bobontop:


Feelings, Feelings, Feelings! You are making the same mistake that has kept many women unmarried or lateness in marriage. Follow the wisdom of God, it's is for your own good:
1. God never commanded a woman to love her husband. He only asked you to submit to your husband. What you call feeling (love) is not your duty. If you find a man that genuinely love you and treats you like a queen, you better follow him. The feelings will come later.

2. Love that lasts is not founded on feeling but on informed decision. Also these nonsense you people watch in Nollywood movies has deceived many of you girls. Romantic feeling comes and goes. You don't build a lasting relationship on romantic feeling... ask your mother. If successful marriage is built on romantic feeling Nollywood Stars would have had the best marriages. Successful marriage and but on commitment and decision to make it work.
You better jettison this childish notion of rejecting committed, responsible proposers because of feeling. Girls like you fall for empty vessels that have sweet tongues because you are looking for poetic Nollywood romance. Men that have something to offer are not very romantic. They are busy people and men of action. They meet you today in six months they have paid your Dowry. All those jobless efulefus that are looking for free sex, will call you 24 times in a day and write long poems like Shakespeare and end up wasting your destiny and destroying your life. The efulefus are the kind of people girl like you fall for.
Sorry if I am very blunt. I just want to help you and many other innocent but naive girls out there.
If a man loves a woman very much, even if they woman doesn't love him, their marriage will work. Infact you the woman will enjoy the marriage more because the man will spend his whole life trying to win your love. But you as a woman, in the name of looking for feeling marry a man who doesn't really cherish you, you have entered hell fire.

It's is the same with sex. A woman most times is not in the mood, but if she submits to her husband in obedience to God, the feelings will come and she will enjoy also.
Finally, must girls who have spiritual husband doesn't have feeling for the right men that will better their lives. Those wicked spirit husbands will will supply plenty of feelings when the efulefus come around so as to deal with the lady. You better beware and be wise... good marriage is not based on feelings... except in Nollywood.

czarr:
You are still in love with your ex that broke your heart, and you compare all men that come to you with this ex....if you end up alone it's not cos life did not smile at you, it's because you didn't smile at life cos of your past trauma.

advanceDNA:


U will have to try.......sometimes u just have to be patient to get to know people ......the unconscious or unconscious standards we set for ourselves is what makes someone our type or not our type, attractive or not attractive.... .

Sometimes lookimg past those standards will let you see people u thought arent your type are actually your type......

blinking001:

The 'easy route' life. The 'don't worry everything will be fine useless Aunt'. You think adoption is suppose to be an option for a woman who genuinely needs a child of her own?
Do you know the emotional trauma most women who adopt children go through? Fools like yourself pride in their stupidity of egalitarianism, wokeness and modernism even with the evident negativity it presents to human existence, culture, spirituality, and society.
You turn a blind eye to the negative manifestations and consequences of wokeness syndrome and egalitarianism and rather would encourage your followers like lambs to the slaughter. Your likes disgusts me.
It's obvious women rarely give good counsel to each other on serious issues that affects themselves and their loved ones and this sterms from the premise of men not holding them responsible and accountable for their actions.
Women only unite when it's time to wail and fight men.
Sometimes i wonder why women are so bent on destroying each other. Like the old saying goes : misery loves company.

The family unit is the bedrock of civilisation. Her absence in modern times is responsible for most of the atrocities, moral decadence, barbarism, etc we all are experiencing today.

Never has they been a time in human existence where the prerequisite for a successful marriage was feelings. (Emotions).

Op until you understand that as a woman you have a role to play towards the advancement of human civilisation, you'll continue making silly mistakes like the rest of your foolish kind.
I'm glad you are now rejecting men because you're 23, i hope the story still remains thesame when you turn 30.
Women lack self awareness and introspection, a major flaw in their design that is responsible for their stupidity, degeneracy and lack of accountability/ responsibility.

Fahvvy:


Sweetheart...
You're the one who didn't understand my own point...

All I'm saying is simple...
If a woman stays unmarried till she's a certain age, then it's because of the series of choices she made over time, simple!!

OP was there blaming "life" for 30+ ladies not being unmarried and I was trying to correct that impression ....

She used herself as a case study...
She said she has turned down proposals...
That means men have been coming around, but she CHOOSE to turn them down...

Why she is turning them down is not the point, the point is SHE MADE A DECISION TO TURN THEM DOWN...

So if she is unmarried by 30, she only have herself to blame for the choices that SHE made...

That's my point....

And on the subject of feelings...
My dear....
Feelings change with circumstances...

You can "feel something" for someone one moment and feel nothing for them the next moment... This is why break up happens...

Because people are entering relationship on the strength of feelings and when the feelings dies off, the relationship follows suit...

What y'all ladies don't understand is that what sustains marriage (or relationship in general) is not feelings but commitment, loyalty, understanding, endurance etc...

Our parents in times past, most times never saw their would to be spouse before marriage...

Their parents would fix the marriage and they would work it out....

And yet even without knowing each other...
Even without having "feelings" for each other...
They had a long lasting and happy marriage...

Shouldn't that tell you that feelings are irrelevant as regards sustaining relationships and marriages??

Lemme recommend you a book...
Go on AMAZON and search for the CLUE OF MARRIAGE, then see what actually makes relationship and marriages work...

Samcent:


Indeed, a word is enough for the wise!

I perceive the op as kind hearted but a bit naive.

I have read very sound words of wisdom from a number of persons,mostly guys, but stargurl20 is fixated on 'feelings' and maybe instant connection to a prospective suitor.

Ninety (90) percent of married women, including my wife, did not marry who they desired but who was available. I pray that the Op will make the other 10 percent.

Samcent:


I agree that most of the bashing here is uncalled for. But most of the contributions here that appear unpleasant to stargurl20 is nothing but the truth.

A woman should be more concerned about whether a man has feelings for her than the reverse.

I have been married for a while now, and I make bold to say that feelings contribute almost nothing in keeping a couple together. There are more important things that a woman should be looking out for in a prospective suitor not feelings.

pansophist:
most people marry who they love, but it's the wrong strategy. It is to ''love who you marry''. The former is based on feelings, and the latter is based on an informed decision. Feelings are what is keeping many girls single, they are waiting for the guy that will give them butterflies. It is wrong. Start listening to Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo and his wife, Mildred, these couples will clean your brain for this dirt modern society has deposited into it.

If you find a man that treats you like a queen, genuinely loves you, and wants to build a future with you, then love him. Butterflies are fleeting because when life's difficulties and responsibilities show up, you will appreciate a good man. Butterfly doesn't pay rent, protect and provide, lead and not bring trouble to you.

The same excuse you have that you haven't seen someone you fell in love with, is also the same excuse millions of unmarried women in their 30s have. Don't make such a mistake. Because you have feelings for a man doesn't make him good. It's a jackpot to love someone that happens to be a good man, but your primary duty is about his goodness first, then feelings. So the price you pay is to sacrifice feelings for what truly matters, which is a long-lastinf fulfilling union.

blinking001:

Mentally deranged women like yourself view every intergender issues from the prism of gender war. You are worst than a pig.

For the records, the op has no standards. She's been misled and brainwashed by silly women like you who go about spreading disguised hopelessness and future sufferings. You don't love the op else you would proffer a better response to her post.
I put it to you that you're a very terrible person who is going through crises and headed towards destruction. I see you're trying to recruit more women to join you in that frequency of stupidity and regrets.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Love who you marry? Lol. What exactly does that mean? Firstly, I am tired of people making a comparison of good counselling with "Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo" and his cohorts. Are you trying to tell me that what he preaches all the time is "truth"? Or does Pastor Kingsley hold the key to a successful and long-lasting relationship/marriage? Laughable. There are many of his messages I find VERY flawed. Now, read me well, there's nothing like " love who you marry". It is superfluous. For a woman to respect you, she has to be fond of you or even, have a little of what you term as "feelings". Yes - along the line, it may or may not die, but the commitment you promised each other and to stay true to yourselves will keep the relationship you both share afloat.

Trying to follow the basis of the Bible which commanded men to love and women to respect even defeats the purpose of this whole message.
How do you preach to non-Christians or irreligious folks without instilling your so-called foundational "biblical principles" so they could get your message?


Look, the way a man's and a woman's mind work is different. Don't try to opine what is not standardised and make it seem normal. With this message, you are rigidly preaching to women to "marry who is ready" and not "who they love". The reason why DNA issues are rising on a daily.

Respect should be a mutual venture. Not what one gender gives, the same as love. Woe betides you if you marry a woman who does not love you. I can't for the life of me imagine marrying a man I don't have the slightest fondness for. I have to be in awe of you to respect you. If these are lacking, you are just another guy. Respect isn't just for a woman to give neither is love. I believe relationships and marriage will fare better if people will choose to eschew the principles of "religious books" to have a lasting relationship.



Please and please, leave women in their 30s alone. And do not tell women to sacrifice feelings. Feelings won't pay bills, yes. You can be fond of someone and still be strategic. Be guided, please.

pansophist:


And my question is, why did you infer the worse possible interpretation of my point? If you read it in the context that I mean, you would notice that you have gone astray with your arguments. ''To love who you marry'' doesn't mean you should just marry any man that shows up or a man you do not have feelings for, it simply means that you should not marry someone because you have feelings for them ONLY. It simply means that in the hierarchy of traits that will make you commit to a man (or a man to a woman), attraction should take the back seat. I pray that the man you are attracted to will be a man of godly character, but life has never been perfect or balanced. 

If you decide to marry someone because feelings are more important than the strength of their character, just know that it has a price. And when you start paying that price, every modicum of attraction and respect you have for him will vanish. Marriage is not dating, marriage is marriage. If you reminisce on all the times you have fallen in love, you may notice a pattern. You would see that the guy you were dying for, that has your ''mumu'' button before is just an ordinary dude now, and you begin questioning yourself, how on earth did I fall in love with this idiot? if this has never happened to you, then perhaps you are still young.  

Also, if you talk to any behavioral scientist, or even google the science of attraction, it is clear that attraction is based on looks. If you know any man or woman that was overweight and loosed weight down to 10 percent body fat, they will tell you for a fact that they get more romantic advances, and suddenly become visible in the dating market. What you call attraction is mostly fitness and someone that is healthy. Most people if they are disciplined enough will be attractive if they can just be on a diet and exercise daily. One thing you can do now is to check out the 'before and now' photos of models/actors in the past, and you will see that they are probably fatter now, and not attractive anymore. 

Attraction is external, it is not skin deep. It is fluctuating and fleeting. You do not, and should NOT make a decision of permanence based on that. Character is a good bet, and if someone treats you to the best of their ability, even if you do not find them attractive, you can still live with them. It is impossible to hate someone that wishes you well and wants the best for you. And if they want the best for you, keeping fit, which is an expression of self-love will make you respect them and potentially develop deep feelings and attraction. 

If I will use a simple relatable analogy, it is like telling an obese person to love healthy food, instead of sweet junk. Healthy food may not be sweet, but it is good for you. Personally, I like junk food, especially chocolate. I don't drink, smoke, or do those stuff, but chocolates are my Achille heels, But as I grow older, I know that it is not good for me, and I stopped it. My diet now for most people is weird, but I come to love it because it's healthy for me, and will make me live longer. It is about sacrificing want/desire, for need/greater good. In case you don't know, you are always paying a price. And not knowing the price you are paying makes it worse. Being with a man due to feelings is also a reason for the prevalence of single motherhood, how about that? Bad men are attractive too you know? 

Is it a surprise that dating now is a mess? It is this mindset of putting feelings first that contributed to this mess. Lots of good boys and girls are friend zoned because they didn't give you butterflies, even if they will make good partners. The content of their hearts doesn't matter, just appearance. To end this, let me make this clear for the umpteenth time. By all means, marry a man you find attractive, but don't marry a man you find attractive only. This is and has been the central point of my stance so far, but I keep wondering why you and some other posters who don't want to quote me directly are inferring what I don't mean, and interpreting it to the worse it could possibly get.  Marriage is hard, it is an institution that calls forth the best in you, and feelings alone don't do it, but character. 

Benokonma:


Please can I send a DM bro?

I also tagged you in a thread I created.
Really love your wisdom on this forum

UyaiIncomparabl:


It is indeed very draining. Make me question what exactly those species want. Be a gold digger, they will be here wailing all day saying women don't love and it's all money. Now, here's someone trying to preach her belief about love and they still turn otherwise. Beats my imagination. Love is important. Very important.

Jman06:
See them. Always trying to have others make the same mistake they made.

Jman06:

To the wise girls reading my post...

Jman06:
...my point remains that you must not be fixated on the so called "mutual affection" or the women's definition of love if you want to get married and on time.

Jman06:
Until then, you need to adapt to the biblical principle of " men love your wife and women submit to your husband".

uche40:


How do you define a "mistake"? The way I see it, that epithet can only be ascribed to an action that is acknowledged to be flawed by the subject itself. Can you really have any say on what others besides yourself consider to be regrettable?



Lol. Are you THE authority on wisdom now?



I wasn't aware that there's a standard definition of LOVE approved by, and recommended for, ALL women. Perhaps you have citations for that claim?

Meanwhile, I've noticed that the majority of posters on this thread appear to be conflating love with infatuation. These two concepts aren't exactly synonymous. With love, there is also respect, and trust, and friendship, and communication, and acceptance. Any relationship built on these principles will last much longer than a relationship built on specious and misguided desires which are often mostly characterized by attraction to shallow features. For example, you can't just decide to spend the rest of your life with someone simply because he makes you laugh or he's a good-looking stud, or maybe because he's a walking encyclopedia or a walking bank.

Something else I find absurd is your casual rejection of mutual affection as a prerequisite for marriage. If you don't find such an idea appealing, it's perfectly fine. What's not fine is you trying to dictate to others what they should feel going into a marriage.



If you insist on making the implied assertion that a woman should marry a man who loves her, even when she feels no attraction towards him, you will have to explain how long you think such a union, which isn't based on mutual attraction that is meaningful, will possibly last.

Jman06:
People's idea of love is always about infatuation based on bodily attraction.

Jman06:

When such infatuation is coming from a woman, it becomes worse because it hardly sustains a long term relationship as women lack the capacity to make the sacrifices required to sustain such relationship.

Jman06:

So, they easily fall out of "love" and that explains why we have too many divorces and broken homes, especially among the woke western societies today where women have been made to believe that their "love" mattered in marriages.

pansophist:


false equivalence. If one said he likes goat meat, it doesn't mean that he hates chicken. You don't miss two things that are unrelated just because you want to prove a point. Gold digging is not a treatment you give to someone you don't find attractive, you simply let them go. Golddigging is a moral failure

If what you wrote makes sense to you, then perhaps it also makes sense for a man to convert a woman he doesn't want something long-term with as a sex object.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Stick to your guns, my dear. I am a lady like you and I understand your concerns. DO NOT marry a man you do not love. Even if it's 20%, please, love him. You'll find respecting him easy when you love him. If you aren't fond of a man, attraction will be absent which makes irritability a norm for you.

I do not go with the thought that you can grow to love someone. It can only get better and not grow from 0-100, in my opinion. Don't let them sell to you that funny idea. It's non-existent.

UyaiIncomparabl:


There's no reality here. And also to inform you, staying single is not a crime. Pity how society has made and enforced women to think marriage is a means to an end and without it, they aren't achieved or complete. Not every woman has maternal instincts, and not every woman wants to marry and will marry.

uche40:


Ok. I think I'm starting to get the picture.

To give you some context, I'm presently single, and no -- I'm not searching. I'm sort of ambiverted in the sense that I like people enough to interact with them for long periods of time. But ultimately, I value my personal space, my personal taste, interests and objectives above all else. As a result, I'm the typical example of a non-conformist. A lot of men I know often consider me proud and egotistical, and they believe I should be lonely and frustrated -- which is far from the truth. I usually scoff at their attempts to label me and categorize me, trying to tell me what to think. It's one of the reasons I think the Red Pill is a joke, just like radical feminists. The two sides make a lot of unjustified presumptions about the opposing gender without bothering to present any empirical evidence.

If there's one thing I've learnt in my life, it's to not let others have agency over my life and control my decisions. They don't have to do it directly. It's easy to feel pressured to do something when you find that your peers are doing it, but as I said earlier, we're all wired different. When you eventually accomplish what you think you want, you may eventually find that it wasn't worth the effort, not because it's pointless, but because it's not what YOU really wanted.

Marriage isn't a casual affair. It's deeply serious and it will affect your life forever. If you're sure that you're not prepared, don't do it. Don't allow your ego to fool you. Society has created this erroneous thought in young people that if they do not get married on time, then they're failures. This is predicated on the false assumption that ALL OF US in this blue sphere called earth share the same interests, intents and purpose. It's a subtle form of psychological projection. They're essentially trying to speak for you and tell you what you need. They (perhaps innocently) want to impose their thoughts and belief system on you.

Your happiness should be the most important factor for you. And anyone who truly cares for you will want you to be happy.

imadiyi:

Not only that which was available, but there must have been something different between you and amongst other guys.

There are certain attributes that should makes a man enchantable to a woman. Those attributes a woman so desires from their choices of man should be enlisted in the form of checklist. So, whenever a suitor comes calling, it's best for her to first examine him extensively, and should thereafter go back to her checklist to ascertain the number of attributes he possessed among the ones already enumerated. With that, she will know if he's to be giving a chance or not. But remember, 70% and above of a checklist should be good enough as spouse.

Majority of the ladies these days are in the lookout for a100%—that is where their problem lies. They are living in delusion through the figment of their imagination. Know this today, imagination and dreams are alike, and does not, in most cases, play out in reality.

As much as you girls think the guys on nairaland are found of bashing the ladies here through their spear of words, we ain't what you all think, rather we are helping you single ladies to look inward, and stop being delusional. Open your mind, so you could clear off the complications and the difficulty involved in the selection of a partner. If you don't come into a man (I am not saying having sex, but being a friend), you won't know a man.

It's always better to marry someone who you had been a friend with, than marrying a stranger. And if you are serious about getting married, you must've to start this process now, because, delay is dangerous.

bigpicture001:
@Op...u are a big fat liar.....u are overly materialistic nd lie u are not...okay explain what makes u like a man aside stuffs that are materials nd let Gid hear u say u havent fou d them in a man, but chhose to ignore him cuz he doesn't hv sooooooo much money...

ypu lot are same thing...nd full if lies

yusufmurry:
@OP, you are too naìve to talk about marriage.
You're an Undergraduate, in 7years time will you write this you have written? Pretending to not have feeling for anyone or rejected proposals.

You have no business in marriage for now, focus on your studies. When you're ripe, nature will tell you and your requirements would reduce.

The reason among others, many ladies ain't married is because of unrealistic requirements based on material things. An average Nigerian girl is looking for who will feed her in the name of marriage than who she would have good understanding with in marriage.

Below 25, ladies rise their bars so high on the "class" of man to date or marriage. Then, at 30, it becomes who is available and ready. No love! no feeling! Much disrespect from hubby! Then Broken marriages!

pansophist:


And my question is, why did you infer the worse possible interpretation of my point? If you read it in the context that I mean, you would notice that you have gone astray with your arguments. ''To love who you marry'' doesn't mean you should just marry any man that shows up or a man you do not have feelings for, it simply means that you should not marry someone because you have feelings for them ONLY. It simply means that in the hierarchy of traits that will make you commit to a man (or a man to a woman), attraction should take the back seat. I pray that the man you are attracted to will be a man of godly character, but life has never been perfect or balanced. 

If you decide to marry someone because feelings are more important than the strength of their character, just know that it has a price. And when you start paying that price, every modicum of attraction and respect you have for him will vanish. Marriage is not dating, marriage is marriage. If you reminisce on all the times you have fallen in love, you may notice a pattern. You would see that the guy you were dying for, that has your ''mumu'' button before is just an ordinary dude now, and you begin questioning yourself, how on earth did I fall in love with this idiot? if this has never happened to you, then perhaps you are still young.  

Also, if you talk to any behavioral scientist, or even google the science of attraction, it is clear that attraction is based on looks. If you know any man or woman that was overweight and loosed weight down to 10 percent body fat, they will tell you for a fact that they get more romantic advances, and suddenly become visible in the dating market. What you call attraction is mostly fitness and someone that is healthy. Most people if they are disciplined enough will be attractive if they can just be on a diet and exercise daily. One thing you can do now is to check out the 'before and now' photos of models/actors in the past, and you will see that they are probably fatter now, and not attractive anymore. 

Attraction is external, it is not skin deep. It is fluctuating and fleeting. You do not, and should NOT make a decision of permanence based on that. Character is a good bet, and if someone treats you to the best of their ability, even if you do not find them attractive, you can still live with them. It is impossible to hate someone that wishes you well and wants the best for you. And if they want the best for you, keeping fit, which is an expression of self-love will make you respect them and potentially develop deep feelings and attraction. Also, what are the probabilities that the man you love will love you back? if like every other of your past love, you lost feelings for him, what will become of the relationship?

If I will use a simple relatable analogy, it is like telling an obese person to love healthy food, instead of sweet junk. Healthy food may not be sweet, but it is good for you. Personally, I like junk food, especially chocolate. I don't drink, smoke, or do those stuff, but chocolates are my Achille heels, But as I grow older, I know that it is not good for me, and I stopped it. My diet now for most people is weird, but I come to love it because it's healthy for me, and will make me live longer. It is about sacrificing want/desire, for need/greater good. In case you don't know, you are always paying a price. And not knowing the price you are paying makes it worse. Being with a man due to feelings is also a reason for the prevalence of single motherhood, how about that? Bad men are attractive too you know? 

Is it a surprise that dating now is a mess? It is this mindset of putting feelings first that contributed to this mess. Lots of good boys and girls are friend zoned because they didn't give you butterflies, even if they will make good partners. The content of their hearts doesn't matter, just appearance. To end this, let me make this clear for the umpteenth time. By all means, marry a man you find attractive, but don't marry a man you find attractive only. This is and has been the central point of my stance so far, but I keep wondering why you and some other posters who don't want to quote me directly are inferring what I don't mean, and interpreting it to the worse it could possibly get.  Marriage is hard, it is an institution that calls forth the best in you, and feelings alone don't do it, but character. 

Stargurl20:
Ok, I've decide to marry anybody o

VERDA:


Lol...you don't need to be sarcastic, some people are being unreasonably harsh I agree, but there are a lot of very sound advice I see up there....I know feelings are very important to women and yes you cant just give in to just anyone, you need to start somewhere though....in the larger skim of things in Marraige, feelings contributes the least to Marraige sustainance.

pansophist:


And my question is, why did you infer the worse possible interpretation of my point? If you read it in the context that I mean, you would notice that you have gone astray with your arguments. ''To love who you marry'' doesn't mean you should just marry any man that shows up or a man you do not have feelings for, it simply means that you should not marry someone because you have feelings for them ONLY. It simply means that in the hierarchy of traits that will make you commit to a man (or a man to a woman), attraction should take the back seat. I pray that the man you are attracted to will be a man of godly character, but life has never been perfect or balanced. 

If you decide to marry someone because feelings are more important than the strength of their character, just know that it has a price. And when you start paying that price, every modicum of attraction and respect you have for him will vanish. Marriage is not dating, marriage is marriage. If you reminisce on all the times you have fallen in love, you may notice a pattern. You would see that the guy you were dying for, that has your ''mumu'' button before is just an ordinary dude now, and you begin questioning yourself, how on earth did I fall in love with this idiot? if this has never happened to you, then perhaps you are still young.  

Also, if you talk to any behavioral scientist, or even google the science of attraction, it is clear that attraction is based on looks. If you know any man or woman that was overweight and loosed weight down to 10 percent body fat, they will tell you for a fact that they get more romantic advances, and suddenly become visible in the dating market. What you call attraction is mostly fitness and someone that is healthy. Most people if they are disciplined enough will be attractive if they can just be on a diet and exercise daily. One thing you can do now is to check out the 'before and now' photos of models/actors in the past, and you will see that they are probably fatter now, and not attractive anymore. 

Attraction is external, it is not skin deep. It is fluctuating and fleeting. You do not, and should NOT make a decision of permanence based on that. Character is a good bet, and if someone treats you to the best of their ability, even if you do not find them attractive, you can still live with them. It is impossible to hate someone that wishes you well and wants the best for you. And if they want the best for you, keeping fit, which is an expression of self-love will make you respect them and potentially develop deep feelings and attraction. Also, what are the probabilities that the man you love will love you back? if like every other of your past love, you lost feelings for him, what will become of the relationship?

If I will use a simple relatable analogy, it is like telling an obese person to love healthy food, instead of sweet junk. Healthy food may not be sweet, but it is good for you. Personally, I like junk food, especially chocolate. I don't drink, smoke, or do those stuff, but chocolates are my Achille heels, But as I grow older, I know that it is not good for me, and I stopped it. My diet now for most people is weird, but I come to love it because it's healthy for me, and will make me live longer. It is about sacrificing want/desire, for need/greater good. In case you don't know, you are always paying a price. And not knowing the price you are paying makes it worse. Being with a man due to feelings is also a reason for the prevalence of single motherhood, how about that? Bad men are attractive too you know? 

Is it a surprise that dating now is a mess? It is this mindset of putting feelings first that contributed to this mess. Lots of good boys and girls are friend zoned because they didn't give you butterflies, even if they will make good partners. The content of their hearts doesn't matter, just appearance. To end this, let me make this clear for the umpteenth time. By all means, marry a man you find attractive, but don't marry a man you find attractive only. This is and has been the central point of my stance so far, but I keep wondering why you and some other posters who don't want to quote me directly are inferring what I don't mean, and interpreting it to the worse it could possibly get.  Marriage is hard, it is an institution that calls forth the best in you, and feelings alone don't do it, but character. 

VERDA:


She is in her final year and 23, now might not be the best time to get married but she should definitely start having suitors from which she can start making her pick from, the idea of waiting until the far you want to marry works for men but not women, at 23...never liking even one person that has approached you seem to me odd, it's either your standards are too high or you are truly unlucky, I doubt the latter...


Most women find the men they eventually settle down with while in the university of rounding up.

yusufmurry:


She is still thinking heaven and earth at 23. Why she has no feeling for those coming her way, even at the 23, once Otedola's son comes, she go get feeling by force. And you think girls don't know what they are doing. Lazy beings looking for already-made food pretending to love

Stargurl20:

You're entitled to your opinion