malcom1X:
■ You are right. But since they are just coming back from the city. They should be able to make good decisions for themselves

They are dead broke... according to OP. What good decisions can be made in that case?

AutoChick4U:
She did naw. You always the intelligent one not to have spotted it. Go read the post again

I just re-read it, she instead said he lost his job late last year. If he had in fact always been this way then the fault is majorly OP's who knew this yet decided even after to not only take in but also quit her own job. That would amount to the stupidity of the highest order on OP's part.

No follow am go anywhere I just come back From village dem say make we show we show dem begin. Play village politics we no agree last last popsy kick bucket.... Dem no like good things.....

Tough one. You have a baby, no money to renew your house rent, he has lost the zeal to keep on. If you have someone who can assist in getting a cheap accomodation, that can help in staying back in the city. From there, you can do some menial jobs to feed yourself and the children. Tell him to go and settle first, that you would join him later. You can not go to the village and start begging them to survive. By God's grace, things will look up for you before the expiration of the rent.

maasoap:

When are you relocating? Easier said than done

Oga the only reason Lagos is Lagos today in terms of population is because of it's money making opportunities. Except that Lagos is stressful and noisy to my likeness. And that same reason i am here today. Everyday i wish i am those in the villages who lives there and makes their money over there . Bro life in the villages is very calm . The cool 😎 smell of the environment, quiet sounds of the birds , quiet sounds of the night crickets , cool natural air . Toppled by natural food ingredients. Not fertilizer process agro products that is literted here in city markets . Na there u go see natural beauty of ladies and good character wife materials . Not all these city ones way go use saclux paint paint their faces come resemble bob risky. Your mental health go day Normal. There is nothing sweeter than living in the village and the fund is in your account and it keeps coming in back to back

Pootle:
na wa o a room self contain for 250k

250k wey the man go carry go village go start farm

DeeBaDan:



I've been in and out of over 200 villages between Lagos and Abuja. 90% of villages are inhabitable for city dwellers.

Story!

na2016:


Story!

Whatever !

Cloudflare:
Damn!

There are no opportunities in the village. A village is a rural settlement, there's absolutely nothing there. There's no money in the village. So what would he be doing there? I guess he'll be climbing trees and cutting down Palm kernels.

I see the OP doing runz and hookup sooner or later in the city.

Dear men, don't be pressurised into getting married when you're not financially stable. Make sure you have landed properties, lnvestments, good business before thinking about marriage. Don't be a salary earner (except of course it's FG job).

Baba, don't generalise, don't think that your village is like every other villages.

Cloudflare:
Damn!

There are no opportunities in the village. A village is a rural settlement, there's absolutely nothing there. There's no money in the village. So what would he be doing there? I guess he'll be climbing trees and cutting down Palm kernels.

I see the OP doing runz and hookup sooner or later in the city.

Dear men, don't be pressurised into getting married when you're not financially stable. Make sure you have landed properties, lnvestments, good business before thinking about marriage. Don't be a salary earner (except of course it's FG job).

Baba, don't generalise, don't think that your village is like every other villages.[i][/i]

Madam, village people don remember your husband, don't go that village o

Pretty sister pls don't be rude to him, any husband can be in this same conditions that is when most peoples around we be looking him as lazy man, give him courage pls, I understand that things was not easy presently.
Seat him down talk to him, then let both quite that bogus house rent to somewhere new site to rant just a room or room and parlour instead of relocate to village, then both of u can start a new life, going to village is not the best solution.

I no know say village they for u.s.a

Thebest12:


Oga the only reason Lagos is Lagos today in terms of population is because of it's money making opportunities. Except that Lagos is stressful and noisy to my likeness. And that same reason i am here today. Everyday i wish i am those in the villages who lives there and makes their money over there . Bro life in the villages is very calm . The cool 😎 smell of the environment, quiet sounds of the birds , quiet sounds of the night crickets , cool natural air . Toppled by natural food ingredients. Not fertilizer process agro products that is literted here in city markets . Na there u go see natural beauty of ladies and good character wife materials . Not all these city ones way go use saclux paint paint their faces come resemble bob risky. Your mental health go day Normal. There is nothing sweeter than living in the village and the fund is in your account and it keeps coming in back to back

Why are people telling the Op not to swap city for village? Opportunities

VeryWickedMan:
Honestly, this is sad.


I'm just pitying the unfortunate driver that will pack all una worthless and dirty ngbongbo to the village. All the konkom milo, ragolis mmanu and ekete onions and cartons wey poverty no let una throway.

Tueh!!

Pls think before you write.

Pacesetter2021:
but the free house gives her peace of mind and room to be creative and proactive.

Free things make you laid back.

She can start poultry and take her livestock to the city to sell and back.

She said the village is in the interior part of the state. The language barrier, the kids too, her life. So much to give up. Does it worth it? No!

Sometimes everything is not hustle hustle. Sometimes peace everything.

Only peace of mind is not enough. No peace of mind without money, most especially when you have responsibilities.

Even if it's just planting what can be feeding them, you are at peace and will live longer

The dynamics are changing by the day.

Everyone should aspire to be much more than just living from hand to mouth. You have kids whose futures need to be taken into consideration. There is need to hustle real hard. We did it too

dapadawee:

Farming

It has to be large scale and mechanised. Other than that, you're just a peasant farmer. And you don't have to relocate to village permanently

Don’t try it
Your husband has NFA (no future ambition) syndrome

Scale to a lower priced apartment or ask your landlord for time so you return to work

Once your kids go there they won’t release them to you and your children will end up like their dad or worse

Victor2707:
You came to the internet to bash your children's father.

You have no plan to get out of your situation, and your husband has devised a strategy for you.

If you try his plan and it doesn't work. You can always visit the city and make your own plans.

Stop looking for approval from strangers.

Consult your father or uncles for guidance.

This.

Poster if u know ur hubby can not make life meaningful in village dont go oo. Stay put in town and find a way to make ends meet . Village life is not the best ooo

momsloved:
Good afternoon everyone, pls I urgently need your advice and suggestions on this.

My husband has been out of job since towards the end of last year. Almost the same time I had my second baby. The truth is, the same me nursing my baby has been the same person struggling to provide for the home.

Knowing that he contributed to his lost of job. He goes to work late, different excuses, doing the job anyhow that the management had to fire him. This is the second job he's losing due to carelessness.
He wasn't still meeting up with responsibilities even when he had those jobs. He was always complaining of TP expenses, deduction due to late coming, his salaries was not benefiting us.

Our present accomodation of 250k, one bedroom apartment is expiring ending of next month and I don't know how we're going to pay for the rent. The previous rent I have always contributed when I had the money.
Presently I have no job. I left my job during delivery, but I'm hoping to start looking for job very soon. Yet, I'm not idle. I'm still trying with little business to cartar for the house.

The issue now is, he has arranged his stuffs preparing to relocate to the village and he wants us to go together because he can't afford to renew the rent.
I told him I can't go to the village with him, we are too young to start retiring to the village. What about good school for the children especially my first child? But he has decided to go without us, leaving us with the whole responsibilities.
I'm afraid, I can't afford everything here either. But going with him to the village is also very scary. A man who ignore us when there's nothing in the house, waiting for me to fix, how can I trust him and relocate with my two children to his village? I can't speak their language and it's an interior village, How do we survive there?
He's not even considering all these.
Pls, advice me on what to do. I'm really fed up.

Bring us your online inlaws.. 1 carton of Hennessy + 1 carton Glenfidich 18yrs… to judge this matter

DeeBaDan:



They would get affordable housing around boundary communities. Example. Ikorodu. Arepo. Mowe. Ofada. Sabo after Ikorodu

These are communities they'll get decent apartments without breaking the bank.

Same thing I meant, after getting the accommodation, isn't it almost same as going back to the village? Cos there are no jobs in those locations, and will still come back to the city center. Na transportation costs and stress go kill them.

thesicilian:
Technically we as strangers should have no say in how your home is run, that should be between you and your husband. You alone should decide whether you want to maintain your family unit and move with him to the village, or risk the possibility of a separation between husband and wife, father and children by refusing to go with him. Either one you choose will have its own advantages and consequences so think about it carefully.
A third option might be to help him look for any job that can persuade him to stay in the city

That your 3rd option is out of it., can you give such a man job?, someone that is not responsible., i would rather help the woman than the so called yeye man..

Madam., don't go with him, get a Job and take care of your kids., Na there type go show face for future to reap where they did not sow.,if possible stay away from that man forever.

Odidigboigbo:
Baba, don't generalise, don't think that your village is like every other villages.[i][/i]

Drop the name of your village and the state it's located let's ascertain the obvious.

You go tell me whether successful businessmen we have in Nigeria were in their villages doing businesses. Una go just dey talk anyhow. Why u no relocate to your village since there are opportunities there?

AutoChick4U:
Apart from that, is it cast in stone that married couples must procreate? Can't they plan and procreate when things are better?

As the OP this question bro. Na the OP open legs knack born pekin. No be me u suppose to dey ask

geezyk:
Same thing I meant, after getting the accommodation, isn't it almost same as going back to the village? Cos there are no jobs in those locations, and will still come back to the city center. Na transportation costs and stress go kill them.

It's not the same. Have you ever gone to remote villages you need 2-3 hours plus just to get to major roads ?

DeeBaDan:
Don't go. Let him go alone

You find a very cheap accomodation and do menial things you can do and make up to 50k per month. Like fried potato chips, fried plantain chips. Supply to shops. God will take care of you


When the chips are down, men drop professionalism.and go for what's available. If he can't forgo his pride and learn driver to get a car or bus he can drive and make daily income, divorce him. You don't need a loser as a mother of children. When things get tough, men ought to get tougher not fold up.


Going to village isn't proactive, productive, profitable or strategic. His inclinations as a man should tilt towards profitability not to recline to some nonsensical ideas. I travel.across multiple villages across the entire Nigeria. Let him go and try it for six months if he thinks the poverty in the city and that of the village are on the same.par

I love this take.

Ireportlive:




Growing up in the city , living in developed countries, I used to think village was all about what was shown in Nollywood

But I was wrong, a couple of years back I had a project in Kogi, Isanlu and this changed my perception

If he is going to the village, make sure it's for Agriculture or sales of agro commodity

This villagers live extremely cheap life, they use solar panels, eat cheap bush meat, buy fresh products, stay in cheap rented apartment, very serene quite almost dead environment, watch free to air Satellite TV



.

I don't know about your village but mine is extremely expensive. Petrol is very high and life is very hard.

I can't live in my village at all

momsloved:
Good afternoon everyone, pls I urgently need your advice and suggestions on this.

My husband has been out of job since towards the end of last year. Almost the same time I had my second baby. The truth is, the same me nursing my baby has been the same person struggling to provide for the home.

Knowing that he contributed to his lost of job. He goes to work late, different excuses, doing the job anyhow that the management had to fire him. This is the second job he's losing due to carelessness.
He wasn't still meeting up with responsibilities even when he had those jobs. He was always complaining of TP expenses, deduction due to late coming, his salaries was not benefiting us.

Our present accomodation of 250k, one bedroom apartment is expiring ending of next month and I don't know how we're going to pay for the rent. The previous rent I have always contributed when I had the money.
Presently I have no job. I left my job during delivery, but I'm hoping to start looking for job very soon. Yet, I'm not idle. I'm still trying with little business to cartar for the house.

The issue now is, he has arranged his stuffs preparing to relocate to the village and he wants us to go together because he can't afford to renew the rent.
I told him I can't go to the village with him, we are too young to start retiring to the village. What about good school for the children especially my first child? But he has decided to go without us, leaving us with the whole responsibilities.
I'm afraid, I can't afford everything here either. But going with him to the village is also very scary. A man who ignore us when there's nothing in the house, waiting for me to fix, how can I trust him and relocate with my two children to his village? I can't speak their language and it's an interior village, How do we survive there?
He's not even considering all these.
Pls, advice me on what to do. I'm really fed up.

Your story looks too straightforward. If it's ends up that it wasn't as you narrated, may God forgive my contribution for not being careful enough in response.

Giving the premise you provided, this man will likely misbehave the more in the village. Village also require hard work. Perhaps harder than the city. Person wey no won go work on time here fit stay from morning to night in the farm?

Without proper plan, there is probability that he will become a village drunkard or playing game under tree in the village.

However, note that husband is the head of the family. Because u know him b4 you married him. And you agreed to live with the consequences.

The ball is in your court. But if he goes alone there is high probability that your marriage will be over within 6 months.

Every diligent man always has a plan,pray for him to go well and succeed and come back,so that you can return to normal life.
Nigeria is tough now,N500per litre is not joke,transport is high.MANY PEOPLE IN COMPUTER VILLAGE HAVE LEFT LAGOS TO VILLAGES SINCE N500PER LITRE STARTED.If you have house in village go and hustle with him,manage and come back to lag.
You know ya husband well,but if he is indolent pray for wisdom to get cheaper apartment here and get a job fast.
You are having temporary challenge don't let it defeat you.God's Strength.

KOMBE:
Please post your account number and we will help you start a business, then encourage oga to come back. The kids need their father, quite difficult training children alone

Thank you Sir. Please let me send it in inbox. I don't know if it's appropriate here.

thesicilian:
Technically we as strangers should have no say in how your home is run, that should be between you and your husband. You alone should decide whether you want to maintain your family unit and move with him to the village, or risk the possibility of a separation between husband and wife, father and children by refusing to go with him. Either one you choose will have its own advantages and consequences so think about it carefully.
A third option might be to help him look for any job that can persuade him to stay in the city

This is the most practical input, as far as my humble self is concerned. I support you with one bottle of mortuarized Origin!

Now, to the topic: Relocating to the village is not the end of life. We relocated to the village in the mid eighties. Even at my young age, I could remember vividly. I missed my school in Mushin. But life was better in the village, fresh foods, the opportunity to really be kids and live, learning my native language and its several dialects, bonding with family and friends. Oh, the life we had! Dad and Mom continued plying their trades in the village while we the kids picked up so many skills I can't even recount here. It wasn't all rosy, but with contentment and dedication, we survived.

On the academic side, we didn't lose out either. By the time we relocated back to Lagos in the early nineties, we've had a strong foundation in both rural and urban life. The skills we learned are still useful to us till this day. And all of us did well in school.

So, relocating to the village when situations demand for it is not the end of life

The main question is: What's the plan? What will you be doing in the village? Are you willing to adjust to a lower standard of living for a little while? It starts with the mindset. How do you view rural life and rural dwellers? As inferior, or fellow humans with different circumstances and paths in life? It starts with the mindset.
May God guide you right to make the right choice.

Love and light.