Techmac00:


I've been following this thread since inception. Your philosophy about love and marriage isn't bad honestly.

I was matchmaked with this young student Nurse and after 2 weeks of knowing ourselves, I pulled out. Why? The connection and attraction wasn't there. I couldn't pretend, and even though she's hot cake for the type of course she is studying, and her mum is wealthy, I couldn't take that risk to marriage where there's no turning back.

But I was able to take such a decision because I'm a Man, at 30 I'm not too late, but you ladies don't have the luxury of time. I think that's the unfair advantage when compared with both sexes in terms of spec and marriage.

At 23, you are still young but don't create too high expectations for the man you will love.

Yeah, I didn't even make this post for myself. I know that the chances of ending up with someone I have no feelings for maybe high, but I only made the post to get those who bully unmarried women know that some are unmarried not because of their high expectations, but because they're just like me.

Thanks for relating from your experience. I just read some comments from most men here and shake my head.

Can anyone of them pray to end up with women who doesn't love them at all? I pity them If their answer is yes
I understand I do not have luxury of time as a woman, but I'm just making them know that not every woman should be bullied coz it's like most men on this forum derive joy from that( what I've observed over the years I've been on this platform).

Aladdin1:
How can you not find someone you like or dat likes you? You better go for deliverance now earlier the better.this your case is not ordinary and its likely caused from the marine kingdom issues.a woman is wired naturaly to love a man,who shows love for her.what if you find someone that you love but does not love you.my advice to you is you better look for solution to your problem.cos something is definitely wrong with you.

Toor. Will you comma deliver me?

Stargurl20:
Toor. Will you comma deliver me?

Toh! God will deliver you! Wailai!

Aladdin1:
Toh! God will deliver you! Wailai!

Aameen

Using my newly acquired redpill lens to read this thread just makes me laugh

Mother nature and father time will happen to everybody

It baffles me a 37 year old lady is still living in delusion lala land, when studies show at that age fertility is declining and even child birth comes with certain risk.

Ma'am its not a believe system or social construct, its simple BIOLOGY, with each passing year, you are getting closer to menopause.

Outliers and exceptions are statistically insignificant, I know some people might say "what if she doesn't want to have kids or marry" but majority of ladies are aiming for marriage and family,

so her situation/opinion/advise is cancerous to the larger percentage of ladies who it is advantageous to their biological proclivity to be in a marriage relationship at their prime when they are able to attract the best of suitors.

Stargurl20:
Good morning, everyone.

Not all women are intentionally over-selective, not all are arrogant, not all fight for equality with men, and not all badly behave. Life is just not fair to some. Thank you.

Good morning... Having taken my time to read it, I must say it was beautifully written...

Now, I don't think life works out the way we expect especially when it has to do with things we can't control... All of us are victims of happenstance, influences of societal norms, religion, culture, and so on... In other words, our desires are fine-tuned by these influences, not even those who might have the impression of how goodly there are, are free...

Yet, going by the structure of our society today that heralds the traditional idea of what marriage should be as regards gender roles, it's not just the women who are its victims. We have men forced to kill emotions because they are supposed to be strong and work hard by chasing their dreams while providing for their families. And the women, submissive, docile to become career home keeper... To the extent that everything about them is attributed to the goodliness or prowess of their husbands.

So, if a woman or a man doesn't play by the conditioning of society, seeks to live as they desire, there would be partners who are conditioned, would deem them "deviants."

Fortunately, the "deviants" would find more happiness in a "deviant" partner. However, if a "deviant" woman thinks she can live as she wants while being a wife to a conditioned man, there won't be happiness in her relationship, but clashes of interests. So, it is either she swallows her expectations and plays by the rules of society or gets out.

To truly live, we have to make our own rules, pick up those things that give us fulfillment, forsake the societal idea of gender roles, and look beyond the norm.

0neal:
Using my newly acquired redpill lens to read this thread just makes me laugh

Well, it's nice to know that you were tickled by some of the comments here, but for what it is worth, your grandstanding about your precious philosophy is infantile -- to put it mildly. And I doubt anybody here is significantly impressed with your "newly acquired redpill lens", nor do they care to know what special "wisdom" you've gleaned from it.

0neal:

It baffles me a 37 year old lady is still living in delusion lala land, when studies show at that age fertility is declining and even child birth comes with certain risk.

Then, prepare to get yourself even more baffled, because it is clear that you are out of touch with what's really going on in the world around you.

It's curious that you know so much about me to think that I'm living in la la land. I'll begin by pointing out to you that your statement here cloaks an implicit assumption (which even you may not be aware that you just made), that asserts EVERY woman wants to get married EVENTUALLY. Note the two words I have taken the liberty to capitalize. Not every woman cares for the married life. Women exist who aren't equipped for marriage, or interested in having children. Irrespective of similarities in age, gender, colour, etc., human beings have different objectives of which they ascribe momentous value to, and these objectives are fueled by their various distinct personalities*. You obviously know this, and yet I have to spell out such obvious platitude to you because of your specious assumptions.

Sometimes, the problem with social ideologies that play up to the interests of one exclusive gender like the Red Pill or Feminism is that the followers of these ideologies or movements usually have the tendency to presuppose that collective needs and interests are shared by ALL members of the opposing gender. This tendency gives rise to spurious arguments which often read more as shallow mind-reading from amateurs that claim to know what other people are possibly thinking, or what they want in their own lives.

Quite tragic and paradoxical, that your "newly acquired redpill lens" is giving you tunnel vision.

*Olivia E. Atherton, Emily Grijalva, Brent W. Roberts, Richard W. Robins. Stability and Change in Personality Traits and Major Life Goals From College to Midlife. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 2020; 014616722094936 DOI: 10.1177/0146167220949362

0neal:

Outliers and exceptions are statistically insignificant, I know some people might say "what if she doesn't want to have kids or marry" but majority of ladies are aiming for marriage and family, so her situation/opinion/advise is cancerous to the larger percentage of ladies who it is advantageous to their biological proclivity to be in a marriage relationship at their prime when they are able to attract the best of suitors.

I'm not sure whose posts you are addressing in this floating rejoinder, so I almost ignored it. The only reason I replied to you is because you made a statement in this reply that seems to have been targeted at me and one of my posts. If that's the case, then I think you need to start over and read all my submissions on this thread very carefully.

Women have different needs when it comes to getting married. Some get married because they want social acceptance -- they feel people will have more respect and admiration for them if they do. Others do it for financial security and so on.

My advice was targeted to Stargurl20 specifically -- it wasn't intended to be a general advice for all young ladies. Stargurl20 wants to get married, but not to a person she can't connect with on a personal and emotional level. I can relate to her situation and I know that there are other girls like this. If Stargurl is as she describes herself in her OP and her subsequent posts, then it makes sense to conclude that she will understandably be depressed in a relationship where she feels no meaningful emotional connection to her partner. And when I inquired of her, she admitted that societal pressure is one of the reasons she is unhappy about not being married.

The only thing cancerous here is the fact that there are people like you coercing and shaming young impressionable women to pair up and reproduce on time, even if they aren't mentally or emotionally prepared, because the "majority of ladies are aiming for marriage and family". This leads to the impulsive need for young women to "put a ring on it" and merely assume the best. And you wonder why divorce rates are high in the country.

I've not tried to discourage anyone from getting married. You are the one having misapprehensions about what I've said here. The import of my posts are manifest to those who can read objectively, and without aid from some fancy new lens. You can't force everyone into the same fixed marriage expectation model.

Just one question to the lady above me

ARE YOU MARRIED

okay let's make it two
Where do you reside


How about three
How old are you ma'am?

Treat as urgent

uche40:


Well, it's nice to know that you were tickled by some of the comments here, but for what it is worth, your grandstanding about your precious philosophy is infantile --

I saw the flaw you pointed out in my post, yes you weren't advising young ladies not to get married, I am sorry for my sharp shooting

The only thing cancerous here is the fact that there are people like you coercing and shaming young impressionable women to pair up and reproduce on time, even if they aren't mentally or emotionally prepared, because the "majority of ladies are aiming for marriage and family". This leads to the impulsive need for young women to "put a ring on it" and merely assume the best. And you wonder why divorce rates are high in the country.

Where is the Coercion in my post??

Stating simple biological wiring is not shaming young ladies, everybody is free to do whatever they want to do, having it in mind that the past, present and future are interconnected.

bobontop:


Feelings, Feelings, Feelings! You are making the same mistake that has kept many women unmarried or lateness in marriage. Follow the wisdom of God, it's is for your own good:

1. God never commanded a woman to love her husband. He only asked you to submit to your husband.

What you call feeling (love) is not your duty If you find a man that genuinely love you and treats you like a queen, you better follow him.

New King James Version
Titus 2:4.

4. that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children.

Right from the bible..

The feelings will come later.

This is just about why some couples become bitter people in life. At least feel something


2. Love that lasts is not founded on feeling but on informed decision. Also these nonsense you people watch in Nollywood movies has deceived many of you girls. Romantic feeling comes and goes. You don't build a lasting relationship on romantic feeling... ask your mother. If successful marriage is built on romantic feeling Nollywood Stars would have had the best marriages. Successful marriage and but on commitment and decision to make it work.
You better jettison this childish notion of rejecting committed, responsible proposers because of feeling. Girls like you fall for empty vessels that have sweet tongues because you are looking for poetic Nollywood romance. Men that have something to offer are not very romantic. They are busy people and men of action.

[s]They meet you today in six months they have paid your Dowry.[/s]

You better open your eyes and check for the following;

1. Their Marital Status,. No go become second wife.

2. Salvation Status,. Do they genuinely love, serve and honor GOD?

3. Character Check. Bible says,

Proverbs 22:24-25
New King James Version (NKJV)
Make no friendship with an angry man, And with a furious man do not go, Lest you learn his ways And set a snare for your soul.

Proverbs 21:19.
New King James Version
Better to dwell in the wilderness, Than with a contentious and angry woman.

If you don't do your check, you go collect after you say i do.

4...
5...
6..
Wish I can type everything that will be helpful

But, if you rush in.. you will rush out.

All those jobless efulefus that are looking for free sex, will call you 24 times in a day and write long poems like Shakespeare and end up wasting your destiny and destroying your life. The efulefus are the kind of people girl like you fall for.
Sorry if I am very blunt. I just want to help you and many other innocent but naive girls out there.

Marry someone you know very well, becomes friends first and then become lovers.. List is long but let me stick a pen here.

[s]If a man loves a woman very much, even if they woman doesn't love him, their marriage will work[/s]

Guys open your eyes, don't love in vain, watch her/him reciprocate, because If the women is a narcissist, she will show you shege at the end. People open your eyes and don't rush.. ..


Infact you the woman will enjoy the marriage more because the man will spend his whole life trying to win your love. But you as a woman, in the name of looking for feeling marry a man who doesn't really cherish you, you have entered hell fire.

It's is the same with sex. A woman most times is not in the mood, but if she submits to her husband in obedience to God, the feelings will come and she will enjoy also.

Finally, must girls who have spiritual husband doesn't have feeling for the right men that will better their lives. Those wicked spirit husbands will will supply plenty of feelings when the efulefus come around so as to deal with the lady. You better beware and be wise... good marriage is not based on feelings... except in Nollywood.

I will presume you are not advocating that you don't need to know the man well, just marry him if he loves you and love will set in is a trap.
Try it and you will probably end up a bitter person..

0neal:


I saw the flaw you pointed out in my post, yes you weren't advising young ladies not to get married, I am sorry for my sharp shooting

Apology accepted. I find honesty like this refreshing.

0neal:

Where is the Coercion in my post??

Stating simple biological wiring is not shaming young ladies, everybody is free to do whatever they want to do, having it in mind that the past, present and future are interconnected.

You really don't see how asserting that ladies are better suited for marriage when they are younger, by appealing to their biological wiring and configuration, can possibly mount pressure on a young woman to get married? Its largely synonymous with a common banality often phrased to women in the statement "you're not getting any younger".

uche40:


Apology accepted. I find honesty like this refreshing.

You owe me an apology too, for dissing my brand new redpill lens

You really don't see how asserting that ladies are better suited for marriage when they are younger, by appealing to their biological wiring and configuration, can possibly mount pressure on a young woman to get married? Its largely synonymous with a common banality often phrased to women in the statement "you're not getting any younger".

Biology is not bigotry

I'd argue that the plethora of attention/proposals most BEAUTIFUL young ladies in their prime get from men often over-inflate their ego and make them flaky and picky, a typical example is the OP of this thread.

The pressure mostly comes from external observers like concerned parents and relatives.

Most 35 Yr old lady will not look as beautiful as she was 10yrs ago

0neal:


You owe me an apology too, for dissing my brand new redpill lens

I must confess, the way you introduced yourself to the thread, making snide jabs at some comments here and brandishing your "newly acquired redpill lens" as the sole reason for your assumed superior thought process left me cringed out. I'm usually very wary of gender extremists, be it Red Pill or Feminists.

I just thought it was childish and irrelevant, but if you took it personally then I sincerely apologize and seek your forgiveness

0neal:
Biology is not bigotry

True. However, I don't think I ever made such equivocation in my posts.

0neal:

I'd argue that the plethora of attention/proposals most BEAUTIFUL young ladies in their prime get from men often over-inflate their ego and make them flaky and picky, a typical example is the OP of this thread.

I agree a 100 percent. The truth is that a lot of young girls get carried away when they're younger because of attention from horn.y men and boys. I'd say it's even way worse now with social media and the advent of TikTok where any bland-looking Plain Jane thinks she's hot and sexy because of media likes, follows and interactions. All produced by the same shameless men, or SIMPS, as you redpillers put it .

I still insist that it's not a one size fits all though. If you have taken notice of my posts, I try not to make the mistake of painting all men or women with the same brush. I'll reiterate that I believe the purpose of this thread is to aid girls like Stargurl20 who, I believe based on her OP, are genuinely seeking meaningful companionship, and are not inebriated by their physical elements or obsessed with status. I wont fail to note though that these attributes are not all mutually exclusive -- no matter, at the end of the day, I just think it's about being honest with oneself.

In the meantime, can you direct me to any of Stargurl20's posts which definitely confirms for you that she has an "over-inflated ego"? I must confess, I haven't read EVERY single post here, so maybe I missed something. At any rate, humans are largely egotistical, which drives us to look out for our own needs and desires first and foremost before other things. Altruism (pure selflessness) is painfully rare. I believe anybody with an "over-inflated" ego would be a borderline narcissist though (probably suffering from NPD).

As much as I find some of the Red Pill tenets and doctrines to be bogus in some instances, I still think its' admonishment to boys and men to improve their self-worth and set standards for themselves -- to think with their heads, and not with their dicks -- is particularly noble. If men could accomplish this feat, it would greatly diminish the number of self-important young girls who tend to be flaky, picky and fixated on superficial features.

pansophist:
most people marry who they love, but it's the wrong strategy. It is to ''love who you marry''. The former is based on feelings, and the latter is based on an informed decision. Feelings are what is keeping many girls single, they are waiting for the guy that will give them butterflies. It is wrong. Start listening to Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo and his wife, Mildred, these couples will clean your brain for this dirt modern society has deposited into it.

If you find a man that treats you like a queen, genuinely loves you, and wants to build a future with you, then love him. Butterflies are fleeting because when life's difficulties and responsibilities show up, you will appreciate a good man. Butterfly doesn't pay rent, protect and provide, lead and not bring trouble to you.

The same excuse you have that you haven't seen someone you fell in love with, is also the same excuse millions of unmarried women in their 30s have. Don't make such a mistake. Because you have feelings for a man doesn't make him good. It's a jackpot to love someone that happens to be a good man, but your primary duty is about his goodness first, then feelings. So the price you pay is to sacrifice feelings for what truly matters, which is a long-lastinf fulfilling union.

Follow who?

The man that is preaching pro divorce and remarry doctrine while your partner is alive?
That nonsense is not in the bible.

I no support this advice..

uche40:


I must confess, the way you introduced yourself to the thread, making snide jabs at some comments here and brandishing your "newly acquired redpill lens" as the sole reason for your assumed superior thought process left me cringed out. I'm usually very wary of gender extremists, be it Red Pill or Feminists.

I just thought it was childish and irrelevant, but if you took it personally then I sincerely apologize and seek your forgiveness

Its the other way round, you took my first post personally, I did not quote you directly, the facts I stated got you triggered

I agree a 100 percent. The truth is that a lot of young girls get carried away when they're younger because of attention from horn.y men and boys. I'd say it's even way worse now with social media and the advent of TikTok where any bland-looking Plain Jane thinks she's hot and sexy because of media likes, follows and interactions. All produced by the same shameless men, or SIMPS, as you redpillers put it .

You are dissing Mark Zuckerberg and his colleagues for inventing technology serious people use to give their creative work or business exposure?

Your grievances should be directed to the philanderious men using the platforms

As much as I find some of the Red Pill tenets and doctrines to be bogus in some instances, I still think its' admonishment to boys and men to improve their self-worth and set standards for themselves -- to think with their heads, and not with their dicks -- is particularly noble. If men could accomplish this feat, it would greatly diminish the number of self-important young girls who tend to be flaky, picky and fixated on superficial features.

You are right

If it's not too much stress for you can you point out the tenets you find bogus?

placeofallure:


You don't understand OP's point when she said ... somebody you feel next to nothing for... You didn't understand probably because you are a man. If a woman feels nothing for you, even sighting you alone can cause convulsion or vomiting. Very irritable! Men can sleep with anything and anyone, dunno how they possibly do that but women cannot. How do you now go into marriage, a lifetime thing, with such? Is that not suicide mission? Cheating on him will not even solve the problem!

Do this mean hookup and call girls feel something for the men they open their legs for?

0neal:


Its the other way round, you took my first post personally, I did not quote you directly

You may not have quoted me directly but your post was a direct rejoinder to my replies on this thread. Hence why I felt obligated to make a response and defend my position. It wasn't me taking what you wrote personally per se. It was just me trying to correct any misgivings about my argument because it seemed to me like you were drawing a lot of absurd conclusions from what I was saying.

0neal:
You are dissing Mark Zuckerberg and his colleagues for inventing technology serious people use to give their creative work or business exposure?

Lol. Read what I said again. You weren't following. The shameless SIMPS I was referring to are infact the "philanderous men using the platform", as you put it -- who supply these girls with likes and sleep in their comment sections.

0neal:

If it's not too much stress for you can you point out the tenets you find bogus?

There's a lot to think about, but one that easily comes to mind is a common truism I see restated among a lot of Red Pill authors is that women secretly want to be dominated and told what to do by men. I can confirm for myself that it's simply not true.

Stargurl20:
Good morning, everyone.

So, I've been reading certain trending posts on this forum about women's late marriage lately.
And having gone through most comments, I realized that certain people are ignorant ( I'm sorry if this sounds rude), some are not but chose to be wicked and heartless with their comments, some were mature, empathetic, and mild with their comments ( kudos to you guys).

I will take my self as an example. I understand there are greedy, materialistic, rude , arrogant feministic women etc. Out there

However, they are some virtuous women who were just so unlucky to have life offer them nothing, or opposites of their desires( I understand we can't always get all we want in life).

I as a case study, i'm a young girl of 23. As much as I do not pray for wretchedness or poverty ( let's be sincere with ourselves, no one wishes for that) I've never been moved by material things owned by a man. Not cars, not houses, or his worth in cash. Yet, the fact that I haven't found someone I feel even the smallest of feelings for has kept me out of relationship. To me, one sided love is unfair to the one whose love isn't reciprocated. I understand love isn't enough in marriage, but we can't ignore the fact that it's its foundation. I've rejected certain proposals that I personally feel bad that I fear i might even end up alone, but at the same time I can't deceive or pretend to love someone I do not love, cause even the presence of the person let alone his touch will irritate me. I just can't see my self doing that. I'm not making this post to portray myself as righteous or a good girl or whatever you guys might call it, but I just want many of the commenters bashing women to know that there millions of women like me out there, who are still unmarried because they chose not to be deceitful, but yet, life hasn't smiled at them.
Not all women is intentionally over selective, not all is arrogant, not all fight equality with men, not all is badly behaved. Life is just not fair to some. Thank you.

Most women pay the consequences of what they did in their younger days ... that's why I dont pity any woman looking for husband ... them full my area incase any guy want to help their LIVES sha .. shebi una want "prince charming in a shiny armour "

uche40:



Lol. Read what I said again. You weren't following. The shameless SIMPS I was referring to are infact the "philanderous men using the platform", as you put it -- who supply these girls with likes and sleep in their comment sections.

Ooh
We are on the same page on that then, reason why those men need to be redpill aware, falling for ladies social media thirst trap will reduce

There's a lot to think about, but one that easily comes to mind is a common truism I see restated among a lot of Red Pill authors is that women secretly want to be dominated and told what to do by men. I can confirm for myself that it's simply not true.

You being an exception doesn't negate hard-wired biological trait research done by renowned behavioural and evolutionary psychologist, has shown majority of women want in men

0neal:

You being an exception doesn't negate hard-wired biological trait research done by renowned behavioural and evolutionary psychologist, has shown majority of women want in men

Well...duh. Obviously distinctions in the behavioral patterns between men and women exist, and these distinctions are informed by our different biological configurations.

We are a dimorphic species with hundreds of thousands of years and sexual divergence between us, so these conclusions from a biological trait research should be expected. Nevertheless, can we really tell what aspects of our sexual divergence are biological, and what aspects are social? Or where there are any overlaps? I personally don't think there's any clear cut methodology to determine this.

And even if there were, it is still important to note that preference is a spectrum. The findings of the study you are alluding to cannot realistically be extrapolated in the way that you presume. Something else you should consider is that it isn't particularly common for people to publicly declare their true preferences and interests accurately because of the pervasive nature of "mainstream" preferences. Some women like guys with hairy balls, others like their men clean shaved.

Gender groupings can definitely be predicated on biological configurations, but not on a common collective psychology.

McEphiks:



Do this mean hookup and call girls feel something for the men they open their legs for?

Hook up, call girls? May you not have any reason to become one. Those ones are not normal human beings.