Flexherbal:
This is something you both need to sit down and have a mature conversation about.

lexy2014:


All this fiction and made up stories. A 60year old man coming to nairaland to seek for advise on what to do with his son. Una weldone

Desusi:
Naira landers, kindly advise me on what to do.

l am over 60 years old, a widower. By the grace of God, l was blessed with three children of which two are graduates with good grades from reputable universities here in Nigeria, one is still undergraduate before the departure of my late wife some years back.

As a retired man with meager money, I decided to manage a little business which barely gives me much money. One of these my children, a professional, though not teacher, is currently residing with me doing teaching job in different places as part time, pending when he would get a much better job.

We are living in my personal house. l would single handedly pay electricity bills, lawnman, etc. My son would not want to help in any way, not even with pure water of #10 claiming that he is with his father.

Efforts to convince him to assist me is not yielding positive result, instead he would pick quarrels with me. His senior sister has married, while the junior brother is still in the school as dependant, what sort of counseling do you think he needs to change.

I am afraid even if this boy owns shop rite in future, he would not help either.

tensazangetsu20:
So long as you made the selfish decision to have children, you are completely responsible for them till you die. As if they are sharing high paying jobs in Nigeria.

Richy4:

Sir, u have done your part wonderfully well...
Since he is earning, use your church mind to calculate how much his take home is...Write a love note, stating what you want him to contribute clearly....

Since it's gonna cause a misunderstanding, put it in writing by telling him to contribute towards the upkeep... Example..

<<< Monthly electricity Bill... # 7000
<<<Saturday Lawn mowing... # 1000 or u mow the lawn by yourself..
<<< Food.. since I am your father, I will provide that..
<<< Water rates... #5000
<<< General house cleaning...#6000

Conclude by saying....Son, I want you to read this carefully.. U will only approach me over this subject matter if u want to negotiate only... But if u can not help me your father, Your certificate is enough to get u any where u want in the world... I want you to leave my house first week after Easter holidays...

Oga please type it... So that he will know that you are serious...do not right with pen...

Print your own copy as well just incase he wants to negotiate... It's called tough love... I believe anywhere he will be, he will pay rent and bills? Haba!!!

JONNYSPUTE:

I don't even know what to say but to start with. How was he raised?
I mean,was he having everything at his will when growing up?

MALIGNANTGuest:

OGA send him to us in the United States.
Here, parents evict their kids from homes.
IF kids don't generate Revenue and are only consuming & possibly causing troubles, they are immediately ejected.
In Fact, POLICE immediately issues them a restriction order from the house.

I know it's unAfrican.
But traveling has taught me a lot.
Just same way I will never advise a struggling Young man to marry a completely jobless lady.
No one does such Abroad.

He should be encouraged to get something doing, no matter how small.
Small is far better than nothing.
May be I may have to share my story too.

Mooh247:




See wetin bad economy cause

You can't repay your father for raising you, you are still taking from him even at retirement

That's a crime


Use the method my mum used on us..

Note ; she is a retired Federal Government worker with my dad and they both earn good money from pension and house rent

Call all your children to have a serious conversation early in the morning...

Mandate each and everyone of them to take care of a certain bill or give you a certain amount every month so as to receive your true blessing while you're still alive

Start with little commitments for them

*filling of cooking gas
*service and fueling of Generators
*buying of pure water bags and water dispenser refill
*even your kid in school can afford to buy bread or live chcken every time he comes home if you mandate him to do so
*3k monthly subscription of internet or DSTV



Don't u think u are pushing them to start yahoo
.

KingAzubuike:

You're a woman.. you're the last person that ought to be giving advice about issues like this.. una wey your numerous boyfriend's don dey foot your bills even before you graduate.

Desusi:
Naira landers, kindly advise me on what to do.

l am over 60 years old, a widower. By the grace of God, l was blessed with three children of which two are graduates with good grades from reputable universities here in Nigeria, one is still undergraduate before the departure of my late wife some years back.

As a retired man with meager money, I decided to manage a little business which barely gives me much money. One of these my children, a professional, though not teacher, is currently residing with me doing teaching job in different places as part time, pending when he would get a much better job.

We are living in my personal house. l would single handedly pay electricity bills, lawnman, etc. My son would not want to help in any way, not even with pure water of #10 claiming that he is with his father.

Efforts to convince him to assist me is not yielding positive result, instead he would pick quarrels with me. His senior sister has married, while the junior brother is still in the school as dependant, what sort of counseling do you think he needs to change.

I am afraid even if this boy owns shop rite in future, he would not help either.

Desusi:
Naira landers, kindly advise me on what to do.

l am over 60 years old, a widower. By the grace of God, l was blessed with three children of which two are graduates with good grades from reputable universities here in Nigeria, one is still undergraduate before the departure of my late wife some years back.

As a retired man with meager money, I decided to manage a little business which barely gives me much money. One of these my children, a professional, though not teacher, is currently residing with me doing teaching job in different places as part time, pending when he would get a much better job.

We are living in my personal house. l would single handedly pay electricity bills, lawnman, etc. My son would not want to help in any way, not even with pure water of #10 claiming that he is with his father.

Efforts to convince him to assist me is not yielding positive result, instead he would pick quarrels with me. His senior sister has married, while the junior brother is still in the school as dependant, what sort of counseling do you think he needs to change.

I am afraid even if this boy owns shop rite in future, he would not help either.

Beremx:
The current situation of the country made him to still be living under your roof. Don’t frustrate him and make him misbehave. He’s still a good boy unlike some sons who are jobless and shameless. Give him more time to look for a better job and let him move on

Desusi:
Naira landers, kindly advise me on what to do.

l am over 60 years old, a widower. By the grace of God, l was blessed with three children of which two are graduates with good grades from reputable universities here in Nigeria, one is still undergraduate before the departure of my late wife some years back.

As a retired man with meager money, I decided to manage a little business which barely gives me much money. One of these my children, a professional, though not teacher, is currently residing with me doing teaching job in different places as part time, pending when he would get a much better job.

We are living in my personal house. l would single handedly pay electricity bills, lawnman, etc. My son would not want to help in any way, not even with pure water of #10 claiming that he is with his father.

Efforts to convince him to assist me is not yielding positive result, instead he would pick quarrels with me. His senior sister has married, while the junior brother is still in the school as dependant, what sort of counseling do you think he needs to change.

I am afraid even if this boy owns shop rite in future, he would not help either.

Flexherbal:
This is something you both need to sit down and have a mature conversation about.

Golan007:


I have given an example of my family.

Graduation means you have the tools to take care yourself.

Why continuing to live with your parents?

ChybuzzDD:
1.If any man is selfish, it should be the one who decided not marry and bear children, just to enjoy his resources alone

2. How can a man who brought 3 other fellow humans to this world be rightly described as being selfish

Nawaoo.

Samuelriano1:
that's why I hate coming online for advice, you see kids interfering, and spewing trash thinking they know more than the elders. if you don't want kids, that's your choice, but here is a man of over 60, please accord that respect. I hate stupid people

Desusi:
Naira landers, kindly advise me on what to do.

l am over 60 years old, a widower. By the grace of God, l was blessed with three children of which two are graduates with good grades from reputable universities here in Nigeria, one is still undergraduate before the departure of my late wife some years back.

As a retired man with meager money, I decided to manage a little business which barely gives me much money. One of these my children, a professional, though not teacher, is currently residing with me doing teaching job in different places as part time, pending when he would get a much better job.

We are living in my personal house. l would single handedly pay electricity bills, lawnman, etc. My son would not want to help in any way, not even with pure water of #10 claiming that he is with his father.

Efforts to convince him to assist me is not yielding positive result, instead he would pick quarrels with me. His senior sister has married, while the junior brother is still in the school as dependant, what sort of counseling do you think he needs to change.

I am afraid even if this boy owns shop rite in future, he would not help either.

Esthered:
Dear OP, the economy has a role to play with your son who may think his income is not enough for himself let alone contribute to the house. I think you need to be firm and allocate bills to him.
I have a cousin who graduated since 2013 and is still being fed by his single mum. He had always had an entitlement mentality which we ignored thinking it was just immature outbursts as we grew up together.
Years after graduation, he started saying the labor market favours women and never landed a good job. His younger sister graduated 2 years after him and got a job when she stormed the labor market. When I was job hunting, he always gave the excuse that white collar jobs isn't his calling....I'm going overboard.....if he's broke, na white collar job holders dey rally round for am.
He just believes he'll be rich one day, although he's an upcoming artist but we don't have money to sponsor him and get him up there. I pleaded with him to work Mondays to Fridays and use his weekends to pursue his passion as he'll have money to promote his craft to no avail.
It's tough love strategy we're trying to see if my aunt can apply to make him stand up.
You're lucky he's working but he needs to know that he has an obligation to contribute in the house as he may find it difficult to provide for his immediate family's upkeep or do so grudgingly.
Please talk to him and if he's adamant, tough love all the way.

MARKone:


I have a friend who is in his mid to late 50's who visits Nairaland very often, not everyone you see, will have someone offline line to confer with, or he might just want to broaden the scope of advise he would have gotten offline and align it with the ones he'll get here, more especially from people his son's age.

PrimadonnaO:
If you think that's a solution, then perhaps you should recommend specific titles for him.

Advancedman:


I disagree the son must be a wicked devil and completely irresponsible as well as a national disgrace to the world.

Naijanascam:
Don't even think about him anymore.....live your life to the fullest Sir...if he can't reason well sale off the house and use the money to maintain yourself to live longer because that's the first thing he will sale immediately you die....