cooooooks:
Ah. How will I know about baby mama-ship (which cannot even be an insult as a strong minority of our people are baby mamas/papas).

These are the overall themes that I recall from interactions. Perhaps, if it was a year ago, I would have had more specific issues.

As for the guys, I respond to them too. Even on this trend, there is a guy that has colonial mentality with the white women or nothing mindset.

Even in an earlier comment, I said gender wars are stupid. That, surely, was directed to all. Finally, I have been using the "Alfa Mail" phrase to parody many (fake) men's rights rabble rousers (I believe I got that from Loree ttaa).

Do you see now...

KristaPretty:



Move on, you are a woman and from my understanding it is amusing to a man when you are the one to propose marriage.

Until a man is ready, he cannot be talked into marrying you. Your post clearly shows that he is either not ready to get married now or he does not find you wifeable

chatinent:

Uncle met you. He said he wanted to marry you within four months while in Nigeria.

You said no. You said it was too early. You said you needed to know him better. You didn't even give him a timeframe as to when you think it's possible. No wahala.

Uncle travelled oversea. Some 24 months later, you are feeling insecure about what he'll be doing with ladies there and wants to settle down. Uncle is pissed off because he feels he had asked you before the abroad plan and you rejected because you wanted to seek God's info, but now he is abroad, you are certain he relocated from one estate in heaven.

Hanty, so you no know say man wey tell you e wan marry after three months of dating has no time for the long dating waiting process...and fit don marry within two years?

I know you didn't want to agree then so you wouldn't look cheap or desperate, but how can you look cheap then! No bi him suggest am? No bi him meet you? Una Naija girls tho. If you no fit marry am you tell the person, no bi say it's too early. It's too early for marriage but not too early for dating for two years? Na diploma? Na this same “I don't want to look cheap and desperate” don make Bisola turn 49 and all her prayer points don bi “God when.” Of course, because society has time to remember every lady out there unmarried and getting overripe.


Person propose to you, you reject am. How dare you propose now? You get mind o.


I no dey force you into marriage but if you mah know say he is marriageable, by now una for don marry with kids, probably with him overseas.


NOW, THAT'S YOUR OWN STORY. HERE'S WHAT I THINK HAPPENED:

You didn't want to marry him while in Nigeria because he seemed broke to you!

Na as you hear US later, oil begin commot your body.

You ladies are funny sometimes. You need revelation from God for six months to know if a not too wealthy guy is for you but a rich man is the answered prayer and your opportunity comes but once...and you feel the rich guy has no common sense? You feel he doesn't feel he is doing you a favour?

A lady who says she is not ready for marriage then that is now disturbing for marriage is actually inviting sb to use and dump her. If you say you aren't ready for marriage then, keep quiet until he asks again. Repeatedly saying it is suspicious abeg.

To me, dating is for marriage straight-up. Since I don't cheat, I no get time to come dey share girlfriend with dick-hungry Nigerian wild guys. Now imagine the girl disagreed and I come travel from that location she come dey yarn okoto later. No nah.

If you wanted to end it, you would have...na the abroad string wey dey make am difficult for you.

Believe me, if the true story is that you rejected his advances while in Nigeria but are now eager for marriage while he is abroad, you have been dating yourself....and will continue to be used by him...yet the one thing about you that will relocate abroad will be your imagination.

Uncle is now woke and has realized that after all, you aren't bringing anything to the table. I know you'll say you are the table. Well, you don't have table manners.


Please break up with him.
I have no option for peace.



Sorry, I don't mince words.
Have a nice century.

Iamyemmie:

No he has been abroad from the beginning
When we met he came home for Christmas

Iamyemmie:
Hi everyone, so me and my bf have been dating for 2years + now, no issues. He’s in the states and I am in Nigeria.

The problem started when I started talking about marriage cos I want to settle down.
Now he told me he feels I want to use him to travel abroad, that statement really pissed me off because at the beginning of the relationship he was the one that wanted to marry like 3months after we started but I told him I wasn’t ready and I didn’t know him enough.

So which one is I want to use him to travel now??

I feel like maybe because I keep talking about the marriage stuff, that’s why he thinks it’s because of traveling.

I’m thinking it’s only break up that can solve the issue. Cos if it comes from me, then that’s a clear message I’m not dating for abroad
Or how do I solve this issue??

Ps he has been U.S citizen from the beginning of our relationship.
Just didn’t accept cos he might be a serial killer or woman beater or something, I didn’t know him well enough.

qtguru:


Find another person, that statement says alot, also can't blame him, it happens.

KristaPretty:
Well I think he ended up seeing that you are not what he needs as a wife

Move on, you are a woman and from my understanding it is amusing to a man when you are the one to propose marriage.

Until a man is ready, he cannot be talked into marrying you. Your post clearly shows that he is either not ready to get married now or he does not find you wifeable

Move on o, stop waiting for abroad man. Better still work hard and go to abroad by yourself

Kollins11:
Your boyfriend is a real nigga. He knows you're a cheap girl and you don't have value just like ₦5.

You're talking as if you're a faithful girlfriend... Why can't you go settle down with Kunle that stays in Ikorodu? or Kareem that stays in Mushin?

Wait... If the guy was in Nigeria will you date him?? Because he stays abroad you wanna force him to come settle down with a "thing" like you.

Madam, go and marry that guy who stays in Ajegunle that has been disturbing you.. And leave that America dude alone.

Worthless wh*res everywhere.

chatinent:

Uncle met you. He said he wanted to marry you within four months while in Nigeria.

You said no. You said it was too early. You said you needed to know him better. You didn't even give him a timeframe as to when you think it's possible. No wahala.

Uncle travelled oversea. Some 24 months later, you are feeling insecure about what he'll be doing with ladies there and wants to settle down. Uncle is pissed off because he feels he had asked you before the abroad plan and you rejected because you wanted to seek God's info, but now he is abroad, you are certain he relocated from one estate in heaven.

Hanty, so you no know say man wey tell you e wan marry after three months of dating has no time for the long dating waiting process...and fit don marry within two years?

I know you didn't want to agree then so you wouldn't look cheap or desperate, but how can you look cheap then! No bi him suggest am? No bi him meet you? Una Naija girls tho. If you no fit marry am you tell the person, no bi say it's too early. It's too early for marriage but not too early for dating for two years? Na diploma? Na this same “I don't want to look cheap and desperate” don make Bisola turn 49 and all her prayer points don bi “God when.” Of course, because society has time to remember every lady out there unmarried and getting overripe.


Person propose to you, you reject am. How dare you propose now? You get mind o.


I no dey force you into marriage but if you mah know say he is marriageable, by now una for don marry with kids, probably with him overseas.


NOW, THAT'S YOUR OWN STORY. HERE'S WHAT I THINK HAPPENED:

You didn't want to marry him while in Nigeria because he seemed broke to you!

Na as you hear US later, oil begin commot your body.

You ladies are funny sometimes. You need revelation from God for six months to know if a not too wealthy guy is for you but a rich man is the answered prayer and your opportunity comes but once...and you feel the rich guy has no common sense? You feel he doesn't feel he is doing you a favour?

A lady who says she is not ready for marriage then that is now disturbing for marriage is actually inviting sb to use and dump her. If you say you aren't ready for marriage then, keep quiet until he asks again. Repeatedly saying it is suspicious abeg.

To me, dating is for marriage straight-up. Since I don't cheat, I no get time to come dey share girlfriend with dick-hungry Nigerian wild guys. Now imagine the girl disagreed and I come travel from that location she come dey yarn okoto later. No nah.

If you wanted to end it, you would have...na the abroad string wey dey make am difficult for you.

Believe me, if the true story is that you rejected his advances while in Nigeria but are now eager for marriage while he is abroad, you have been dating yourself....and will continue to be used by him...yet the one thing about you that will relocate abroad will be your imagination.

Uncle is now woke and has realized that after all, you aren't bringing anything to the table. I know you'll say you are the table. Well, you don't have table manners.


Please break up with him.
I have no option for peace.



Sorry, I don't mince words.
Have a nice century.

Iamyemmie:
Hi everyone, so me and my bf have been dating for 2years + now, no issues. He’s in the states and I am in Nigeria.

The problem started when I started talking about marriage cos I want to settle down.
Now he told me he feels I want to use him to travel abroad, that statement really pissed me off because at the beginning of the relationship he was the one that wanted to marry like 3months after we started but I told him I wasn’t ready and I didn’t know him enough.

So which one is I want to use him to travel now??

I feel like maybe because I keep talking about the marriage stuff, that’s why he thinks it’s because of traveling.

I’m thinking it’s only break up that can solve the issue. Cos if it comes from me, then that’s a clear message I’m not dating for abroad
Or how do I solve this issue??

Ps he has been U.S citizen from the beginning of our relationship.
Just didn’t accept cos he might be a serial killer or woman beater or something, I didn’t know him well enough.

brandmix:


Another 10 year old on the loose.

Damaged children everywhere.

Op should have limited her question to people with SOME ACTUAL FU*ck*ING experience in dating across Borders

No be inter-town local champion red piller association.

siofra:


Show me where I insulted you guys in my first mention

cooooooks:
JESU!

What kind of comment is this.

She is "cheap". Do you get off from typing rubbish?

zolajpower:


Bros it's dangerous for u to pick a girl from Nigeria and bring her abroad

I have a cousin whose wife has just sent him out of the house
We were against our cousin's idea of not traveling abroad with family for visitation. But now we re regretting it. The lady after 3 children is partying real had like kilode , fight husband everytime. But now he has sent my cousin parking
. Nija women re more dangerous than there foreign counterpart. The moment they know their right they will exercise and use it against it abroad .
My fiancee is an American and I'm happy because no drama and no worries

Sukkyy2010:
F*ck off

Why are you pained?

UyaiIncomparabl:
What's even special about these diasporan guys that they start behaving like mini gods?

Zonefree:
Breast that is not even big

Iamyemmie:
Hi everyone, so me and my bf have been dating for 2years + now, no issues. He’s in the states and I am in Nigeria.

The problem started when I started talking about marriage cos I want to settle down.
Now he told me he feels I want to use him to travel abroad, that statement really pissed me off because at the beginning of the relationship he was the one that wanted to marry like 3months after we started but I told him I wasn’t ready and I didn’t know him enough.

So which one is I want to use him to travel now??

I feel like maybe because I keep talking about the marriage stuff, that’s why he thinks it’s because of traveling.

I’m thinking it’s only break up that can solve the issue. Cos if it comes from me, then that’s a clear message I’m not dating for abroad
Or how do I solve this issue??

Ps he has been U.S citizen from the beginning of our relationship.
Just didn’t accept cos he might be a serial killer or woman beater or something, I didn’t know him well enough.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Exactly. Acting like USA na heaven.

Bunkbars:
It is heaven for alot of girls in nigeria. A friend of mine was dropped by his girlfriend, for a dubai guy who later dropped her.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Stupidity. Does staying abroad equal wealth? Only myopic girls think this way. I have some friends who are here in Nigeria and earning so well (I mean high range of 6-7 figures) and also some diasporan friends who are just living average lives but not wealthy. She's silly. Even though I am an enthusiast of living in the diaspora, I don't see it as heaven nor do I see a man who lives there better than the ones we have here. All na wash.

Bunkbars:
Honestly, real wash! She thought the guy had money, Unknown to her the guy was hustling hand to mouth at dubai, the guy was just sleeping with her any how, till he travelled back. And this my guy. was really comfortable.i was shocked on how someone could take risk on a serious relationship for someone else, you don't know too well. it is well

siofra:
Zonefree is Kunle Ikorodu and Kollins11 is Kareem Mushin.

They want you to settle for them, because in their misogyny they are probably thinking, how dare a Nigerian girl have good things happen to her, while I'm here drowning in poverty.

@iamyemmie break up with that guy, he doesn't seem sincere.

shege45:
swear that you have been faithful all those years. Abeg anty, move on

VULCAN:
Why must you rant about something that was never there?

I had to read the story twice because of you as I knew that I never saw anywhere where she said the guy was based here before they started.

I'm amazed that you could project such into the story.

Imagine someone like you being a Judge

You will send so many innocents to jail

Iamyemmie:
Hi everyone, so me and my bf have been dating for 2years + now, no issues. He’s in the states and I am in Nigeria.

The problem started when I started talking about marriage cos I want to settle down.
Now he told me he feels I want to use him to travel abroad, that statement really pissed me off because at the beginning of the relationship he was the one that wanted to marry like 3months after we started but I told him I wasn’t ready and I didn’t know him enough.

So which one is I want to use him to travel now??

I feel like maybe because I keep talking about the marriage stuff, that’s why he thinks it’s because of traveling.

I’m thinking it’s only break up that can solve the issue. Cos if it comes from me, then that’s a clear message I’m not dating for abroad
Or how do I solve this issue??

Ps he has been U.S citizen from the beginning of our relationship.
Just didn’t accept cos he might be a serial killer or woman beater or something, I didn’t know him well enough.

jasminer:


Ignore these bitter folks here abeg. They're toxic and looking for where to dump their frustration.

Back to your question, I suggest you break up with the guy. A guy with that mindset won't respect you in marriage. Let him marry women abroad or go to the American embassy and look for women who have been issued a visa.

For him to open his mouth to tell you that, my dear, run oooo. He has said worse behind you, he's most likely keeping in touch for free sex whenever he's back in the country so that he can add it to the things he'll brag about to his fellow toxic men.

Lest I forget, you were not wrong one bit for rejecting the proposal of someone you barely met for 3months. Any normal person will do the same. Infact if you had accepted his proposal immediately, they'll still blame you for jumping into a relationship with a man you barely know. So him taking it personal shows who he really is. You might be attracted from day 1 but you have to give each other time to really know what you're getting into and if he has a problem with that, he has many more problems you don't want to get involved in. This type of man will want a woman to follow his every decision blindly like a sheep even into the pit.

Love you sis