DKM123:
This one too will be on nairaland screaming "Alfa mail" while his 29 year old mate is out there conquering the world and sending money home to his parents.

Golan007:
Eject him from the home.

Lanretoye:
Lord have mercy,rich people give their children jobs upon graduation,furnished houses and cars for their wedding and continual support to make life eazy for them cos they know the economic realities even when it is almost not affecting them.
We poor people want the jobless children to feed their immediate family,parents,relatives and inlaws,make life more miserable for the poor children...I really understand how you feel,if u can do well to help him get a good job,why not or why can't you.sincerely speaking there is a great difference between when you gave birth to him and now thats why u see alarming rate of fraud,killings for rituals and all sort.
My opinion:pls do not victimise him or cause rift between you and your son.try to encourage him,admonish him,advise him to get a form of skill or the other while he finds his balance.there are so many paying skills like computer and phone repairs,tilling or what ever he wishes to learn.when he start to feel more comfortable, he will atleast stop depending on you.its a relief if is not reciecing from u...dont mind all these yahoo boys that flaunt expensive cars and appearances,the ritualist wey most of them know pass their age.

Desusi:
Naira landers, kindly advise me on what to do.

l am over 60 years old, a widower. By the grace of God, l was blessed with three children of which two are graduates with good grades from reputable universities here in Nigeria, one is still undergraduate before the departure of my late wife some years back.

As a retired man with meager money, I decided to manage a little business which barely gives me much money. One of these my children, a professional, though not teacher, is currently residing with me doing teaching job in different places as part time, pending when he would get a much better job.

We are living in my personal house. l would single handedly pay electricity bills, lawnman, etc. My son would not want to help in any way, not even with pure water of #10 claiming that he is with his father.

Efforts to convince him to assist me is not yielding positive result, instead he would pick quarrels with me. His senior sister has married, while the junior brother is still in the school as dependant, what sort of counseling do you think he needs to change.

I am afraid even if this boy owns shop rite in future, he would not help either.

Naijanascam:
Don't even think about him anymore.....live your life to the fullest Sir...if he can't reason well sale off the house and use the money to maintain yourself to live longer because that's the first thing he will sale immediately you die....

Totilopussylick:
I recommend you send him to a barbing school

TruthUntold:

OP, this is definitely your son's account that he just opened to argue with you anonymously! Ha!

Desusi:
Naira landers, kindly advise me on what to do.

l am over 60 years old, a widower. By the grace of God, l was blessed with three children of which two are graduates with good grades from reputable universities here in Nigeria, one is still undergraduate before the departure of my late wife some years back.

As a retired man with meager money, I decided to manage a little business which barely gives me much money. One of these my children, a professional, though not teacher, is currently residing with me doing teaching job in different places as part time, pending when he would get a much better job.

We are living in my personal house. l would single handedly pay electricity bills, lawnman, etc. My son would not want to help in any way, not even with pure water of #10 claiming that he is with his father.

Efforts to convince him to assist me is not yielding positive result, instead he would pick quarrels with me. His senior sister has married, while the junior brother is still in the school as dependant, what sort of counseling do you think he needs to change.

I am afraid even if this boy owns shop rite in future, he would not help either.

JONNYSPUTE:

I don't even know what to say but to start with. How was he raised?
I mean,was he having everything at his will when growing up?

Totilopussylick:
I recommend you send him to a barbing school

Richy4:

Sir, u have done your part wonderfully well...
Since he is earning, use your church mind to calculate how much his take home is...Write a love note, stating what you want him to contribute clearly....

Since it's gonna cause a misunderstanding, put it in writing by telling him to contribute towards the upkeep... Example..

<<< Monthly electricity Bill... # 7000
<<<Saturday Lawn mowing... # 1000 or u mow the lawn by yourself..
<<< Food.. since I am your father, I will provide that..
<<< Water rates... #5000
<<< General house cleaning...#6000

Conclude by saying....Son, I want you to read this carefully.. U will only approach me over this subject matter if u want to negotiate only... But if u can not help me your father, Your certificate is enough to get u any where u want in the world... I want you to leave my house first week after Easter holidays...

Oga please type it... So that he will know that you are serious...do not right with pen...

Print your own copy as well just incase he wants to negotiate... It's called tough love... I believe anywhere he will be, he will pay rent and bills? Haba!!!

Tina001:


If not for anything, at least respect his age. See the way u talking to a 60years old man. Must you display your lack of home training I blame social media

Mooh247:




See wetin bad economy cause

You can't repay your father for raising you, you are still taking from him even at retirement

That's a crime


Use the method my mum used on us..

Note ; she is a retired Federal Government worker with my dad and they both earn good money from pension and house rent

Call all your children to have a serious conversation early in the morning...

Mandate each and everyone of them to take care of a certain bill or give you a certain amount every month so as to receive your true blessing while you're still alive

Start with little commitments for them

*filling of cooking gas
*service and fueling of Generators
*buying of pure water bags and water dispenser refill
*even your kid in school can afford to buy bread or live chcken every time he comes home if you mandate him to do so
*3k monthly subscription of internet or DSTV




.

Blastedholligan:
Mehn, this is so disheartening to even read. I'm so sorry about this sir. Why is he being oblivious to what is happening around him? I wish I had the best answer to give but I'm not a father so I won't know how to act in this situation. What I feel you can do best is reach out to any of his closest friend in confidence and tell him what's happening then ask his friend to speak to your son.

If I were son's friend, the kind talk I'll tell him ehn, he might not even want to be friends with me anymore.Thank you,my brother.

I'm so sorry about this sir.

Flexherbal:
This is something you both need to sit down and have a mature conversation about.

He needs a change of mindset.

lexy2014:


All this fiction and made up stories. A 60year old man coming to nairaland to seek for advise on what to do with his son. Una weldone

Malory:
Shatap

PrimadonnaO:


He won't know where to look, sadly.

lexy2014:


All this fiction and made up stories. A 60year old man coming to nairaland to seek for advise on what to do with his son. Una weldone

Is there a particular age meant for people that comes online... Or is there an age limit that is above being advised

medriano:


He is a lazy and selfish man. Do not for a second think he’ll be if any assistance to you even if he earns good money.
At 29, he should be out of your house, hustling to assist you and his younger one.
You make him comfortable that’s why.
What you should do is this.
1, electricity bill, food and other little stuff in the house should be shared. If he doesn’t contribute, make sure he does not eat or even charge his phone. Disconnect the light in his room.
2, give him an ultimatum to leave your house. You have over pampered him.
Is it not obvious that when he marries, he won’t take responsibility of his own family?
Whatever you get now, use it for yourself only.

Desusi:
Naira landers, kindly advise me on what to do.

l am over 60 years old, a widower. By the grace of God, l was blessed with three children of which two are graduates with good grades from reputable universities here in Nigeria, one is still undergraduate before the departure of my late wife some years back.

As a retired man with meager money, I decided to manage a little business which barely gives me much money. One of these my children, a professional, though not teacher, is currently residing with me doing teaching job in different places as part time, pending when he would get a much better job.

We are living in my personal house. l would single handedly pay electricity bills, lawnman, etc. My son would not want to help in any way, not even with pure water of #10 claiming that he is with his father.

Efforts to convince him to assist me is not yielding positive result, instead he would pick quarrels with me. His senior sister has married, while the junior brother is still in the school as dependant, what sort of counseling do you think he needs to change.

I am afraid even if this boy owns shop rite in future, he would not help either.

Klass99:


Dude like seriously, what is your problem? How do you know he had children for selfish reasons?

I strongly disagree that he is responsible for his children till he dies. He is responsible for them up to a point where they become adults and can do adult things to take care of themselves.

The son is just an insensitive and selfish jackass, it has nothing to do with high paying jobs either. He teaches at different schools and gets paid doesn't he? What stops him from picking up a few bills around the house, after all he lives there rent free. He can pick up one bill and be consistent with it if he was sensible.

If I born this kind pikin, he will be on NL complaining every day about his wicked mother. I don't have that maternal bone in me which makes mothers (or fathers) want to lay down their lives for offsprings. I like myself too much, to be bullshitting myself like that or allowing someone else to, offspring or not.

Chuksmonika:
This question is filled with so much wisdom. Parents should at the earliest possible time let their kids know that this life is not easy and not a bed of roses.

How you raise your kids is how they will treat you in future. If you pamper them too much, you will make them too soft to face the challenges of life.