My opinion is different, i totally did not see anything wrong in what the op did. He said, the in-laws offered them food and they ate it. Isn't that already sign of trust and acceptance from his own part as a potential son in-law? Is it now turning down the bread offered that is now a crime?

I'm a female, i wouldn't see anything wrong if my finace did what op did. I would only be hurt if he visited them without eating they food the offered. Because they must have taken their time to prepare it for his visit.

Op don't feel any bad, let them all be castigating you as you kill person. If your girlfriend like, let her use that flimsy thing as an excuse not to marry you again. It wouldn't be your loss 😌

henrimoto:
common sense suppose tell the guy sef, if no be say na person wey too dey get pride him be.

Very prideful individual

Mindlog:


You, who on a first time visit went visiting your intending in-laws with shortcake biscuits and juice and they returned the energy with loaves of bread, yet you regard it as awkward?

If na me be the family, na dat biscuit and juice una bring come na im I go serve una since na from your village farm u harvest am.

Applying social intelligence is very key when dealing with such.

My sister. E taya me. Are they kids that will eat biscuits and juice?

Mindlog:


If it is a non-issue for you, why create the thread?

Social intelligence in this context is though you saw no relevance in being given the bread to take home with you, collecting it does not mean you are hungry but shows you are also accepting of them, that was what the mother could give you at that time as a gift or were expecting her to package washed bitter leaves, smoked fish and a gallon of palm oil for you?

Now you're making me crave bitter leaf soup

Ishilove:

My sister. E taya me. Are they kids that will eat biscuits and juice?

biscuit and juice. as per say the parents na primary school children. the guy's gift is 10 times worst than the bread the in- law gave him.

he was fed with good food and still given bread yet he felt the bread was too suspicious or beneath him to accept.

The way he spoke to his wife- to- be about her parents shows he lacks home training. The girl will marry him despite his lack of manners. tufia!

PuZZyNegro:


They stay in Port Harcourt city and not any village. This is not a social class issue.

Fine...it's all the more reason you should have accepted the gift!

You should have collected it.

Is this the girlfriend who's pregnant for you?

https://www.nairaland.com/7847853/how-girlfriends-mum-prevented-us


You give their daughter pregnant no marriage yet you stil get get mouth

PuZZyNegro:
I traveled from Lagos to Port Harcourt to see my future in laws family. My girl wasn't around as she's still in Lagos schooling.

I went there with a family member and got them some items like shortcake biscuits and juice.

They offered us food and we ate. After the meeting and normal questioning, we were set to go when surprisingly, this people brought out two loaves of bread and gave us. I told them that the food we ate was enough, that we don't need the bread.

We haven't even gone far when my girl started texting me on WhatsApp angrily asking me why I rejected her mother's gift. That she gave it out of love, this and that.

I told her that bread is the wrongest gift the mother could give me. I am supposed to buy them bread and not the one way round. I intentionally refused to buy bread for them because I assumed bread is an everyday food that people buy and eat, so I decided to go with the package biscuits instead and here they are offering me bread.

If it were something produced locally by them like coconut or something, I can understand but bread?

Please, did I do anything wrong rejecting the bread?

You no get sense walahi

FalseProphet1:
That marriage will not hold.

This I have seen.

PuZZyNegro:


It's not about it being local or little. The Bread was gotten from Market Square super market. I just find it awkward giving bread to your son-in-law to be on the first meeting.

Gifts are symbolic you know.

Next time them go gift you Ferrari

You should have collected it na... Nawaooo.

Maybe the mama see how you quick chop the first food finish .. she see say you dey hungry

Small boy carry biscuits go in-law house on a first visit.

That also is not only weird but awkward to me.

Yeye dey smell.Better call mama and apologise.

Wrongest gift indeed

I can't believe someone can be this dumb IF it happened in real life.

But since that woman scammed to think Buhari wanted to marry her... I don't think there's a ceiling to stupidity.

PuZZyNegro:


It's not about it being local or little. The Bread was gotten from Market Square super market. I just find it awkward giving bread to your son-in-law to be on the first meeting.

Gifts are symbolic you know.

But you bought them biscuit and juice? Are ur potential inlaws children?

There was nothing else to get them abi?

Kids thinking marriage is BF & GF.

What was wrong in accepting the bread? Later you can gift it out or throw it away?

@OP, its foolishness. In Yoruba land, its forbidden to reject 'food' from your in-laws on First visit. Even if you didnt want to eat it, you could have collected it and keep.

madridguy:
Since you found their gift awkward then their daughter must be awkward to you too. Maybe you should leave their daughter alone.

you sound like a proud person

People are angry you rejected the bread. If I had known I would have rejected that silly mat those people gave me that year but when I eventually woke up and gave it out, all hell broke loose. Thank God

Please don’t feel any remorse about rejecting the gift.

PuZZyNegro:
I traveled from Lagos to Port Harcourt to see my future in laws family. My girl wasn't around as she's still in Lagos schooling.

I went there with a family member and got them some items like shortcake biscuits and juice.

They offered us food and we ate. After the meeting and normal questioning, we were set to go when surprisingly, this people brought out two loaves of bread and gave us. I told them that the food we ate was enough, that we don't need the bread.

We haven't even gone far when my girl started texting me on WhatsApp angrily asking me why I rejected her mother's gift. That she gave it out of love, this and that.

I told her that bread is the wrongest gift the mother could give me. I am supposed to buy them bread and not the one way round. I intentionally refused to buy bread for them because I assumed bread is an everyday food that people buy and eat, so I decided to go with the package biscuits instead and here they are offering me bread.

If it were something produced locally by them like coconut or something, I can understand but bread?

Please, did I do anything wrong rejecting the bread?

Na man you be

You know your worth and i like your courage

Giving a visitor 2 slice of bread is an insult and not a good thing

PuZZyNegro:


It's not about it being local or little. The Bread was gotten from Market Square super market. I just find it awkward giving bread to your son-in-law to be on the first meeting.

Gifts are symbolic you know.

I can see having sense is not by age bro you lack sense

Immature of you.fcukoff dude.for the first time you visited and you rejected your future in-law gift. Why don you gift a beggar on your way out if you feel you don't want it.tomorrow you buy them bread and expect them to collect and say thank you.

Na you know. I no follow you pick fiancee. Anything you see, take.

Over Sabi future son-in-law

Who train you

At times we get it very wrong. It is not the gift but the heart. You need to apologize and take the bread, do this and thank me later.

You are about to marry from a toxic family why should you give your son-in-law bread as a gift . Nah winch dey do that to invoke issues where there is none, the Greek gift is a test
All I see here is that they are looking for an outright excuse to reject you.
Let's observe the events
1. You rejected the gift politely (if she is a mother she would have no bad feelings about that)
2. She immediately reports you to her daughter (meaning she has no forgiven spirit
3. Your babe took the issue up with you instead of her to calm her mother, then corrected you with love if at all you made a mistake.
OP this is enough red flag for you because it's evident that your wife-to-be emotion towards you will be controlled by her mother. And such a mother won't like you because she already hates you.
These are the little things that can destroy your home if you marry that girl

Bro just call them and apologize.
Anything that made your girl to call you and be telling you this means it's serious to them and you shouldn't take it lightly no matter what you think. They gifted you on goodwill, that's what's important. And now they feel offended, make amends.

Houseontherock1:
You should have accepted the gift even if you'll not eat it. The biscuits you gave are equally sold in the village but they accepted your gift. You could have gone with clothes, wine and other "city gifts".

I have a different opinion to this. I don't see why one will accept a gift if they don't eat things like that. For example, if I don't like something and u give me as a gift, I will respectful reject it and tell u the reason why in a polite way. I don't like when I am gifted something and I end up giving someone else, except I am giving my close family members.

Young man, you are too proud and not ready for marriage yet. You dont decide what gift to receive. the giver decides.

PuZZyNegro:


It's not about it being local or little. The Bread was gotten from Market Square super market. I just find it awkward giving bread to your son-in-law to be on the first meeting.

Gifts are symbolic you know.

You're traveling a far distance, port Harcourt back to Lagos so she thought of something that could easily come in handy on your journey

After rejecting it what do you expect? That she should return it back to the supermarket?

You did wrong

First thread I will read on Nairaland with everyone being matured, truthful and without sentiment or tribalistic.


Keep it up fellow Nairalanders.

As said by all, guy , you didn't do well.

Even if na cup of water from well, you must collect and drink.
Rejecting a gift is rejecting the giver.

PuZZyNegro:


They stay in Port Harcourt city and not any village. This is not a social class issue.

So you travel all the way go pH and na biscuit and juice you carry go and you they complain say them give you bread..you are indeed a puzzy negro with complete lack of social intelligence