letstalksense:
There is this lady I plan to marry, which I have made known to her already even before she travelled for her NYSC. Although she just came back from NYSC service recently. We are just discussing the way forward and on the process I was asking her about her sexual life and how recently she had sex. After insisting for her to answer. She opened up and told me she had a sexual relationship during her NYSC service. And the reason was because I didn't call her at a particular time so she thought I have find anther woman. And that was when I was having some personal challenges. According to her, they ended the sexual relationship in the camp. That she is sorry and all that. I didn't really expect that attitude from her as she seem to look responsible and Godlily. I was just disappointed even though I pretended like everything is well. And I was also thinking she had the courage to tell me the true.

Now I have to make my decision, but needs a matured advise and guidance from a mature mind please.

Do think I should continue my marriage plan with her?

Pease what do you advise I do?

Thanks in advance.

We are human being and prone to mistakes, thou some mistakes can be very costly, but she told you the truth even if its not all the truth , she was bold enough to tell you. some ladies will go ahead to even say walahi talahi they are virgins and have never had sex before. anyways the ball is in your court , relationship is something very sensitive and takes 2 to tangle.

if you are losing trust in her but wants to be sure if she has changed for better you can just hack her phone for a month or two and confirm her activities , if everything seems ok and no traces of cheat you can decide to deactivate the hacking tool and go ahead with your plans.

Mind you no body holy pass , we are only trying to be as holy as possible. All the best in your relationship.

Gbensh her one last time and discontinue the marriage.

Don't be a SIMP Playa.

Carcholce:
In 2024, one thing I really want to do is to be able to completely avoid threads that has to do with man and woman relationship. I don tire to read these things. Reading posts as these is not helpful to the mind, and if you are not strong minded, it plants hates towards the opposite gender.

OP, sorry for not contributing to help your situation. Happy new year in advance. Extend my greetings to your fiancée!

You and other people that like ur comment are leaving in what psychology called *self denial* things like this are uglier in reality than what they posted here.
If you think you want to show blind eye, instead to buckle ur shoe and be vigilant for ur own relationship/marriage, I'm seeing ur own posted here one day, provided it won't messier than this .

If you are reading and learn about dirty events of relationship palavers, you may use lessons learnt to prevent/reduce Incase if such want to happen to you, but if u show blind eye, (God forbid) if it eventually happens to you, it may completely overcome if not break you down irreparable. (pls read about Emeka Ike comments now and his comments when his marriage was rossy,)

Emeka Ike said something similar to what u saying now wen his marriage was rossy, but wen marriage storm came, it broke him down and sent him back to square 1.

Today, his family is in dissaray & shattered


Meanwhile, if you want to stop reading and communicate about romance stuffs, u need not telling the whole world and make ur decision,not only personal but private.

letstalksense:
■ She opened up and told me she had a sexual relationship during her NYSC service. And the reason was because I didn't call her at a particular time so she thought I have find anther woman. And that was when I was having some personal challenges. According to her, they ended the sexual relationship in the camp. That she is sorry and all that. I didn't really expect that attitude from her as she seem to look responsible and Godlily. I was just disappointed even though I pretended like everything is well. And I was also thinking she had the courage to tell me the true.
Now I have to make my decision, but needs a matured advise and guidance from a mature mind please. Do think I should continue my marriage plan with her? Pease what do you advise I do? Thanks in advance.

When you were supposedly having these personal issues of yours, did you think to abandon the relationship or did you maybe cheat on her with someone else. The reason I ask is you didn't fill in the details of exactly what transpired on your end during the time that this all happened on her end.

letstalksense:
There is this lady I plan to marry, which I have made known to her already even before she travelled for her NYSC. Although she just came back from NYSC service recently. We are just discussing the way forward and on the process I was asking her about her sexual life and how recently she had sex. After insisting for her to answer. She opened up and told me she had a sexual relationship during her NYSC service. And the reason was because I didn't call her at a particular time so she thought I have find anther woman. And that was when I was having some personal challenges. According to her, they ended the sexual relationship in the camp. That she is sorry and all that. I didn't really expect that attitude from her as she seem to look responsible and Godlily. I was just disappointed even though I pretended like everything is well. And I was also thinking she had the courage to tell me the true.

Now I have to make my decision, but needs a matured advise and guidance from a mature mind please.

Do think I should continue my marriage plan with her?

Pease what do you advise I do?

Thanks in advance.

That she told you the truth simply means she is honest with you. Do you know what other girls are doing secretly?

The greatest mistake you will make as a man is to investigate women, if you find out things and things you may never have peace of mind again. The devil you know is better than the angel you don't know.

Give yourself sense

letstalksense:
There is this lady I plan to marry, which I have made known to her already even before she travelled for her NYSC. Although she just came back from NYSC service recently. We are just discussing the way forward and on the process I was asking her about her sexual life and how recently she had sex. After insisting for her to answer. She opened up and told me she had a sexual relationship during her NYSC service. And the reason was because I didn't call her at a particular time so she thought I have find anther woman. And that was when I was having some personal challenges. According to her, they ended the sexual relationship in the camp. That she is sorry and all that. I didn't really expect that attitude from her as she seem to look responsible and Godlily. I was just disappointed even though I pretended like everything is well. And I was also thinking she had the courage to tell me the true.

Now I have to make my decision, but needs a matured advise and guidance from a mature mind please.

Do think I should continue my marriage plan with her?

Pease what do you advise I do?

Thanks in advance.

When you know you cant handle the true answer why did you ask such question? This is a relationship matter,only you can decide. There are things I dont bother myself knowing,my business is that I only guide my heart.

It is called a relationship because it works both ways u cannot be in a relationship with yourself there must be another person(s) . I have never seen where it is justified that men are the only ones that should do the calling and women should only pick calls and not call her lover. When a woman loves you if she does not hear from you she will call you to ask after you and reassure you that she is there for you not immediately go and start F?cking around. Use your head and know what's good for you. You have to be absolute about someone before you chose them to spend your life with. From what I can tell you are probably forcing her. Discuss with her to know what is at stake.

I will advice you to let her go , otherwise the marriage will be based on suspicious of each other. Any time you remember it after the marriage, you will feel traumatized till the end of your life. Marriage is based on mutual trust between each other. I salute the lady courage to open up. You should also know that NYSC is a jamboree of sexual intercourse of Nigeria youths. A lot of youths are always looking up to that year in their life time. You are lucky that she came back to you. If she had meet a serious boy in the camp , it would have been another story.

Carcholce:
In 2024, one thing I really want to do is to be able to completely avoid threads that has to do with man and woman relationship. I don tire to read these things. Reading posts as these is not helpful to the mind, and if you are not strong minded, it plants hates towards the opposite gender.

OP, sorry for not contributing to help your situation. Happy new year in advance. Extend my greetings to your fiancée!

if am the one I won't go ahead

women takes the greater part of the blame.
Women are the custodians of sex, they're like commodity sellers. If someone approach you to buy some goods and you say you aren't selling then there is nothing I can do.

This moral decadence that is prevalent in Nigeria can be curtailed if the men want. Imagine men setting standards like 'no virginity, no marriage', all the ladies will zip up.



My policy is

No virgin
No marriage


I no fit marry person wer another man don knack o

letstalksense:
There is this lady I plan to marry, which I have made known to her already even before she travelled for her NYSC. Although she just came back from NYSC service recently. We are just discussing the way forward and on the process I was asking her about her sexual life and how recently she had sex. After insisting for her to answer. She opened up and told me she had a sexual relationship during her NYSC service. And the reason was because I didn't call her at a particular time so she thought I have find anther woman. And that was when I was having some personal challenges. According to her, they ended the sexual relationship in the camp. That she is sorry and all that. I didn't really expect that attitude from her as she seem to look responsible and Godlily. I was just disappointed even though I pretended like everything is well. And I was also thinking she had the courage to tell me the true.

Now I have to make my decision, but needs a matured advise and guidance from a mature mind please.

Do think I should continue my marriage plan with her?

Pease what do you advise I do?

Thanks in advance.

Bros as far I am concerned both of u are single no commitment so she is free .u can go ahead and marry her..
After that she would be clue to you 4life and answer your name okay mine u spend more on your marriage not your wedding

I wish to advice you but I don't trust my English!

Carcholce:
In 2024, one thing I really want to do is to be able to completely avoid threads that has to do with man and woman relationship. I don tire to read these things. Reading posts as these is not helpful to the mind, and if you are not strong minded, it plants hates towards the opposite gender.

OP, sorry for not contributing to help your situation. Happy new year in advance. Extend my greetings to your fiancée!

Thank for this piece, imagine the time we spend discussing this issues instead of things that can improve our lives

letstalksense:
There is this lady I plan to marry, which I have made known to her already even before she travelled for her NYSC. Although she just came back from NYSC service recently. We are just discussing the way forward and on the process I was asking her about her sexual life and how recently she had sex. After insisting for her to answer. She opened up and told me she had a sexual relationship during her NYSC service. And the reason was because I didn't call her at a particular time so she thought I have find anther woman. And that was when I was having some personal challenges. According to her, they ended the sexual relationship in the camp. That she is sorry and all that. I didn't really expect that attitude from her as she seem to look responsible and Godlily. I was just disappointed even though I pretended like everything is well. And I was also thinking she had the courage to tell me the true.

Now I have to make my decision, but needs a matured advise and guidance from a mature mind please.

Do think I should continue my marriage plan with her?

Pease what do you advise I do?

Thanks in advance.

i take god beg u to look for another girl

Jeon:
Why can't women be polygamous since men are polygamous in nature?.

I always laugh whenever I see complains like this, for fuvk sake men also engage in sexual explore with other ladies, but will get pissed off if the same card is been played on them.


modified:The nonsense justification coming from the weak gender that can't takes what they gave out

Let me answer you:
1. women being polygamous is not in our tradition.
2. Men pay dowry in order to marry women, and not the other way around.

3. If you want to be polygamous, you need to be ready to find your own man and pay for his DOWRY.

4. Men can't use their own money to marry you, and you then packed to his house and you think you can be polygamous in his house. You need to pay for your man's dowry, move him to your house before you can become polygamous.

Note that I don't support polygamy, but your assertion is wrong.

Carcholce:
In 2024, one thing I really want to do is to be able to completely avoid threads that has to do with man and woman relationship. I don tire to read these things. Reading posts as these is not helpful to the mind, and if you are not strong minded, it plants hates towards the opposite gender.

OP, sorry for not contributing to help your situation. Happy new year in advance. Extend my greetings to your fiancée!

Honestly, all these kind of topics seem to be having a bad influence on me. And sadly enough these topics are truthful. I escaped from a very manipulative relationship from reading topics like this. It seem men were made to be a mumu to women, if you are strong willed as a man. Trust me you won't rate 55% of women out there. The greed, selfish and standards. Is irritating for someone that has none. Relationship is like a fairy tale to most women. If you see a good woman, just treat her well as you can, forget bug yansh or fine face. Personality is all what matters most.

Marry her she is good, She was open she never hide it from you. she pleaded for forgiveness. Some will do it and swear with your great grand father and still gaslight you for accusing them wrongly.

letstalksense:
There is this lady I plan to marry, which I have made known to her already even before she travelled for her NYSC. Although she just came back from NYSC service recently. We are just discussing the way forward and on the process I was asking her about her sexual life and how recently she had sex. After insisting for her to answer. She opened up and told me she had a sexual relationship during her NYSC service. And the reason was because I didn't call her at a particular time so she thought I have find anther woman. And that was when I was having some personal challenges. According to her, they ended the sexual relationship in the camp. That she is sorry and all that. I didn't really expect that attitude from her as she seem to look responsible and Godlily. I was just disappointed even though I pretended like everything is well. And I was also thinking she had the courage to tell me the true.

Now I have to make my decision, but needs a matured advise and guidance from a mature mind please.

Do think I should continue my marriage plan with her?

Pease what do you advise I do?

Thanks in advance.

UnfairLife7:
if you're completely faithful with her throughout the period of dating and courtship then you can let go if you wish. However, if you've ever cheated in one way or the other without her notice then you have to overlook and go ahead with the marital plan

Matured!!! Op if you are ready for marriage take this advice!!

letstalksense:
There is this lady I plan to marry, which I have made known to her already even before she travelled for her NYSC. Although she just came back from NYSC service recently. We are just discussing the way forward and on the process I was asking her about her sexual life and how recently she had sex. After insisting for her to answer. She opened up and told me she had a sexual relationship during her NYSC service. And the reason was because I didn't call her at a particular time so she thought I have find anther woman. And that was when I was having some personal challenges. According to her, they ended the sexual relationship in the camp. That she is sorry and all that. I didn't really expect that attitude from her as she seem to look responsible and Godlily. I was just disappointed even though I pretended like everything is well. And I was also thinking she had the courage to tell me the true.

Now I have to make my decision, but needs a matured advise and guidance from a mature mind please.

Do think I should continue my marriage plan with her?

Pease what do you advise I do?

Thanks in advance.

Can you say in all honesty that you were also faithful during the period she was with another guy?

UnfairLife7:
if you're completely faithful with her throughout the period of dating and courtship then you can let go if you wish. However, if you've ever cheated in one way or the other without her notice then you have to overlook and go ahead with the marital plan

Well said.

What if she dnt tell you so you hv to continue.
Not easy to be a woman I understand their situations , Research shows that women sleep with more partners than men do. In a year you can't calculate the numbers of men woman must have slept with the percent is high compared to mens own

So not calln a lady for fewdays/ weeks means she can collect Knacking outside, why can't some of dem do without Dickson, (Hey God) fear any girl dt picks quarrel for not calln her in some hours - a full day, she can bang another dt keeps calln like he is jobless. Speaking from experience!

OP you are a man so take your own decision and stop coming online to seek advice. You nor get elders for your family? What about your papa? Go ask them

Why not leave some questions? Instead of trying to know answers you won't be able to live with. You that's asking the question, are you a saint? Did you celibate all through her period of NYSC?

letstalksense:
There is this lady I plan to marry, which I have made known to her already even before she travelled for her NYSC. Although she just came back from NYSC service recently. We are just discussing the way forward and on the process I was asking her about her sexual life and how recently she had sex. After insisting for her to answer. She opened up and told me she had a sexual relationship during her NYSC service. And the reason was because I didn't call her at a particular time so she thought I have find anther woman. And that was when I was having some personal challenges. According to her, they ended the sexual relationship in the camp. That she is sorry and all that. I didn't really expect that attitude from her as she seem to look responsible and Godlily. I was just disappointed even though I pretended like everything is well. And I was also thinking she had the courage to tell me the true.

Now I have to make my decision, but needs a matured advise and guidance from a mature mind please.

Do think I should continue my marriage plan with her?

Pease what do you advise I do?

Thanks in advance.

she definitely going to cheat on you if you marry her. Have that at the back of your mind.

No one is perfect. Everyone has his/her own flaws.
No wonder they said, "no graduate in marriage" you learn every now and then.

Fredfr33zy:


And the new one he finally meets what makes you think she does not have one corp member, one Peter and one Fred in the time past. They play

I tire guy.

SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU AND SHE DID NOT TELL YOU THE WHOLE TRUTH, MARK MY WORDS. SHE WAS LOOKING FOR A BETTER REPLACEMENT FOR YOU BUT FAILED THAT IS WHY SHE'S BACK TO YOU ( STILL NOT FULLY). SINCE YOU'VE DISCOVERED BEFORE THE MARRIAGE LET HER GO, BECAUSE THE TAG WILL REMAIN AS LONG AS THE MARRIAGE LAST, IT WILL BE A REFERENCE POINT ALWAYS AND YOU WON'T HAVE PEACE. LET HER GO

letstalksense:
There is this lady I plan to marry, which I have made known to her already even before she travelled for her NYSC. Although she just came back from NYSC service recently. We are just discussing the way forward and on the process I was asking her about her sexual life and how recently she had sex. After insisting for her to answer. She opened up and told me she had a sexual relationship during her NYSC service. And the reason was because I didn't call her at a particular time so she thought I have find anther woman. And that was when I was having some personal challenges. According to her, they ended the sexual relationship in the camp. That she is sorry and all that. I didn't really expect that attitude from her as she seem to look responsible and Godlily. I was just disappointed even though I pretended like everything is well. And I was also thinking she had the courage to tell me the true.

Now I have to make my decision, but needs a matured advise and guidance from a mature mind please.

Do think I should continue my marriage plan with her?

Pease what do you advise I do?

Thanks in advance.

😄😄😄

letstalksense:
There is this lady I plan to marry, which I have made known to her already even before she travelled for her NYSC. Although she just came back from NYSC service recently. We are just discussing the way forward and on the process I was asking her about her sexual life and how recently she had sex. After insisting for her to answer. She opened up and told me she had a sexual relationship during her NYSC service. And the reason was because I didn't call her at a particular time so she thought I have find anther woman. And that was when I was having some personal challenges. According to her, they ended the sexual relationship in the camp. That she is sorry and all that. I didn't really expect that attitude from her as she seem to look responsible and Godlily. I was just disappointed even though I pretended like everything is well. And I was also thinking she had the courage to tell me the true.

Now I have to make my decision, but needs a matured advise and guidance from a mature mind please.

Do think I should continue my marriage plan with her?

Pease what do you advise I do?

Thanks in advance.

Ok …. A few things I will need to assume.


1. Did you propose to her before camp ?
2. Did you start the process of introduction with her family ?
3. Do you two live together?

Without any formal event - she is as free as a bird. And so were you . Because you told her your plans doesnt mean it’s so . You said she called you . I’m sure she called you more than once yet you didn’t respond. If you both were chummy no way I wouldn’t call my babe or text her daily and often during the year away.

That said her excuse is flimsy but you need to understand the pressure of sex in an environment where you have a clean slate . Nobody knows you and you are in your prime sexually. If you haven’t read NYSC National Youth for Sex and Comfort you better read it /again . What happens in camp and during the service year is not easy. I can’t tell you how many ladies I ….. - some cases it simply because you , the spouse aren’t there , I see them vulnerable and take advantage. They need companionship and I am there. I loan them money , get water for them . Take them out once in a while . We play and laugh together.. sex just comes up .

All those couples who engage in long distance relationships- just ignore that fact or dance around the fact that their spouse is 100% faithful. I mean there is no love involved it’s just sex to satisfy an urge like drinking water to quench thirst. It doesn’t mean they want to quit the relationship.

What am I saying - forgive and work on relationships. Some people ask questions they shouldn’t - no way I am asking that questions because I don’t want to know the answer . If you think I’ll be faithful for 1 whole year when she’s away - nah I know myself.
If you stayed faithful for one whole year she was away then you can take the moral higher ground. But hurt as you may be - she was honest about it, it’s over we move on. Most relationships don’t develop outside NYSC. Just be careful of Okafor law - so make sure that dude isn’t in the same state as you guys are in or Locale.

If you still care about her … punish her however you want to - go make love to a side chick or visit a brothel and call it even.
Then proceed with steps to make it official.

Love they say covers a multitude of missteps.
My 2 cents .