A woman should be homely without compulsion. It’s an inbuilt thing. Do you also assist in the house chores? Or your expectations are that it’s a woman’s thing! Times have changed, do your bit and teach her before marriage, whatever you can’t alter before marriage will only get worse and manifest after marriage.

Putting your both work into consideration, a lot of families cook once in a while and stock up the freezer. In my home, it’s every 2 weeks, some even monthly, funny enough, it’s cheaper, saves gas and stress. You guys should cook up. It will also reduce stress when children starts rolling in.

QuizPay:

She definitely loves me dearly, but love is not everything for a marriage to work out. Though she is independent and very hard working type. If I may ask What kind of homely thing are you talking about, nothing homely like cooking or house chores, I do my laundry myself etc

She leaves for work 7:30am? Eh! And you want breakfast? Please be considerate.

People eat breakfast at work.

We all have our shortcomings, u want her to be perfect which is not possible. To me though, is not red flag, with all d merits and demerits of her personality you wrote, the merit supersedes.
Any man that is looking for a fully perfect woman, is sitting on a long thing

LotaTee:
She leaves for work by 7.30am and you still want her to cook for you and do house chores?Are you a slave master?You want to kill somebody's child because she agreed to date you?Abeg abeg, if you can't cook for yourself then hire a help.This shouldn't even be a problem talk more of bringing it to nairaland.

This topic is not fir kids, I recommend you don’t get involve until u are 18. I'm sorry for shaa...with all this your wack modern woman mentality.

Make someone help me tell this guy that a good woman hard to see these days oo, na slay queen plenty pass for the lot. Hmmm truth is no one of us is ever perfect.

This thing called marriage is all about partnership and most importantly balance, where your other half is falling short, nothing stops the other from standing in gap.

I feel you both should sit down and have a deep conversation concerning this and in the end, you both should find a compromise around the situation.

Nitori pelu gbogbo advice I've read thus far hehehehehe oga you may miss it. Make una two sit up abi na level up. Ire oo

Bro she is still blinking pink when u finally marry her she might turn red or green... just be watchful

QuizPay:
I will make this epistle to be as short as possible, forget about the grammar and focus on the content ...

Is this a red flag or not or its just what it is, or what is your take in this?

My fiancee Fines it difficult to cook (though she can cook and a very good cook), I am not the type that eat outside always (I love home food), I only do such once in a while. She cooks sometimes in the evening or at night but it's a no no in the morning, I have to make my dishes for myself before going to work and house chores is even the worst. l gave her 9.9% that's how worst in terms of house chores, her excuse is "my weakness is house chores, I will try to be adjusting blablabla.

She only tidy/clean when I complain, after that she returns to former ways except if I complain again. Any time she does house chores she won't let me hear words, I did this, I did that, you don't even appreciate me, I did that too ecsetera. Her suggestion is for us to hire househelp (and house help is a no no for me, even if I will take in house help not now). The house is even small for house help to come in. Sometimes, she dodges cooking by trying to convince me to buy/order food while coming home etc, I do that sometimes but most time I decline and tell her to prepare food at home.

Although if I compel her to do things in romantic way sha she will do it but must I be compelling someone daughter in romantic ways always before doing what she needs to do ni. Also she works in a finance firm and leaves the house around after seven or 7:30am (House to work is close), back by 6pm but should this be an excuse to prepare dish for me, for someone that finds it difficult to prepare breakfast as Early as possible for just one person how much more when kids are involved waking up to take care of kids ecsetera. We agreed she will stop the work and I will set her up when we got marry and she promised after that she will be able to do the tidy and cooking very well . Planning to knot this year anyways, just a bit worry about this house chores of a thing which I have told her times without number...

The good part about her
* She is faithful and literally tells me everything that happens to her on daily basis.
*she can confidently give me her phone to work (this has happened twice, because I need to help in fixing her phone) , which I will give her updates about her callers, messages etc when she returns back from work and her phone has never be on lock.
*She is open and transparent
*She is supportive and submissive (with the time I have spent with her)
*She is a prayer warrior (she can pray for 4hours ), though she skips Sunday sometime because of resting. And Sometimes, i am tempted to tell her to reduce prayer at night so she can cook/tidy things that need to be tidy in the morning.

About me
Me: Am I.T guy, In aspects of earning I earn thrice more than her but I find it easy in doing house chores, (my mama taught me well you know) do dishes and tidy up things myself, (that was how she knows me) and always putting things in place, provides everything needed, supportive etc...Am the kind of person I return home late sometimes because after leaving my official work, I check in my personal business before going home.. So something 9pm or 10pm or 11pm (depends on traffic) before I get back home.

To married people, Councillors, experienced people in the house, , I will like your contribution in terms of House chores issue and wife responsibility etc, It can help me or some people out there in this kind of similar situation. Thank.. (no insult I beg.)

You go to work, she goes to work as well and u expect her to enter kitchen after work? Habaaa! Fiancee fa

No be red flag o

LotaTee:
She leaves for work by 7.30am and you still want her to cook for you and do house chores?Are you a slave master?You want to kill somebody's child because she agreed to date you?Abeg abeg, if you can't cook for yourself then hire a help.This shouldn't even be a problem talk more of bringing it to nairaland.

This is a weak argument. Assuming she doesn't work she should do all that.... and if she does work she's should do 50% of the chores.

princeeze1:
A woman should be homely without compulsion. It’s an inbuilt thing. Do you also assist in the house chores? Or your expectations are that it’s a woman’s thing! Times have changed, do your bit and teach her before marriage, whatever you can’t alter before marriage will only get worse and manifest after marriage.

Putting your both work into consideration, a lot of families cook once in a while and stock up the freezer. In my home, it’s every 2 weeks, some even monthly, funny enough, it’s cheaper, saves gas and stress. You guys should cook up. It will also reduce stress when children starts rolling in.

Women work now so how do you expect them to be homely? His fiancee goes to work by 7am and he expects breakfast? Haba. If she had a business or a laid back job, it would b a different case.

shantti:
I didnt read the story at all. But due to the longness of this epistle, it's a redflag

No woman is perfect.

LotaTee:
You should feel sorry for yourself.Ode.

And you had to insult him?

BigBashiru:


This is a weak argument. Assuming she doesn't work she should do all that.... and if she does work she's should do 50% of the chores.

This is according to
a) The Quran
b) The Bible
c)The Nigerian Constitution
d) Ohanaeze
e) all of the above

Someone goes to work from 7:30 to 6pm and you don't think she needs to rest. You don't think that after all that wahala she wants to lie down. She will bear children with all the stress and you still want her to work and take care of kids at the same time. Maybe when she wears herself out and looks so old due to stress you will be satisfied. And I'm sure you'll still want mind blowing sex on top of all this stress.

People have to pray for considerate partners.

LotaTee:
She leaves for work by 7.30am and you still want her to cook for you and do house chores?Are you a slave master?You want to kill somebody's child because she agreed to date you?Abeg abeg, if you can't cook for yourself then hire a help.This shouldn't even be a problem talk more of bringing it to nairaland.

Wahala dey oooo..
A woman. Should be able to wake up early and fix breakfast b4 leaving home.
This thing u just said now is rubbish
If u are a girl u need to be single bcz u will kill somebody's son

viyon02:
Am soooo sorry for you, don't worry, you will learn your lessons soonest.

he just wanted likes nothing more.

A big red flag!!!
This is NOT a wife material at all.

LotaTee:
She leaves for work by 7.30am and you still want her to cook for you and do house chores?Are you a slave master?You want to kill somebody's child because she agreed to date you?Abeg abeg, if you can't cook for yourself then hire a help.This shouldn't even be a problem talk more of bringing it to nairaland.

Na una dey spoil people marriage,if we even check u out now u dey cook and even bath ur guy before he go work

it's a purple flag.



















why do people come here to ask questions imbeciles won't even ask?

.

Quizpay, what kind of woman and family do you want to have?
Do you want a woman that would be cooking and doing the house chores?
If yes. Then your fiancee is showing you blood red flags.

Know what you want from a woman/wife.

acetylcholine:
I hope you won't come here to create a thread on how your wife leaves the home dirty like a thread I came across days ago. Her attitude towards chores may be worse once you guys get married or she gets pregnant.

All her qualities you highlighted are good but not enough. A woman must be homely and a good home maker and cooking, doing dishes and house chores isn't left out. Whatever happened to breakfast like tea & bread, even Noddles? If she can't wash dishes for the both of you, what will happen when you have like two children,and you know kids eat intermittently?

If you feel you can shoulder the responsibility of cooking and doing chores (which shouldn't be your primary duty) even in marriage, good for you, but know it's an abberation!

You better sit her down and talk to her, if you embrace this nonsense attitude all in the name of my mama trained me to do chores, trust me you will get tired of it, especially in marriage!

ladies like u are rare. Thumbs up

So she can't get up early and cook breakfast?

Xilsbridalhouse:

She leaves for work 7:30am? Eh! And you want breakfast? Please be considerate.

People eat breakfast at work.

viyon02:
Don't even think about it twice, she will never change, if you know you can be doing the house chores for her go ahead if not , better quit, before it is too late, there are things you can't change in marriage, you can only adapt to it or manage the situation.

That is very true.

My friend you are so good 2go....with these 3attributes faithful,supportive & prayerful she makes up 4 your complaint ×10,marriage is about complimenting your partner as no humanbeing is perfect. since u dnt find it a problem doing chores nd cuking u can b making up 4her in dat area while also talking 2her about it in a luvin way,wit time she would adjust...(mind u she's nt a full house wife who has all d time).....u might not understand d value of a prayerful nd faithful woman until u marry a prayerless nd cheating woman wey sabi cook nd do house chores den u'll understand d adventure in dis bible quote ''a virteous woman who can find''....luk beyound her little weakness so u dnt make a terrible mistake.

My own be say "anything thing wey you no fit continue, no start am". Nobody is perfect, what if kids start rolling in

The truth is she won’t change not even when you have kids. Be prepared to give them cereals in the morning before they leave for school. Just buy fruits regularly to help balance their diet.

QuizPay:
I will make this epistle to be as short as possible, forget about the grammar and focus on the content ...

Is this a red flag or not or its just what it is, or what is your take in this?

My fiancee Fines it difficult to cook (though she can cook and a very good cook), I am not the type that eat outside always (I love home food), I only do such once in a while. She cooks sometimes in the evening or at night but it's a no no in the morning, I have to make my dishes for myself before going to work and house chores is even the worst. l gave her 9.9% that's how worst in terms of house chores, her excuse is "my weakness is house chores, I will try to be adjusting blablabla.

She only tidy/clean when I complain, after that she returns to former ways except if I complain again. Any time she does house chores she won't let me hear words, I did this, I did that, you don't even appreciate me, I did that too ecsetera. Her suggestion is for us to hire househelp (and house help is a no no for me, even if I will take in house help not now). The house is even small for house help to come in. Sometimes, she dodges cooking by trying to convince me to buy/order food while coming home etc, I do that sometimes but most time I decline and tell her to prepare food at home.

Although if I compel her to do things in romantic way sha she will do it but must I be compelling someone daughter in romantic ways always before doing what she needs to do ni. Also she works in a finance firm and leaves the house around after seven or 7:30am (House to work is close), back by 6pm but should this be an excuse to prepare dish for me, for someone that finds it difficult to prepare breakfast as Early as possible for just one person how much more when kids are involved waking up to take care of kids ecsetera. We agreed she will stop the work and I will set her up when we got marry and she promised after that she will be able to do the tidy and cooking very well . Planning to knot this year anyways, just a bit worry about this house chores of a thing which I have told her times without number...

The good part about her
* She is faithful and literally tells me everything that happens to her on daily basis.
*she can confidently give me her phone to work (this has happened twice, because I need to help in fixing her phone) , which I will give her updates about her callers, messages etc when she returns back from work and her phone has never be on lock.
*She is open and transparent
*She is supportive and submissive (with the time I have spent with her)
*She is a prayer warrior (she can pray for 4hours ), though she skips Sunday sometime because of resting. And Sometimes, i am tempted to tell her to reduce prayer at night so she can cook/tidy things that need to be tidy in the morning.

About me
Me: Am I.T guy, In aspects of earning I earn thrice more than her but I find it easy in doing house chores, (my mama taught me well you know) do dishes and tidy up things myself, (that was how she knows me) and always putting things in place, provides everything needed, supportive etc...Am the kind of person I return home late sometimes because after leaving my official work, I check in my personal business before going home.. So something 9pm or 10pm or 11pm (depends on traffic) before I get back home.

To married people, Councillors, experienced people in the house, , I will like your contribution in terms of House chores issue and wife responsibility etc, It can help me or some people out there in this kind of similar situation. Thank.. (no insult I beg.)

Though there is no perfect woman anywhere,but for a typical African woman,House Chores should be no 1 on the list of a Home Maker.Let me use myself as an example.I am a teacher with two kids.When my kids were still very young,my husband is the type that doesn't help with any house chores.He doesn't take breakfast before leaving home but I have to cook for my kids before going to school so I do all the chores in the evening so that when I wake up I will be left with only sweeping and cooking because I love fresh foods for my kids and we leave home around 7:15am remember I have to bath for one of them and dress her up because the older one could bath himself and dress himself up when he was 8 yrs.I know many ppl will say teachers don't close late but our work is so tasking you all know what I mean someone teaching like 4 to 6 periods talking and standing during these periods then we have to go back to d class in d afternoon to coordinate students to read.So we leave sch then by 3:30pm and I have to pick my kids in their schs,you can see it's not easy because on getting home I have to get them something to eat and then supervise their home works,prepare dinner,do house chores e.t.c
So house chores and cooking is a woman's major assignment in order to keep her home in order.If your fiancée's job is so tasking that it makes her so tired to do these things she should do them in the evening.Try and monitor her whenever she's on leave.Then you can truly know what's contributing to her complains.Then make sure she sleeps on time so she can wake up on time to do her duties.If it's possible for her to cook and keep inside the refrigerator then warm in the morning,it's not a bad idea.Just try and make things work btw both of you and correct her with love you can do the chores and cooking together with time she will get use to it.It's not a good idea for a woman to shy away from house chores when she's still single so when she eventually gets married how would she cope.I have seen house maids becoming madam of the house because the Mistress was so careless and left every duty for d maid.So sit her down and strategize how she will be able to carry out her responsibilities when she eventually gets married. A word is enough for d wise.

It's not a red flag bro, it's a Green White Green flag... infact it's pure white!

Like someone said, there's no complete package out there, if I'm in your shoes I will marry her since her good sides outweighs her bad sides,, cooking can be managed and planned though,,, it's just the lazy aspect you will learn to cope with which might likely get worst after marriage,
Just pray she's not the lazy+dirty type sha