Life is so deep........
You don't know what to expect but just to hope you have the strength to go through whatever presents it'self, good or bad like same water but different temperature.
GOD is just too great to understand sometimes I find it difficult to believe the narrative of his description from the bible, that is my own lot no doubt but yet my reality, better honest with myself than a fake impression to call me.
GOD is so amazing to fit into a book and that is so mind bugling.
GOD is not even his name, and GOD is not a he or a she or a it or any form of characteristics.
GOD is Impossible possible.
Away from trying to describe GOD because we will never get it done.
I wish I can stop feeling some type of way to enable me free myself from judging peoples action according to my own understanding because it's crazy when you watch people live like they will be here forever or rather like they are entitled to something worth dying for. I can't even imagine some crazy thoughts, but all in all GOD is just too great and beyond human comprehension no matter what.
The only thing I am settling for in the bible owing to the fact that it's a foreign religion is the concept of Love and Forgiveness expressed through Christs compassion and it's funny how the system still killed him through their political hypocrisies and still made a movie out of an act to be grieving more than the bereaved.

My point..........

Mr A feels too heart broken to come to terms when the girl he loves actually loves someone else and this feeling is as painful as hell but suddenly is relieved when he discovers that someone who actually got the girl of his dream ends up fathering another man's child.

A woman in tears as result of the humiliation faced for not having a child of her own suddenly feels stupid and elated when she learns that another woman who had a child was used by his son for money rituals.

I can go on and o with these disturbing comparisons but that won't be necessary.

My message is that no matter what, how and why you feel the way you do, always remember that nothing in this temporal world is worth the trouble and that everything you know or have been told is a big lie.
The truth is that your exist from this world is your entrance into another, its only reasonable tho no facts to prove it unless you personal experience it which is only a concept of a rational thought. When you realize this then you would understand that you have no problems except for the ones you have created for yourself while we are still trying to settle down like someone stranded on an Island surrounded with water, having nothing but what is available to maintain sanity through isolation or otherwise.
So just let go and go help others who haven't realized how beautiful it is to be free as they are still trying to fit in with the norm. It's not as easy as it sounds but when you eventually succeed everyone and everything becomes insignificant, then all your focus will be on how amazing the creator of your conscious reality is.

GOD IS GREAT.

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Mindlog:


Now that you have confirmed that the 4th child is not biologically yours, how can you get to confirm the child is biologically your wife's. Once it is proven your wife is the birth mother that eliminates baby-switching......you then make your decisions.

The baby switching is possible.
Is always good for husband's to join their wife's during delivery to remove any doubt about switching their baby.

For me I always stand, watch and encourage my wife during delivery.

Pells:
If you the rest of your kids are yours then your 4th child was exchanged at the hospital by the nurses
Your wife is innocent
Don't be a stupid

See diss one....I know a woman dat have children and she gave birth to d 3rd child, dat same day d man and d family came to d hospital only for a stranger to also walk into d hospital, and d idiot harlot of a wife told d husband and d family that d man(stranger is d father of the baby. ...long story cut short, d marriage ended in d hospital, d man took d two kids to d grandmother and one to the sister, den left Nigeria over 6 years now.....dis one happened in Anambra state live!

Sluacoast:

He did DNA test and the results shows he wasn't the father. So sometimes all this women cheat not because they enjoy cheating. It might occur accidentally just like this. Thanks

After he found out , what happened?

Sweetplum:

So bad. While we v bad women, we also v the good ones.
May God heal you sir.
I suggest you tell her to return the child to the owner.
I can't take such thing if I m a man.
Try and see if the relationship can work after she returned the child. If it can't work, separate. A broken heart can heal. A damaged home can't heal.
Link to the previous thread of the op
https://www.nairaland.com/7252543/unsure-father-fourth-child

oh sweetmumu see advice

Pells:
If you the rest of your kids are yours then your 4th child was exchanged at the hospital by the nurses
Your wife is innocent
Don't be a stupid

Ok. He should compare the child DNA with the wife's first before agreeing to this lie

Sweetplum:

So bad. While we v bad women, we also v the good ones.
May God heal you sir.
I suggest you tell her to return the child to the owner.
I can't take such thing if I m a man.
Try and see if the relationship can work after she returned the child. If it can't work, separate. A broken heart can heal. A damaged home can't heal.
Link to the previous thread of the op
https://www.nairaland.com/7252543/unsure-father-fourth-child

If relationship can work? Would you allow your son to be in such relationship?

Sweetplum:

So bad. While we v bad women, we also v the good ones.
May God heal you sir.
I suggest you tell her to return the child to the owner.
I can't take such thing if I m a man.
Try and see if the relationship can work after she returned the child. If it can't work, separate. A broken heart can heal. A damaged home can't heal.
Link to the previous thread of the op
https://www.nairaland.com/7252543/unsure-father-fourth-child

Return the child...like a newly bought charger that is not working abi. Well said, like a real woman

Away march zeh

Johnnyjohnnyman:
Good day all. I have posted exactly 2 months ago concerning my fourth child I went ahead with the DNA test unfortunately I am not her father.

Right now a lot of things have been going through my head i am shattered and depressed.

I don't know yet what is going to happen in my marriage I just don't know if the marriage will work or not.

I just wanted to keep you updated about the DNA.

Previous thread:

As a married man, here’s what I will do if I were in your shoes.

I will show her the DNA result and no matter what she says, that will be the end of the marriage.

I will not chase her out of the house, and I will still embrace the kid.

But I’m done sleeping with her, and I will not eat her food lest I be poisoned as she tries to bury me with the secret.

Every family have their secrets. This will be mine. Doesn’t mean I will forgive her.

Good thing that the child is a girl.

Simplyfun:
You need to tell your wife that the 4th child is not yours. If she wants to argue with you then show her the DNA result. If she know who owns the baby you can give her time to return the child. But if she didn't know the person please train the child. But don't hide this issue from her parents.

What is this for God's sake. Will you give this advice to your own brother?

xtivin:

My Brother take it easy even one of my ex just gave birth for her husband July this year, me and this girl still do correct things till September last year,when I see the child I smiled.

My prayer for you is that smile should not turn to a permanent frown for you

This is deep... God will help you out

After the creator, fear a "desperate" woman.

GerogeI:


No, she will end up denying in order to save herself from jail and her family. Find any precedence in Nigeria where a man successfully claimed parternity in court by dna. I have not heard of a precedence. You can only have a chance if the woman is at least on your side. If she has other kids, she has plenty of reasons not to be on your side.

With current technology and the boyfriend has documented evidences ? And in this OP case, the wife affair was not a secret affair. Even her children knows the boyfriend, neighbors know and even their other colleagues might know as well. Plenty witnesses also.

And DNA is a new technology to Nigeria, it has not been court tested yet. That's why we don't have precedence in court yet.

Johnnyjohnnyman:



She can't return her to her father because she is only 1 year 3 months and she is still nursing her.
I can't never separate the innocent child from her mother to save my marriage. I would prefer that she leaves with the child and continue to take care of her outside of my house.

You're a very strong man, you've suffered in a very complex way.
In life we fight real life battle this is one of it just sit her down tell her everything and if she try to argue with you show her the DNA. Then after that you know what to do ..

Jesus

I know it is not easy for the OP but I want you to sit and take the best decision that you know will be of highest benefit to you before you put any other person into consideration (the kids and your wife). You must also know that she knows more than you know, she was just trying to manipulate you all the way.

May God give you the wisdom to navigate this terrible terrain!

Mindlog:


Now that you have confirmed that the 4th child is not biologically yours, how can you get to confirm the child is biologically your wife's. Once it is proven your wife is the birth mother that eliminates baby-switching......you then make your decisions.

The wife was cheating.

Said child looks like the colleague his wife was cheating with.

Starz825:

I understand you...
Anything you say against her is right....

But you need to also consider the fact that it happened when they separated..not when they were together....
It's a factor....body no be firewood ooo...

During separation .. anything can happen...

Everything no be violence ooo...
They can solve it..

She should have used protection.....

Let me give you my own advice and I hope it helps. First I think you got just to options. One mend things with your wife and continue with both here and the child and those kind of children turns out to be one's saviour in the future. Secondly, divorce her and let her go with the child and that is lawful under God and man, if you should divorce here and you can afford it Japa. That how you can recover faster. To forgive here is the first option God will bless you aswear second option of putting her away is your right God will Protect you. So choice you this day what you will do. I hope and pray we never get to make this kind of decision never. All the beat to you

To me Man, what you did by sending money to ur sister is not wrong at all she had been cheating on you b4 that issue pop out, she is not interested in ur marriage again
So anything you do feels like sins abs and opportunity to send you out,that IA why she sent u out.
You are not the first Man to send money to someone and got duped ..
Maybe she see that that her college is not ready for relationship that's why she came back to reconcile with you , after getting pregnant isn't even up to a year u got seperated and she got pregnant..
Just marry second wife to be given u Joy because u won't get any happiness from that ur marriage again after u know that you are not the father of the 4th child .
Sending her parking would affect ur children alot..

Simplyfun:
You need to tell your wife that the 4th child is not yours. If she wants to argue with you then show her the DNA result. If she know who owns the baby you can give her time to return the child. But if she didn't know the person please train the child. But don't hide this issue from her parents.

She will definitely argue or try to deny it… honestly to see loyal and faithful woman this days Dey very hard.

Pells:
If you the rest of your kids are yours then your 4th child was exchanged at the hospital by the nurses
Your wife is innocent
Don't be a stupid

LMAO...
Are you joking ? Because this your comment get as e be....

You don't even see anything wrong in what she did because you don't condemn the act... bravo!!

He should tell her to return the baby to the owner .... make I laugh again abeg even though the statement isn't funny...

Is the baby a bread/groundnut/biscuit ?

That can be returned to the seller(father) because you don't like it.

If he dare stay in that relationship/marriage, I can bet it that she would still cheat over and over again.

If you read the OP message very well, she was already 2 months gone before he pinned the baby on him.


OP note this that if you forgive a lady/woman for what she suppose not to be forgiven for such as cheating, she would do it again and later blame you.

Sweetplum:


I suggest you tell her to return the child to the owner.
I can't take such thing if I m a man.
Try and see if the relationship can work after she returned the child. If it can't work, separate. A broken heart can heal. A damaged home can't heal.
Link to the previous thread of the op
https://www.nairaland.com/7252543/unsure-father-fourth-child

GerogeI:


Let me tell you this. In Igbo culture, paternity is not by blood. Any child born under your house while a woman is still married to you is yours. Children are viewed as wealth. You should have left the dna thing since you know she cheated.

However, now you know, if you know you cannot treat the child as you would your own, then let them go.

But know its a win for the man she cheated with. He gets a child, gets your wife. You loose your wife, your children loose a home with both parents.

But frankly, if you can, keep your child. The real father will see the child in your house, know its his, and can do absolutely nothing about it. That is your power, and you gain a child. Your children gets both parents. He will forever be peeping at you. Hoping on hope that your family breaks apart. Never discuss or agree that the child is not yours. Your wife will forever live in fear of your finding out. That is your power over that marriage, to control her and your home.

Never discuss it with her as people suggest, but a few times hint light heartedly that the child does not look like anyone in your family. The bible says children are like arrows, Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. Make sure the child carries your name everywhere and in everything. Be more passionate about being her father, and show your are ready to fight anyone who suggests otherwise.

good advice for the op

Simplyfun:
You need to tell your wife that the 4th child is not yours. If she wants to argue with you then show her the DNA result. If she know who owns the baby you can give her time to return the child. But if she didn't know the person please train the child. But don't hide this issue from her parents.

And of course, she would still be meeting the father of the baby.

if you forgive a lady/woman for what she suppose not to be forgiven for such as cheating, she would do it again and later blame you

Robnectar:
oh sweetmumu see advice

Bittered mumu, the advise is better than yours.

Realguyman1:
Return the child to who?

The father kwa.

Shadysen:
you dey reason with your anus no doubt,if u mention me ehn, thunder go fire you, bitch.

You dey reason with your rectum. Thunder fire you anywhere.