Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence - Family (6) - Nairaland
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| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by Eagba(m): 4:51pm On Feb 18 |
owagbeba:The statistics reads cancer mainly, expecting the solution from those that caused it, is like playing a zero sum game. Our earlier generations were like a particular tribe I read of in pakistan, where the writer listed the things they do and eat that kept them majorly above 100years of age. And how they had no processed food |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by tolugar: 4:51pm On Feb 18 |
Kobojunkie:. So you are loitering about looking for a church to lay the blame. Maybe he mentioned your church and you calmed down. 1 Like |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by wisefingers: 4:56pm On Feb 18 |
seborrhic: Yes, I have been dealing with ADHD and Anxiety since about ten years old...got diagnosed at 29 but when this lady came into my life, she made things so easy that I even forgot my medications completely, at I a point I asked myself if she was human or an angel cos everything about us moved so smooth, only for death to rob me of her. Honestly everyday comes with its own challenges ever since she left. Sometimes I loose touch with reality but knowing I have a child to cater forces me back to life. To make things worse I'm an introvert almost a loner. About how I'm dealing with I had to move down to my hometown with my parents cos suicide has been knocking on the door of my heart. And I'm also in therapy and also taking a whole lot of antidepressants. 3 Likes |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by wisefingers: 4:57pm On Feb 18 |
01mcfadden: I no longer have access to the mail please reach me via my signature |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by chijike(m): 5:00pm On Feb 18 |
The truth is that no one recovers from losing a close relative, whether they died in your presence or not. Before I lost my 83-year-old dad 5 years ago, I always thought he was a cat with nine lives. It is still difficult for me to take in, especially when I remember him telling me he was fine while in intensive care the night before he died. Please I think we should be careful with this thread so people don't go back into depression abeg. |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by oneman2k7: 5:03pm On Feb 18 |
It was on Tuesday 26th March, 2019 at exactly 11:15 am. She was sick and they sent for me. When I arrived, I bought some drugs, locozade boost because she lost her appetite. I was sitting beside her and looking at her as if I don't want her to leave me. Around 11 o'clock, she said she wanted to take her bath, we prepared the bathroom for her. She requested that she want to change her clothe she wore a new one, we quickly obliged. Still I am the only child sitting beside her on the bed, all other siblings were around but all were outside talking. Around that same time, she forced me to eat something, which I did. I was on her neck, monitoring her closely. Around 11:10am, she told me to go outside and leave her room to go and meet my other siblings outside, I rejected this her offer. She was saying it repeatedly, I had to step out of her room and sit on a sofa facing her room instead. Immediately I stepped out, my dad came into the room to see her only to meet my mum lifeless. My mum knew that she will die and my presence was preventing her from dying. This is still fresh on my mind till today. My only regret till today is that I should not have left the room, I should have became Mario there. I really love her and she knew this. Rest in perfect peace mumsy 6 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by wisefingers: 5:09pm On Feb 18 |
WhoDeyThere: Ok bro....how do I reach you....I can't access the mail attached to this account. If you don't mind please chat me on the line at signature Thanks for your concern. 1 Like |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by arcnomec(m): 5:20pm On Feb 18 |
Tears is streaming from my eyes I type this! On a shining and smiling Saturday afternoon,my late wife was having labor cramps,took her to the hospital hoping to be back with my bundle of joy,but it turned out to be a sad Saturday for me,a traumatizing one for that matter,she had a still birth ,few hours my little princess died,was called in by the nurses to notify me of it,I held my little princess by my arms talking to her lifeless body ,telling her daddy loves her,that she will be back to be with us,boomed,there came the shocker,that my wife was bleeding profusely,ran to blood bank bought blood they started transfusion,it was dripping off her body and ran back again for another blood same thing ,for like 8times and bought oxygen,1:45am I was called in to see the pale and lifeless body of my wife. My whole world turned blank that minute,I heard voices from great beyond ,my heart raised like one running for a marathon. She left me with our son who is 3yrs plus now.I couldn't cry even after her burial,thank God for an observatant aunt of mine who insisted I go to the hospital after the burial,for the first time I cried in the arms of the doctor,my air ways was freed and the heart papitation I was battling was arrested. Oh ! Death won't take the trade,even when I offered.Lost 2 beautiful souls within a twinkle of an eye. 10 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by sonssyo: 5:21pm On Feb 18 |
DaddyRochie1642: I decided not to witness my father die, he was sick,I manage the sickness with the help of my brother who is a medical doctor in NHA. Why we chose that is because the last time he went to my village hospital,the doctor there was clueless, I'm sorry but that's the truth, so I have been managing him since 2012. Everything will go.well each time he's sick,mum will call my attention and I will quickly come over. The decision of coming down to the east, popsy was part of the plan,so that it will be a bit easier for me. Down to 2019,he fell sick but mum didn't alert me as she used to , I just think it's his time to go,each time I call,she will say he is getting better. Mother's day was around the corner,so decided to wait til that Saturday, before the mothering Sunday. I call each time and speak with my old man,he will respond Ok. When I came back,rushed to his room, behold a dead man that have few days left. Mum what happened? Dad is almost dead ,I acclaimed! She started crying, just get ready I Said. Picked my phone called Doc ,dad have less than 3 days to live,shocked to the bone marrow,he said please can you take him to Enugu, me- this man here cannot get to Enugu. Least I forgot, drugs everywhere in the room, I called my dad the way I use to-S U Man ( deep he responded) I shook my head in disappointment. Called my eldest brother,come down first thing tomorrow morning if you want to see him alive,he thought it was a joke. Fast forward to.sunday which is the mothering Sunday, no zeal to do anything,the sets of wrapper I handed over to my mum. I was just praying for him not to die that night,my heart was jumping! That Sunday,I took off,lo and behold early hours of Monday 3am,my phone was buzzing, e don happen I said, I didn't pick anything,inntye morning I came to work, my colleague,how far,i said , bad, as a matter of fact,e be like say my dad don go ! I summoned courage called my mum,she was crying,I called my brother the doctor,he said did you hear,I said hear what,our father is dead,see shouting,to my bone marrow I roasted. I'm not a crying type,I planned next movement back to the village,on getting there , entered his room, SU MAN was no longer there. I was troubled for 2 weeks, after his death,no sleep nothing nothing,fear everything. But after the two weeks,he came to see me in my dream,early hours of 3-4am. It was an awesome experience, bottom line he was carried by a whirlwind up, waving,in that dream I remembered I said-greet angel Gabriel for me, he responded yes I will my daughter ( dad loves speaking English and Latin) . After that day, I was healed completely,on d burial day,as the first and only daughter,I went to bring him, my spirit keep telling me, remember what I told you,no crying, I'm fine, nah so I carry my hand put for the coffin,driver start the motor,off we go. I missed my father S U MAN, he was a good man,he didn't get much from me as he left unannounced,Rest in Peace S U MAN  4 Likes |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by arcnomec(m): 5:22pm On Feb 18 |
Tears is streaming from my eyes as I type this! On a shining and smiling Saturday afternoon,my late wife was having labor cramps,took her to the hospital hoping to be back with my bundle of joy,but it turned out to be a sad Saturday for me,a traumatizing one for that matter,she had a still birth ,few hours my little princess died,was called in NY the nurses to notify me of it,I held my little princess by my arms talking to her lifeless body ,telling her daddy loves her,that she will be back to be with us,boom,there came the shocker,that my wife was bleeding profusely,ran to blood bank bought blood they started transfusion,it was dripping off her body and ran back again for another blood same thing ,for like 8times and bought oxygen,1:45am I was called in to see the plae and lifeless body of my wife. My whole world turned blank that minute,I heard voices from great beyond my heart beat raised like one running for a marathon. She left me with our son who is 3yrs plus now.I couldn't cry even after her burial,thank God for an observatant aunt of mine who insisted I go to the hospital after the burial,for the first time I cried in the arms of the doctor,my air ways was freed and the heart papitation I was battling was arrested. Oh ! Death won't take the trade,even then I offered.Lost 2 beautiful souls within a twinkle of an eye.[color=#000099][/color] |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by jaymorgan(m): 5:28pm On Feb 18 |
Very painful! I remember losing my dad to diabetes 16 yrs ago. The pain was just too much for him. My dad told me I'll go through a lot, I'd face a lot as an only child, but he told me what's gonna be is gonna be, what goes up must come down. I never understood him then because I was about but10 now I see all he said coming to pass and I clearly understand him now. Though I'm not happy where I am now but I thank God I'm stronger. His death made me strong. He's my greatest inspiration 1 Like |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by arcnomec(m): 5:40pm On Feb 18 |
wisefingers: Thank God you had your baby, I lost both baby and mother within a space of 4hrs . Life hasn't been funny with me |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by maasoap(m): 5:41pm On Feb 18 |
Kobojunkie:From your first question, I knew right away that this is where you are heading to.  |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by maasoap(m): 5:46pm On Feb 18 |
Christian36:Welcome on board. The realisation of that fact makes life simple for the individual |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by maasoap(m): 5:51pm On Feb 18 |
CHIOMAEZEH:It brings relief to me when I realise that someone who has been pronounced was already turning cold before being buried or taken to the mortuary. That was how we (Muslims) nearly buried a man with warm body until I called the attention to it. |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by grandstar(m): 5:52pm On Feb 18 |
DaddyRochie1642 I witnessed both my mom and dad die in my presence. My mom went first. This was very early January 2019. I was in my home town with my mom. My cousin and my mums caretaker, a male, brought to my attention in the early hours of the morning that my mum had problems with her breathing I quickly rushed to be by her side and she did have problems breathing. I put my hands on her pulse and it was still beating but I did not know when she died. She just turned her head to the other side. It was my cousin that brought to my notice that mom was passed on. I called her nurse to come to the house and confirm and she said the same thing.. My mom was old, almost 80, and in my own way, was happy she had gone. She was bedridden for the last 30 years of her life. She could now rest from her misery. As I write this, I realize there is some subdued pain. I hope Jehovah remembers her during the resurrection.(Read Job 14:13-15) My dad passed away Sept 2021. He had been serious health issues for days and I suspected his time was soon up. I sent subtle hints of the seriousness of the situation and two of my direct siblings based overseas came down, the oldest and the youngest The night before he died, he went into shock but we were able to revive him. Before this, he had stopped heating. That is an ominous sign. A hospice nurse said that the body isn't dying because it is not eating, but rather, the person isn't eating because the body is dying. Food is fuel and if the body is dying, the food serves no purpose. The next day, in the afternoon, my dad gave up the ghost in the presence of me, my older sister and my younger brother, the last born. It hit my sister hard! I actually didn't notice but she was always snapping at me. There was a time I bought a meat pie and she queried my purchase asking whether I wanted to die like my dad. She was not herself until she travelled back to the UK. She had spent 28 days in Nigeria, the longest stretch she had spent since sojourning in the UK for 35 years. My dad was d. He was over 80. Goodbye dad. 3 Likes |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by grandstar(m): 5:53pm On Feb 18 |
Kobojunkie: Somebody ill needs a physician. Nothing wrong in prayer. 1 Like |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by grandstar(m): 5:54pm On Feb 18 |
WombBreaker: Stop stigmatizing mental health. There's nothing wrong if he says the truth. 2 Likes |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by grandstar(m): 5:56pm On Feb 18 |
DaddyRochie1642: Mental health issues here is heavily stigmatized. People prefer to live in denial. I am glad your brother is back 2 Likes |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by maasoap(m): 5:57pm On Feb 18 |
oneman2k7:More like she was holding on because of your presence. She didn't want you to experience it and you should be thanking her because, only God knows what you would have been dealing with now. |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by grandstar(m): 5:59pm On Feb 18 |
WombBreaker: Once you take your medication, no one would notice. He is one of the wise ones. He may not like the stigma attached to mental health and therefore religiously takes his medication |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by grandstar(m): 6:02pm On Feb 18 |
psychicdreams: Do you take your meds and injections religiously? Have you ever had a situation where you forgot and started acting out? |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by Wotowotoman: 6:02pm On Feb 18 |
Kobojunkie: What has this got to do with anything  |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by DaddyRochie1642: 6:03pm On Feb 18 |
arcnomec: A very heavy loss, this is painful..I don't know what to say, please be strong for your child. 2 Likes |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by maasoap(m): 6:07pm On Feb 18 |
highchief1:That was unexpected |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by Ayokola6ix(m): 6:15pm On Feb 18 |
It was a very smooth Tuesday morning, as I just returned to my hometown in august 2021, I don’t stay with my parents since like 8-9 years ago, so my mom called and was like Alhaji is seriously sick, but Alh as we favoritely all call him had nine lives, I was still at my own home telling her I will be there, not long after my older brother calls came in and he Asked me to leave whatever I was doing and go be with him as my mom has to go to work( she works with the state government), I left my house before I went home, I still had to go see one of my guy who I always check up on anytime I go to see my parents, it was exactly 12pm then I had this wild feeling that told me to go home and see my dad, I got to where he was laying on his bed in his own bedroom, my little sister was there and the three of us was always so full of laughter and life when we are together, I can remember vividly during his dying moment ,myself and my sister was still whining him as we famously call it at home and he was answering not till 01:11pm lo and behold, My favorite human was gone, I couldn’t heal from the pain cause I thought instead of whining him I could have done better, I’m in tears as I type this but I believe he’s in Aljanah Fridaus …Rest in peace Alh Mess, your Guy as you call me misses you 😢😢👋 1 Like |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by pete1234: 6:15pm On Feb 18 |
So sorry for your loss, I also witnessed mum slip away day after day till her last breath, she also died of cancer, I do not wish my enemy this dastardly disease. In all let's remember that the length of our days in the hands of God almighty, be good and live a holy life. 1 Like |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by binary01: 6:18pm On Feb 18 |
Am sorry you had to go through that, my mum died in my arms when I was still a teenager, that trauma has lived with me over 20 years till this day.. it gets bearable with time but never easy. |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by Emeka71(m): 6:31pm On Feb 18 |
Kobojunkie:I think making heaven is somehow unpredictable sometimes I |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by SaLongs1(m): 6:33pm On Feb 18 |
WombBreaker:Some heads are meant to be knocked for silly and unfounded denial of reality. |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by placeofallure(f): 6:33pm On Feb 18 |
DaddyRochie1642: I have lost someone close. I dread for it to happen again. It's not a position I want to be in. It was my kid brother's wife while she was in labour. She was just 28. I smashed my phone on the wall when my big sis called to tell me. I became inconsolable and was crying everywhere I go. The lady, me and my kid sister, all 3 of us, were gist partners. Everyday in the mornings, I cry from sleep, meet tears on my face and continue crying. My husband tried for me at the time. Thank God I have him. That continued for long. It's still painful whenever I remember her. Rest on my sweetheart, such a beautiful soul inside out. |
| Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by onlinestaff247: 6:38pm On Feb 18 |
When my dad died in 2008, I was with him in the hospital coupled with my mom and siblings. Any which way, he died at the age of 62..I did not cry or start shouting because I'm not the emotional type...We did the burial and life goes on... Nevertheless, I miss him a great deal...He's the best dad in the world. |
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