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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand (34077 Views)
My Mum Bullying My Dad Is Getting Out Of Hand!!! / My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand / My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by StrafordSTONES(m): 9:21am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Even Tupac said it in his song '"finally understand for a woman it ain't easy to raise a man"... when I stayed with my sister, I found out the first and all the sons get easily controlled when their dad gets angry. The mother-child relationship often eliminates fear, yet you wouldn't have it any other way. It's the father that offer the balance between fear, respect and love. Try to push them to some of their uncles you think are responsible 3 Likes |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Sleekfingers: 9:21am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Chimeluv: You said, her late husband family failed in their duty........ nigerians and their yeye entitlement mentalities........so it is the responsibility of the family to take care of the kids abi? 1 Like |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Machinegun91(m): 9:21am On Jun 09, 2022 |
I know how you feel madam, my prayers are with you |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Hezzyluv: 9:21am On Jun 09, 2022 |
abbeynism: Let her just RUN. These children don spoil already. Let her leave and not allow them know where she is while she keep praying for them. Hopefully, they would change. 1 Like |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by holsconcept(m): 9:22am On Jun 09, 2022 |
This is a lesson to some group of people. Now you know the relevance of a father in your children's life. There is still time change before its too late. Men are scum group, I greet 2 Likes |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by excanny: 9:22am On Jun 09, 2022 |
UpInTheSky: We don’t have a responsible police force In Nigeria. Don’t even try this. You also don’t try to beat kids of such age. You talk sense into them. You have to keep telling them of the consequences of the path they have chosen, including the possibility of being kicked out if they are not prepared to abide by your rules. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Reality3080: 9:23am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Iree1:it’s just as a result of over pampering Nothing much,many single mothers have trained boys successfully She might have over pampered them due to the fact that they lost their father earlier 3 Likes |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by MrUchenna1(m): 9:23am On Jun 09, 2022 |
When your children are teenagers it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. keep talking sense to them, be patience and be prayerful. time will fix all your problems |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by excanny: 9:24am On Jun 09, 2022 |
holsconcept: Oga, there’s nothing stopping a woman from raising responsive children. Stop sounding like a prick. 2 Likes |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by luluosas(m): 9:25am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Madam, your last option seems wonderful, but they will turn out a bigger monsters since they are already being monstrous. My 1 cent advise to you is to take them to God by visiting a Bible believing church, and in this case, Jesus Christ Temple Ministry is the only church I will recommend to you. Give to me inbox and let's talk. God bless you. Anobody: |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by sirjamesjnr(m): 9:25am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Cutehector:. The sole reason I don't fancy baby mamas or single parenting. Sole reasons I will never consider a single mom for a relationship. It doesn't always end well only a few cases. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Okunga: 9:25am On Jun 09, 2022 |
You and I know you can’t take them to their fathers village. Meanwhile I see you having a big problem in the future… like continua problems as these kids will put you through hell. My Neigbour is close to 61. A woman that was an engineer on her prime and did well for herself but her 3 children are giving her hell on earth here and she keeps carrying on because na her children/blood. All of them are always on various drugs incliding the daughter that just gave birth, and for the fact that she’s breastfeeding as she don born for her mama house, the drugs dey affect her baby boy tooo. Very agile kid because of the various drugs he innocently induce through the moms breast. My neighbor is learned but when me and her have a heart to heart talk and she start tell me about her children ehen, bro the woman dey suffer. You have to make some strict decision on your boys if you want their future to shape up because one of them go soon carry pikin come house for you. So granny congrats in advance …. 3 Likes |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Resurgent2016: 9:26am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Anobody: Do they have any male role model or mentor e.g an uncle or somebody quite senior they respect/admire or can respect. Having a father figure they can emulate will probably help. They are currently being wrongly influenced by their peers |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Emma2Seconds: 9:26am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by bjprodint1: 9:27am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Cutehector:Very deep 1 Like |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Saig: 9:28am On Jun 09, 2022 |
It's late to met out any form of physical discipline on these ones right now. Best you can do is befriend them. Become their friend, talk to them gently and give advice. Get any responsible male/woman in the family or church to talk to them. Summon two of them and tell them of your love for them and the sacrifices you have made for their wellbeing. You refused taking them to the village so that you could remarry thereby denying yourself that pleasure of love and companionship, all for them. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by isokey: 9:28am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Parenting in this age and time is not a walk in the park, even with both spouses involved. So many things to imbibe and teach our children before they are finally launched into the world. Parents need to top up their game and even early enough. Our value system needs to be revamped totally, otherwise issues like this is just getting to begin. Parenting begin with You(the parent). 1 Like |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by somehow: 9:28am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Go out and look for a military man that is known to have a good reputation around, explain the situation to him and ask that he helps you with mentoring. Then look for a religious leader that is also of good reputation within the environment, do the same thing. What they lack is a male energy while growing up, so they went out to get unrefined ones in the streets. Act fast and now before they either kill you or bring shame to your lineage. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by adedayourt(m): 9:28am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Anobody: This looks more like a confession to me. That growing up, you left them to the discipline of the street with little or no input, now its time for them to live out the street you seem not to be happy about it. You reap what you sow, it obvious you did not bring them up in the way you would like them to thread and they chose a path for themselves. Commit them to prayers if you are prayerful, molding them to what you want now means you would break them them start the process of remolding. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by descartes400: 9:28am On Jun 09, 2022 |
MrBrownJay1: Agreed! but she should wait until they turn 18yrs of age and then kick them out! |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by TruthHurts100: 9:29am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Anobody: It's almost too late |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by LivingTribunal: 9:29am On Jun 09, 2022 |
DKM123:This is the advice you needed 1 Like |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Aiel123: 9:29am On Jun 09, 2022 |
chukwuibuipob:Chai ,things dey happen for this world oo Selling pot to play betnaija? They have not only grown wings,they have gone wild and taming them is difficult Those boys have got no heart Truely every parents pray for good children but don't leave everything in prayer. Inculcate in your children good moral Shout-out to every model parents 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Saig: 9:30am On Jun 09, 2022 |
It's late to met out any form of physical discipline on these ones right now. Best you can do is befriend them. Become their friend, talk to them gently and give advice. Get any responsible male/woman in the family or church to talk to them. Summon two of them and tell them of your love for them and the sacrifices you have made for their wellbeing. You refused taking them to the village so that you could remarry thereby denying yourself that pleasure of love and companionship, all for them. Do this while praying for them |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by descarado: 9:31am On Jun 09, 2022 |
When you refused to be a friend to your kids. You get situations like that. Time and culture has evolved. You try and evolve with them. What's wrong with dreadlocks? I'm a mum and I have dreadlocks. Instead of always bickering why not genuinely admire that dreadlocks. Tell him it fits him. You can jokingly say, I wonder if it will fit me, should I do it? That way you have opened a chanel for conversation and that youngster will start opening up, leaning towards you and eventually want to please you. The time of our parents using harsh words on kids have come and gone. Make them your number one friend and confidant and you will get boys that will love you forever. Boys hardly fight their mum Change your parenting style. And nope, you chose not to marry on your own not because of them I'm sure u say that to their hearing. That's guilt tripping. You may end up a very jealous MIL when they eventually marry cos you will claim that you put your life on hold cos of them. Psychological manipulation 4 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by harmony75: 9:31am On Jun 09, 2022 |
I feel your pains the 2 boys misbehaving none can even correct the other to see the suffering of their mother? Please don't take them to the village but look for a trade/business person you can register them with in different places to learn a vocation before going to school, but it's in the village their father's family's are let one go make sure they're separated. Be prayerful it can really make a lots of difference, God's with you! 1 Like |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Iykenuwa(m): 9:31am On Jun 09, 2022 |
getting soldiers to discipline them might help, but I'd like to hear from others as well. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by IDERAWOLE(m): 9:31am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Anobody: Hmmmm! I can feel your pains madam! It's quite challenging to be a male or female single parent. Parenting is a job meant for two people, mother and father. Painfully, you lost your husband 10yrs ago, and you decided to nurture tboth of them to adults. Kudos to you ma. It's not a tea party to go the route you took, but your rewards are on the way. Now, listen to me. This generation isn't the same as yours, so they will never think like yours. When you're aware of this and ready to believe it, your troubles are half reduced. Next is that you didn't have your fingers on the fundamental principle of parenting, many of us don't have it. We do parenting like our parents did it, and that's why we seem to be failing. You need to calm down ma. There's a way to relate with your child according to their age range. Ages 0-5years You should handle them with the iron hand of a parent, most of us miss it here. We believe they're babies who don't know anything and we condone their excesses, and this is the best time to clip their wings. The wings are still soft but we mostly loose the chance here. You've gone past that stage with the two boys. Meanwhile, keep following me. Ages 6-12years, you're supposed to be the commander in the garrison. You roll out the rules of the barrack and they don't have a choice but to follow. You can even flog them to line here. Ages 13 - 20years, you're a friend to your teenagers here. No shouting, no threatening. But this is what you're trying to do. So calm down, call them for family conference and explain your pains to them. It is not an overnight business o! This will take time, but if you're consistent and truly relate with them like a friend, you'll succeed. Do you also know that they missed a father figure over their lives? You're trying to play that role, but it's not the same thing. Empathize with them on this loss of a father. From 21 upwards, you're just a mentor. Your advice will be sought when they need it. If you miss the mentioned stages above, you might be unprepared for the mentorship role in their twenties upwards. Now, call for that conference and stop assuming anything. Be real, they'll be real with you. If you're humble in doing this, those two guys will cry before your presence for hurting you ma. Above all, call on God all the time for His help in enjoying this stage. If you do it quickly, they might settle down, and Then you may be having a suitor coming your way for a new life. No serious man will want to marry you with your tensed life now. Calm down with the boys, and your new fiancee may play that fatherly role in their lives. Wish you all the best sister. 5 Likes |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Ara21(f): 9:32am On Jun 09, 2022 |
chukwuibuipob: May God not give us misfortune children. Sometimes the way some children treat their parents mothers in particular I imagine how she carried pregnancy for 9 months, went through labor, give birth clean and wash poo for 3 years plus carter for them till they come of age. I don't blame some people who don't want to have children. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Dankanu03(m): 9:32am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Woman u created this problem for urself cos u fail to bring them in d way of the Lord, u are more interested in material things. The bible says bring up a child the way he should go n when he grows up he will not depart from it. Send ur phone no so that i can talk to them n this will be when all of u are together. I pray that two of them will be useful to themselves n to u too in Jesus Name. Amen. My phone no is 08024776217. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by LadyTara(f): 9:32am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Its too late to try and correct them, how you want take straighten smoked fish? Personally, I think everyone has their life to live , good up bringing or not, as a widow who has sacrificed all she can to bring them up, if they can't have that compassion for you and use it as a motivation not to cause you stress ,then they are not worth being called sons.People have grown up in terrible situations and still turned out fine. Since a 19 year old is man enough to have a girlfriend and a 17 year old is independent enough to go anywhere and come home at will. Madam it's time to leave them to fend for themselves. Find your square root now while you still have time.Go and be on your own. If you die today won't these children survive? Even if their father were alive ,they would have turned out bad ,if they wanted to ,that I can assure you of. Parenting has become so tasking these days especially with the internet and this yahoo yahoo virus spreading everywhere. I feel for people with teenage kids. The other day I heard kids ,the eldest should be 14 talking about client and bombing. So madam , don't go and die because dem fit nor even do yearly remembrance for you sef. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by emperor103: 9:32am On Jun 09, 2022 |
the nurturing was faulty from the beginning but not late to get them back on track. get someone they respect - uncle, neighbour, church member etc. or a counselor to take consistently and constantly talk to them. pls ma, pay attention to your health cos if any thing happens to u(God forbid) they will go on with their lives to all parents: we really need to teach our kids real african/family values. this western training is killing our kids. |
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