bukatyne:


What changed in you uncle's marriage?

Did they have a good marriage in Nigeria?

Not 'Nigerian' definition of good marriage. A marriage where they were both happy and respectable to themselves.

They had a money induced marriage if you ask me. I believe expectations were high from the wife's part and when she got there she saw something higher if you know what I mean.

EBMedia:
A human right lawyer, Bolanle, has decried the high rate of divorce among ‘happily married' Nigerian couples after they relocate to the UK, IGBERETV reports.

He wrote on his Twitter handle;



https://twitter.com/BolanleCole/status/1657282890005196800?t=03ImUcp6y2jvwnJ8xWaP6A&s=19

So migrants from Nigeria are getting divorced after just 2 years in the UK? Where is the data that actually backs up this assertion?

Does this human rights lawyer understand that a Japarian family would always have a lead-sponsor? One who is ultimately responsible for ensuring that all documents are in order for the end goal - naturalisation?

Does the lawyer understand that average time even for a no-fault divorce is between 6 and 8 months at present?

If you can pay,I get admission

Jennyclay:
Biko, Someone should come and take me to U.k, honestly I won’t end the relationship/marriage

wonder233:
The simple reason is that the UK, like most places in the west is a place of freedom and economic empowerment especially for females. This brings out the true nature of Nigerian females who have been married purely for economic reasons which originates from vacuous trado-religious beliefs.
So a lady who sees it as an anathema for a woman to earn money is suddenly in a clime where she earns her own money at par or even more than the man. She automatically disregards him and leaps to the new found freedom of sleeping around with different men, which has always been their true nature, but are forced to conceal with false modesty cos of the conservative Nigerian society

Aptly and well put

Acidosis:

The important question is which religion has the highest divorce rate in the UK?

Marriage originated from religion and cultural practices. Divorce will be higher when you drift away from both.

This is another interesting take.

I know that the Asians are doing well familywise and one of their unique qualities is 'they do not deviate from their culture and are a closely knit community'.

I would take a leap and also assume that Muslims don't have a spike in the divorce rates because they are 'same' everywhere. While there are different levels of devotion in Islam, there is no 'modern' version. No Muslim (no matter how rich or 'exposed') would tell you Homosexuality is 'ok' or hijab is wrong or disagree on the definition of decent/indecent dressing.

However, when you come to Christianity, there are levels of modernity that a true Christian would feel out of place and wonder if it is the same Bible we are referencing.

It is sad.

eben97:
need me to go into details please ?

Yes please 😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣 😂 😃 😀

Then we discuss how to remove the subsidy when removing that of fuel.

JovialJune:



Very funny

The problem with you Nigerian men is that you think all the nonsense permitted in our society which you get away with, also applies there when you travel out, very funny.

There are so many women earning their living in Nigeria because the economy permits it, there are so many women earning more than their husbands in this Nigeria, so what exactly is the difference between Nigeria and U.K?

The real reason why Nigeriaan women refuse to take your bullshit abroad is because you think you can eat your cake and have it, the constant polygamous in nature bs, treating her like she is nothing, cheating anyhow, controlling mindset with subjugation and dominance, will not be tolerated in a society where people's mental state and health especially that of women is important for a sane and functioning society, unlike here that it is expected of women to remain in abusive marriages because society says so.

If you like keep being pained that Nigerian women are on a fvcking spree same as you men that take pride in it, something that has been going on and rampant in Nigeria what exactly will be the difference abroad? How exactly is it a new found freedom?

You nl boys really over rate yourselves sha.

You again
Iyaebethegreat is that you, is like dem ban because of too much hot vawulence

xynerise:

They had a money induced marriage if you ask me. I believe expectations were high from the wife's part and when she got there she saw something higher if you know what I mean.

Hmmmmmm

So it was more of a marriage of convenience which worked in Nigeria because the husband could perform financially?

I wish him all the best.

I am curious though: weren't the signs there? Or he thought she would still be satisfied with him after getting to the UK?

obinna58:

You again
Iyaebethegreat is that you, is like dem ban because of too much hot vawulence

Fvck off from my moniker.

I don't blame the women,I blame the men who refused to learn and kept on doing the same fu.....ing thing

JovialJune:


Fvck off from my moniker.

Reduce your vawulence, you’ll go crazy

Women are more likely to find financial elevation and independence quicker in these foreign countries.

The day your wife starts earning enough to not depend on you in any of these countries, the dynamics of the relationship is very quickly likely to change.

In Nigeria, however successful a wife is, she will think twice (may be 10 times) before summoning the courage to tell her husband, my dear please wash the plates in the kitchen, wash the clothes and spread them outside, and tidy up the room and the toilets.

But abroad, na so your prim, previously holier than thou (when in Nigeria) wife go call you from work one day and tell you she's going on a night out with colleagues from work and remind you to do those things I mentioned above. Fear no go gree you ask why she want go out for drinks.

Na then you go no say, levels have changed. You wey you be 'oga' for Nigeria, for London, na just House man you be o. You do anyhow, you see anyhow

By the way, your wife who used to say divorce is 'over her dead body' in Nigeria will be so happy divorcing you in the UK.

That's not to say married people should not relocate abroad, but just know that however tight you feel your marriage is in Nigeria, moving abroad immediately increases the likelihood of that marriage failing within the next 7 years by at least 50%.

Please don't make the mistake of saying it can never happen to your family o. The people divorcing abroad also believed it could never happen to them.

Nigerian men be destroying their marriages in UK because they can't see their wives as independent human beings who can question their actions.
Nigeria supports their abuse but the UK doesn't allow that rubbish; hence the women out of desperation, prefer to run their own ship instead of running a ship where when you see a destructive wave you can't stir away because Oga will say he is the head and he has chosen to enter the wave as the head of the ship.

bukatyne:


This is another interesting take.

I know that the Asians are doing well familywise and one of their unique qualities is 'they do not deviate from their culture and are a closely knit community'.

I would take a leap and also assume that Muslims don't have a spike in the divorce rates because they are 'same' everywhere. While there are different levels of devotion in Islam, there is no 'modern' version. No Muslim (no matter how rich or 'exposed') would tell you Homosexuality is 'ok' or hijab is wrong or disagree on the definition of decent/indecent dressing.

However, when you come to Christianity, there are levels of modernity that a true Christian would feel out of place and wonder if it is the same Bible we are referencing.

It is sad.

Deep!!!

Few weeks back Solomon Buchi asked CHRISTIAN WOMEN if they must wear revealing bikinis and "christian women" came for him. They asked him whether they should wear agbada. But Muslim women have been going to the beach. They also engage in swimming competition and gymastics. Many times we would see them fight to have standards tweaked for them and we think they are fanatics or just petulant .

So, must you wear a bikini that shows all your womanhood?

Finally someone said he is asking christian women, not omo wobes. Because it looks like omo wobes were the ones responding.

---

Anyway, Islam has modern ones too. I had a muslim boss and I currently have a muslim friend. They are two different humans and I asked my friend, why do you cover this and that. I wanted her to be as "trendy" as my boss. Her hair veil is al-amira (thanks to Gloriousgbola for teaching me) and I wanted her to use a scarf or hijab. I saw my boss's waistline, but I have never seen my friend's own OUTSIDE. She told me just like in christianity, they also have different sets and levels to adherence. There are muslim non-hijabites. Only during Ramadan you would see those ones cover hair.

By the way, muslims also have a high rate of divorce in (Northern) Nigeria. You don't know because there are other wives and you can't easily tell one left. And no matter how old she is, another man would marry her. They are not as clueless as you think o. They just do their things quietly and move on. Maybe because their religion has a ruling on everything. So they already know how to settle the matter.

DeLaRue:
Women are more likely to finds financial elevation and independence quicker in these foreign countries.

The day your wife starts earning enough to not depend on you in any of these countries, the dynamics of the relationship is very quickly likely to change.

And it was bound to change cause most Nigerian marriages thrive on the man being financially better. It is a boost to their ego to lord over their wives with their wealth. Any change to the status quo brings about cracks and crevices in the marriage. Even in Nigeria where the wife is the money maker, marriages like this develop cracks, not to talk of when they relocate to the west where she's not bound by customs and traditions to manage such marriages.

Jennyclay:
Biko, Someone should come and take me to U.k, honestly I won’t end the relationship/marriage

is that your real picture? You look sexy

wonder233:
The simple reason is that the UK, like most places in the west is a place of freedom and economic empowerment especially for females. This brings out the true nature of Nigerian females who have been married purely for economic reasons which originates from vacuous trado-religious beliefs.
So a lady who sees it as an anathema for a woman to earn money is suddenly in a clime where she earns her own money at par or even more than the man. She automatically disregards him and leaps to the new found freedom of sleeping around with different men, which has always been their true nature, but are forced to conceal with false modesty cos of the conservative Nigerian society

You have said so much in one statement. Once a lady knows she can now get whatever she wants from her purse without waiting for the man like they used to do in Nigeria.

bukatyne:


This is another interesting take.

I know that the Asians are doing well familywise and one of their unique qualities is 'they do not deviate from their culture and are a closely knit community'.

I would take a leap and also assume that Muslims don't have a spike in the divorce rates because they are 'same' everywhere. While there are different levels of devotion in Islam, there is no 'modern' version. No Muslim (no matter how rich or 'exposed') would tell you Homosexuality is 'ok' or hijab is wrong or disagree on the definition of decent/indecent dressing.

However, when you come to Christianity, there are levels of modernity that a true Christian would feel out of place and wonder if it is the same Bible we are referencing.

It is sad.

Absolutely correct and well-stated.

Jennyclay:
Biko, Someone should come and take me to U.k, honestly I won’t end the relationship/marriage

You serious

[color=#006600][/color]

Mindlog:
Were they truly "happily married" while still in Nigeria?

The Nigerian environment tends to subsidize a lot of unhealthy marriages and then tagged a "happy marriage".

A lot of things need unlearning but some are stuck in their ways... one said it was emasculating doing the dishes.😆😆😆

That reminds me of a draft dissertation of a Nigerian Psychology postgraduate student, I read and it was really insightful as it focused on the breakdown in marital relationships of some Nigerian migrants to the UK as the focus.

The project detailed how the UK system hits hard on Nigerian husbands who are so high on control and submission as the UK system deflates these. The researcher also brought up the demystication of income which counters many threads here that advocates a man should not let his wife know how much his income is but here in the UK, the wife knows it before it even reaches the man's account and the system forces the couples to be more open about their finances and they are forced to make joint decisions as it forces accountable leadership on husbands as against the lordship status, they "enjoyed" in Nigeria ....d person write many, many for the dissertation.😆😆😆😆

thanks a million.. many 98% of married women in Nigeria are not happily married. We just the manage union with lots of bottled up anger and retaliation, the patch the marriage they go because of the way our society is configured. When we reach climes were we are not judged by broken marriages, one small mistake from the man, we will open up our bottle up anger, and over pressure from within the bottle will do the rest for us.

Jennyclay:
Biko, Someone should come and take me to U.k, honestly I won’t end the relationship/marriage

Unapologetic feminist like you?

The Nigeria system supports ill treatment for ladies here .

Lol, the system encourages that.

madridguy:
It is too much freedom.

Well, to me I still blame the men in such position, I no go sell my property, borrow money for us to travel you come reach foreign land make you come say you no do again. E no possible. We must talk am very well before we comot for Naija.

Talking may not make much difference. She will still deceive you and go there to mess up.

Jennyclay:
Biko, Someone should come and take me to U.k, honestly I won’t end the relationship/marriage

That’s what the other women were saying. Immediately they get there, some evil ones tell them how they can push out the husband and get his house etc. Shall I say women are opportunistic people when they get their so called freedom.

It's a different world here. It is truly an AI world and people are programmed to do things in certain robotic ways. While your world there is hypnotic, people are programmed to remain stagnant and immobile. And when the two worlds collide, the result tends to be chaotic.

If they were happily married in Nigeria?
Marriages in Nigeria are SHAM and SCAM marriages. . . only done out of economic hardship and social oppression.
You don't need marriage to survive outside Nigeria, the reason freedom becomes sweet outside Nigeria.
You don't have to sacrifice your peace of mind on the altar of relationship or marriage for any reason.

Those who are 'HAPPILY-MARRIED' remain happily-married if the relocate outside Nigeria. . .Unless situations change for the worse, or you find better options .
No condition is permanent.

JovialJune:


Shut the fvck off and mind your business

How does it affect your lives existence if women are lonely at age 40 and 50?

Me me me yes me, it's no one's fault you do not put yourself first in any situation you find yourself, grow up and practice what we call self love, care and dignity.

The same loneliness is what a Nigerian man paid 40 million naira to a friend of mine cos he is lonely in the UK, you think it's only women that do such, senselessness.

Go and change your menstrual pad instead of shouting here online. Some of us are not your mates ,we have gone far in life MUMU

malcom1X:
The man fails to work on himself or improve himself. When he reaches there.

Indians, Chinese, Kenyans, people who are more educated than an average Nigerian do this same thing but you'll never hear them divorce. They settle their family issues.

But Nigerian women?


Hmmm 🤔

Please stop talking what you know nothing about. Nigerians are the most educated immigrants in UK and US. The other groups too also have high rate of divorce. But marriage is out of fashion for them, so no noise is heard about divorce among them. Nigerians are still traditional with marriage, thats why you hear them talking of divorce.

pocohantas:


Deep!!!

1. Few weeks back Solomon Buchi asked CHRISTIAN WOMEN if they must wear revealing bikinis and "christian women" came for him. They asked him whether they should wear agbada. But Muslim women have been going to the beach. They also engage in swimming competition and gymastics. Many times we would see them fight to have standards tweaked for them and we think they are fanatics or just petulant .

So, must you wear a bikini that shows all your womanhood?

2. Finally someone said, he is asking christian women, not omo wobes. Because it looks like omo wobes were the ones responding.

---

3. Anyway, Islam has modern ones too. I had a muslim boss and I currently have a muslim friend. They are two different humans and I asked my friend, why do you cover this and that. I wanted her to be as "trendy" as my boss. Her hair veil is al-amira (thanks to Gloriousgbola for teaching me) and I wanted her to use a scarf or hijab. I saw my boss's waistline, but I have never seen my friend's own OUTSIDE. She told me just like in christianity, they also have different sets and levels to adherence. There are muslim non-hijabites. Only during Ramadan you would see those ones cover hair.

4. By the way, muslims also have a high rate of divorce in (Northern) Nigeria. You don't know because there are other wives and you can't easily tell one left. And no matter how old she is, another man would marry her. They are not as clueless as you think o. They just do their things quietly and move on. Maybe because their religion has a ruling on everything. So they already know how to settle the matter.

1 & 2. It is disheartening when 'Christian' men & women try so hard to conform to the world that you are left speechless. Some omo wobes have more decency than 'Christians' today although God's standards do not change. Muslim women designed a beach wear that is all covered up. 2021 Christmas during part of my beach trips, I saw a fully covered Muslim woman dancing on the beach. You could see pure undiluted fun. TBH, I deeply admire their desire to be set apart, the desire not to tint their religion with the world although I till think those wanting us to bend rules for them are petulant

3. That's why I said there are levels of devotion. But don't be surprised that your trendy boss would become more covered up in future. Had a boss like that too Irrespective of level of devotion, an average Muslim woman & man is decently dressed. They agree on the tenets of their religion, the willingness and strength to follow is another thing.

4. I agree with you. I believe if a man doesn't provide, she can divorce him. They also have rulings on when the men can divorce. I remember when Kano state Governor organised mass marriage for the divorced women However, they are not affected by the increased divorced rates due to relocation. What a Nigerian muslim wife would not take in UK, she would not take in Kano. She is the same with same expectations everywhere.

Sometimes when I think of the way we Christians metamorphosize to fit the world so bad, it gives me an headache.

JovialJune:



Very funny

The problem with you Nigerian men is that you think all the nonsense permitted in our society which you get away with, also applies there when you travel out, very funny.

There are so many women earning their living in Nigeria because the economy permits it, there are so many women earning more than their husbands in this Nigeria, so what exactly is the difference between Nigeria and U.K?

The real reason why Nigeriaan women refuse to take your bullshit abroad is because you think you can eat your cake and have it, the constant polygamous in nature bs, treating her like she is nothing, cheating anyhow, controlling mindset with subjugation and dominance, will not be tolerated in a society where people's mental state and health especially that of women is important for a sane and functioning society, unlike here that it is expected of women to remain in abusive marriages because society says so.

If you like keep being pained that Nigerian women are on a fvcking spree same as you men that take pride in it, something that has been going on and rampant in Nigeria what exactly will be the difference abroad? How exactly is it a new found freedom?

You nl boys really over rate yourselves sha.

You're taking this thing too personal