DCmaverick:
My last card is #1,000 and am thinking of managing it for the next 3days. I need advice on hw to manage it.
please help a brother

tomi4life:
I am 35 and my wife is 29, we have been married for 6 years now, we have 2 children a boy and a girl. We didnt court much during our courtship because of long distance.

I really have a problem with my wife and not sure what can be done to address, now I must be very honest am not sure there is anything I can do I just want to use the platform to vent my frustration.

My marriage has not been very good, lately myself and my wife leave like room mates and not lovers, despite the age difference between me and my wife she doesnt really respect me. For the 6 years we have been in marriage 3 things have caused all our fights: cooking, Sex and finance

My wife rarely cooks in the house, things around welfare are not taken seriously, actually in a week, my wife can cook for me just 1 time. She cooks for the children and baths for them daily, we also have a help who does alot of cooking. She rarely askes me what I will eat, honestly I always have to go to the kitchen to sort myself, sometimes I buy food outside from eateries and bucker. Sometimes when she cooks it usually very late 10pm. I have complained severally and what happen is she tries to change, after a week, we are back to the same state. My wife can do without cooking for me for weeks. It really really pains me cos am a foody and I knw hw my mum treats matters of food. she is this person that forms busy, either she is busy with work or some church activities, she always has an excuse. She goes to work only ones a weeks the remaining 4days are remote. To address this issue I now order soups from major restaurant outlets, An example is today easter sunday, I had to tell our maid to prepare rice for myself and the kids, cos my wife was in church, we all went to church but she decided to stay back, knowing fully well no food was prepared.

Sex: [/b]our sex life is very boring, when we got married we always fight about sex, cos anytime I ask for it she always complain she is tired, so what I now do is ask for it only sat morning, brethen this is only day I get sex. If I miss that day, it is still next week. We sleep in different rooms, she sleeps with the children in the master bedroom while I sleep alone in another room. I can tell most time she doesnt enjoy it and never ever askes for it, I always ask and initiate it. She just lays like a log, even kisses is a no no, except she is really on, which rarely happens.
[b]
Finance: I have always earned more than my wife, when we got married, I was earning 3 times what she was earning, but she changed jobs and got promoted severally and we were earning the same amount. she also does alot of side runs where she gets 200-300k monthly as side hustle, there was even a time she was earning more than I did. I dint let it bother me I continue to foot the entire house bills. 95% of the enitre house of comes from me, she only pays the maid , buys cooking gas and my sons diaper. Every other thing in the house is covered by me, house rent, school fees, project, all the bills. I give her 75k as food money monthly. I have continue to question her why I should give her food moeny if I still have to end up going out to eat. I think the only reason she sometime listens to me is cause i still provide the finances for the house. The time she was earning more I could see how she belittle some of my decisions. I just prayed to God, cos I noticed the respect was gone, when I talk to her about her role as a mum and mother to the home, she says she is working, she is busy, I mentioned to her that the money she works is for her, she doesnt share with the house, I have never asked her for it and am not against her working, she however should not neglect her responsibility as a mum. That my role as a father, God helping me is to provide, and this is why I work. I also noticed when I got a new job and my salary increased she kinda off felt jealous she didnt tell me but i noticed it, she began to aggressively look for jobs.


I really dont think we have that initmacy, we are just there, my wife cant come to tell me anything bothering her, she keeps to herself. Funny part is she is a very religious person, my wife will sleep with bible on her hand, wake up with bible pray and serve in various church unit, I however dont think she really understands what she reads. She also has a very bad temper sometimes when I raise certian issues, the ways she talks sometimes I have to hold back a response if not the whole thing will escalate. There are days I will raise certain issue up, the next things she mentions is " let just dissolve this marriage as it is not working" sometimes , I just refer her to her bible cos the utterances that come out of her mouth makes me doubt her understanding of Christianity.


I have never assaulted her, we have nt had any physically fight, what happens is most times when we have issues, I dont speak to her for days, then she come back apologizing. Sometimes when am wrong I also apologies.

Am not saying am perfect, I know there are areas I can do better, like in the buying off gift, I rarely buy her gift, not cause I cant but Cos she earns well and I believe she should buy whatever she needs with her money my wife earns approximately 800k monthy.


I expect my wife will support me but it like she is stressing me. when we go see my parent or our parent, it is all smiles, they dont knw hw stressful their daughter is, she even forms trying to serve me food and all.

Dont get me wrong she has some good side, but this thing is really getting into me. I dont drink, smoke or womanise, divorce is also not on the table for me.

TheWolfen:
Good to hear.
Either you a Christian or a Muslim. Yall both worship the same God but in different ways.

So JJC Skill you were never lost.
It is just good to know that this path you chosen came from your heart as that is how it should be

Mino1000:
Hi everyone, so I met this beautiful babe June this year and we started dating three months later. We genuinely loved each other and we had a relationship that people envied.

We trusted each other so much that I had access to her google account and all her personal info on my laptop, while she also had mine on her phone to cut the long story short, I have a problem of always getting worried whenever she is not home and I can't reach her for example if she leaves in a bolt and the journey is 30minutes but she is not reachable one hour later I start to worry and call people I feel are at home and even the bolt rider.

On this particular day, she had a meeting with her colleagues which just came into the country, she shared her live location but it was last updated an hour ago, she was not picking her calls and it was 11:45pm mind you she was in Ikeja and lives at lekki so she was still going to Lekki that night in this dangerous December month in Lagos. I called and called but she did not pick then I got so worried and went to her google contacts to get her boss number and called him. He told her I called and that is how trouble started.

She explained that nobody has his number and she is the middle man between him and clients so his number getting into my hands without her permission means his company info is not safe. She said I have destroyed all what she labored to build over the years and blocked me everywhere (phone, whatsapp, snapchat) and left me with only instagram access. I have been begging her since last night when this happened, but she only unblocked me to tell me not to call her again and blocked me back.

I have been trying to explain to her that relationship and marriage is full of challenges so she should not let this one destroy what we had but she has been ignoring me. If I call with a different number she hangs up immediately she hears my voice.

We were already talking about marriage and in fact, I had already started making arrangements for a proposal next year.

I swear I really love this lady with everything that I have and I know for a fact that she loved me too but right now I am confused I am wondering how she was so much in love with me yesterday morning but doesn’t even want to hear my voice today. She went as far as threatening to get me arrested if I come close to her house. I am really confused and need mature advice on what to do to save this relationship because right now I can’t focus on anything. Plus I trust her so I wasn’t calling because I thought she was doing something silly.

divinehand2003:
I remember that the minister of labour says we shouldn't worry about Nigerian doctors leaving to other countries at all. In fact it is a welcome development as these guys in diaspora will make returns to develop the Nigerian economy. Moreover he added that the country’s universities will continue to produce thousands of doctors on yearly basis that will meet our health care needs.

Liftkid:
I'm contemplating which country I can enter with the above budget and hustle legally. Then, bring my wife and daughter when am settled.

Your suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Johntemmy:
As divorce and seperations keep increasing in marriages this days...do you still believe real love exist either in relationship or marriage.mercie.

360degreess:
He has gone to complain about CAMA. It's better than ranting on social media like one pastor oyedepo who couldn't heal a single Codvid 19 patient.. Humble yourself and resolve an issue because you are dealing with the commander in chief of the armed forces, federal Republic of Nigeria (Buhari)...

PUSSYHOE:
Every guy feels this exciting, joy and enthusiasm before sex but immediately after, it is the opposite of all the feelings before it.

I ain't concluding, it may not be so for other guys. Even so Can someone explain why some of us few like that? Even with the girls I love wholeheartedly I still feel like that with them. is it a biological, psychological or emotional problem? and what is the remedy?

PUSSYHOE:
Every guy feels this exciting, joy and enthusiasm before sex but immediately after, it is the opposite of all the feelings before it.

I ain't concluding, it may not be so for other guys. Even so Can someone explain why some of us few like that? Even with the girls I love wholeheartedly I still feel like that with them. is it a biological, psychological or emotional problem? and what is the remedy?

Kalatium:
Yesterday i got into a heated debate with an acquaintance. He was of the opinion that listening to secular music and movies is bad for a christian. I on the other hand was countering him. Although i know that there are music or movies especially that one should avoid but i opine that it is not enough to ride all secular music and movies off.

I have learn alot especially from secular movies both as a form of entertainment and educationally and just because some movies are bad doesn’t mean i should stop watching movies.

As for the music aspect, although i listen to alot of gospel but i also listen to secular from time to time. I told the guy that what about Tasha Cobbs a gospel singer who featured Nicki Minaj in "I'm getting ready" or Jeremiah Gyang featuring M.I. in "Kaunar Na Allah". The songs are great and are still gospel.

The guy argued that they have backslided. They should never associate themselves with secular musicians.

We argued for like an hour until we get tired.

So i will like see your own point of view. Is listening to secular music/movie bad for a Christian?

derrick015:
Good morning everyone.

The subject refers,
I am a Christian. However, I have been struggling with a whole lot of non Christian like habit. One of such habit is watching of pornography and masturbating. This habit has lingered for more than 10 years now.
I am an introvert probably what has made it worse and perpetual.
I don't like this act. But I usually still practice it.

I believe God loves me but he hates this act. I really don't know how to STOP IT.

Pls I need help. This has really affected my relationship with the Holy spirit, myself and other people please help.

Also I have discovered that in the past 2 years i have been so disorganized, and forgetful.

At work I have been termed a LIER. I feel really embarrassed with myself when people give me something and I forget I have been given or I don't know where exactly I kept it. Then I will be asked of the same thing I won't be able to find it. Sometimes I deny it was ever given to me because I can't remember It was ever given to me.

This has brought me a lot of struggles at work(banking) and has made me ever so frustrated with myself.

I WASN'T LIKE THIS[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font] before. It so unfortunate this is happening to me.

My prayer life too has gone down the drain it's zero. I attend church service Sunday however due to the current lockdown I can say I don't have any relationship with God!

Please I need help

Evidence1000:
My name is David. I'm a 24 year old young man. I'm in my final year in one of the universities in the south west.
I'm addicted to gambling. Like, I can't just help it.

The craze for this thing started sometime last year. It has eaten deep into me that it now dictates my mood. The only time I can be genuinely happy is when I win money from bet9ja virtual. If I should loose, it makes me very sad to the extent that I see myself as a useless person.

I've gone to the extent of using my school fees to play virtual and that of my course mate that trusted me so much. Though, I was able to pay my course mate's fees without her knowing the truth, I'm unable to pay mine till now. I always have this mentality that I will win.

Whenever money enters my hand like this, no matter how little, it is to head straight to Bet9ja shop or online. The urge is usually very strong. Sometimes, it seems like there's a force pushing me to do it.
Before this lock down, I accumulated a debt of over a hundred thousand naira in a Bet9ja shop in my school environment which I'm unable to pay till now.
I know the owner of the shop would be waiting to pick me up with police when I resume. I don't know what to do.

I need help badly. I've prayed to God severally but it's as if nothing is happening. I've even promised God not to play Bet9ja again but I keep on seeing myself still playing it.

Right now as I'm typing this, I just came from a Bet9ja shop where I lost money. Money that is not even my own. Sometimes, I feel like taking my life so that everything will just end but if I remember the pain it would cause my mother, I'll just hold back.

Please for the people that were once addicted to gambling, how did you stop it? Is there any remedy for it because I'm in need of it badly?

I can't sleep at night anymore because I'm always thinking of debts that I've accumulated which has run into over 300,000. All thanks to Bet9ja virtual.

Someone advised me to get a job that would keep me busy so that I won't have time to play virtual but there are no jobs. I don't mind doing any, even if it is a menial job till school resumes.

Please I need your advice. Feel free to bash me because I deserve more than that even.

Please I'd appreciate if you can move this to front page.

vybzkartel:
I proposed love to her though knowing that she had a guy
Wanted to marry her but she said she will think about it. Later she said No so I moved on.

I decided to avoid her totally since I wanted the feeling I had for her to die since I couldn't get her...I wouldn't call nor message for about a month and then she would either call or message me. This cycle has gone on for about three years. Anytime I decide to forget her, she will call or message asking why I don't call and bla bla. When she does that and I decide to call or message her, she would give excuses and hang up or quit chats.

When I shun her, she will find her way back to call me or message me. Should I blacklist her and block her on messenger?

If she doesn't love me and can't date me, why can't she let me be? Please advise

UyaiIncomparabl:
Who can proffer a solution for me? I am totally tired! I usually cannot seem to have a goodnight's rest. If I am not in a pool of different species of large snakes, I am always on the run because one is always after me. Fortunately for me, I am never harmed by them.

Dream interpreters and what have you, I need help. I have prayed countlessly but prayers don't seem to be working because the dreams usually resurface. I have suffered from this dilemma since I was 10. I really need help, please.

Someone made a sly comment of either being an "ogbanje" or a snake goddess but I can't still seem to wrap my head around such erroneous suggestion.

Vianna:
Nigerians eat anything, even rodents. Well it's common in Africa generally tho, it's a survival technique. Reasons the whites call us all sorts .. we've literally failed to glide along with evolution.

ollins:
Let me cut the story short. Had a fling with this girl, along the line she got pregnant. You know all that talk of "if you could sleep with her, then you must marry her" "if you got her pregnant then you must marry her", Iooking back now, I wished I hadn't listened to all those voices.

I knew in my heart that I didn't love her, even she knew but the pressure from the family was too much, I had to marry her. On my marriage day I was practically crying within me.

Her character is just opposite of all I wanted in a woman, she's barely educated, loud and loquacious.

That's my cross I am carrying today, stuck in a loveless marriage.

The warmth and Romance is absent from our home, we have not had intimacy since beginning of the year till now, we just have no interest anymore in each other. We are just living together for the sake of our child.

My question now is how does one cope�? Is this how I am going to live the rest of my life?

ollins:
Let me cut the story short. Had a fling with this girl, along the line she got pregnant. You know all that talk of "if you could sleep with her, then you must marry her" "if you got her pregnant then you must marry her", Iooking back now, I wished I hadn't listened to all those voices.

I knew in my heart that I didn't love her, even she knew but the pressure from the family was too much, I had to marry her. On my marriage day I was practically crying within me.

Her character is just opposite of all I wanted in a woman, she's barely educated, loud and loquacious.

That's my cross I am carrying today, stuck in a loveless marriage.

The warmth and Romance is absent from our home, we have not had intimacy since beginning of the year till now, we just have no interest anymore in each other. We are just living together for the sake of our child.

My question now is how does one cope�? Is this how I am going to live the rest of my life?

poshestmina:
Useless criminal.

You see them on Instagram with motivational captions
" I started my poultry with 1 feather ",
" I started my multinational restaurant with 1 spoon of garri"
" I started my clothing line with a broken needle and thread"



you start putting pressure on yourself and regretting your existence .

I kukuma trust FBI