victorian: I Have Changed My Mind, No Longer Getting Married To My Muslim Fiance

I thought marriage is a shared effort between two parties. You share the joy, the difficulties, the happiness and thorns that comes along with it, but i was dead wrong yesterday. My fiance and I had a deep talk yesterday about possible challenges we were likely to encounter if we ended up married. After drawing up a lsit of those challenges, I felt like I could work round those challenges, however the only one i could not accept is his claim that he will not assist me financially should I have any financial issues in future.

I was surprised at this and asked if he was serious. First, I rarely ever ask him for money even when I get broke occasionally like everyone else, but how can I be married or even have a fiance that wont support me financially? For God sake, I am not an island that breeds and survives on its own. I am a normal human being like everyone else. My fiance stood his ground in spite of all these points I made and said "nope, I aint doing that."

What even hurts is the fact that he helps his friends and family out financially when they are down. So why should my case be different? I have come to realise that the reason for this might be tied to the fact that I am successful. He is sees it foolish to be there for me if am broke and to cap it all, he expects me to take care of our needs financially at home when we get married. We once made plans to save up for a car, but he stopped paying and told me that I should buy the car myself. According to him, the reason why he stopped paying was because I own a buisness while he is a salary earner. Is it crime to be successful?

I feel so sad, disgusted and realise that I can't go ahead and marry him. If I have to feel single while being married? What is the use of getting married in the first place If i cant count on my partner to be there for me. I don't think it is all about exchanging sweet words. Mere words are of no use to me. I receive sweet words everyday, so its no big deal. I have female friends and we assist each other sometimes, because everyday is not Christmas and sad situations happen that could make one go broke. I have worked myself hard for years, and I wont add to my workload after marriage. It is not worth it. Nah.....too much liability.

Anyway, this morning I told him I needed a break. I think we both need the break to think things through. We need to find out if we are suitable for each other or not. As far as I can see, I don't think so. Not any more. I thank God, he told me this on time before I took such a huge step as marriage. Abeg,let me focus on my business and friends that truly care about me. Can you guyz imagine?

Finland: Why say " my Muslim boyfriend?" what does religion has to do with this? mtchew!

victorian: I Have Changed My Mind, No Longer Getting Married To My Muslim Fiance

I thought marriage is a shared effort between two parties. You share the joy, the difficulties, the happiness and thorns that comes along with it, but i was dead wrong yesterday. My fiance and I had a deep talk yesterday about possible challenges we were likely to encounter if we ended up married. After drawing up a lsit of those challenges, I felt like I could work round those challenges, however the only one i could not accept is his claim that he will not assist me financially should I have any financial issues in future.

I was surprised at this and asked if he was serious. First, I rarely ever ask him for money even when I get broke occasionally like everyone else, but how can I be married or even have a fiance that wont support me financially? For God sake, I am not an island that breeds and survives on its own. I am a normal human being like everyone else. My fiance stood his ground in spite of all these points I made and said "nope, I aint doing that."

What even hurts is the fact that he helps his friends and family out financially when they are down. So why should my case be different? I have come to realise that the reason for this might be tied to the fact that I am successful. He is sees it foolish to be there for me if am broke and to cap it all, he expects me to take care of our needs financially at home when we get married. We once made plans to save up for a car, but he stopped paying and told me that I should buy the car myself. According to him, the reason why he stopped paying was because I own a buisness while he is a salary earner. Is it crime to be successful?

I feel so sad, disgusted and realise that I can't go ahead and marry him. If I have to feel single while being married? What is the use of getting married in the first place If i cant count on my partner to be there for me. I don't think it is all about exchanging sweet words. Mere words are of no use to me. I receive sweet words everyday, so its no big deal. I have female friends and we assist each other sometimes, because everyday is not Christmas and sad situations happen that could make one go broke. I have worked myself hard for years, and I wont add to my workload after marriage. It is not worth it. Nah.....too much liability.

Anyway, this morning I told him I needed a break. I think we both need the break to think things through. We need to find out if we are suitable for each other or not. As far as I can see, I don't think so. Not any more. I thank God, he told me this on time before I took such a huge step as marriage. Abeg,let me focus on my business and friends that truly care about me. Can you guyz imagine?

Sweetlemon: You see! @op, thank God you took my advice to shine your eyes wella before getting married to him. Nigerian guys of today are fast turning into gold diggers. They want to marry high earning women all in the name of marrying an "independent woman" so that they can shy away from their God-given duties of being the main providers of the family! So many women have fallen into this trap thinking "oh! he admires my abilities, he is proud of my achievements" only to wake up to reality the night after the honeymoon! because the truth is that we women love to be taken care of even if we have our own money. FACT!
Men!
p.s,There are still some good self-respecting ones out there who still firmly believe in taking the lead roles in caring of their wives and kids finances even though their wives earn higher.
Goodluck to all of us!

JimOvia: Wow. People on nairaland are so so gullible. You guys believe anything. No matter what someone writes, he'll get comments.... By the way I'm not a human typing this. I'm actually an alien in my spaceship.

cindyrella:

Bless you!

Erm... erm....
*Sneeze*

Dyt: Sneezes

cindyrella: I don't belive the op one bit

diesel86: @ poster u mst be a stupid fellow for using that caption MUSLIM fiance cld it not av been simple fiance.

Vikin:
Why do you think she is seeking attention? yall need to grow up!

What if she just needs your input or comment to the subject @ hand?

If you dont have anything to contribute just hit the back button and let the thread be.

Attention seeking

United_abby: @sweetlemon,are you married?why?i think we'll make a great couple!

victorian: I Have Changed My Mind, No Longer Getting Married To My Muslim Fiance

I thought marriage is a shared effort between two parties. You share the joy, the difficulties, the happiness and thorns that comes along with it, but i was dead wrong yesterday. My fiance and I had a deep talk yesterday about possible challenges we were likely to encounter if we ended up married. After drawing up a lsit of those challenges, I felt like I could work round those challenges, however the only one i could not accept is his claim that he will not assist me financially should I have any financial issues in future.

I was surprised at this and asked if he was serious. First, I rarely ever ask him for money even when I get broke occasionally like everyone else, but how can I be married or even have a fiance that wont support me financially? For God sake, I am not an island that breeds and survives on its own. I am a normal human being like everyone else. My fiance stood his ground in spite of all these points I made and said "nope, I aint doing that."

What even hurts is the fact that he helps his friends and family out financially when they are down. So why should my case be different? I have come to realise that the reason for this might be tied to the fact that I am successful. He is sees it foolish to be there for me if am broke and to cap it all, he expects me to take care of our needs financially at home when we get married. We once made plans to save up for a car, but he stopped paying and told me that I should buy the car myself. According to him, the reason why he stopped paying was because I own a buisness while he is a salary earner. Is it crime to be successful?

I feel so sad, disgusted and realise that I can't go ahead and marry him. If I have to feel single while being married? What is the use of getting married in the first place If i cant count on my partner to be there for me. I don't think it is all about exchanging sweet words. Mere words are of no use to me. I receive sweet words everyday, so its no big deal. I have female friends and we assist each other sometimes, because everyday is not Christmas and sad situations happen that could make one go broke. I have worked myself hard for years, and I wont add to my workload after marriage. It is not worth it. Nah.....too much liability.

Anyway, this morning I told him I needed a break. I think we both need the break to think things through. We need to find out if we are suitable for each other or not. As far as I can see, I don't think so. Not any more. I thank God, he told me this on time before I took such a huge step as marriage. Abeg,let me focus on my business and friends that truly care about me. Can you guyz imagine?

yemi 22: why d muslim. Rubbish.i dnt blame u.i blame the moderator that put the post on the front page