lif was better wen apple nd blackberry were jst friuts

dont get it. . .

Guys, watch and learn!

[flash=380,290]http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/v/xnGnl-UElVA?version=3&hl=en[/flash]

back in school. i went to d library on this day, there was this girl sitting adjacent. she was so beautiful *really beautiful*. mehn liver wan fail me o! instead of going to her stammering for words to use and get embarrased in d library wey everybody dey read for exams. i tore a piece of paper and wrote with my finest writing:
"hi. sorry i am deaf and dumb but at least i can write. my name is bknight and i collect fine things as a leisure project. when you are in my shoes u tend to cherish nature and her fine offsprings. your face is a collector's item but since i cant have that, give me your name"
cant remember d line verbatim but went something like that. she looked at me for a while, she simply wrote her name on the paper and returned it to me. rest of time i sat there, she wouldnt take her eyes off me! when it seemed like i was packing up my books to leave, this babe went outside with speed o. when i was clearing my bag at d bags corner, i saw her standing outside d door looking unwaveringly at me. its funny wt breaks their defences.
d rest na story
but some girls fine sha

Butter on my bread

bknight:

back in school. i went to d library on this day, there was this girl sitting adjacent. she was so beautiful *really beautiful*. mehn liver wan fail me o! instead of going to her stammering for words to use and get embarrased in d library wey everybody dey read for exams. i tore a piece of paper and wrote with my finest writing:
"hi. sorry i am deaf and dumb but at least i can write. my name is bknight and i collect fine things as a leisure project. when you are in my shoes u tend to cherish nature and her fine offsprings. your face is a collector's item but since i cant have that, give me your name"
cant remember d line verbatim but went something like that. she looked at me for a while, she simply wrote her name on the paper and returned it to me. rest of time i sat there, she wouldnt take her eyes off me! when it seemed like i was packing up my books to leave, this babe went outside with speed o. when i was clearing my bag at d bags corner, i saw her standing outside d door looking unwaveringly at me. its funny wt breaks their defences.
d rest na story
but some girls fine sha

tell us the story now, we wan hear. . .

Me: Hello mami
She: Hi
Me: Sorry to bother you i--
She: its okay
Me: Had it been I'm not shy, i would have said YOU'RE VERY BEAUTIFUL.
She: And are you sure that's not what you're saying?
Me: oh my bad (smiles)
Me: I was hoping you'd give me Dr Rey's number
She: Who's Dr Rey
Me: Of course, that your beauty surgeon on 90210 that made you like this.
She: excuse me (smile)?
Me; I mean its not possible you are naturally this beautiful, you can't have this pretty eyes and still have fine legs complimenting your height with everything in right proportion. OMG, your smile is great again. God can't make you this fine and leave me to look like Obasanjo. So, it must be surgery.
She: (blushes incessantly)
She: but you don't look bad too
Me: Really? Yey-pa, my year has been made.
Me: Okay its not like I want to know you but I'd like to tell my mummy about you. so, what do I tell her your name is?
She: OMG, you're so funny. My name is cuddlemii.
Me: And in case she (my mom) wants to call you to confirm; can you kindly punch your number here? PLEASE.
Me: Thanks. In case that guy staring over there asks why you're so amused, tell him you met a sweet guy called dammytex.
She: Uhmm hmmm
Me: Yeah. Thanks for your time. She'll call you. I mean my mum (laughs)

^^^^ nice one. . .LOL

bknight:

back in school. i went to d library on this day, there was this girl sitting adjacent. she was so beautiful *really beautiful*. mehn liver wan fail me o! instead of going to her stammering for words to use and get embarrased in d library wey everybody dey read for exams. i tore a piece of paper and wrote with my finest writing:
"hi. sorry i am deaf and dumb but at least i can write. my name is bknight and i collect fine things as a leisure project. when you are in my shoes u tend to cherish nature and her fine offsprings. your face is a collector's item but since i cant have that, give me your name"
cant remember d line verbatim but went something like that. she looked at me for a while, she simply wrote her name on the paper and returned it to me. rest of time i sat there, she wouldnt take her eyes off me! when it seemed like i was packing up my books to leave, this babe went outside with speed o. when i was clearing my bag at d bags corner, i saw her standing outside d door looking unwaveringly at me. its funny wt breaks their defences.
d rest na story
but some girls fine sha

me likey

Do you believe in love at first sight? or do i look again?  
                          OR
meet some girl suspecting you just about to hit on them, as she prepares her defence and tries to lock-up, i just shoot, you're quite good looking but do you smile?

Back in school. I would say ,


1. I can give up my school fees to register you for a beauty contest, i am so sure you will win.

the one that works most :

"Your face looks familiar, Do you know ******** ? " I just mention any name.

Mine usually go this way: Hi, what does it cost to get to know you?
I usually get a smile, maybe because of my pot belly and bald hair

dammytex:

Me: Hello mami
She: Hi
Me: Sorry to bother you i--
She: its okay
Me: Had it been I'm not shy, i would have said YOU'RE VERY BEAUTIFUL.
She: And are you sure that's not what you're saying?
Me: oh my bad (smiles)
Me: I was hoping you'd give me Dr Rey's number
She: Who's Dr Rey
Me: Of course, that your beauty surgeon on 90210 that made you like this.
She: excuse me (smile)?
Me; I mean its not possible you are naturally this beautiful, you can't have this pretty eyes and still have fine legs complimenting your height with everything in right proportion. OMG, your smile is great again. God can't make you this fine and leave me to look like Obasanjo. So, it must be surgery.
She: (blushes incessantly)
She: but you don't look bad too
Me: Really? Yey-pa, my year has been made.
Me: Okay its not like I want to know you but I'd like to tell my mummy about you. so, what do I tell her your name is?
She: OMG, you're so funny. My name is cuddlemii.
Me: And in case she (my mom) wants to call you to confirm; can you kindly punch your number here? PLEASE.
Me: Thanks. In case that guy staring over there asks why you're so amused, tell him you met a sweet guy called dammytex.
She: Uhmm hmmm
Me: Yeah. Thanks for your time. She'll call you. I mean my mum (laughs)

overkill, hope u dont use them all at once

someone once told me " i do not love u because u are perfect because it is ur imperfection that makes u complete"

ME: hi, Uuuhm, UuuhM!!!
LADY: what
ME: uhm, pls perdon me just that i'm kinda shaky,
LADY: what
ME: i i i i i i
LADY: what naw?
ME: please stop staring at cos my blood pressure goes high each time u stare
LADY: please what can i do for you, i dont even know u and you're already getting me scared.
ME: ok i'm sorry, just that am finding it difficult to flow
LADY:excuss me
ME: sorry i mean i wanna rap intune for my love and affection towards you
but let me start by introducing myself
"YO I'M JOE-B aka THE INTELECTUAL SPIIRITUAL SWAGGERLICIOUS BUT NEVER IN TUNE WITH GINGER BUT OCCATIONALLY KILLING THE MAGA''  (But before i could finish droping my line this gurl literarily ran away from me as if she saw a ghost or somfin)  

" I think I dreamed you into existence"

" Where have you been all my life?"

"I may not be the best looking guy here but I am the only one talking to you"

Hello,do you see any thing in me that distantly suggest that i may ask
You out and you say yes.girl says no and u then bye.

I think you were in my dreams last nite

most gals are cheap but u look expensive, I've got 7 ATM cards I'll dash u one of em if I can ask u out,,,,,,,,,#
try that it just might work

This one works for me

Me:Hello, your face looks similiar,  Do you know me?

She: No I don't know you,

Me: Don't tell me you don't know Emeka waa waa (Enugu boy), the owner of Emeka street that drives that white V-boot

She: Hmmm Ok

Me: You don't know me? the guy that lives on the top floor of that 4 decking (4 storey build) the young land lord,  that owns 4 shed in main market onitsha

She: Ok I think I know him

Me: That is me, come with me lets go and eat some isi ewu, this is Emeka chop money babie relax,

  This one dey work like fire for places like Enugu and Onitsha  but I'm yet to use it in UK

HEY FINE GIRL COME MAKE I RUNS U

There was this chap who was trying to chat up this really beautiful girl at a kiosk in front of his office. She was clad in the tightest skirt suit and killer heels, while he was sweating profusely from doing marketing runs for his bank all morning. She had just bought a soft drink and was about to leave. He didn’t know what to say so he said ‘So you like Fanta orange too.”

Corny, but the girl thought it was rather sweet (him, not her bottle of Fanta).

So she smiled, and the ice was broken. They started a long convo, hooked up on a date, and dated for 2 years.

The problem with this ‘woo-ing’ thing is that there is too much onus (not anus) on guys during the process to make things happen. Girls expect a guy to have smooth lyrics, drop ‘word’ that would hold their attention, make them laugh, hang around or constitute a general nuisance. Did you see all the hassle Kevin Jame’s character had to go through in the Will Smith movie ‘Hitch’?

What is a girl supposed to be doing all this while? What is she bringing to the table? After all, she has a fair bit to gain as well. A guy may be saying or doing the right things but it takes two to tango. If a lass is not sending the right messages or giving the right vibes, it may put a guy off. And that in no way diminishes a guy’s toasting skills. The perfect analogy would be a joke I once heard Basketmouth the comedian crack at one of his concerts. He said that when he performs at a show, if some people in the audience don’t laugh, then it isn’t his fault as he always does his best with his performance. If they don’t laugh, it is because their personal problems are more than his jokes. And in that case, he wouldn’t be able to do anything for them.

Read the rest here: http://woahnigeria./2011/08/12/you-dey-make-me-kolo/

I'm not really sure that there is a point to pickup lines. . . probably a girl decides whether she is interested before you even approach her. If she is, then so long as you don't say/do anything stupid, you'll be fine.

And if she isn't, then nothing you can say or do will help.

Is this mostly right, or am I wrong?

ekt_bear:

I'm not really sure that there is a point to pickup lines. . . probably a girl decides whether she is interested before you even approach her. If she is, then so long as you don't say/do anything silly, you'll be fine.

And if she isn't, then nothing you can say or do will help.

Is this mostly right, or am I wrong?

Sometimes thats true.

^MMM he don't got nun

This is kinda off topic; but do people seriously still use pick-up lines in this age and time?

190_@:

All what u guys are saying here are all GRAMMAR!!

Would work only on those Nigerian girls that dont know their LEFT FROM THEIR RIGHT

or those dark skinned girls that wear one pata for 3weeks - day in day out
mtschewww - rubbish

How you take sabi?

Hey shawty you look so fly can I pregnant your phone with my number

Boy : Hi
Girl : What?
Boy : how are you?
Girl : do i know you?
Boy : Hmm, no , but I'm rich,
Girl : really okk hi, I'm Nana, but my frnd can call me Nana baby, I'm 20, I live in PH but skooling @ Lead City Varsity, I Love shot dark guyz, especially somenoe like u , Am glad to meet U !!
Boy : No no ,"Rich" as in my name is Richard
Girl : **interrupts**(Hiss) Abeg abeg, I don't talk to strangers.

=))=laffº˚˚°º≈wanº˚˚°º≈te​arº˚˚°º≈myº˚˚°º≈belleº˚˚°º​≈=))=D. . .