₦airaland Forum

Cosmetic concerns
1. “I have ugly feet.”
2. Do you have something to make my nails
stronger & hair shinier before my holiday
tomorrow?”
3. “My chin looks too fat in photos on Facebook
– I need an operation.”
4. “I’ve bought these fancy anti-ageing face
creams. Can you look at the ingredients and tell
me which order I should use them in?”
5. “I have grey hairs….I’m nearly 40….have I got a
medical condition?”
The most minor of problems
1. “I have sneezed twice in the last hour”.
2. Can you fix my sprained ankle before I go out
tonight as I want to wear heels.”
3. “I broke my nail.”
4. “I have had a sore throat since this morning.”
5. I had an insect bite last week and it itched like
hell. It’s gone now, but wondered if it will itch if I
get another one?”
Everyday life
1. “Doctor – my stomach makes this weird
rumbling/gurgling noise whenever I haven’t
eaten.”
2. “A bird pooped on me”.
3. “My skin is too soft.”
4. “I get sore feet when I dance in high heels.”
5. My lodger is annoying me because he’s
spending too much time in his room.”

Affairs of the heart:
1. “I’ve just been on holiday with my mistress.
I’ve just got back and work want to know where
I’ve been. I’d like a sick note to cover me.”
2. “I need some advice as I want to break up with
my boyfriend and I don’t know what to say”
3. “Doctor, I have cheated on my partner and now
I don’t know who to choose”.
4. “Can you settle a marital dispute? My wife
thinks paracetamol is better, I think ibuprofen is.
Who’s right?”
5. “Doctor, can you tell my husband to stop
buying food that’s near it’s ‘sell by’ date as he’s
wasting money.”
Anxious parents:
1. “Doctor, please tell my son to study harder so
he can get into Eton.”
2. “My sleepy baby keeps rubbing her eyes.”
3. “What normal 15-year-old boy doesn’t have
porn on their computer?! I’ve looked and looked
but he really doesn’t! That’s not normal!”
4. “My daughter has a brown rash on her
leg.” (felt tip pen ink which was rubbed off with
an Alco wipe pad)
5. “My son’s shoes are rubbing him.”

more..

more...

Lagos State of Nigeria new look

Lagos State Governor- SAN,
Ogun State Governor- Chartered Accountant,
Ondo State Governor- Doctor,
Osun State Governor- Engineer
Ekiti StateGovernor- ??
Help me out please.

wizkid should be number 1 on the substitutes list

I dont care... all i know is #march4buhari.. Nigerians cant wait to parade buhari to aso villa

men at work.... What if JESUS COMES TODAY?

those bitch aint loyal.... Those hoes aint loyal

joncom:
Pls can u summarise?

oga jona is plotting 2 years extension.. Chikena

[color=#000099][/color] this is the result when you vote a person with no shoes #march4buhari

#march4buhari CHANGE

This is why it'll be difficult for us to move forward.. Nigerians never take things serious, I pity for this indomie generation

Buhari 4 presido.. Power go change hand, bro. Yemi osibanjo I c u ooo

Which name can you give this type of food

You all forget to add the MOVIE lovers; they spend all their time watching every type of films. They will ask you, have you watched this or that? Mehnnn.., hostel life

@everybody.., I've been following this tread for a while now and I observe that most students like me are also interested in undergraduate studies in germany. The common reply we're used to is 'NO' you can't study in germany with your waec and ND results.. My new question is.. With my knowledge of B1 german language,waec,nd ND certificates can't I get admission to any preparatory/introductory course(Studienkollegs)..pls ans. ASAP

1. “ARCHITECTS MAKE A LOT OF MONEY.”
This is not true. (But people assume it is.)
2. ARCHITECTS ARE USED TO LATE NIGHTS.
In theory, it shouldn’t be a problem to stay up all night for
sexytime. But in reality, they probably pulled an all-nighter
last night and are ready to crash at 8 tonight.
3. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A FAT ARCHITECT.
For some reason. I have no idea.
4. THINGS YOU NEVER EVEN KNEW EXISTED ARE
NOW THE MOST IMPORTANT. THING. EVER.
“That is the ugliest f*cking radiator ever”, “How did they
not align the light switch with the outlet?” “What’s your
favorite kind of hinge?” “What’s your favorite CAD
command?”
5. THEY’RE PROBABLY ANAL.
They probably have one of three “systems” for organizing
their bookshelves: by color, by size (largest to smallest), by
publisher. None of these make any sense and ironically
provide the very opposite of “order”, but it doesn’t matter,
because it looks better. In fact, they will have a “system”
for everything, including organizing the fridge and how to
put their clothes away. You might think it’s cute at first, an
endearing quirk – until you realize how much of their
precious little free time is consumed by obsessing over
things that a) no one cares about and b) does not enhance
their lives in any way. 6. AFTER A WHILE, YOU WILL ONLY HANG OUT WITH
ARCHITECTS.
This happens. Hope you don’t just love your architect, but
that you love ALL architects.
7. YOU WON’T GET STUDIO.
Prepare yourself for constant references to this mysterious
place called “studio” that they spent every waking moment
of their college lives in, and never being let on on the
inside jokes, with explanations like “you had to be there”
or “it was a lot funnier at four in the morning.”
8. THEY WILL BE COFFEE SNOBS.
If it’s not organically grown, economically sustainable and
socially consciously harvested, and brewed in a vintage
French Press OR a Chemex, chances are, they might
politely decline your coffee. Until, four minutes later, they
realize they’re caffeine deprived and, ethics be damned,
this presentation needs to get to Dubai by 1AM…
9. ARCHITECTS ARE PASSIONATE, DEDICATED
PEOPLE.
They didn’t get through 5 years of architectural school by
being lazy, indifferent and stupid. (Need a first date
conversation starter? Ask them about how many people
dropped out of their program freshman year – they’ll be all
too proud to tell you that “they were one of the few” who
made it out unscathed.”) They know just enough about
every culturally relevant artist, philosopher, composer etc
to make them seem exceptionally worldly and cultured –
your parents should love them. Keep in mind that it’s all a
facade (no pun intended!) and that if you were to press
them on any one of those topics, they’ll find a way to
skillfully manipulate the conversation into some abstract
“concept” and avoid being called out on not knowing shit.

I wud some1 2 xplain d difference(s) btw dem, tx 4 ur contributions

I'm a student studying architectural tech. I'll like u guyz to bring different ideas on how to be successful architects, how to av good grades in design works..and more ure welcome