₦airaland Forum

obongproff: Guys, pls what do you think of this kinda situation? If there are two ladies in your life, say Miss A and Miss B. You are crazy about Miss A but Miss A only has feelings for you and is attracted to you. Then there is Miss B whom you have feelings for you and are attracted to. But Miss B is totally crazy about you. Which of these two will you take to the aisle, since you can't "polygamise"? Bearing in mind that both of them are cute.

Humourous and stupid comments are also welcomed.

Well, they both seem to meet the minimum requirement where feelings are concerned -- at least in my opinion, they do -- so you'll need to evaluate them further using other pertinent factors.

I wore some shoes this morning.

Amya: First off, let me start by saying this is a 100% true. If any one knows me on Nl, they'd know I don't make up stories.

My Dad's youngest sister is 39. she just got married last year to an AA guy she met on an online dating site. They got married here in Nigeria, so she has to be in nigeria for 2 years before gets her green card to join him.

The guy has been to Nigeria a couple of times, but I haven't met him. He sent me a friend request on facebook, and earlier in the year, he asked my Aunty to give him my bb pin. We started chatting innocently. I call him uncle, and he calls me 'my sexy niece' he always try to chat me up every other day. After a while the communication stopped. We didn't chat fo 2 months, but I could care less.

Yesterday, he went on full toasting mode. Telling me his marriage between by Aunty and him is over, and how he's always been in L♥√ع with me and want's to marry me. I was trying to see reasons with him (more out of respect than anything else) why the liaison would never work, because his wife in question is my Aunt! Plus I have a bf I L♥√ع.
He went on to say " fuc.kk tradition! Fuc.kk family!!! I want you to be here in new york city with before the end of the year. We'll get married here and bla bla bla" It was shocking and traumatising.

I'll never be foolish enough to fall for that crap. But I may just teach him a few lessons never to mess with a naija girl (by chopping him mugu)

I really don't know whether or not to tell my Aunt about this and make it a family issue.

Despite your attempts to paint youself innocent and the victim in this matter, it is obvious to anyone astute enough, that

-you were an enabler
-you absolutely earlier on knew what he was up to, and you entertained it
- you are partly to blame for this mess.

If you must teach anyone a lesson, please start with yourself.

egbeman1: Am an igbo guy in my mid 20's,and feel in love with this yoruba girl few months ago on bbm.We flowed well,had nice time together,even though we met just once.Today she said that her parents won't allow me marry her,and that we should brk up.I tried convicing her,yet she insisted dat she loves me but can't continue cos of our religion and tribe.I deleted her few hours ago just to get her outta my mind.

I initialy thought she was joking and told her I wil change to islam,yet she said I can't change my name and tribe.

I luv the girl so much,still can't stop thinking of her now.I alwas tell her that I wil marry her cos of the love I have for her.

She 19 and will be 20 next month.

Pls wat should I do? I need serious advice friends.This the only place i will hear the truth and gud advice

Let me get this right: You have met this girl only once, but you

- have fallen in love with her
- are prepared to marry her
- are prepared to jettison your religion, your core belief, your God, for her.


Well, you asked for the truth, so I'll give it to you: You, Sir, are a blatant fool... If you are prepared to give up that much for someone you don't really know -- you think you do, but you don't -- then you have to be.

To make you even more foolish, the girl you are so willing to make such huge sacrifice for, is not prepared to make any for you.

I strongly suggest you move your thinking from the small head to the big one.

ebera: My dears,I have bn dating my boy friend for 5 yrs,since my ss3 and I am currently in my 400 level.he is working now,bt we are in different states because of his work.since early dis year dt he gt work in abuja,he hasn'† bn comfortable leaving me down here.he opted 2 meet my parents @ the end of dis year,bt I tld him ealier dan now,infact right frm time dt I don'† want any marriage issue til I'm out of sch.I ave got 1 year of my final,my internship and service,dts 3 yrs.bt since he went to abuja,he has given me just 1 year 2 finish my schooling,dt my internship and service wil b done after wedlock,bt I dnt wnt dt.I feel soo tied down.I love my bf sooooooo much dt I can't choose anoda,bt all I wnt is a little indepence,mayb 2 yrs.we even had a big fight over the phone cos he felt I wz no longer interested.I dnt knw whether 2 agree because I dnt wnt him doubtn my love cos I lv him,bt in d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ other sense,I wanna do my internship b4 wedlock.my elder sis got married in her 500 level,and I saw how she depended on d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ husband during d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ weding preparation,souvenirs and the rest.she hadn'† even enough money to make souvenirs 4 her cosmates.dt I dnt want,bt he does nt want 2 understand.this is really causing Trouble.I dnt know whether he is also considering his age,bt am nt complaining.I am 22 and he is 35.should I keep quiet til he returns in august or keep saying my stand on it.pls useful advice pls.

Do not let anyone or anything stampede you into getting married because you'll regret it. Your decision to get married should be in agreement with your intuition.

Essentially, your boy friend is saying " if you love me you'll get married to me now " . Well tell him " if you love me you'll wait a few years till am done with school and emotionally ready ".

Your request is really not unreasonable but on the contrary, very mature and wise. I really admire you for that; your boy friend should too.

acidtalk: Aside his being quick tempered, she considers him a very near perfect man.

What can she do to help him change or stop making him upset?

Two things:

1.) You cannot change anyone. Only the person in question has the power to effect a change.

2.) You cannot upset anyone. We are the ones who choose to either get upset or not.

Your friend has to decide if this particular trait of his is a deal breaker or if it's something she can manage and live with.

omowa1: This is exactly how she wrote it!

I am a 23year old female. My parents died when I was 8 then I dropped out of school because no one could afford to pay my fees. I then met this guy when I was 14 and he sent me back to school. He was selling fruit then but still he was Able to pay my fees. He then got a job as a truck driver and sent me to university. My problem is that I feel I can't continue with this relationship because he is not my type, he isn't fluent in English, he is a very short man plus some other Personal stuffs.

I feel I have paid him back for his Good Deeds cos I give him sex anytime and anywhere he wants. But now he can't meet up to my demands. How best can I tell him that he is not my type without hurting his feelings? I am grateful that he sent me to school but I can't be in a relationship with him anymore. I want somebody in my own class, not a truck driver.
Please help!

Do not feed the troll!!!

The OP is clearly trolling: No one would use such derogatory language to describe her long-time benefactor, and I find it almost implausible that an illiterate and very poor man would pay much attention to the education of his girl friend. I am almost certain that I have seen this exact scene in a Nigerian movie. OP, try nice though .

acidtalk: Is This Enough Reason To End A Relationship And Call Off Marriage Plans?

A close friend just called a few minutes ago to lament (and cry in between) that the girl he has been dating for 18 months and was deemed fit to marry by all members of his family and friend was discovered to be a mother of a 7 years old boy.

She kept this away from my friend all this while and it is only 5 months to their supposed wedding.

When he confronted her about it last night, she denied it for over 2 hours until when he started to dish out evidences she could no longer deny.

She swore she would have told him before their wedding day, but this friend is adamant saying he is over with her because only God knows the so many other secrets she is keeping from him.

He swore he would have almost thought she was even a virgin if he hadn't made love to her before. She looks so innocent and loving.

Human beings and pretense.

Please tell your friend to dump her and quickly. Barring any threats to her life and/or the son's life, there is no conceivable reason why a mother should hide and deny her own flesh and blood!

Her behaviour is very telling and is an indication that she is, of low morals, manipulative, insidious, and what priority she will assign to your future kids.

I find it ludicrous the attempts here to attribute this deception to a fear of losing the love of your friend. Love is not just a feeling, but more of a behaviour.. If you love somone you will not attempt to deceive them -- at least not to this extent -- for any personal benefit, which appears to be marriage in this case; if you really love your child, you will not hide him/her nor deny him/her, even for the sake of getting married, which she appears to be more interested in.

Even after your friend confronted her with this shocking discovery, she still denied her child for 2 hours till your friend had to present irrefutable evidence!!! This girl has a strong devious mind and your friend will be very foolish to go ahead with the wedding. At the very least, he should postpone the wedding indefinitely till he gets to know who this woman really is.

The main reason why relationships fail is because the parties involve chose to overlook the red flags for less important things; your friend has a big one here and it is flashing.

1ndidi2: Dating a man that never kisses,only wants to have sex! Does that tell anything about the relationship,like he doesn't love her enough?

Not necessarily.

1ndidi2: or are there some guys who naturally don't like it?

Yes, and some women too.

Flexie: I received a text message from my girlfriend this morning saying dat:
Nofin is gonna stop my love for you , wat ever it may be, i promise neva to hurt you again, buh pls dont ask me wt i av done, jez knw dah i love you and will always do u mean everything to me . tk care!.
she traveled to enugu state for her friends Matriculation though i dint support it buh i had no choice dan to let her go. and now dis morning i receive dis text""shes a virgin o"" PLEASE PEOPLE WHAT DO I DO NOW AND FAST PLEASE

Obviously, something has happened that she knows will meet your displeasure...but to conclude, at this point, that she must have cheated on you, even though it's a possibility, is rather unintelligent.

I would suggest you let her know, in no uncertain terms, that she must reveal what happened should she still desire to continue the relationship. If she fails to do so, If I were you, I'd terminate the union.

gst101: is it possible to be in a relationship in which there is no romantic feeling? I mean having a woman you love just like a friend. If possible, can a man feel fufiled in such a relationship? Can he attach his heart to it by force?

It's feasible...but only in the beginning. Sooner than later, one or even both of you will develop feelings.

Eminentsam: I began to develop feelings for her when i noticed her in my church and i started considering her for marriage but on approachin and drawing closer to her i discovered she is abt 2 yrs older than me but stil looks very young like d same age or even younger than me and i hav proposed to her already pls advice me bc i realy like her and am an only son.

Please help me out here: How will a 2 years older woman prevent you from having a meaningful relationship ? Am really not -- at least not at this point -- trying to be critical; just want to understand your rationale.

Expensivem: This is a question my one and only brother is asking . Pls your contribution is highly needed.
Charlse is a brother of mine , by God's grace , he acquired little wealth. He fell in love with grace , who is an under graduate , 300 level to be precised. They dated for just 3 months , and went into marriage.
During courtship, charlse asked grace what her gynotype is , and she said she is {AA} while chalse is {AS} . With this result , they were both fit for marriage , and charlse went ahead with his proposal.
Before their wedding , the priest requested for their gynotype , same result as above were presented to the priest for confirmation. He went ahead and got them wedded. They did their honey moon in London
She took in and deliverd "Nora" after 9 months.
She took in again after 6 months . It was then that Nora became sick, initially , we thought the sickness was a result of d second pregnancy, due to a contaminated breast milk from her mother. After series of test, it was noted that NORA has {SS} gynotype. Now the question is ..... where comes d {SS} gynotype .......?
It's quit obvious that Grace knew that she has {AS} gynotype , but refused to make it known to Charlse, so that she can enter that home , simply because of the wealth.
Now , Charlse being totally confused because he loved Grace so much, is asking if he should divorce Grace or go ahead with the marriage and face the risk of bearing {SS} children.

While I empathize with your brother, the decision to divorce or not, is entirely his. No one can/should make it for him. Good luck!

Freiburger: Share your opinion with us here.

Depends on the extent of the display, and on the surrounding. Too much, and in the midst of young children, can be inappropriate.

prettyjulie: In a situation where one Ȋ̝̊̅§ in a relationship aπϑ hangs around with friends of the opposite gender or goes on a date with someone else even when N̤̥̈̊ø̲̣̣̥ intimacy or form of romance Ȋ̝̊̅§ involved only τ̲̅ȍ be caught on such dates by the real partner ,does it mean the person Ȋ̝̊̅§ cheating on his/her partner?

At the minimum, cheating is taking something away from your partner or relationship and giving it to someone or something else. Sex doesn't have to occur before it's classified as cheating.

To your question, of course you were cheating. You even stated " or goes on a date with someone else " You do realize the intent behind going on a date, right ? Do people who have partners still go on dates ?

supertop7: I expressly told my gurl friend dat am in love wit her and dat she can see d efforts am making to see her b4 she travells nd , all she need say is to tell me to control my emotion nd love. Wats is d meaning of dis?

Am sorry but my magic crystal ball is out for repairs, so in the meantime -- and I know this is an extremely difficult thing to ask of a human being -- can you ask your girl friend what she means ?

toygod2: if u were the man, what would you do remembering the fact that u are a man of God, so divorce is not an option.

Why would divorce not be an option ? If my memory serves me well, according to the bible, one is allowed to divorce but only on the grounds of infidelity.

The man wouldn't be committing a sin if he chooses to avail himself of that option.

MizLiz: Pls is there any crime in double-dating? cos I soooo feel lyk it now. I'm kinda tired of my presnt rlatnshp, though I lv him, bt I dunno if ''he's da one.''

It's not a crime -- a better term is "wrongdoing" -- if the other party is made aware of your intent, and is agreeable to it.

koozy: but she was kinda hot tho

The expression that a person is "lovely" goes well beyond the subject's physical attributes.

Mynd_44: Wasn't she? I though the bible said she was beautiful

The expression that a person is "lovely" goes well beyond the subject's physical attributes.

DON OTEGA: This is my true life story that a friend i took into my house and feed for more than 3months inturn saw how lovely my girlfriend was and suddendly became very jealous and started wooloing her on my behalf.
He went as far as telling my girlfriend that i have 5 different girls that i dont love her and i have even giving birth to a child while i was still in the university and all these are patoligical lies. Now i dont know what to do.
i need your advise please.

Have you considered the possibility that your GF is being manipulative ? Am pretty sure Ahab, if he were alive today, will tell you that Jezebel was " lovely ".

pleep: Well i can see her point. Have you noticed that when you are sick your mother or father don't shy away from you? They will stay by your side even if it means they will get sick themselves.
It really is an indicator of love.

Am sorry, but you can not equate the love a mother or father has for his/her child with that a GF has for a BF.

One is unconditional and the other is really not.

Theben: Can you guys imagine!!!!!!
My girlfriend of 2 years came to my house yesterday and was coughing incessantly as though she has asthma. Asked her what the problem is, she answered by telling me twas just cold that she would be fine soon.
So, i felt i needed to give her space to recover from whatever ailment she's suffering from. When she noticed i wasn't coming close to her, her countenance changed, she said i never loved her, that all the sweet words i told her in the past was just for me to have access to her honey pot.
Having tried convincing her about my reason for not coming close to her, she insisted that my only way to affirm my love for her is my giving her a french kiss. Knowing fully well that cough is contagious, i told her i would when she is fine. she flared up and left my house o. Now she has refused to pick my calls.
Guys if you were in my shoes, would you have consented to her demand?

Absolutely not..Sorry to tell you, but your GF isn't very bright.

Ojeilevbare: How would you feel or rather what would be your reaction, if you wake up after a romantic nite and find that your girl wet your bed.

Mistakes do happen..It will only be an issue if the bedwetting becomes a frequent occurrence.

frank3.16:
apart from being a fool for a man, i think you have serious personality issues that you should help yourself by solving before u even date another girl in ur life. here are some of them:

1. you date and fall inlove with a girl in your class, now if it were someone else i wont complain, but with u, this shows u are narrow minded, introverted, stingy and unfriendly. the world is larger than you class and u need to widen ur horizon. please break off from this wall of insecurity!

2. her boyfriend and NEIGBOURS join hand to beat you: when i read this i asked myself, wating concern them, but this made me see u are a person who easily form bad first impression. you are just not a likeable person and u are everything that girl does not want in a man. you are proud yet u know nothing. her neigbours hate u, i wonder how she must have felt about this. the bad news is that u are so stuck up in ur world that u dont have a single idea that u are simply hated by many and not just ur girl.

3. you dont have any friend but her even at 27: now i think i also dont like you. you push people away from you, telling ur self that you dont need them in your life. well, let me tell u something no man is an island, and its a pity that you are just discovering it after 27yrs of a miserable life. now she is gone and you are lonely.

generally, i think you have more issues than the girl in quote. please let her be, because you are driving her crazy by being in her life. YOU ARE AN UNWANTED PEST.

NB: at 27, you are not a kid, but my 14 years old little brother will never act like u.

Surely, the OP has his issues, but you are being unnecessarily acerbic and overly presumptuous!

Barring the use of a psychic ball, the inferences you have drawn are based on insufficient information, faulty logic and on psychological projection.

I think YOU have quite a number of issues that you need to deal with; much more than the OP.

ajayioluwatobi: I SAW THIS POST ON A BLOG PLEASE COMMENT

Hello everyone!
My husband and I intend to apply for a visa in Canada. He has two children (13 and 18) from his first marriage, who live with their mother and aren’t coming with us to Canada. We were told by our immigration agent that we would have to provide a declaration from his ex-wife saying that she is aware that he his immigrating and that she has nothing to oppose to that. Also, we must include them in our process of applying for a visa and deliver medical exams from them also.
The thing is that the relationship between my husband and his ex-wife is very bad and he doesn’t have any contact with his children.
Does anyone know if it is possible to get the visa, excluding them totally from our visa process?
Thank you very much for your help.

This one is very easy now: Tell your husband to tell them -- Ex-wife and kids -- that if they comply, they too will be getting the Canadian visas and eventually become Canadian citizens. Before you know it, they'll quickly renew contact with him and start loving him very well. Even the Ex-wife will become your best friend... well, untill they get the visas.

Titusolufemi: Anytime i did anything wrong she wont say it,she wil just get angry nt immediately bt when i ask her wat i did she wont respond.i wil hav 2 beg her without knowing wat i did wrong.. Again she is too inquisitive(tries 2 knw evritin). She neva cal me 2 tel me my wrong. DOES SHE LOVE ME?

She is doing it because she knows you're going to put up with it !

Quit being a doormat, make her grow the f*ck up by ignoring her the next few times she does this, and you'll see a miracle.

Anyone astute enough can see that you are in for a life of abuse -- both verbal and physical -- should you decide to continue this relationship.

It usually starts out with the aggressor seen as being "too loving" then he/she becomes possessive, controlling, and ultimately, verbal and physical abuse ensues.

Run away from the guy now. If you decide to remain despite this signs, then you have no one else to blame but yourself.