Rich4god:
As strange as this may sound, let's stop encouraging baby mamas, it's not a good thing to do or to be

This is an HYPOTHESIS...

I have come to realise that most children raised by baby mamas/single mothers are very wild and lack morals. They are usually toxic inside of them and very disrespectful, no shame, no atom of responsibility in them and they always behave as if they have no parental guidance.

It's seems like a woman alone should not be left with the sole responsibility of training a child from childhood through teenage ages. Women do not have the mental capacity to do such and so the child doesn't turn out well.

It is not a hypothesis, but a fact. Children from single parent homes especially those from single mothers perform poorly in all ramifications compared to children from two-parent households. This is a universal fact.

It's a different game when a woman lost her husband and is left alone with the children. In this case, 60-70% of the time, the husband's relatives helps the woman to train the child. But that's not the case of baby mamas/single mothers.

While that is largely true, it is not the case any longer, as many men have been killed as a result of ethnic genocides and worsening insecurity. So we have a growing number of young widows whose husbands have been killed by Fulani terrorists and kidnappers. Go to the North Central part of the country and see the number of widows whose husbands have been butchered. Young women with young children. See the massacre which happened in Plateau recently, where children not more than five years old became fatherless and, in some cases, motherless. Those communities and the numerous ones in Benue, Kogi, Imo, Kaduna etc., would witness a rise in single mother parenting. Not as a result of indiscriminate sexual affairs, but because of terrible insecurity.

It is the reason countries with intelligent elites (the men) ensure the society is peaceful so that the two-parent household systems run efficiently without disruption. Nigerian elites are not intelligent neither are Nigerian men. Single parenting, especially single mother parenting, does more harm than good to any society or group. It is a major reason Asian-American children and families outperform their African American counterparts. In fact, that very reason is a major factor why black African migrants' children out-perform African American children: the presence of a two parent household for the former, and its absence for the latter.

Any man who tells you he wants a baby-mama is an irresponsible, uneducated, uncouth and terribly useless man. There are many contraceptive methods these days, so there is no excuse to wander your smelly preek around impregnating women and abdicating the responsibility of catering for the child (ren).

That said: yet another example to show you how Nigerian men and black men in general have failed their women: https://www.nairaland.com/6643241/nigerian-men-failed-women

Some women prefer to be single mothers, they don't want issues of a man being the bread winner


My ex girlfriend prefer to be a single mother than marry me and let me be a father to my daughter

fineboynl:
they can steal if they want. Even when i have the money I cannot rent a house. It created witchcraft and so my many things to my life. I am in my late 30s I don’t have a kid because of so many things. I have better experience than you do. They are free with their life but don’t steal under my roof. If you need to do that rent a house.

Well... I don't know your story, so let me rest my case.

Epurogonogono:



I am not saying I would force anything on my kids, the truth is that I can't, as they would still choose the lifestyle they want when they are old enough.

The only thing I can do is to guide them in the path that I think is right for them.

What is the point of having children if you cannot guide them. The truth is that if you don't guide them, the society with the people and lifestyle in it would guide them.

If this guidance is what you would call restrictions, well ....... okay 🤷🤷

You've said it all. Back in the days when even your neighbours or even strangers will help you correct your children, look at how responsible children used to be before.

Now that every parent is forming woke, see where we are. Imagine a small girl leaving under her parent roof, but her mode of dressing is as good as someone who is not wearing clothes. Yet her parent won't act, when a neighbour or a stranger tries to correct her, the next thing people will start saying "mind your business".

fyzaila:
You guys up there have murdered, dissected, and roasted the topic. I hope my fellow ladies will feed on it. I applaud you guys 👏👏👏👏

This shows we still have responsible men in our todays society.

Ermmm ermmmm fellow ladies, better hear word and don't end up biting your fingers later with "had i known"

That's if they will hear.

We4all:


I think the women should be blamed. If a woman doesn't want to get pregnant, then it won't happen.

I find it appalling that a woman would sleep with a guy that is not into her, then allow herself to become pregnant. What happens to the use of protection?

The blame should be both sides, esp the men. I am not sure I have come across any lady who wants to be Baba mama. I know there are ladies like that, but the majority of them who end up as baby mama was promised or (hoped) marriage by the man, then when the pregnancy come, the man ran away.

We4all:


Your write up is on point. Most kids raised by baby mamas are nothing to write home about. I am dealing with one at the moment and her toxicity is something else.

Seriously, nothing to write home about.

Hi

DrFunmisticGlow:
Simple.
Women want to have children without the wahala of MEN.
Do you know how difficult it is to live with the average nigerian man? Firstly, A woman life is in danger when she encounters🍆, and everything 🍆 brings.

The average nigerian man cannot look after himself and need s a woman to do so for him. He is dirty and messy.. He has the potential to be physically abusive, unfaithful, small minded with a big and fragile ego. and the most annoying thing is she now has to be subservient to him in the institution called marriage. Her major benefit is that he foots the bills which isn't so much of an advantage today.

Now if she is offered the deal to have a child that is biologically hers without all the stress outlined above, and a stipend to boot? It is hard for some caliber of ladies to resist such temptation.

Clap for urself
Feminist I see you

lordnkem000:
Hi
Clap for urself
Feminist I see you

I think say na only me notice am.

Rich4god:


I think say na only me notice am.

I swear bro, no mind the feminists, them go see shege

DrFunmisticGlow:
Simple.
Women want to have children without the wahala of MEN.
Do you know how difficult it is to live with the average nigerian man? Firstly, A woman life is in danger when she encounters🍆, and everything 🍆 brings.

The average nigerian man cannot look after himself and need s a woman to do so for him. He is dirty and messy.. He has the potential to be physically abusive, unfaithful, small minded with a big and fragile ego. and the most annoying thing is she now has to be subservient to him in the institution called marriage. Her major benefit is that he foots the bills which isn't so much of an advantage today.

Now if she is offered the deal to have a child that is biologically hers without all the stress outlined above, and a stipend to boot? It is hard for some caliber of ladies to resist such temptation.

Well said.

Men are so full of themselves, they really think women enjoy the subservience and slavery and tolerating infidelity/selfishness of the men after marriage.

I wish men would dedicate the same effort and time they use in criticizing women/females to calling out their fellow males bad behavior. Maybe then there will be less crimes and less corrupt leaders and less male violence in general.

CHoccolaTE:


Well said.
Men are so full of themselves, they really think women enjoy the subservience and slavery

How is this a bad thing if women are obsequiously submissive to their husbands. Do you think all men also enjoy providing and leading their wives. Don't you know that is hard-work but we have to do it anyway because it's our job to do it, just like it's your role to be submissive and there is nothing wrong or shameful in that.

and tolerating infidelity/selfishness of the men after marriage.

Do you think it's all man who are irresponsible in marriage, these are the things to vet for when dating a man, but most of y'all wouldn't. Instead women would be looking at how financially rich he is, without paying attention to his moral character.
Feminism is deceiving you. The earlier you realize it, the better for you.

lordnkem000:

I swear bro, no mind the feminists, them go see shege

They will be enjoying the babymamaship for now... later on in life, it won't be easy.

GreatAchiever1:

How is this a bad thing if women are obsequiously submissive to their husbands. Do you think all men also enjoy providing and leading their wives. Don't you know that is hard-work but we have to do it anyway because it's our job to do it, just like it's your role to be submissive and there is nothing wrong or shameful in that.



Do you think it's all man who are irresponsible in marriage, these are the things to vet for when dating a man, but most of y'all wouldn't. Instead women would be looking at how financially rich he is, without paying attention to his moral character.
Feminism is deceiving you. The earlier you realize it, the better for you.

Your response to the comment is top notch.

CHoccolaTE:
I wish men would dedicate the same effort and time they use in criticizing women/females to calling out their fellow males bad behavior. Maybe then there will be less crimes and less corrupt leaders and less male violence in general.

No body is criticising anyone... we are just calling out a bad trait that should be stopped.

GreatAchiever1:

How is this a bad thing if women are obsequiously submissive to their husbands. Do you think all men also enjoy providing and leading their wives. Don't you know that is hard-work but we have to do it anyway because it's our job to do it, just like it's your role to be submissive and there is nothing wrong or shameful in that.

Oga, majority of wives also provide along with their husbands, it's a role both parents should play if they decide to have kids. Just like housework and childcare should be the job of both parents, my problem with submission of a thing is that many men expect zombie slavery from their wives even men that have zero knowledge of what leadership means. Marriage should be partnership, not one party slave and the other party dictator. Decisions should be made in marriage based on mutual agreements on what is best for all parties involved.

Do you think it's all man who are irresponsible in marriage, these are the things to vet for when dating a man, but most of y'all wouldn't. Instead women would be looking at how financially rich he is, without paying attention to his moral character.
Feminism is deceiving you. The earlier you realize it, the better for you.

LMAO, feminism is not deceiving me, many men pretend before marriage to win a girls heart then show their true colors after the marriage, it's a common thing. Women actually vet men based on their behavior, it's not only money they look out for, it's just that some men are good liars and pretenders.

@topic, sorry for derailing. I agree that raising kids should be the job of both parents that have a good relationship and love and respect for each other. Babymamarism even if it's not always the best (because our society has evolved to demonise women that don't want to live under men in marriage,) it's still better than a toxic, loveless family where the father beats up his kids mom or cheats recklessly and exposes her to STDs and depression and loneliness.

Gerrard59:


It is not a hypothesis, but a fact. Children from single parent homes especially those from single mothers perform poorly in all ramifications compared to children from two-parent households. This is a universal fact.

Please I don't think we should be stigmatizing kids from single mothers as universally worse than kids from both parents.
There are exceptions, people like Barack Obama and Ben Carson were raised by single moms and made history in different fields.

When we stigmatized kids raised by single moms as universally worse, we put pressure on women to stay in terrible marriages and with abusive men just to avoid divorce and avoid the stigma their kids would bear from being raised by a single mom.
There is also the pressure widows would face to remarry just to avoid being labeled single mom whose kids are universally worse.
Many widows or women whose husbands abandoned them for other women rush into bad marriages with toxic partners that harm them and abuse their kids just because those women are desperate to remarry and avoid label of single mom.

Let's not propagate that idea, abeg. It's very harmful to women and kids from divorced parents.

CHoccolaTE:

Oga, majority of wives also provide along with their husbands, it's a role both parents should play if they decide to have kids. Just like housework and childcare should be the job of both parents, my problem with submission of a thing is that many men expect zombie slavery from their wives even men that have zero knowledge of what leadership means. Marriage should be partnership, not one party slave and the other party dictator. Decisions should be made in marriage based on mutual agreements on what is best for all parties involved.

You and I have different views on marriage, you think marriage is about partnership and equality, I view it as hierarchy and roles. So with this if you and I are in a relationship, it's clearly evident it won't workout hence we breakup even before considering marriage (Topics like these are important in courting).

Not all decision ends up being mutual, as a matter of fact, most times it doesn't, hence the woman submission in going along with her husbands plan, whatever it is. (If you don't trust his decision-making leadership abilities, why did you marry him? Then what's the point of dating him if you can't check these things.).
In every relationship, one has to willingly submit, two captain cannot stir a ship else there'd be chaos. And don't see it as a zombie slavery things, there are women who are very submissive to their husbands and I can tell you that they love every bit of it and would never even consider it being "zombie slavery".

LMAO, feminism is not deceiving me, many men pretend before marriage to win a girls heart then show their true colors after the marriage, it's a common thing. Women actually vet men based on their behavior, it's not only money they look out for, it's just that some men are good liars and pretenders.

Truth be told, women are easily deceived both by men who promised them marriage, men who promised equality through feminism, Lucifer who promised them equality through defiance on God's word.
Feminism is not what you think it is, do your own research, forget what the mainstream is feeding you. It goes all the to the Marxist–Leninist communist theory, whose sole agenda had to do with destroying the traditional home structure amongst others.

Yes, some men are deceivers, this is why males(usually fathers, uncles, brothers etc) aid in the vetting process in ancient traditional times to decipher them. But how can we even do that now when feminism has taken away the masculine authoritative figure in the home by weakening them and placing women with equality alongside them. This is why deceivers will continue to deceive women, and women will continue to deceive themselves.

CHoccolaTE:


Please I don't think we should be stigmatizing kids from single mothers as universally worse than kids from both parents.
There are exceptions, people like Barack Obama and Ben Carson were raised by single moms and made history in different fields

As you stated, there are exceptions. Exceptions don't make the norm. It is a universal fact across countries with different cultures, sizes of economies, populations and religions.

When we stigmatized kids raised by single moms as universally worse, we put pressure on women to stay in terrible marriages and with abusive men just to avoid divorce and avoid the stigma their kids would bear from being raised by a single mom.
There is also the pressure widows would face to remarry just to avoid being labeled single mom whose kids are universally worse.
Many widows or women whose husbands abandoned them for other women rush into bad marriages with toxic partners that harm them and abuse their kids just because those women are desperate to remarry and avoid label of single mom.

It is not stigmatization to state that children raised in single parent homes, especially those headed by single mothers, perform poorly than those raised in two-parent households. How is that stigmatization? Facts prove that the best environment to raise children is within a two-parent household.

Let's not propagate that idea, abeg. It's very harmful to women and kids from divorced parents.

We should propagate facts again? Why should facts care about your feelings?

Gerrard59:


As you stated, there are exceptions. Exceptions don't make the norm. It is a universal fact across countries with different cultures, sizes of economies, populations and religions.



It is not stigmatization to state that children raised in single parent homes, especially those headed by single mothers, perform poorly than those raised in two-parent households. How is that stigmatization? Facts prove that the best environment to raise children is within a two-parent household.



We should propagate facts again? Why should facts care about your feelings?

Abeg no be fight, if you want to post on it feel free.
Go ahead.

Gerrard59:


As you stated, there are exceptions. Exceptions don't make the norm. It is a universal fact across countries with different cultures, sizes of economies, populations and religions.



It is not stigmatization to state that children raised in single parent homes, especially those headed by single mothers, perform poorly than those raised in two-parent households. How is that stigmatization? Facts prove that the best environment to raise children is within a two-parent household.



We should propagate facts again? Why should facts care about your feelings?

One last thing, the studies you mentioned, the ones that show that kids from single parent homes perform worse, post the links. I want to check something.

CHoccolaTE:


One last thing, the studies you mentioned, the ones that show that kids from single parent homes perform worse, post the links. I want to check something.

https://www.bbc.com/news/education-47057787

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/09/17/opinion/single-parent-families-income-inequality-college.html

https://www.npr.org/2023/10/22/1207322878/single-parent-married-good-for-children-inequality

https://mainichi.jp/english/articles/20230818/p2a/00m/0na/015000c

https://mainichi.jp/english/articles/20211225/p2g/00m/0bu/004000c

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0049089X10000153?via%3Dihub

https://www.bertelsmann-stiftung.de/en/publications/publication/did/lone-parent-families-in-germany

https://time.com/6317692/u-s-economy-two-parent-families/

https://www.degruyter.com/document/doi/10.56687/9781447333654-011/html?lang=en

Studies and reports from the US, Germany, Japan, Korea, Singapore and the UK.

CHoccolaTE:


Abeg no be fight, if you want to post on it feel free.
Go ahead.

The typical response from Nigerians when confronted with facts after they went ahead to dispute them. When confronted with superior facts and information which renders theirs false, they become apprehensive because their I no fit lie give you, dem tell me say and trust me bro analogies don't work on the respondent.

Rich4god:


They will be enjoying the babymamaship for now... later on in life, it won't be easy.

Gbamsolutely
No be lie

Gerrard59:


https://www.bbc.com/news/education-47057787

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/09/17/opinion/single-parent-families-income-inequality-college.html

https://www.npr.org/2023/10/22/1207322878/single-parent-married-good-for-children-inequality

https://mainichi.jp/english/articles/20230818/p2a/00m/0na/015000c

https://mainichi.jp/english/articles/20211225/p2g/00m/0bu/004000c

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0049089X10000153?via%3Dihub

https://www.bertelsmann-stiftung.de/en/publications/publication/did/lone-parent-families-in-germany

https://time.com/6317692/u-s-economy-two-parent-families/

https://www.degruyter.com/document/doi/10.56687/9781447333654-011/html?lang=en

Studies and reports from the US, Germany, Japan, Korea, Singapore and the UK.

Where is Nigerian survey, I want to check something

The typical response from Nigerians when confronted with facts after they went ahead to dispute them. When confronted with superior facts and information which renders theirs false, they become apprehensive because their I no fit lie give you, dem tell me say and trust me bro analogies don't work on the respondent.

What on earth does this even mean?
I pointed out the danger and harm of claiming that single mothers do a terrible job of raising children ie that women will be put under more pressure to tolerate so much crap from evil men just to have a partner and save their kids from being stigmatized, and I wasn't wrong ooo, I really think it's pure evil to make it seem like women in misogynistic countries like Nigeria cannot raise their kids without men in their lives when majority of the men hate women and think they have the right to control their lives and cheat on them.
If you can show me research that proves that single mothers in Nigeria do a worse job of raising kids than women that are raising kids with Nigerian men, I would really appreciate it.

Gerrard59:

The typical response from Nigerians when confronted with facts after they went ahead to dispute them. When confronted with superior facts and information which renders theirs false, they become apprehensive because their I no fit lie give you, dem tell me say and trust me bro analogies don't work on the respondent.

On a general note, when people ask for facts in any argument, they usually don't concede even when you present them the facts and most times they already know about the fact you presented. They are just not happy with the piece of information. Most arguments aren't based on lack of knowledge, they are based on disagreement of opinions so they just look for any thing to support their opinion even if they are wrong. I learnt this while debating an Atheist who said the Bible was a myth & I presented some fact about the early Bible manuscripts. Lo and behold, he already knew about all the manuscripts & was just poking me

Kelechi009:


On a general note, when people ask for facts in any argument, they usually don't concede even when you present them the facts and most times they already know about the fact you presented. They are just not happy with the piece of information. Most arguments aren't based on lack of knowledge, they are based on disagreement of opinions so they just look for any thing to support their opinion even if they are wrong. I learnt this while debating an Atheist who said the Bible was a myth & I presented some fact about the early Bible manuscripts. Lo and behold, he already knew about all the manuscripts & was just poking me

For Nigerians, I beg to disagree. It is a total lack of knowledge. First class ignorance and elite arrogance. Havent you seen/read the way they issue out figures and percentages anyhow? 80% this, 90BN that.

Rich4god:
As strange as this may sound, let's stop encouraging baby mamas, it's not a good thing to do or to be proud of.

These days I hear most guys say that they won't marry, they would rather look for a lady who will be their baby mama. Some guys are even planning to have multiple baby mamas.

Well, which lady in her right sense would want to be a baby mama. Aren't you even ashamed that you call yourself a baby mama. Like the purpose of coming to life is not even to be a mother and a wife, but a baby mama who might be left alone if the guy succeeds in taking away the child from you.

Anyway, that's not the main purpose of creating this thread.

This is an HYPOTHESIS...

I have come to realise that most children raised by baby mamas/single mothers are very wild and lack morals. They are usually toxic inside of them and very disrespectful, no shame, no atom of responsibility in them and they always behave as if they have no parental guidance.

It's seems like a woman alone should not be left with the sole responsibility of training a child from childhood through teenage ages. Women do not have the mental capacity to do such and so the child doesn't turn out well.

It's a different game when a woman lost her husband and is left alone with the children. In this case, 60-70% of the time, the husband's relatives helps the woman to train the child. But that's not the case of baby mamas/single mothers.

Most baby mama/single mothers do not usually have the support of relatives due to the circumstances surrounding the child they are bearing, and so they are left all alone in training the child... and in greater percentage of the time, the child is not trained "rightly and homely".

My appeal goes to the men, if you need a child, go and adopt one... If you need one carrying your blood, better get married and join hands with your wife in giving your child the required parental guidance they need.

Talk to the women not men. They are the carrier of the baby

They want kids without commitment

Both genders crave of freedom,they see marriage as being tied down to just one person who Lord's over them. Both genders are guilty of this. But what they don't understand is that na when rain stop person wey carry umbrella go know say he carry extra load. Make dem wait till old age

As if lady not intended bringing themselves into baby mama situation

No

The happenings put them to it