoes or anything, make sure they are aware that you are the one buying them. If you do all these, the kids will love you more. This is 2022, don't allow your wife rob you of your years of labor when it's time to reap.

You can add your own way of playing the family politics.

Please if this is front page worthy, kindly move to fp, so men can learn 1 or 2 this new year.

May our wives not take all our glory all in the name of I'm too busy in Jesus name. Amen

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by Viserion: 2:27pm On Jan 10, 2022

CondemnBattery:
I wish I could give you more likes. You have spoken like a real man that was both a child and is a husband

that's good to know but my dad is late and only mum has been there for me..

But I'll remember this post to teach my kids to remember me

1 Like

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by cococandy(f): 2:29pm On Jan 10, 2022

The funny thing is that what OP is saying is one the core messages I always preach to guys on here.
-Be more involved with your kids
-Be hands-on fathers
-Being a father is more than bringing money
-making time for your children to form bonds and attachment is important for their development development

Do you know the kinds of responses I get when I say that?

“Oh these evil feminists want to emasculate men and ruin the divine order of nature by promoting feminine features in men. They want to destroy the family unit. Men and women are not the same. Roles are different we are Africans”. You name it. I’ve heard it.

But now OP is saying the same thing but framing it to talk negatively about women, y’all are buying into the message.
Could it be that you don’t really care about loving your children as much as you care about making your women out to be the enemies??

Ponder on that.

Jim99:

Of course it's gonna sound like bashing to you, because you're guilty of it. Just like 99% of mothers are.

It's a good thing y'all are being exposed.

@Codemnbattery i commend you for this post but don't stop here. Take it to Twitter, reddit and the others. We need more men seeing this.

3 Likes

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by lordally(m): 2:30pm On Jan 10, 2022

CondemnBattery:
I wish I could give you more likes. You have spoken like a real man that was both a child and is a husband

Please how did you carry this man's comment from a different thread to your own... I've been trying to do this but I haven't been able to do so

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by Karleb(m): 2:32pm On Jan 10, 2022

Awise09:
Kai this remind me of Yoruba movie I watch last year, the women turned the children towards their father, this man suffered but when the children discovered how their father suffered for money to take care of them they were shock to their bone marrow.

The only place you guys get this turning them against their children is nollywood.

If only it was that easy, my cousin would not have hated her mother you have been taking care of him since his father died since his father died close to 20 years now but he told me categorically that he loves his late dad more.

Nollywood and reality are very different.

2 Likes

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by descarado: 2:33pm On Jan 10, 2022

SeriouslySense:
and to build confident children I would like to understand, how the father should relate with his children, without striking fear and causing trauma or low self-esteem, I think it varies according to the personality of the child, so it's important to know what kind of child he has.

Yes yes, i hope to read some books on child psychology and the importance of the early years of children where the foundation of their personality is created.

You treat each child differently. Even identical twins differs. Surprised to see a guy( assumed) interested in this topic.
I applaud you.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by cococandy(f): 2:35pm On Jan 10, 2022

Yes men can do all that too.
Unless the baby is exclusively breastfed, men can feed in addition to everything else you mentioned. And even more.
That’s how to build the relationship. Children don’t wake up all of sudden and prefer one parent. It starts from infancy and who they knew they could depend on to take care of them.

Fridaya30:
Bath them too , pack the pups, replace the pampers, breastfeed the baby, pamper ham if na cry the baby Dey cry, be there always to attend to the baby’s needs �.
Abeg find another thing talk about. U think say e easy to be a mother. I be man o. Before u come replying yin yin yan yan yan

3 Likes

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by Jim99: 2:36pm On Jan 10, 2022

cococandy:
The funny thing is that what OP is saying is one the core messages I always preach to guys on here.
-Be more involved with your kids
-Be hands-on fathers
-Being a father is more than bringing money
-making time for your children to form bonds and attachment is important for their development development

Do you know the kinds of responses I get when I say that?

“Oh these evil feminists want to emasculate men and ruin the divine order of nature by promoting feminine features in men. They want to destroy the family unit. Men and women are not the same. Roles are different we are Africans”. You name it. I’ve heard it.

But now OP is saying the same thing but framing it to talk negatively about women, y’all are buying into the message.
Could it be that you don’t really care about loving your children as much as you care about making your women out to be the enemies??

Ponder on that.

There's nothing to ponder on. How about you let Men advise Men?

And focus that energy on advising women on how not to be manipulative moms, especially with the children.

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by descarado: 2:38pm On Jan 10, 2022

cococandy:
The funny thing is that what OP is saying is one the core messages I always preach to guys on here.
-Be more involved with your kids
-Be hands-on fathers
-Being a father is more than bringing money
-making time for your children to form bonds and attachment is important for their development development

Do you know the kinds of responses I get when I say that?

“Oh these evil feminists want to emasculate men and ruin the divine order of nature by promoting feminine features in men. They want to destroy the family unit. Men and women are not the same. Roles are different we are Africans”. You name it. I’ve heard it.

But now OP is saying the same thing but framing it to talk negatively about women, y’all are buying into the message.
Could it be that you don’t really care about loving your children as much as you care about making your women out to be the enemies??

Ponder on that.

Evil feminist cheesy

They don't know any better I tell you.
They don't.

You were brought up in a home, majority here ......., let me reserve my comment.

Abeg, I have dry ukwa, have you cooked it with pressure pot?
I'm not ready to use edible potash.

1 Like

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by SweetDipBenny(m): 2:38pm On Jan 10, 2022

Noted

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by descarado: 2:40pm On Jan 10, 2022

cococandy:
Yes men can do all that too.
Unless the baby is exclusively breastfed, men can feed in addition to everything else you mentioned. And even more.
That’s how to build the relationship. Children don’t wake up all of sudden and prefer one parent. It starts from infancy and who they knew they could depend on to take care of them.

See them. I be man o. And tomorrow he will start whining cheesy

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by professore(m): 2:42pm On Jan 10, 2022

CondemnBattery:
So I saw a thread earlier, and decided to educate husbands in the house how to play the home politics, just as adviced by my pastor's wife.

My pastor's wife thought me a valuable lesson. She legitly told us to be smart as husbands, when the kids did something wrong in your absence and your wife did not discipline the child, but waits for you to come back and discipline them, don't. Make sure she disciplines them herself, otherwise your kids will think you are the wicked one and the evil one.

Don't always give your wife all the money to buy things for the kids, take the children out to the market, buy them clothes, take them to the grocery store, buy the provision in their present. Let them know you are the one buying them. If you buy them shoes or anything, make sure they are aware that you are the one buying them. If you do all these, the kids will love you more. This is 2022, don't allow your wife rob you of your years of labor when it's time to reap.

You can add your own way of playing the family politics.

Please if this is front page worthy, kindly move to fp, so men can learn 1 or 2 this new year.

May our wives not take all our glory all in the name of I'm too busy in Jesus name. Amen

clean

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by zomby(m): 2:42pm On Jan 10, 2022

Awise09:
Kai this remind me of Yoruba movie I watch last year, the women turned the children towards their father, this man suffered but when the children discovered how their father suffered for money to take care of them they were shock to their bone marrow.

I think you guys are mixing things up.

Caring physically/ mentally/ emotionally for your children is not the same as marrying to a wife that hates you.
Every great mom is very happy to have children that cherish their father. In fact, majority of magnificent mothers systematically train their children to always love their father regardless of the circumstances.

So please do not mix caring for your children with marrying to a wife that despises you…That should be a different topic.

2 Likes

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by cococandy(f): 2:43pm On Jan 10, 2022

Hi.

I’ve cooked it with pressure pot before but it wasn’t as creamy in my opinion.
I don’t know if it’s because of who I got it from. I purchased it.

descarado:

Evil feminist

They don't know any better I tell you.
They don't.

You were brought up in a home, majority here ......., let me reserve my comment.

Abeg, I have dry ukwa, have you cooked it with pressure pot?
I'm not ready to use edible potash.

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by JustAvo: 2:43pm On Jan 10, 2022

CondemnBattery:
So I saw a thread earlier, and decided to educate husbands in the house how to play the home politics, just as adviced by my pastor's wife.

My pastor's wife thought me a valuable lesson. She legitly told us to be smart as husbands, when the kids did something wrong in your absence and your wife did not discipline the child, but waits for you to come back and discipline them, don't. Make sure she disciplines them herself, otherwise your kids will think you are the wicked one and the evil one.

Don't always give your wife all the money to buy things for the kids, take the children out to the market, buy them clothes, take them to the grocery store, buy the provision in their present. Let them know you are the one buying them. If you buy them shoes or anything, make sure they are aware that you are the one buying them. If you do all these, the kids will love you more. This is 2022, don't allow your wife rob you of your years of labor when it's time to reap.

You can add your own way of playing the family politics.

Please if this is front page worthy, kindly move to fp, so men can learn 1 or 2 this new year.

May our wives not take all our glory all in the name of I'm too busy in Jesus name. Amen

My siblings are more fond of my mom not because of any of the above... As a matter of fact, MY DAD HAS ONLY BEATEN ME ONCE n HE USED TWO OF HIS FINGERS, my mum on the other hand will make sure u take few minutes to remove brooms from ur body when she's Tru dealing with u.
Why are we still more fond of her than him? She will do everything legal n Godly to make sure everyone in the family is alright. Dad on the other hand was the opposite - he'll never inconvenient himself (for anyone other than himself) even if it involves his basic responsibilities....

Now tell me why we the children will not give more to our mom than him?

5 Likes

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by cococandy(f): 2:43pm On Jan 10, 2022

zomby:

I think you guys are mixing things up.

Caring physically/ mentally/ emotionally for your children is not the same as marrying to a wife that hates you.
Every great mom is very happy to have children that cherish their father. In fact, majority of magnificent mothers systematically train their children to always love their father regardless of the circumstances.

So please do not mix caring for your children with marrying to a wife that despises you…That should be a different topic.

1 Like

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by cococandy(f): 2:45pm On Jan 10, 2022

Well I hope you guys take the advice and learn how to be good fathers for your kids’ sakes and not for the sake trying to score points with your wives? Maybe Something good might come out of this thread

I won’t hold my breath though.

Jim99:

There's nothing to ponder on. How about you let Men advise Men?

And focus that energy on advising women on how not to be manipulative moms, especially with the children.

2 Likes

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by shantti(m): 2:45pm On Jan 10, 2022

Draslo:
You want to drag your kids' love with your wife or what?
What if you're a military man and you're never around?
What if you're an expat in another country and you no dey ever dey?
What if you're a sailor and your presence at home is nothing to write home about?
What if......?

Thank God u know say u no know anything. Pray never to be in a situation where in your old age, ur kids will buy a car and house for ur wife with all the documents in her name while they buy schnapps for you

I could go on and on. Just stop there and do what your duties are as a father and husband to your nuclear and the love will never die. Don't ever expect all your kids to love you equally but remember that no matter what they all love you unconditionally.

What do I know anyways? I'm just a single guy without any offspring yet so maybe I don't know what I'm saying.

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by shantti(m): 2:46pm On Jan 10, 2022

Draslo:
You want to drag your kids' love with your wife or what?
What if you're a military man and you're never around?
What if you're an expat in another country and you no dey ever dey?
What if you're a sailor and your presence at home is nothing to write home about?
What if......?

I could go on and on. Just stop there and do what your duties are as a father and husband to your nuclear and the love will never die. Don't ever expect all your kids to love you equally but remember that no matter what they all love you unconditionally.

What do I know anyways? I'm just a single guy without any offspring yet so maybe I don't know what I'm saying.

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by descarado: 2:46pm On Jan 10, 2022

cococandy:
Hi.
I’ve cooked it with pressure pot before but it wasn’t as creamy in my opinion.
I don’t know if it’s because of who I got it from. I purchased it.

I wil try then and see. Read we can use baking soda. Thanks.

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by cococandy(f): 2:47pm On Jan 10, 2022

descarado:

I wil try then and see. Read we can use baking soda. Thanks.

That makes sense seeing as both baking soda and potash are alkaline in nature

Good luck

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by zomby(m): 2:48pm On Jan 10, 2022

cococandy:
Well I hope you guys take the advice and learn how to be good fathers for your kids’ sakes and not for the sake trying to score points with your wives? Maybe Something good might come out of this thread

I won’t hold my breath though.

On Point!

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by jornwhite: 2:52pm On Jan 10, 2022

Ladyhippolyta88:

Preach abeg,spending quality time with your kids,being open a vulnerable to them by making them your friends will definitely help any child to bond with their father.

What those men seem to suffer in old age is the fact that they never made out time for their children while they were growing up and the kids could also see how badly such terrible fathers treated their wives.

Talk is cheap, it takes idleness to spend quality time with kids, in most cases the man is saddle with the responsibility of providing @least 60% of finances if not 100% .... except for the freelancers money is made outside, a man as to be out, whu wants to be a dead beat father, it not as if men have choice to be full house husband undecided

The truth is most women don't speak good of there husband to the kids, they alway wana give impression if not for me(ur mom) your father won't have paid your school fee or buy cloth for xmas, most mothers even ring it into there kids ears , your father is stingy if not for me we won't have fed this week.
The way mothers sire the kids is a reflection of what we see in our society today, women want all attention

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by shantti(m): 2:52pm On Jan 10, 2022

killfear:
This is very manipulative, wicked, unhealthy and divisive. Why on earth would you want to do that, I mean play politics in your home? Are you in competition with your wife? Aren't you two supposed to be one? This unhealthy rivalry is what destroys homes.

The proper way to train your kids is to make them understand and regard you as a COUPLE that you are, NOT COMPETITORS. Children should know that no matter who is at the shop to pay for their necessaries, mummy and Daddy put the money together and did it.

That message and mentality of the joint provision will help them even into their own homes. Even when anyone is buying, he it she should not fail to say "we", after all, family income when properly managed will be distributed to solve all matters and one cannot really pinpoint whose money is being used for what.

Women are the ones that need this advise

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by Patriotic9ja(m): 2:55pm On Jan 10, 2022

Carchoice:
OP come lemme hug you. This is the best thread I have seen this year.

I hereby appoint you as the secretary for fathers association of Nigeria, south south constituency.

Lalasticlala. I can see you. We are discussing the snakes in the family. Do justice

I couldn't help but burst into laughter reading the bolded..... well done guys �. When I'm tired, bored, or stressed out, and need something to take out the stress..... I simply read comments on NL

1 Like

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by salt1: 2:59pm On Jan 10, 2022

Icumsa45:
There are 2 things I want to achieve for my kids, either born them abroad or buy land for them, doing so I have fulfilled all righteousness.

Those are the things you value which may not appeal to them.
Your legacy to them can include quality education, strong religious values and memorable moments of laughter

Re: What You Should Do As A Father, So That Your Kids Don't Love You Any Less by lordally(m): 3:06pm On Jan 10, 2022

psalmylee:
Omo...this just broke my heart into pieces. Forgive me lord, for in have being wrong abt my dad all along.

https://www.nairaland.com/6930979/why-give-money-mom-instead

This thread will open your eyes the more

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