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Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by jojothaiv(m): 2:30pm On Feb 18
The day a man is born the same moment is old enough to die, there's nothing like too young to die.

I look back at 2020 with not so fond memories and I just act indifferently to the thought of dying and dealing with the loss of loved ones.

May 2020, my woman died courtesy of raged truck driver and the high flying Okada rider, didn't set my eyes on her remains till date.

August 2020, the last born of the family, my favorite sibling gave up the ghost when she was admitted to the hospital, in the doctor's word, 'the malaria must have eaten deep into her' She was a sweet soul and quite matured for her age but death don't share in my pity.

October 2020, death waved grand ma in and it was devastating because I couldn't bring myself down to Badagry to pay my last respect. Keep resting ma.

November 2022, can't forget big daddy death, he called me few days before my birthday telling me how he was so proud of the boy, little did I know that dead men sorry ghost actually tell tales and damn, his light forcefully switched off.

In between those events, I've learnt to let go of my sentiments about dying, I believed in the powers of praying but when it comes to death, I don't waste my time any longer, we can only try but the bell will toll for whoever is next, be less emotional when any news of loss is being shared and lastly, I've used the words 'It Is Well With My Soul' as a coping mechanism.

Some circumstances just make a man heart cold, you'd hear their stories and sob for them.

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Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by seborrhic: 2:31pm On Feb 18
highchief1:
my immediate elder sister I was chatting with on whstapp.sent her a message she didn’t reply again.in an interval of 20mins I was called by her husband before I could get to the hospital I met her lifeless.athsmatic attack.she was even cooking.since then nobody can tell me anything again.i know I have been damaged for life.no pastor or doctor can redeem me.i am ready to die now now now.death doesn’t scare me no more.i kinda feel the other side will be more interesting because most of the ppl I love most are there.
Almost shedding tears reading death doesn't scare you again due to that experience.
But the thing about this life is that so long you are breathing and are not suicidal you just have to find a way to live.
It's not easy because some emotional pain and trauma can seem like what one cannot overcome.

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Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by RoeEvi(m): 2:31pm On Feb 18
WombBreaker:
Imagine saying your brother's mentally ill



TF


Schizophrenia is not a mental illness please



Your brother's a state of paranoia that his mommy died



Schizophrenia is any of a group of mental health conditions tending to have a serious impact upon personal, interpersonal, and occupational functioning, of which typical features are the occurrence of hallucinations and delusions, eccentric speech and behaviour, and diminished emotional expression and purposeful activity. It’s not until the person is on the street before the person is mentally ill.

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Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by sharpchap: 2:31pm On Feb 18
my big brother died in india and I was alone with him in the hospital. I cried my eyes out old man like me fa, a whole full grown african lion coming into his prime and I cried like a baby. It broke my heart , it broke my finances and my plans. If he had survived I wouldnt have cared and I would have borne my sacrifice with all happiness. Still happy I tried my best, I wouldnt be able to look myself in the mirror if I hadnt.

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Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by agujames4real(m): 2:32pm On Feb 18
My wife died in my presence some 3 years ago and believe me, life has not and may never be what it used to be.

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Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by Vecta5: 2:35pm On Feb 18
1.

2007, We had all gone to bed that night, I was sleeping peacefully when I heard my name.

I rushed to the main house cos I used to stay in the bq, I saw popsie gasping for air. We quickly took him to the hospital.

They gave him an injection that was supposed to calm him down. I just saw the white of his eyes turn inside out and that was it.

I was on the doctor in seconds swinging and hitting asking him questions at the same time. When everything calmed down, I went back to the room to see if popsie was just sleeping, I noticed the room had been locked.

I started another wahala there. That's when it dawned on me that someone that was healthy yesterday can be dead the very next day without any issue.

2.

In PH, we were all chilling in front of the house when my very good friend just complained about pain, I can't remember where on him the pain was so he and someone else decided to go to the hospital .

He made it to the hospital, but he didn't wait for a doctor to attend to him.

The person that went with him to the hospital said these where his last words "na die I de die go like this o" then he slumped right there in the hospital.

We rushed to the hospital but he was already gone

To this day, if anybody around me complains about anything, I take it very serious.

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Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by Gentlerespect76: 2:37pm On Feb 18
talk2hb1:
I can relate, when my Dad died in my hand in 2022, although I had the premonition 3days ahead.
I still can’t get over him till today.
Nobody can get over the loss of a parent. Not in this life. My own experience is that whenever I achieve anything, I remember my parents who are no longer in this life to celebrate the victory with me. And I tell you for free: I usually feel hollow at such moments. May God bless my parents with eternal rest and peace.

2 Likes

Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by jojothaiv(m): 2:38pm On Feb 18
pappilo:
My mom died at some point between Friday night and Saturday night. I was informed this morning.
This is heartbreaking.

Some tales makes a grown man cry.

1 Like

Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by dapotemi: 2:39pm On Feb 18
The truth is, we can never completely overcome the grief we had when we lose our love ones, we only try not to be overwhelmed by it....and we take solace in the fact that they have gone to rest....Deep rest from this wicked system of things...Jesus likened death to DEEP SLEEP...Reason why he refer to his friend, Lazarus as someone who had gone to sleep!
We take solace in the fact that our love ones are no longer in PAIN or any form of distress... Reading this page really gave me some goosebumps honestly and also brought back some memories I am doing my best not to remember..But for whatever it's worth, I pray that anyone going through the pain of losing their love ones finds joy in the everlasting promise of resurrection....e no easy at all...we go dey alright.

1 Like

Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by Mummyimbecile(m): 2:40pm On Feb 18
It's never an easy thing. My Dad died in my presence in the hospital.

It's never easy, but what can we do other than move on?

May God console all of us who have lost a loved one, it's not easy at all.
Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by DaddyRochie1642: 2:42pm On Feb 18
wisefingers:


7th of December 2023 at about 10pm, few hours to the naming ceremony, a day I will never forget, 6days after she gave birth to our one and only child during our first year of marriage.

The trauma began when she started complaining of cramps in the morning, I called the doctor and we went to the hospital afterwards, they attended to her through the day and she was getting stable, we were waiting for her to finish the last drip and get discharged when all of a sudden she started gasping for breath and in the space of 30 seconds before the medical team could do anything she gave it up right before my eyes.

Till today as I type, the shock hasn't left me, coupled with the fact that I was living with Anxiety disorder before the incident. This has taken me in and out of mental health clinics since then. The baby is barely 3months old, all by myself, life feels empty and miserable.

I will forever live with your memories Eunice. I love you.


I feel your pain, you have no option than to be a solid Rock for your child.

1 Like

Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by highchief1: 2:44pm On Feb 18
seborrhic:

Almost shedding tears reading death doesn't scare you again due to that experience.
But the thing about this life is that so long you are breathing and are not suicidal you just have to find a way to live.
It's not easy because some emotional pain and trauma can seem like what one cannot overcome.
I can’t overcome this one na.she was the one taking care of my dad in the hospital a week before she died.my dad got discharged,we all went home.she died 5days after my dad was discharged.it was the news of her death that threw my dad into coma which eventually killed him.i was at the morgue twice in a week.father and daughter were kept side by side in the morgue.my sister was just 38.im done with life baba.

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Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by nuelson2016(m): 2:44pm On Feb 18
Lincton:
My mom died 10 days ago after we've been managing her for about three months. I'm yet to recover from her loss.


May her soul & that of mine, all rest in Peace, truly I agree that there are now in a better place.!

All Glory to God.

1 Like

Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by DaddyRochie1642: 2:44pm On Feb 18
NGArmyTerrorist:
It can make you go crazy if care is not taking; it will be as if na this life abi na d other world, as he is sleeping; hard to accept that the person is dead. If you're with the person and with doctor, you will feel that doctors don't know their jobs again, you will be forced to try all manner of first aid tactics you learnt in your physical and health education in primary /secondary school;all to no avail. May God take this away from us.


You described the scenario well, something inside me died the day I saw our mother pass on.

1 Like

Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by TheGift: 2:53pm On Feb 18
DaddyRochie1642:
It's over one year I lost my mother to stage 4 breast cancer, the breast cancer was not detected early,

- I remember that day very clearly like it was yesterday,
- It was on a Sunday morning, she was responsive their on her hospital bed, she was even smiling with the doctor attending to her,
- I was there, my younger brother was there, my older cousin was there, we were there by her side, the doctor attending to her left,
- Few minutes after the doctor left, mummy closed her eyes,
- We immediately rushed and called the doctors to the situation, the brought their machine for CPR, the machine couldn't detect her pulse/vitals,
- She was pronounced dead after several efforts.
- I couldn't believe I just saw mummy die before my eyes,
- My younger brother went nuts right there in the hospital, my older cousin shed tears, his eyes were red, I was too shocked, I just sat down beside her body and held her hand for over an hour, she was 52years old.
- This memory plays in my head each day.

- My younger brother was never himself After mummy's passing,
- He developed some kind of mental health issues, it was so bad for him,
- My younger brother became a complete shadow of himself, this is someone that is full of Life and energy when mummy was alive.
- Doctor said it was schizophrenia which was triggered due to the loss of a loved one as he was very close to her.

- With combined efforts, my younger brother slowly overcame the mental health issue,
- Each time I look at him, I'm so glad we rallied around for him, I am so glad I played my role and stood by him at that low point in his life, I'm filled with happiness each time I see him.

- Witnessing a loved one die in your presence is a scar for life, it can damage a person for Life.

You can share your experience if you wish, it is not an easy thing to talk about.



So sorry to hear this.

My mum also died of breast cancer when I was about 9 years old. But it was not in my presence.

That must have been something.

Thank God for your brothers healing and restoration. And for you guys who stood by Him.

May you continue to heal with peace, equanimity and acceptance.

2 Likes

Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by adams123: 2:54pm On Feb 18
Most stories here are highly emotional despite the fact my both parents are still alive though I lost an elder sister last 2 years and I can relate the pain.. hardly a day passes by without praying for her soul as Islam encouraged.

Death is a common thing to all of us and after death there's life and judgement will follows before our final abode either hell🔥 or paradise.
And that's where we the right thinking human beings now need to come to a round table and think deep on the best way we can attain paradise and not the usual way of attacking and calling ourselves names in this platform.

THE ONLY WAY WE CAN ENTER PARADISE IS BY WORSHIPING GOD IN THE RIGHT WAY AND BY FOLLOWING HIS INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO DEAL WITH OURSELVES.
I ADVICE US TO READ ABOUT ISLAM AS THE ONLY WAY TO ENTER PARADISE IN OUR GENERATION IS THROUGH ISLAM

2 Likes

Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by Tallesty1(m): 2:54pm On Feb 18
WombBreaker:




That's a lie


I know a guy with schizophrenia that's doing well more than the average dude
Many people doing well in Nigeria have one mental disorder or another.

Almost all the people in Lagos have one.

You could have one yourself.

Say person has a mental problem no mean say he don kolo.

Nah Nigeria mentality be that.

Mental disorder = Kolo
Food poisoning = They don jazz you
Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by CondemnBattery(f): 2:58pm On Feb 18
Blacks will always be black.
Having mental health issues, doesn't mean the person is mad or crazy. Pipe down. And there's nothing wrong in his testimony about his brother being saved from mental health challenge
WombBreaker:
Imagine saying your brother's mentally ill



TF


Schizophrenia is not a mental illness please



Your brother's a state of paranoia that his mommy died


1 Like

Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by Anguldi(m): 3:00pm On Feb 18
highchief1:
I can’t overcome this one na.she was the one taking care of my dad in the hospital a week before she died.my dad got discharged,we all went home.she died 5days after my dad was discharged.it was the news of her death that threw my dad into coma which eventually killed him.i was at the morgue twice in a week.father and daughter were kept side by side in the morgue.my sister was just 38.im done with life baba.
Sad one, Hardluck Man
Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by owagbeba: 3:03pm On Feb 18
Many of deaths on this thread were caused by cancer. I wonder if these governments spending billions to go to the moon could just spare a fraction and R&grin a cancer cure.

Remember Manhattan project? Something similar. A congregation of the best medical brains to find a cure for cancer.

1 Like

Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by maxiuc(m): 3:06pm On Feb 18
After donating blood to my Dad despite all efforts my dad gave up I sensed he was going and left him with my sister drove down the house crying like never Just 10mins later my sister call came she was crying I said to myself hmmmm e don happen I drop back to the hospital watched my dad being tied up by the nurses

Chai this life eeeeh if you have witnessed someone dying right in your presence that's when you will know that life is nothing ever since then I don't feel anything when someone dies

1 Like

Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by DaddyRochie1642: 3:07pm On Feb 18
highchief1:
I can’t overcome this one na.she was the one taking care of my dad in the hospital a week before she died.my dad got discharged,we all went home.she died 5days after my dad was discharged.it was the news of her death that threw my dad into coma which eventually killed him.i was at the morgue twice in a week.father and daughter were kept side by side in the morgue.my sister was just 38.im done with life baba.



This kind of loss is beyond damaging.
Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by nedekid: 3:08pm On Feb 18
Really a traumatic experience. Mine happen last year, he called me to come, he told me he had difficulties breathing, we were talking normally, I checked his BP it was crazy, 230/160 or so, it went down the slop so fast. Someone that I was speaking with, within 15 min was dead!
Just cannot get over it months later.. embarassed
Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by Bahamas95(m): 3:13pm On Feb 18
I haven't experienced it before and I don't wish to experience it.
Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by ejimatic: 3:13pm On Feb 18
DaddyRochie1642:
It's over one year I lost my mother to stage 4 breast cancer, the breast cancer was not detected early,

- I remember that day very clearly like it was yesterday,
- It was on a Sunday morning, she was responsive their on her hospital bed, she was even smiling with the doctor attending to her,
- I was there, my younger brother was there, my older cousin was there, we were there by her side, the doctor attending to her left,
- Few minutes after the doctor left, mummy closed her eyes,
- We immediately rushed and called the doctors to the situation, the brought their machine for CPR, the machine couldn't detect her pulse/vitals,
- She was pronounced dead after several efforts.
- I couldn't believe I just saw mummy die before my eyes,
- My younger brother went nuts right there in the hospital, my older cousin shed tears, his eyes were red, I was too shocked, I just sat down beside her body and held her hand for over an hour, she was 52years old.
- This memory plays in my head each day.

- My younger brother was never himself After mummy's passing,
- He developed some kind of mental health issues, it was so bad for him,
- My younger brother became a complete shadow of himself, this is someone that is full of Life and energy when mummy was alive.
- Doctor said it was schizophrenia which was triggered due to the loss of a loved one as he was very close to her.

- With combined efforts, my younger brother slowly overcame the mental health issue,
- Each time I look at him, I'm so glad we rallied around for him, I am so glad I played my role and stood by him at that low point in his life, I'm filled with happiness each time I see him.

- Witnessing a loved one die in your presence is a scar for life, it can damage a person for Life.

You can share your experience if you wish, it is not an easy thing to talk about.


. If you are closer to your parents even if they die twenty years ago you will still be missing them. It is not an easy thing! Those who do not live with their parents may not understand the misses.
Even if they die at 100 the memories are cannot be easily forgotten!

1 Like

Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by AbuAeesha: 3:14pm On Feb 18
WombBreaker:




That's a lie


I know a guy with schizophrenia that's doing well more than the average dude
Oga,Suffering from a mental illness doesn't have to be that the person is crazy!
Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by MentalHades: 3:15pm On Feb 18
DaddyRochie1642:
It's over one year I lost my mother to stage 4 breast cancer, the breast cancer was not detected early,

- I remember that day very clearly like it was yesterday,
- It was on a Sunday morning, she was responsive their on her hospital bed, she was even smiling with the doctor attending to her,
- I was there, my younger brother was there, my older cousin was there, we were there by her side, the doctor attending to her left,
- Few minutes after the doctor left, mummy closed her eyes,
- We immediately rushed and called the doctors to the situation, the brought their machine for CPR, the machine couldn't detect her pulse/vitals,
- She was pronounced dead after several efforts.
- I couldn't believe I just saw mummy die before my eyes,
- My younger brother went nuts right there in the hospital, my older cousin shed tears, his eyes were red, I was too shocked, I just sat down beside her body and held her hand for over an hour, she was 52years old.
- This memory plays in my head each day.

- My younger brother was never himself After mummy's passing,
- He developed some kind of mental health issues, it was so bad for him,
- My younger brother became a complete shadow of himself, this is someone that is full of Life and energy when mummy was alive.
- Doctor said it was schizophrenia which was triggered due to the loss of a loved one as he was very close to her.

- With combined efforts, my younger brother slowly overcame the mental health issue,
- Each time I look at him, I'm so glad we rallied around for him, I am so glad I played my role and stood by him at that low point in his life, I'm filled with happiness each time I see him.

- Witnessing a loved one die in your presence is a scar for life, it can damage a person for Life.

You can share your experience if you wish, it is not an easy thing to talk about.


self praise and self focus are the central theme running through this article
Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by bolabadmus38: 3:17pm On Feb 18
Death is not about a member of a church or Islamic denomination. As one Islamic scholar recently preached. Undergoing therapy surgery and all those medical stufS is just extending the day of demise till when Almighty Allah has destined it. Looking at our fat Bank account and smiling is not as important as thinking about the how we shall account for all our deeds. Coming back to the topic I had a similar experience in 2009 at one of the general hospitals in Lagos. I was the only family member by my elder brother's side when the young Doctor place a flash drive by his brain and pronounced him dead after sleeping overnight at the hospital with him. I felt empty and scared seeing his lifeless body by my side. Anyway,my advice for everyone is to always remember we shall go one day as Almighty Allah has programed it.

3 Likes

Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by AuthorMan: 3:20pm On Feb 18
Kobojunkie:
By any chance, was your mother religious? Was she a member of any church were she prayed regularly or prayer groups or the likes? undecided

I actually thought your mental issues ended last year. I never knew you are yet to be alright.
You will be alright at last sha.

Happy new week.
Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by crusufixo(m): 3:21pm On Feb 18
Hmmm..... cry
Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by DaddyRochie1642: 3:22pm On Feb 18
MentalHades:
self praise and self focus are the central theme running through this article


Do I look like I give a Fúck!
Re: Witnessing A Loved One Die In Your Presence by AuthorMan: 3:24pm On Feb 18
Always thank God your mum passed on peacefully. There are some sicknesses that loved ones would go through and one would be praying and begging God to take them away.
When one sees loved ones in constant pain. Going to weeks to months.

You don't know how lucky you were.

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