pooozeee:
Mine did not get to two years before we got divorced. It was under 6months

cococandy:


Is it possible the way we socialize our men to view women might be the issue?

Are we going to be for real for once?

Righteousness2:
Real joy and satisfaction is not in travelling to the UK, America, France, etc.
Real peace is not in moving to Europe, asia, America, the middle east, Australia etc

Anywhere you are in the world, real joy and Satisfaction is only available in JESUS Christ.
There must be a conscious effort to know JESUS, Obey His word and live for JESUS Christ.

In JESUS Christ alone we find real peace in this troubled and sinking world.

delishpot:
Nigerian men be destroying their marriages in UK because they can't see their wives as independent human beings who can question their actions.
Nigeria supports their abuse but the UK doesn't allow that rubbish hence the women out of desperation prefer to run their own ship instead of running a ship where when you see destructive wave you can stir away because Oga will say he is the head and he has chosen to enter the wave as the head of the ship.

cococandy:
They all know the truth but let’s dance around the issue with bullshiet analysis The marriages where the men treat their wives well last. And I mean men who understand the importance of treating their wives how they want to be treated aka the true Christian way not the “misogyny in disguise packaged into religion” way

cococandy:
■ Even in Nigeria men share bills with their wives. The problem is they do that and still expect her to take on all the domestic responsibilities. Sharing bills has never been their issue. Their main problem is the expectation that the women be okay with disrespect

Hydroxide:
That's how women reason here in this part of the world. If a man hits money the first thing that comes to his mind, is looking for a good woman but when a woman hits money, the first thing that comes to her mind is being a Boss lady and she will brag she don't need any man.

Jennyclay:
if you also take me there is it a bad thing??

Jennyclay:
Biko, Someone should come and take me to U.k, honestly I won’t end the relationship/marriage

Kobojunkie:
It ain't even about being true Christians about as I equally know traditionalists who have similar respect their spouses. It is common sense to do in relationships really.

cococandy:


Even in Nigeria men share bills with their wives. The problem is they do that and still expect her to take on all the domestic responsibilities.

Sharing bills has never been their issue. Their main problem is the expectation that the women be okay with disrespect

Jennyclay:
Biko, Someone should come and take me to U.k, honestly I won’t end the relationship/marriage

Crafteck1:


Who go talk sey god call am if money no dey there bro

Mindlog:
Were they truly "happily married" while still in Nigeria?

The Nigerian environment tends to subsidize a lot of unhealthy marriages and then tagged a "happy marriage".

A lot of things need unlearning but some are stuck in their ways... one said it was emasculating doing the dishes.😆😆😆

That reminds me of a draft dissertation of a Nigerian Psychology postgraduate student, I read and it was really insightful as it focused on the breakdown in marital relationships of some Nigerian migrants to the UK as the focus.

The project detailed how the UK system hits hard on Nigerian husbands who are so high on control and submission as the UK system deflates these. The researcher also brought up the demystication of income which counters many threads here that advocates a man should not let his wife know how much his income is but here in the UK, the wife knows it before it even reaches the man's account and the system forces the couples to be more open about their finances and they are forced to make joint decisions as it forces accountable leadership on husbands as against the lordship status, they "enjoyed" in Nigeria ....d person write many, many for the dissertation.😆😆😆😆

PDJT:
■ -Few, not most, may share household bills in Nigeria, but not 50:50 as "equal partners" should. Most Nigerian women marry men above their socio-economic status and won't be able to share most of those bills anyway, and this leaves the men running against brick walls in order to keep the home going - a thankless job.-Perhaps, men who wants to get into this monogamous relationships needs to marry only women within their socio-economic status not below. This can go along way to normalise their relationships...

Ladyhippolyta88:
I go for like read this project oo.

PDJT:


-Few, not most, may share household bills in Nigeria, but not 50:50 as "equal partners" should. Most Nigerian women marry men above their socio-economic status and won't be able to share most of those bills anyway, and this leaves the men running against brick walls in order to keep the home going - a thankless job.

-Perhaps, men who wants to get into this monogamous relationships needs to marry only women within their socio-economic status not below. This can go along way to normalise their relationships...

-The African man is carrying too much of the burden to build a home, village, and city for his community and people. These things weigh men down and affect their mental health too. So let's cut the men some slack, and also stop nudging them on to keep on ruining their physical and mental health for the good of others especially women. The African woman must step-up and carry some, if not half, of the burden in order to earn some respect.

- As par the household chores, thats why Polygamy is there... more hands gets things done sooner and better, otherwise "partners" should invest in some white-goods and live their Europhile lifestyle in peace.

Mindlog:
Were they truly "happily married" while still in Nigeria?

The Nigerian environment tends to subsidize a lot of unhealthy marriages and then tagged a "happy marriage".

A lot of things need unlearning but some are stuck in their ways... one said it was emasculating doing the dishes.😆😆😆

That reminds me of a draft dissertation of a Nigerian Psychology postgraduate student, I read and it was really insightful as it focused on the breakdown in marital relationships of some Nigerian migrants to the UK as the focus.

The project detailed how the UK system hits hard on Nigerian husbands who are so high on control and submission as the UK system deflates these. The researcher also brought up the demystication of income which counters many threads here that advocates a man should not let his wife know how much his income is but here in the UK, the wife knows it before it even reaches the man's account and the system forces the couples to be more open about their finances and they are forced to make joint decisions as it forces accountable leadership on husbands as against the lordship status, they "enjoyed" in Nigeria ....d person write many, many for the dissertation.😆😆😆😆

Kobojunkie:
of what value or meaning is the statement in bold to this here subject?

cococandy:
I see your definition of reality is based on nairaland. I won’t be going back and forth with you on a clearly disingenuous premise.

JovialJune:



Very funny

The problem with you Nigerian men is that you think all the nonsense permitted in our society which you get away with, also applies there when you travel out, very funny.

There are so many women earning their living in Nigeria because the economy permits it, there are so many women earning more than their husbands in this Nigeria, so what exactly is the difference between Nigeria and U.K?

The real reason why Nigeriaan women refuse to take your bullshit abroad is because you think you can eat your cake and have it, the constant polygamous in nature bs, treating her like she is nothing, cheating anyhow, controlling mindset with subjugation and dominance, will not be tolerated in a society where people's mental state and health especially that of women is important for a sane and functioning society, unlike here that it is expected of women to remain in abusive marriages because society says so.

If you like keep being pained that Nigerian women are on a fvcking spree same as you men that take pride in it, something that has been going on and rampant in Nigeria what exactly will be the difference abroad? How exactly is it a new found freedom?

You nl boys really over rate yourselves sha.

PDJT:
■ The African man is carrying too much of the burden to build a home, village, and city for his community and people. These things weigh men down and affect their mental health too. So let's cut the men some slack, and also stop nudging them on to keep on ruining their physical and mental health for the good of others especially women. The African woman must step-up and carry some, if not half, of the burden in order to earn some respect.
■ As par the household chores, thats why Polygamy is there... more hands gets things done sooner and better, otherwise "partners" should invest in some white-goods and live their Europhile lifestyle in peace.

cococandy:
■ His solution to the problems in the marriage is for the men to marry more wives. because the women obviously are not human beings hence whatever the men have against sharing their wives with other men is not applicable to women. Like I said, they will promote everything dysfunctional except working on themselves to be more lovable husbands. They are not ready for solutions.

Kobojunkie:
of what value or meaning is the statement in bold to this here subject?

bukatyne:


TBH, any couple serious about japa today need to settle and agree on a lot of stuff before leaving like the poster I quoted yesterday opined especially if they run the 'Nigerian' marriage here.

Would like to read the dissertation. Did he also go a step further to compare and contrast with Asians?

xynerise:
The thing just tire me o. My uncle is going through same issue

Kobojunkie:
But no one holds a gun to their heads to cause them to choose these burdens for themselves. Why must the woman do anything when it is the men who continue to burden themselves in these ways?

2. So, in order to avoid doing chores, marrying more than one wife is what makes sense? Wow... and earlier, and here I was thinking you wanted men to carry on themselves fewer burdens?

keepingmum:


Pls could you point me to the dissertation? It ll make a good read please.

PDJT:
■ -Women are not a burden to real men. Only the Simps are burdened by women. -Sure, Polygamy makes more sense especially in today's world full of lazy postmodernist women. -And yes, if women wants equal respect they must share the burden 50:50. Deal?

PDJT:


-Few, not most, may share household bills in Nigeria, but not[b] 50:50 [/b]as "equal partners" should. Most Nigerian women marry men above their socio-economic status and won't be able to share most of those bills anyway, and this leaves the men running against brick walls in order to keep the home going - a thankless job.

-Perhaps, men who wants to get into this monogamous relationships needs to marry only women within their socio-economic status not below. This can go along way to normalise their relationships...

-The African man is carrying too much of the burden to build a home, village, and city for his community and people. These things weigh men down and affect their mental health too. So let's cut the men some slack, and also stop nudging them on to keep on ruining their physical and mental health for the good of others especially women. The African woman must step-up and carry some, if not half, of the burden in order to earn some respect.

- As par the household chores, thats why Polygamy is there... more hands gets things done sooner and better, otherwise "partners" should invest in some white-goods and live their Europhile lifestyle in peace.

PDJT:


-Whatever love. X