BABE!:

Hm. Thanks for your input.

The thing is, I'm Nigerian (Yoruba), and in my culture, it's sort of disrespectful of my daughter to address someone that old, by his "first name".

Isn't that a bit too formal? Remember we are gonna be living together.

He's not her uncle though. So why should she call him "Uncle"?

Jenifa_:

uncle seems like the more sensible term to use though.
In yoruba culture, uncle refers to anyone older than you but not older than your father.
uncle is the most appropriate term in this case.

Ivynwa:

190 Baby how are you, it's been long.
How are you doing Baby?

190_@:


https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-823600.0.html

Jenifa_:


bah humbug.
in the yoruba culture,it's also disrespectful to be living with a man you are not married to.

if you can live with your current boyfriend and have a child with a previous bf (who also you probably were not married to), then let the girl call your bf whatever you wish her to call him. first name, uncle, mr, daddy, whatever you/she wish. lol
by now, she should have developed a relationship with him enough to be calling him something. what does she regularly call him? let her keep calling him by that name and over time, she will feel comfortable enough to call him dad (if he assumes that role in her life).

uncle seems like the more sensible term to use though.
In yoruba culture, uncle refers to anyone older than you but not older than your father.
uncle is the most appropriate term in this case.

pendo89:

Am neutral,so if I marry a man with kids,I wl appreciate if his kids call me mummy, cz even though am not the real one, am going to play that role in their lives and do it the best way I can to make them feel comfortable as 'my'daughters.
If it's the other way round, I will sit down my 6 year old, let him know he has a real dad but this present one is mummy's hubby and hes going to 'daddy him/her' since real daddy is not around. (Now a 6 year old can understand the basics don't go deep and stress)

And yes he/she can have 2 daddys, I don't see that as a hiccup at all. Its for respect sake cz I wouldn't feel comfortable my child calling the man I love by his first name as if they are agemates.
After all its the daddy who spends more time with the child that will influence him/her the most.They are both important.
When the child reaches the age of responsibility he/she can choose to call him whatever he wants, but I know that wouldn't be the case if he plays the Father role well.
Its good to consider a child's wishes but it also starts with how you treat the man.

freecocoa:

What are you people saying about calling him whatever she likes,that's not sense making,let her call him,DADDY 2 joor and her real father DADDY or call him PAPA while she maintains Dad for her father.

Seriously though,In nigeria this is even the least thing to worry about cos truss mi,there are lots of names to call him with UNCLE topping the list,in nigeria one doesn't have to be a relative before they can be your "uncle" we started having uncles from kindergarten through,primary and secondary schools,all our male teachers were"uncle"and the females"aunty" you can even tell a stranger "excuse me uncle or brother what's the time?"so its not even an issue likewise the "Daddy" sef,she's 6 she should be able to differentiate which one is her real dad,I have cousins of 4 and below who call my father "daddy"it doesn't mean they don't know their real dad,its just common to call an elderly person mum or dad especially the yoruba people sef.
If she was igbo,I'd have suggested she called him DEDE,come sef BABE!this your story is suspicious cos this wouldn't be an issue in naija especially with yoruba folks,she go don dey call am daddy before she even realize he wants to marry her mum.

deekseen:

BABE!: Little angel, we are moving in with Uncle Jide next week.
Little angel: so what do i call him now?
BABE!: you can call him daddy.
Little angel: so in a week's time my uncle will now be my daddy? What about my real daddy?
BABE!: sweetheart, you'll call uncle Jide daddy because we will be living together as a family and he will be a father-figure in the house. Your real daddy is still your real father, uncle Jide isn't your father, just your daddy cos we will be a family. Is that okay?
Little angel: okay mummy.
BABE!: i love you my angel.
Little angel: i love you too, mummy.

That should settle it.

Hardunnii:

She can call him whatever she likes, what you should be concerned abt is teaching your daughter moral principles which will be a diff task, since you dont have one urself, poor girl goodluck.

deekseen:

BABE!: Little angel, we are moving in with Uncle Jide next week.
Little angel: so what do i call him now?
BABE!: you can call him daddy.
Little angel: so in a week's time my uncle will now be my daddy? What about my real daddy?
BABE!: sweetheart, you'll call uncle Jide daddy because we will be living together as a family and he will be a father-figure in the house. Your real daddy is still your real father, uncle Jide isn't your father, just your daddy cos we will be a family. Is that okay?
Little angel: okay mummy.
BABE!: i love you my angel.
Little angel: i love you too, mummy.


That should settle it.

Hardunnii:

@kimberluge for the record, av never known a man
On d issue, [b]she probably [/b]didnt marry d gals dad, now she's moving in wit anoda dude, its wrong, call a spade a spade n not a garden fork

Eiregirl:

OH MY GOD!!!!!! The poor child! I'm not Nigerian, my husband is. He's Yoruba. I met him when my daughter was 10 months old. Her dad is VERY much in her life. My daughter is almost 7 years old now and she calls my husband by his first name!!!! He's not her dad, although he has reared her with me. I don't see the big deal. It's a name!!!! She calls her dad "dad" and she calls my husband by his first name!!!

D-sense:

Does someone has to be your uncle before u can be calling UNCLE?

Jenifa_:

in the yoruba culture,it's also disrespectful to be living with a man you are not married to.

Mynd_44:

Why not ask the guy what he would like to be called?
I eve doubt that this story is true cos a real guy born bread and buttered(and then yoruba) will not allow a woman who has a child by another man to move in with him unless they have done at least "INTRODUCTION" so this story is a hoax.

Eiregirl:

OH MY GOD!!!!!! The poor child! I'm not Nigerian, my husband is. He's Yoruba. I met him when my daughter was 10 months old. Her dad is VERY much in her life. My daughter is almost 7 years old now and she calls my husband by his first name!!!! He's not her dad, although he has reared her with me. I don't see the big deal. It's a name!!!! She calls her dad "dad" and she calls my husband by his first name!!!

Hardunnii:

@kimberluge for the record, av never known a man
On d issue, she probably didnt marry d gals dad, now she's moving in wit anoda dude, its wrong, call a spade a spade n not a garden fork

freecocoa:

What are you people saying about calling him whatever she likes,that's not sense making,let her call him,DADDY 2 joor and her real father DADDY or call him PAPA while she maintains Dad for her father.
Seriously though,In nigeria this is even the least thing to worry about cos truss mi,there are lots of names to call him with UNCLE topping the list,in nigeria one doesn't have to be a relative before they can be your "uncle" we started having uncles from kindergarten through,primary and secondary schools,all our male teachers were"uncle"and the females"aunty" you can even tell a stranger "excuse me uncle or brother what's the time?"so its not even an issue likewise the "Daddy" sef,she's 6 she should be able to differentiate which one is her real dad,I have cousins of 4 and below who call my father "daddy"it doesn't mean they don't know their real dad,its just common to call an elderly person mum or dad especially the yoruba people sef.
  If she was igbo,I'd have suggested she called him DEDE,come sef BABE!this your story is suspicious cos this wouldn't be an issue in naija especially with yoruba folks,she go don dey call am daddy before she even realize he wants to marry her mum.

I'm Yoruba, and I'm not bush!   The only person that should be called "daddy" is your "legal" daddy. The only people that should be called "uncles" are your damn Uncles.

A name/title should be "invented" for folks in my partner's situation.

deekseen:

BABE!: Little angel, we are moving in with Uncle Jide next week.
Little angel: so what do i call him now?
BABE!: you can call him daddy.
Little angel: so in a week's time my uncle will now be my daddy? What about my real daddy?
BABE!: sweetheart, you'll call uncle Jide daddy because we will be living together as a family and he will be a father-figure in the house. Your real daddy is still your real father, uncle Jide isn't your father, just your daddy cos we will be a family. Is that okay?
Little angel: Ermm No mummy. I have a REAL daddy and a FAKE daddy?
BABE!: No, baby. Not atall.
Little angel: You just said my dad is my REAL father, which makes Uncle Jide a FAKE.
BABE!:Uncle Jide is not your real father, neither is he fake. He is your "father-figure".
Little angel: Mummy?
BABE!: Yes angel?
Little angle: What is the opposite of Real, and why do I have two daddies? My best friend has only one.  
BABE!:  ------------

Matter not settled. You nefa jam. My baby is smart!