jubrilELsudan:
YOUR HUSBAND IS STUPID AND IMMATURE

HE IS AN UNFIT HUSBAND

HE IS A DEAD BEAT FATHER TO HIS KIDS

THE WAY HE REACTED TO YOU KNOWING YOU ARE THE ONE CARRYING THE PYSHICAL DRAIN OF RAISING HIS KIDS ALONE PROVES THAT HE IS STILL A BABY MENTALLY AND HAS NO BUSINESS PARENTING A CHILD OR BEING A HUSBAND

YOU HAD EVERY RIGHT TO BEHAVE THE WAY YOU DID

HE IS A COMPLETE FOOL

IF HE THINKS ITS EASY RAISING KIDS....LET HIM COME TAKE HIS KIDS AND SEE IF HE CAN SURVIVE A DAY RAISING THEM ALONE WITHOUT THE CONSTANT PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL SUPPORT FROM A PARTNER

AND LIKE A TYPICAL NIGERIAN MAN...HIS BRAIN IS SO DAFT IN HIS MENTALITY OF THINKING THAT HE BELIEVES THAT PROVIDING MONETARY ASSISTANCE TO YOU AND HIS KIDS MAKES HIM A FIT PARENT

YOUR HUSBAND DOESN'T DESERVE YOU AND WHEN YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE ENOUGH TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS ALONE...YOU MUST TELL HIM TO GO TO HELL AND MAKE SURE YOU DIVORCE HIS DEAD BEAT ROTTEN ARSE AND MAKE SURE HE NEVER SETS HIS FILTHY EYES ON HIS KIDS AGAIN

Na your type go don teach her to be a feminist, now the thing don choke her for throat.

MrBrownJay1:


i dont believe the above...a man should be tough when its needed and sometimes its best to defuse situations at home rather than trying to put yourself on the same level as your emotionally fragile wife... and go 5 months without contact with your kids... just because you want to make a point. sadly, i believe a lot of us men sometimes are blinded by our misplaced ego. now yes that wife was wrongfrom here to the moon, but is 5months without contact with your family/kids really worth it?!

trying to be "right" or "on top" of this argument, at the expense of your r/ship with your own kids, is wrong IMHO!

you have not really realized that women repeat every wrong behaviour that they were compensated on. I refuse to reinforce any nagetive behaviour born out of ego.
Most women are like kids, allow them get away with THIS today and they repeat it tomorrow.

I don't mean that you should try to get it your way always but when she does that which you di not want to be repeated, DON'T TOLERATE IT AT ALL.

Bobbynobobby:
He still tried to reach out to her for days after she hung up on him, she ignored him. Is that your definition of tit for tat?

yes he tried, and that childish woman still gave him the cold shoulder... fair enough, but let us think for a minute: you havent seen/contacted your kids for 9 weeks, and you finally get a response from that childish wife of yours, and instead of focussing on your children (and deal with that childish woman later), you would add another 3 months of silent treatment and/or NOT SEEING/CONTACTING your children, really?!?!?

Socratiz:
I am not going to condemn either of you but it's obvious both of you need a good lesson in emotional intelligence.

Yes. Granted that raising kids alone because your husband is not with you is not easy. I can imagine the stress of combining your job with raising the kids. It's a lot of sacrifice and it's right to expect your husband to appreciate it.

Nevertheless, your husband is also working his ass out (pardon my expression) where he is to provide for the family. His complaint that he's under pressure should not be ignored.

Both of you need to appreciate each other and be empathetic. Dropping your phone while he was speaking with you did not show empathy. For him too, he should have understood the pressure you were and showed a better understanding of the context.

Both of you are creating unnecessary tension in your marriage which could lead to something more serious.

Well, it is not too late to adjust. It depends on who will take the first step.

I will advise you do.

Please don't make any reference to your sister, or any other person. You have to overcome this challenge before you can think of a third party. His attitude to your family is a consequence of the deterioration of your relationship. I advise you concentrate on repairing your relationship first.

Call him and talk about this issue. Do not pretend that is resolved. Hear him out and do not try to defend yourself.

If you need some guidance on how to go about this, you can contact me.

Your husband also has a role to play in this resolution but you have to initiate the contact.

It seems both of you would benefit front he services of a professional marriage counselor.

I would be willing to guide and support you.
I am a professional marriage counselor.

All these femininised men dem and there low logic analysis. She did not only disrespected him but also deprived him of hearing from his children for more than a month. Do you know the emotional torture that man passed through before he could grow thick skin to not care again? That woman weaponised the children as a torture mechanism. 2months in not a 2sec thing o.

pointblank247:
you have not really realized that women repeat every wrong behaviour that they were compensated on. I refuse to reinforce any nagetive behaviour born out of ego.
Most women are like kids, allow them get away with THIS today and they repeat it tomorrow.
I don't mean that you should try to get it your way always but when she does that which you di not want to be repeated, DON'T TOLERATE IT AT ALL.

..and you seriously think that the best way to make this woman learn her mistake is by going 3 more months of silent treatment?
what has silent treatment ever solved (if not for women to deprive you of their honeypot)? can you think of any other way to deal with this woman, than to stay away from your kids?! now you are punishing the wife AND the kids. what have they done to deserve that?
what kind of father would do that?

I can’t even go a day without talking to my wife after arguments.. like how did you do it for 9 weeks madam hell no�

MrBrownJay1:


you are the one who is not making any sense....so your "immature" wife alienates you from your children for 9 long weeks, and the day you can resolve this immature BS silent treatment issue and get in contact with your kids again, instead of defusing the issue, you decide to give her the silent treatment (of your own) for 3 more month... in order to make it 5 months without any contact with your kids?! does that even make sense to you, really?!

You are not bright at all. Even when she boldly wrote that she called to talk about an unrelated issue and about her sisters admission and marriage, you still want the man to communicate and diffuse the matter. All these femininised men sef.

Meteoritey:
Due to work, my husband and I live in states, and my husband lives in Canada. 3 months ago we had some serious skirmishes during our phone conversation and in the heat of the argument, I told him that he does not appreciate the fact that I am raising the kids and doing everything alone.

To my disappointment, he told me that he is overworked more than me. This really angered me. This got me angry and I hung up. Although He tried to reach me for 4 days, and also sent me some messages, I cut him off without replying, about 9 weeks later, I sent him just a message on an unrelated issue, he ignored my message, after another month, I sent him another message, he also ignored. It has been 3 months now we have not spoken to each other.

Recently my brother had a baby, and he only called once to congratulate them. Moreover my younger sister got admission to a university to study the same course that my husband studied, so naturally, my sister contacted him. My sister said he advised her on what to do and what she should expect. This was about 2 months ago. I personally did not inform him about my sister’s admission myself.

After about one month, my sister also called him for more information, but he has not been picking my sister’s call.

My sisters fiancee also called him to inform him about their upcoming marriage (my same sister that got the admission) he only spoke with my sister and her fiancee once, he stopped further communication with them on both issues of admission and marriage, and that he only spoke with them the first time about the admission and the marriage out of the respect he has for them.

He gave my sister the excuse that it was not proper, for him to speak with her fiancee' because he said that I have not told him anything about the marriage, therefore he can not relate further with my sister as per the marriage. And that it was out of respect that he even called my sister initially to advice her.

What are you thoughts and opinion please.

From what you said, your husband is a good man. You are the one that wants to personally destroy your family. Most Nigerian women think when the get abroad they can do anyhow to their husbands. Change your attitude, they way you reacted to your husband was wrong, he is the Head of the family and you must respect him.

You are very proud

MrBrownJay1:


..and you seriously think that the best way to make this woman learn her mistake is by going 3 more months of silent treatment?
what has silent treatment ever solved (if not for women to deprive you of their honeypot)? can you think of any other way to deal with this woman, than to stay away from your kids?! now you are punishing the wife AND the kids. what have they done to deserve that?
what kind of father would do that?

you are applying emotions.

You are the architect of your predicament. Humble yourself before him and beg him to forgive you, otherwise you are on the verge of a broken home

bonnyhope:
This kind of story might not be real

Although marriages these days are breaking away

You are joking. I have experienced worse

In summary, pride is killing you,and you are too stupid .
It seems some small boys are decieving you.,You will live to regret your actions.

MrBrownJay1:


no matter how you wanna look at this issue, the woman IS/WAS wrong and she started AND fuelled this madness. as i stated, she needs to look within herself whats bothering her but ultimately something got to give... and by the look of things husband is not letting go after 5months (aka he is better at this childish "silent treatment" game than she is).

so that childish woman better open her eyes, give in and hope that husband forgives her childish actions.

Don't be slow, please. Unless this story is fake, this writer didn't write anything that warrant anybody blaming the man. The only thing to add is that he should have gone down to her place to see the children. That's all.

VTJN:
Lol

I hope you don't have such mentality that women are beneath you with this your comments?


I hope you don't have such mentality that you are superior while women are inferior?

I hope, I hope, I hope

Naa infact my mentality is that everything is inferior to the woman, she is above everything God created including man. She can do anything she likes and should not be held accountable for it. And she should be able to get away with anything because she is female and bears children. She has to be forgiven for anything she does.
And the man must over look and forget and must not comment on anything a woman does wrong.

Any man that does that must be arrested and locked up for abuse. Such men that seeks accountability from women are egoistic and are trying to subjugate them.

Infact that is my mentality. Foolish simps.

pointblank247:
you are applying emotions.

i am not...nothing should ever come between a man and his kids... if wifey is insane then let her be insane, but make sure that this does not affect your r/ship with your own kids.

2elliot:
You are not bright at all. Even when she boldly wrote that she called to talk about an unrelated issue and about her sisters admission and marriage, you still want the man to communicate and diffuse the matter. All these femininised men sef.

by all means, tell us all how long you would give your wife the silent treatment and ALIENATE YOURSELF FROM YOUR KIDS?!?! a year, 5 years?!

we are all assuming here but let me just say that: a marriage is a ying and yang, you win some, you lose some. you certainly cant have a misplaced ego blinding your judgment, expecting you (the man) to always be on top. this is not a dictatorship. if you cant forgive this woman for what she did, then GET RID OF HER and divorce her asap... if you can forgive her then COMMUNICATE WITH HER and let her know that what she did was unacceptabe and probably make her regret her act somehow(down the line).... but wasting 5 months of your life lowering yourself to that woman's level (playing childish games), is certainly not the solution! what a waste of time/life.

A lot of hypocrites on this platform are forming mature. If a person who used to communicate with you regularly cuts you off for 9 weeks that person obviously no longer needs you in his or her space. So it is natural to grant that person the space he or she needs. Some of the funny commenters here will even file for divorce sharp sharp!

Meteoritey:
Due to work, my husband and I live in states, and my husband lives in Canada. 3 months ago we had some serious skirmishes during our phone conversation and in the heat of the argument, I told him that he does not appreciate the fact that I am raising the kids and doing everything alone.

To my disappointment, he told me that he is overworked more than me. This really angered me. This got me angry and I hung up. Although He tried to reach me for 4 days, and also sent me some messages, I cut him off without replying, about 9 weeks later, I sent him just a message on an unrelated issue, he ignored my message, after another month, I sent him another message, he also ignored. It has been 3 months now we have not spoken to each other.

Recently my brother had a baby, and he only called once to congratulate them. Moreover my younger sister got admission to a university to study the same course that my husband studied, so naturally, my sister contacted him. My sister said he advised her on what to do and what she should expect. This was about 2 months ago. I personally did not inform him about my sister’s admission myself.

After about one month, my sister also called him for more information, but he has not been picking my sister’s call.

My sisters fiancee also called him to inform him about their upcoming marriage (my same sister that got the admission) he only spoke with my sister and her fiancee once, he stopped further communication with them on both issues of admission and marriage, and that he only spoke with them the first time about the admission and the marriage out of the respect he has for them.

He gave my sister the excuse that it was not proper, for him to speak with her fiancee' because he said that I have not told him anything about the marriage, therefore he can not relate further with my sister as per the marriage. And that it was out of respect that he even called my sister initially to advice her.

What are you thoughts and opinion please.

You be mumu!

Madam don start dey compare. Your eyes go soon clear.

2elliot:
Don't be slow, please. Unless this story is fake, this writer didn't write anything that warrant anybody blaming the man. The only thing to add is that he should have gone down to her place to see the children. That's all.

i am not "blaming" the man, i am stating a fact... what the wife did is CHILDISH! you cant blame a woman for being immature and childish, and when you play tit for tat with her, not expect to be called CHILDISH too... what husband did is exacty the same as what wifey did.

BRATISLAVA:


Oh, please.

Dictators online, serfs offline.

You will be good to dominate and remould, to break all your machismo to pieces. I say that with 100% masculinity intact. Some of you here that post all the "never, good forbid this and that, she dare not, she'd be a gonner" will even enjoy the submission you'll be shaped with.

Stay one place, guy. Are Nigerian men patriarchy or they are femininised be submissive. They can't be both na, haba.

Meteoritey:
Due to work, my husband and I live in states, and my husband lives in Canada. 3 months ago we had some serious skirmishes during our phone conversation and in the heat of the argument, I told him that he does not appreciate the fact that I am raising the kids and doing everything alone.

To my disappointment, he told me that he is overworked more than me. This really angered me. This got me angry and I hung up. Although He tried to reach me for 4 days, and also sent me some messages, I cut him off without replying, about 9 weeks later, I sent him just a message on an unrelated issue, he ignored my message, after another month, I sent him another message, he also ignored. It has been 3 months now we have not spoken to each other.

Recently my brother had a baby, and he only called once to congratulate them. Moreover my younger sister got admission to a university to study the same course that my husband studied, so naturally, my sister contacted him. My sister said he advised her on what to do and what she should expect. This was about 2 months ago. I personally did not inform him about my sister’s admission myself.

After about one month, my sister also called him for more information, but he has not been picking my sister’s call.

My sisters fiancee also called him to inform him about their upcoming marriage (my same sister that got the admission) he only spoke with my sister and her fiancee once, he stopped further communication with them on both issues of admission and marriage, and that he only spoke with them the first time about the admission and the marriage out of the respect he has for them.

He gave my sister the excuse that it was not proper, for him to speak with her fiancee' because he said that I have not told him anything about the marriage, therefore he can not relate further with my sister as per the marriage. And that it was out of respect that he even called my sister initially to advice her.

What are you thoughts and opinion please.

Let him go, you will get another husband.

Your husband will find another woman

Highways:
Okay... During that 9weeks who were you phucking... The story never finish....

The fact that she had the mind to ignore her husband for that long shows that she has been collecting someone else's dicck, even before the quarell.

Meteoritey:
Due to work, my husband and I live in states, and my husband lives in Canada. 3 months ago we had some serious skirmishes during our phone conversation and in the heat of the argument, I told him that he does not appreciate the fact that I am raising the kids and doing everything alone.

To my disappointment, he told me that he is overworked more than me. This really angered me. This got me angry and I hung up. Although He tried to reach me for 4 days, and also sent me some messages, I cut him off without replying, about 9 weeks later, I sent him just a message on an unrelated issue, he ignored my message, after another month, I sent him another message, he also ignored. It has been 3 months now we have not spoken to each other.

Recently my brother had a baby, and he only called once to congratulate them. Moreover my younger sister got admission to a university to study the same course that my husband studied, so naturally, my sister contacted him. My sister said he advised her on what to do and what she should expect. This was about 2 months ago. I personally did not inform him about my sister’s admission myself.

After about one month, my sister also called him for more information, but he has not been picking my sister’s call.

My sisters fiancee also called him to inform him about their upcoming marriage (my same sister that got the admission) he only spoke with my sister and her fiancee once, he stopped further communication with them on both issues of admission and marriage, and that he only spoke with them the first time about the admission and the marriage out of the respect he has for them.

He gave my sister the excuse that it was not proper, for him to speak with her fiancee' because he said that I have not told him anything about the marriage, therefore he can not relate further with my sister as per the marriage. And that it was out of respect that he even called my sister initially to advice her.

What are you thoughts and opinion please.

Kai!!! Similar to what led to the end of my first marriage. So my ex-wife type dey for nairaland.
Mine was for two months. No talking.
I blew over the top and ended it all. Especially because she was entirely wrong and bragging about it.
She refused to apologise initially until I concluded that we need to part.
She started trying to plead but once one allows me to make up my mind, no going back.

asahnwaKC:
And he’s fine not hearing from his kids... what a man because two wrongs don’t make a right.

Just look at you trying to use his children to take attention away from the wicked woman's mistakes. How evil of you

Meteoritey:
Due to work, my husband and I live in states, and my husband lives in Canada. 3 months ago we had some serious skirmishes during our phone conversation and in the heat of the argument, I told him that he does not appreciate the fact that I am raising the kids and doing everything alone.

To my disappointment, he told me that he is overworked more than me. This really angered me. This got me angry and I hung up. Although He tried to reach me for 4 days, and also sent me some messages, I cut him off without replying, about 9 weeks later, I sent him just a message on an unrelated issue, he ignored my message, after another month, I sent him another message, he also ignored. It has been 3 months now we have not spoken to each other.

Recently my brother had a baby, and he only called once to congratulate them. Moreover my younger sister got admission to a university to study the same course that my husband studied, so naturally, my sister contacted him. My sister said he advised her on what to do and what she should expect. This was about 2 months ago. I personally did not inform him about my sister’s admission myself.

After about one month, my sister also called him for more information, but he has not been picking my sister’s call.

My sisters fiancee also called him to inform him about their upcoming marriage (my same sister that got the admission) he only spoke with my sister and her fiancee once, he stopped further communication with them on both issues of admission and marriage, and that he only spoke with them the first time about the admission and the marriage out of the respect he has for them.

He gave my sister the excuse that it was not proper, for him to speak with her fiancee' because he said that I have not told him anything about the marriage, therefore he can not relate further with my sister as per the marriage. And that it was out of respect that he even called my sister initially to advice her.

What are you thoughts and opinion please.

Neither of you was right or wrong in this matter, You both are just allowing your childish egos to ruin what sounds like an otherwise happy marriage.

His absence and the stress of being alone rubbed you off the wrong way because for women, their love language is mostly around presence, support, and attention. Your rude attitude towards your husband put him off because men are big on respect. You worsened the disrespect by ignoring him even when he reached out to make peace with you.

My advice to you right now is that you do not let the gulf grow wider. Get off your high horse and make amends now. Fly down to his base in Canada and go and talk things over with your husband. Even if you don't like the man anymore, your children will need their father in their lives, especially in a place like the US where values are quickly lost.

If you are unable to travel, then send him a message apologizing to him...despite what you may have been made to believe, you won't die if you say sorry. Stop sending him messages on "unrelated issues". Sort the pending issue first and then you can re-establish normal communication.

MrBrownJay1:
you made a few mistakes (and so did he)...
A) just because you work hard, never assume that others dont (simply because you dont see/feel it)
B) cutting off your husand and giving him the silent treatment for NINE WEEKS is insane. is that not the father of your kids any longer?!?! why such harsh treatment?
C) your husband is as childish as you are and now playing your own game by ignoring you for months... blame y'all childish self, which ultimately will only hurt the children.
D) look within yourself to see what is bothering you so much that you could take such a small statement from your husband, and turn ii into such a big deal... then put your pride aside, get down on your knees and beg him to forgive you (because it is obvious, you aint gonna win at this "childish" game)

you are very stupid. how did he even get to marry a proud bitch like you

Your husband even tried sef..trying to make peace for 4 whole days.if na me na 2days I go try apologize and you ignored him for 9weeks,wow.This is marriage not relationship,you started what you cannot finish and seriously, I will give you this same cold shoulder the way your husband is giving you.you better apologize and stop keeping malice,no be everybody sabi keep malice,someone like me,if you keep malice for a long period,I will never contact you again until you apologize and I think that's the person your husband is,no be by maturity,because everyone is different and is raised differently.Apologise,you wronged your man.

Meteoritey:
Due to work, my husband and I live in states, and my husband lives in Canada. 3 months ago we had some serious skirmishes during our phone conversation and in the heat of the argument, I told him that he does not appreciate the fact that I am raising the kids and doing everything alone.

To my disappointment, he told me that he is overworked more than me. This really angered me. This got me angry and I hung up. Although He tried to reach me for 4 days, and also sent me some messages, I cut him off without replying, about 9 weeks later, I sent him just a message on an unrelated issue, he ignored my message, after another month, I sent him another message, he also ignored. It has been 3 months now we have not spoken to each other.

Recently my brother had a baby, and he only called once to congratulate them. Moreover my younger sister got admission to a university to study the same course that my husband studied, so naturally, my sister contacted him. My sister said he advised her on what to do and what she should expect. This was about 2 months ago. I personally did not inform him about my sister’s admission myself.

After about one month, my sister also called him for more information, but he has not been picking my sister’s call.

My sisters fiancee also called him to inform him about their upcoming marriage (my same sister that got the admission) he only spoke with my sister and her fiancee once, he stopped further communication with them on both issues of admission and marriage, and that he only spoke with them the first time about the admission and the marriage out of the respect he has for them.

He gave my sister the excuse that it was not proper, for him to speak with her fiancee' because he said that I have not told him anything about the marriage, therefore he can not relate further with my sister as per the marriage. And that it was out of respect that he even called my sister initially to advice her.

What are you thoughts and opinion please.

Little or nothing to add to most of what have been said.

I just want to advise you to move fast, your reconciliation process may be too late by the time you know it.

Look for someone whom your hubby respect very well and ask the person to intervene. Of course you must be sober by now of your attitude, which is nothing but foolery.

If you're still interested in that marriage, move fast and with prayers too.

MrBrownJay1:


i am not "blaming" the man, i am stating a fact... what the wife did is CHILDISH! you cant blame a woman for being immature and childish, and when you play tit for tat with her, not expect to be called CHILDISH too... what husband did is exacty the same as what wifey did.

The only childish thing on his part is not making moves to get in contact with his children by any means necessary. Asides that, he is in the right frame. I wanted to say that the story is fake, but considering what my own elder brother faced in Australia, how he lost his marriage, children and his first daughter he had long ago before marrying his ex-wife, I believe stories like this are true. The wife is concerned about the husband not talking to her family members or responding to messages on unrelated issues. No rational mind would accept this. This is not about being mature and better person.

abbey621:
My number one concern is how old are the kids? As a father, I can't imagine not speaking to my boy for a week not to talk of months, so what gives? If your kids are old enough to talk, this age of technology they can send voice notes, MMS, recorded videos etc, expressing how much they miss daddy. Sometimes the best way to apologize is to do so through the eyes of innocence. If your kids are still toddlers and unable to speak, then you can still record videos and direct the narrative, apologize and even pray for him.

The vast majority of fathers out there can hold a grudge against their wives but find it very difficult to ignore their children. My advice to you is to forget about your external family issues and focus on your own issues. 9 weeks of not talking, for wetin?

Only a wise woman know the logic. Till today my wife still do that. Only A foolish woman will never allow the children to reach you.

obiekunie01:
see how insulting and disrespectful you are to your husband.

anyways, prepare for your divorce ASAP cause your hubby is fed up of your shits!

he's got his life to live.

you women think without you guys we cannot breath!

most of them believe men can't live without then . They are too proud especially the one God give money or beauty. I just decided to cut off with my wife just because I saw a message on her from another man. The message was all about love ,ife mi, eniokan mi, I love you I love you I love. When I challenge her ,instead of explanation or apologising ,she got angry .I wanted to go out and meet somebody on a business matter but she blocked my way . I now asked ,who suppose to be angry ,you or me? In fact ,she fell on my mother of 75 years when she was holding her . this got me angry and beat her for the first time after a marriage of 12years . she has been doing this for a long time but I don't like noise in my life. She treating to kill and raining a lot of curse . So am meeting he parent and I have concluded to divorce her asap .