Your son has an entitlement mentality, and people like him rarely see faults in their selfish thoughts/behaviour. Don't be surprised that he'll even argue with you about moving out, claiming that the (your) house is his inheritance .

Oga, there are many teachers out there living on their own with wife and kids, not to mention your son who is single and entitled.

Kindly cut off every form of assistance from him immediately. And if he tries to threaten you, eject him.

So far as he's earning money, he should be responsible for some bills in an apartment that he does not pay rent.

Kingcalls:


To whr?? A world of crime??

I have given an example of my family.

Graduation means you have the tools to take care yourself.

Why continuing to live with your parents?

tensazangetsu20:
So long as you made the selfish decision to have children, you are completely responsible for them till you die. As if they are sharing high paying jobs in Nigeria.

that's why I hate coming online for advice, you see kids interfering, and spewing trash thinking they know more than the elders. if you don't want kids, that's your choice, but here is a man of over 60, please accord that respect. I hate stupid people

Golan007:
Eject him from the home.

"Failing to Launch".

You have said it all. Many of these kiddos can't even look you in the eyes in reality. This is the only place where they can display their childish behavior.

Tina001:


If not for anything, at least respect his age. See the way u talking to a 60years old man. Must you display your lack of home training I blame social media

faithfull18:
Hmmn, at that age, he should have a sense of responsibility even for late bloomers.

You have to sit him down sir and talk to him. No matter how small, he should contribute.

You're a woman.. you're the last person that ought to be giving advice about issues like this.. una wey your numerous boyfriend's don dey foot your bills even before you graduate.

When i got my first Job in my 20s earning 60k, I made sure I buy half bag of rice in the house every month.
It never stopped for even once.

They stopped buying rice in the house because of me.

And I also contribute on some other minor things once in a while.

And I reduce the pressure on my parents by buying my own food and clothes most of the time.

A young man has to contribute no matter how little.

JONNYSPUTE:
...Let me just Lol. You won't even realize when you will be pleading with that your offspring because of the bond.
Just pray not have a stupid and selfish one.

Don't mind her I don't if she even have child yet of grown age.....40-60percent of Nigerians between 25-35. Still live in their parents house or with a relative...Even the ones with a so called good job still do....most young people living alone with ac and all the comfort your parents can't provide they are into things!!!
Even Buharis Son still live in Abuja we don't know his job........
So many people who leave their homes now is to travel out of the country to study ......The country bis not funny at all

Let him do it while it last,just let him know that one day monkey would go to the market and would not come back, that's when his head would be straits.

membranus:


"Failing to Launch".

Prepare for impact.

Desusi:
Naira landers, kindly advise me on what to do.

l am over 60 years old, a widower. By the grace of God, l was blessed with three children of which two are graduates with good grades from reputable universities here in Nigeria, one is still undergraduate before the departure of my late wife some years back.

As a retired man with meager money, I decided to manage a little business which barely gives me much money. One of these my children, a professional, though not teacher, is currently residing with me doing teaching job in different places as part time, pending when he would get a much better job.

We are living in my personal house. l would single handedly pay electricity bills, lawnman, etc. My son would not want to help in any way, not even with pure water of #10 claiming that he is with his father.

Efforts to convince him to assist me is not yielding positive result, instead he would pick quarrels with me. His senior sister has married, while the junior brother is still in the school as dependant, what sort of counseling do you think he needs to change.

I am afraid even if this boy owns shop rite in future, he would not help either.

All this fiction and made up stories. A 60year old man coming to nairaland to seek for advise on what to do with his son. Una weldone

Desusi:
Naira landers, kindly advise me on what to do.

l am over 60 years old, a widower. By the grace of God, l was blessed with three children of which two are graduates with good grades from reputable universities here in Nigeria, one is still undergraduate before the departure of my late wife some years back.

As a retired man with meager money, I decided to manage a little business which barely gives me much money. One of these my children, a professional, though not teacher, is currently residing with me doing teaching job in different places as part time, pending when he would get a much better job.

We are living in my personal house. l would single handedly pay electricity bills, lawnman, etc. My son would not want to help in any way, not even with pure water of #10 claiming that he is with his father.

Efforts to convince him to assist me is not yielding positive result, instead he would pick quarrels with me. His senior sister has married, while the junior brother is still in the school as dependant, what sort of counseling do you think he needs to change.

I am afraid even if this boy owns shop rite in future, he would not help either.

Well , you didn't raise him well. It's too late to start teaching him "Responsibility"

Train your child in the way he should go, so that when he's old, he'll not depart from it.

Desusi:
Naira landers, kindly advise me on what to do.

l am over 60 years old, a widower. By the grace of God, l was blessed with three children of which two are graduates with good grades from reputable universities here in Nigeria, one is still undergraduate before the departure of my late wife some years back.

As a retired man with meager money, I decided to manage a little business which barely gives me much money. One of these my children, a professional, though not teacher, is currently residing with me doing teaching job in different places as part time, pending when he would get a much better job.

We are living in my personal house. l would single handedly pay electricity bills, lawnman, etc. My son would not want to help in any way, not even with pure water of #10 claiming that he is with his father.

Efforts to convince him to assist me is not yielding positive result, instead he would pick quarrels with me. His senior sister has married, while the junior brother is still in the school as dependant, what sort of counseling do you think he needs to change.

I am afraid even if this boy owns shop rite in future, he would not help either.

maybe you are not the one who pays is school fees, or you stop caring for his welfare after secondary school.

If that's true,

Don't expect him to shoulder those responsiblity also

Desusi:
Naira landers, kindly advise me on what to do.

l am over 60 years old, a widower. By the grace of God, l was blessed with three children of which two are graduates with good grades from reputable universities here in Nigeria, one is still undergraduate before the departure of my late wife some years back.

As a retired man with meager money, I decided to manage a little business which barely gives me much money. One of these my children, a professional, though not teacher, is currently residing with me doing teaching job in different places as part time, pending when he would get a much better job.

We are living in my personal house. l would single handedly pay electricity bills, lawnman, etc. My son would not want to help in any way, not even with pure water of #10 claiming that he is with his father.

Efforts to convince him to assist me is not yielding positive result, instead he would pick quarrels with me. His senior sister has married, while the junior brother is still in the school as dependant, what sort of counseling do you think he needs to change.

I am afraid even if this boy owns shop rite in future, he would not help either.

sir I would tell you from personal experience kick him out of your house , I repeat kick him out, if it is to assist him with part fund to rent a one room apartment please do, ensure you drive out the entitlement mentality from him now before it is too late else, when you are no more your family would be amazed at his actions and decisions, I can't share my personal experience on this forum but I hope you see this message and think twice. Ensure you get him to be responsible for atleast himself while you are alive.

If he won't take the initiative then designate responsibilities to him.
Some people are like that ,they want to be told to do something ,since he is receiving small money,sort through bills you know will not break his back for him and start from there.


Also some days when food stuff is exhausted ,act broke and tell him to provide. If he makes a fuss remind him he is old enough to start taking care of you.

Also in whatever you do,don't ever remotely mention things like " see your mates" . I hate it when parents do that, everyone has their own time,but that aside ,he is earning even if not much , he should atleast drop something to show he has a sense of responsibility.

You want me to pity all of una after believing in One Nigeria.

Suffering continua jare!

Una neva see somtin yet. Before we cross over to our new nations, the suffering must be intense. That is what fits the stupidity of black zoogerians.

Assign to him a responsibility in the house and ignore it when that responsibility is due to be carried out e.g. Filling a cooking gas or payment of electricity bill. Try and take his cv to the agency you worked with to hire him. Nigeria is so bad for southerners that If you see the way these northerners change plum government jobs anyhow for their kids. We really need a southern president to balance these equation. Southerners are really suffering.

Malory:
Shatap

Why nah

Desusi:
Naira landers, kindly advise me on what to do.

l am over 60 years old, a widower. By the grace of God, l was blessed with three children of which two are graduates with good grades from reputable universities here in Nigeria, one is still undergraduate before the departure of my late wife some years back.

As a retired man with meager money, I decided to manage a little business which barely gives me much money. One of these my children, a professional, though not teacher, is currently residing with me doing teaching job in different places as part time, pending when he would get a much better job.

We are living in my personal house. l would single handedly pay electricity bills, lawnman, etc. My son would not want to help in any way, not even with pure water of #10 claiming that he is with his father.

Efforts to convince him to assist me is not yielding positive result, instead he would pick quarrels with me. His senior sister has married, while the junior brother is still in the school as dependant, what sort of counseling do you think he needs to change.

I am afraid even if this boy owns shop rite in future, he would not help either.

/
These are not ordinary times. Everything is negotiable unless you approach him with insults like "see your mates". Frustration is too much that some lads are willing to sacrifice their parents to make money these days. Bad leadership affects all one way or the other.
/

By now he ought to be feeling shamed staying under the tent of his parent, his disposition is abnormal and he does not want to be responsible.. Even if he has, he won't help his father.. I beg pray for him

Imagine seeing your father taking your matter to nairaland for advice. There is nothing compared to being self reliant in today's Nigeria. Even if you want to be living with your parents for a while, have an alternative plan in case they start showing signs to getting tired of your living with them. People will always look down on you no matter what you do while still staying with your parents. It will always seem to them that you are lazy.

There is nothing bad with your 30 years son staying in your house, the only question is having him contribute to the finances of the family if he has the means to do so.

My brother I know what you are passing through,so with me.I am retired too above 60 with two graduates sons of 7 years and 5 years ago and to ice it up a girl had twins(boys)for one of them,all under my roof apart from the girl.

Desusi:
I am afraid even if this boy owns shop rite in future, he would not help either.

The question is, how much is his present salary? If he takes transport and feeding from his salary and has little or close to nothing left, then that might be the reason he is finding it difficult to contribute. Don't just judge him outrightly, get close to him and know the true situation of his finances.

See eh, let me bring to your notice sir, no man, and I repeat no man, after graduation wish to stay in his father house or want to solely rely on his father especially at that age, and your son is not an exception

Your story sir missed some vital points, and kinda one sided ,trying to be attract sympathy, that you will readily get here

Do not let your expectations from your child push him to acquire wealth illegally, I am guessing , the son just finish nysc like year or two now, you're already fed up because of your expectations

The young man is frustrated, unhappy with his life, do you think he his happy doing his current job ?, training a child in school is no longer a yardstick to guarantee a better life or prepare hik for a better future, Nigeria economy is terrible, the dynamics have changed, it's all about who you know

And guess what, you as the father who do you know to connect your child and give me a better life?

If you're close to him, talk to him, understand his struggle, encourage him, those few words of encouragement will make him give freely to the home keeping

Yiu wonder why children give more to mothers, mothers let the children know they share their pain and struggle

If you chase him out, share the bills with him forcibly or make him feel less of a man, when he eventually own that shoprite, you wont see a dime and your lamentation of "I trained him in school " will continue sir

For now, share his pain and struggle, encourage him, you will see the magic..

Kobojunkie:
There are many examples of the interactions between older sons living at home with there fathers that can be found in many American movies.

By watching some of those movies, he can maybe learn from them how to approach the issue as opposed to the way he has been used to interacting with them as African fathers do.

If you think that's a solution, then perhaps you should recommend specific titles for him.

DM for more details 09071921794

I am happy that you are ready to stand your ground and demand he takes responsibility for the house.

Don't allow him to blackmail you emotionally by you being his father. My old mum is staying with me and I make sure I take care of her very well because it's my responsibility

In doors I pledge 09071921794

This is really frustrating, I'll be 29yrs next month and currently I'm in my 300l second semester,assu is slugging my academic progress.
l stay with my parents, some time I feel ashamed of living and eating my parents food at 29"davido age" the fact that I'm older than wiz de give me headache. I'm currently teaching now earning 13k .
I'm not comfortable despite the fact that I'm still schooling not to talk of a whole graduate still eating his parents food at 29! doesn't he have friends? because sometimes my friends do tease me of being fed at my age.

hope he's not into a relationship sha

tensazangetsu20:
So long as you made the selfish decision to have children, you are completely responsible for them till you die. As if they are sharing high paying jobs in Nigeria.

This is definitely Op's son.
Son, please take it easy on your dad. Be responsible and contribute to the upkeep. Remember the Bible that says honor your father and mother so that your days may be long on the Earth.