₦airaland Forum

NLElder:
First of all don't be quick to judge me. I am just here for matured help/advice cos I am fast loosing it. I am sure if it's abroad I will to told to go meet a therapist.

I am a young man in my early 40s and married for 9 years now with 2 kids. My nature of work is such that I am living on another town 5hours away from my family. This has been the case 6years out of the 9 years I am married. I have never really enjoyed my marriage as a young man cos I am always driving up and down every weekend to meet my family and when I got a promotion with more responsibility I reduced it to every 2 weeks, and as the stress of work and driving became more stressful, I now go every month. I have tried all my best even till date to see if I can get another work in the same state my wife and kids reside to no avail and my wife can't leave her work in the state join me as she is in a federal government establishment that has no branch in the state I live and work.

The scenario so far shows you that I am not enjoying a healthy sex life with my wife, but being someone brought up to respect the marriage institution, I have resigned to my fate and taken life as I have seen it. To make matters worse, with due respect to my wife, she suffered female genital mutilation and you know it affects women's sex life and their man is always worse off for it. In summary we lead a routine boring sex life in the few occasions we even get to have it. However, the 6 years I have lived and worked in another state, I have never cheated or thought of cheating on her despite all the cold lonely nights I have to spend alone. I am a kind of introvert and never hide it from people that I am married. Some will be like "u no get side chick"? I will say no.

The problem started 4 years earlier out of the 6years in the city I live and work. Since I am always lonely and bored in my crib, I mostly do video calls with my wife and kids daily or chat online with friends to keep my mind busy and avoid unnecessary tensions that will remind me of the lonely boring life I was living. This also keeps me away from sexual urges if I feel any as a fool-blooded young man I was. It was in one of these online chats that I got close to one young lady of about 30. We really got close through chatting and graduated to exchanging numbers. I always make it known that I was married to everyone I meet and she was no exception. We became best friends online and kept our limits as married man and a single lady would. We became curious and excited to meet each other live when we found out we were in same city.

We arranged a harmless date in a restaurant in town were we really got to know more about each other. I found out that she was a struggling young girl teaching in a private school with NCE and was unable to proceed to degree level due to lack of funds. Her salary wasn't even up to 18k and she was squatting with one lady in very uncomfortable circumstances. After that 1st live meeting, a very good friendship ensued but entirely platonic .

All these past 4 years before I met her, I cook for myself and go to market by myself. One Friday she called and I did not immediately pick cos I was in the kitchen. I called her back later and told her I was cooking and she jokingly asked if she could help. As at then she was yet to come to my place, so I told her if she really wanted to help then I would come and pick her up and that was how for the first time in 4 years, a lady visited me in that town. It felt awkward. It did not take long for me to find out how homely she was...washed plates, tidied everywhere, and finished up the cooking. I really felt at peace and started getting worried at the same time. We spent time chatting but kept our distance and nothing happened between us and I dropped her off later where she was squatting.

After that, our friendship went to another level and the visits became more frequent but still nothing happened between us. I got to know she was a well brought up lady that still had values and I also confirmed she had no man as at the time she met me. She said she had always wished to be married before now and never believed she would reach 30 and still be single.

I know my story is getting rather long, so let me try to wrap up. In summary, she started having issues with the family she was squatting with and didn't have enough money to rent a place of her own. I didn't have enough to rent for her either as I was already carrying a lot of financial responsibilities for her by then...monthly stipend of ₦10k to add to her salary, tolletries, making hairs and even helping out with her sick mum hospital bills.

So without a 2nd thought, both of us decided she move into my place. Inside me I knew it was somehow but I think by then we were already in love with each but maybe living in denial.

So she moved in and that was it. Yes, we started having sex, uncomfortably at 1st but later became 2 sex maniacs. It was as if she was sent to compensate me for my horrible marriage sex experience I have endured all these years. We couldn't have enough of each other. In fact when I want to travel and see my family, she breaks down crying. I knew it was more than a side chick matter. In fact this lady gave me a fulfilled sex life that I swear if it's in the olden days I wouldn't mind taking her as a 2nd wife. Months grew into years and our passion for each other grew to the point that we got jealous of the opposite sex calling us. She even starts frowning when my wife calls or tears will start running down her eyes. People, I became so confused. We both knew we have gone too far and yet were not ready to end it.

I even because part of her own family cos I go with her to see her sick mum and played a prominent role when she died. I don't know her older siblings knew if I was married or not , but I think she confided in her older sister who seemed to like me so much and only warned her to be "careful."

After 2 years, she started agitating about marriage so much that she said she needed to move out of my place. That as long as she is with me, she might not get married since it's obvious I wasn't going to marry her no matter how much both of us pretended about it. Deep inside me I knew she was right and I couldn't be selfish to keep her from meeting single suitors but I felt an inexplicable pain in my heart as if a part of me was about to be cut off. However, I forced myself to assist her to get a place and yet she on her own kept coming to my place every weekend until she moved in again leaving her place wasting for over 2 months., only going there once in a while to pick things..

All the 2 years we were together she was open and truthful to me about relationships she was now trying to build with single guys she hoped would marry her. I was already feeling bad inside me that she was about to leave my life, but she kept assuring me that she was with me and truly told me everything happeneing in the new relationship she was building.

She later moved out completely from my place after 2years on a new year day. She said needed to start the year on a good and clean note and had gotten serious with the guy that said he wants to marry her. I began to feel extreme jealous I couldn't explain. I knew it was not right but I couldn't stop myself. I tried my best and stopped calling or chatting with her but I still didn't find peace. One evening a month after when it was now clear that she has decided to get serious with the guy she said was coming for marriage, she visited me and and you can't believe it, we made hot passionate love. And when we were lying side by side, her new man called and she quickly ran into the toilet to answer him. I felt it was time I ended this whole thing, it wasn't looking right again.

So I confronted her why she was still leading me on when she is now in a marriage -bound relationship and she said because she still loves me and doesn't know how to let go of me. We cried together that it wiould be tough as we would soon separate from each other for life and she left. I cried like a baby as we made love again and she consoling me to try and teach my wife the things she does to me despite her FGM predicament.

The period she was with me, she was uncomfortable answering calls from her man and I got fed up and decided to investigate. So I went to the street where she showed me the guy lives(she was truly open to me and I give her that) and waited to see if she has started visiting him as she mostly denies and lo and behold, I saw her entering the guy's house. I felt a sharp pang of jealousy which I couldn't control. I picked up my phone after some minutes and started calling her, but her phone rang severally and she didn't pick. I was almost half-dead with jealousy. I cried iny heart and drove away. I sent her a text that because she was "enjoying" herself with her man she was now avoiding my calls. That maybe tbe guy was so good at it. She called about 2 hours later and really took offence that because she visited him and did not pick my call was simply because she doesn't want him to start asking questions and not necessarily that they were doing anything.

We quarrelled like never before and said hurtful things to each other and I asked her to return my key at my office the next day cos by then she no longer visited my house as she has really gotten serious with the guy. She returned the key and for over 2 months we stopped communicating and became strangers.

Instead of pushing her out my mind, I felt a daily torture looking through her Facebook pics, WhatsApp status, and other social media. I will go to her guy's street and painfully watch her enter his house from afar. I was fast losing my mind. I knew it was over for good and don't want her back but the obsession is yet to leave me till date. Everyday, I check her pictures and feels pangs of pain and jealousy as I see her lovely smiles. My people it's punishment and torture for me. I keep obsessing every second of my life about her. Who can help me? Something is definitely wrong. In one of her recent status, I saw her flaunt her hands with an engagement ring and I felt a sharp pang of sadness instead of happiness. People help me I am loosing it. Even though she has apologized to me and I too have apologized for the hurtful things we said in the course of our quarrel, my mind is still not at peace.

Even now presently she is engaged she still calls me and tries to engage me in friendly conversations but I will just be answering without interest. She even sent me a pic recently at a wedding she went to and I told her she should stop sending me her pics but should be sending to her man. She apologized and said she has taken note. Yet, I will feel bad inside me if I don't see her friendly chats which my attitude has made her reduce. Yet in all these, first thing in the morning I will quickly rush to check her pics, if she has made new posts, etc etc. I need help, I really do. Sorry my people for the long post but I really needed to empty myself to see the help I can get if any cos I want my normal sane life back. I have also prayed to God and asked for forgiveness for cheating on my wife ....I have no excuses for doing so but from the long story you can see it was never my intention.

politicoNG:
Aishatu Dahiru Ahmed (11/08/1971) also known as Binani is a Nigerian Senator of the All Progressives Congress "APC" representing Adamawa Central senatorial district in the 9th Assembly. She was formerly a member of the House of Representatives representing Yola North/Yola South/Girei federal constituency as a member of the Peoples Democratic Party in the 7th Assembly.

She went to the UK for her university education where she obtained a Higher National Diploma in Electrical Engineering at the University of Southampton. She is currently the Chairman of the Senate Committee on Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs).

aysuprano:
Hello everyone, i need your advise about a step I’m about to take

I’m a university graduate from one of the top Federal Universities in the country, my field of study is related to agriculture and since I finished school about 6 years ago all the jobs I’ve been getting isn’t really paying enough, they are mostly farm jobs paying 30-35k at most, I’ve considered setting up myself but tbh I have no back bone and it isn’t easy.

I’m 28 and I’ll be 29 this year then I decided I’ll really need to learn a skill if I want to be relevant in the society because sooner or later I’ll start considering settling down and all.

I tried learning tech stuffs but I have to be honest to myself I’m not a tech person, I try forcing it but no be my way, it’s better to be honest with myself, I’m not the kind of person that likes sitting down staring at screens for long even my phone.

I’m a natural handy person, that’s one of the things made me go to that field of study in school(Agriculture), I learnt a bit aspect of the tech which I enjoy to an extent that is drone piloting but I don’t think that is something I should sit with.

So I’m thinking of learning an handy skill which is why I need your advise, I’m passionate about painting, infact I’m good with it and it’s all self thought but I’l don’t want to go into it full time because I’m scared of height, so I’m considering learning POP and house interior which I’ve taken a step to start learning. I

nfact I have the money to pay and I’ve gotten someone to start teaching me already, why I opt for POP is I like the job and it’s an handy work plus Real estate is booming so skill related to real estate should be a hot cake at the moment.

I’m going in full time to learn and im ready for the adventure, because to be honest with ourselves if I keep saying I will land a good paying job due to my certificate and All,.

I might just keep waiting and might not move forward and time waits for nobody.

So Nairalanders I need your advise or your opinion do you think I should take this step? , do you think I’m making the right decision?

Thank you

ExAngel007:
.

handie:
Source: https://punchng.com/we-took-oath-over-oau-students-death-hotel-receptionist/

naptu2:
2023 Elections: Simon Ekpa mocks Enyinnaya Abaribe and Rochas Okorocha. Insists that there will be no elections in Biafra.

Simon Ekpa @simon_ekpa



https://twitter.com/simon_ekpa/status/1529394344796508163


Simon Ekpa @simon_ekpa



https://twitter.com/simon_ekpa/status/1529394931986583553



Simon Ekpa @simon_ekpa



https://twitter.com/simon_ekpa/status/1529348094638292992

ogododo:
https://www.vanguardngr.com/2022/05/nigerians-speak-on-peter-obis-exit-from-pdp/

SATANICALLY:
They also threatened to report Reno Omokri's YouTube channel for antagonizing Peter Obi.

etokhana:
https://www.tvcnews.tv/2022/05/fg-to-spend-n999m-per-day-to-feed-10-million-pupils/

Penguin2:
Jandor vs Sanwolu

PDP no serious for Lagos.

But this one wey Jimi Agbaje no contest this year…

Wetin happen?

sojiboy:
....UNFOLDS BIG IDEA FOR NIGERIA



https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=313220844335814&id=100069437032705

JasonEkanem:
https://dailypost.ng/2022/05/24/2023-we-will-bomb-terrorrists-daily-until-they-run-away-amaechi/

Maxymilliano:
https://punchng.com/breaking-gunmen-invade-kukahs-church-kidnap-priests-others/?utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook#Echobox=1653457855

lalalista:
Good morning all, please I need intelligence support in this situation I found myself.

Our sachet water factory is in the same compound that we live, we needed workers and contacted an agent to provide us with a motor boy and a driver. The boys came and worked with us for 5 days and after 5days they said they got another appointment somewhere better and they want to leave. We allowed them to go but 3 days later we discovered that the 25000 naira I kept in a bag was missing. The night before they left , I saw some suspicious moves by the motor boy but my mind didn't go there. Now we have called the agent to produce the boy but he's telling stories that he doesn't know anything about him and the information he filled was wrong. Can I get the agent arrested ? What should I do? Your advice is needed

FactBoyz:
A Nigerian taxi driver, Antony Erhunmwunse picks up His Excellency while he was waiting for Taxi in London today. He drove him free of charge to No. 10 Downing Street; UK.

DO YOU HAVE AN IDEA OF PEOPLE I PICK UP ON MY WAY TO WORK DAILY ?




https://mobile.twitter.com/ObiSupport/status/1528698387989766145

lalasticlala:
https://punchng.com/i-wont-stop-women-based-content-says-mr-macaroni/

SATANICALLY666:
https://twitter.com/DavidHundeyin/status/1526900284433354753?s=19[/quote]FREE THESE GUYS AND LET THEM GO. SIMPLE,AM A YORUBA MAN BUT I HATE WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THAT REGION.
CHILDREN CANNOT WRITE EXAM PEACEFULLY,INNOCENT CITIZEN MEAN OF INCOME PARALYSED.ABEG FREE THEM

press9jatv:
NOTIFICATION OF WITHDRAWAL FROM SENATORIAL CONTEST

I wish to notify the national leadership of our esteemed party of my voluntary withdrawal from participating in the forthcoming People's Democratic Party senatorial contest in Ekiti State.

Your Excellency will recall that I contested for the last governorship primary election in which I came third. As a patriotic party man who is determined to protect the interest and ethos of the party, I congratulated the winner, Otunba Bisi Kolawole who is currently the candidate of the party.

It is expedient to note, however, that the senatorial ambition was the making of former Governor Ayodele Fayose. I received emissaries from him to contest. After much pressure from concerned stakeholders, I decided to pick up the challenge to represent the party in my senatorial district.

To my great surprise, Mr. Ayodele Fayose who openly endorsed my candidacy for senate in my town, discretely aided another person from the same constituency to pick the same senatorial form.

The above left me with no choice but to consider his endorsement as a facade and decoy.

Having consulted widely on the foregoing with my teeming supporters across the sixteen (16) Local Governments, I have decided not to dwell where there is no sincerity of purpose but an arrogant display of deception and hence, pull out from the contest.

The integrity I have built over the years is beyond any ambition. I am available for further arrangements that will unite the party in the build-up to the general election, slated to hold on 18th June 2022.

Your Excellency is hereby assured of my utmost commitment to the party at the state and beyond.

Thanks.

Bishops10:
The Students Union Government(SUG) President of Delta State Polytechnic Ogwashi Uku,Comr Choice Christopher has taken to Facebook to eulogise her Daughter on her birthday. The SUG President who obviously gave birth to the Child when she was much younger described how She was Mocked and humiliated by her peers during pregnancy.

Here's what she Said

"When I was pregnant of you, I was mocked, suspended by church law, humiliated by my peer group.

Today, you seem to be like my younger sister.

I love � u plenty my first fruit."

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid0pRWnMLEMTQYAyCtAsJAUXfteayR4T6jdCQRar6U3TvrfHrVFfA7kajM6gw1bRfNVl&id=100001490847391

RoyalRoy
MOUAU GIST

envoymedia:
Nnamdi Kanu and his legal team comprising Ifeanyi Ejiofor and Mike Ozekhome were seen jubilating as they posed together for photograph following the outcome of Wednesday's court sitting which was in favour of the detained IPOB leader, IGBERETV reports

Justice Binta Nyako of the Federal High Court, Abuja stroke out Federal government’s six amended charges against Nnamdi Kanu and fixed May 26, 2022 for ruling on Nnamdi Kanu's bail application.

Sharing the photo, Ifeanyi Ejiofor wrote on his Facebook page;



https://m.facebook.com/story.php?


story_fbid=pfbid0k4N91YkmVifsPc1gpi5SmPP7uKYfz3a3mhHgeFTesjzymSJKxqPjzCAQQSX6puuKl&id=100053161600993

naptu2:
https://globalupfront.com/2021/09/17/crisis-in-ipob-nelly-ofoegbu-sacked-as-asset-recovery-officer-and-expelled-forthwith-from-group/

Loveurneighbour:
https://punchng.com/hausa-community-seeks-reversal-of-okada-ban-promises-sanwo-olu-massive-votes/

NaughtyBrainiac:
Hello All,

A friend studied Biochemistry in one of Nigeria's Federal Universities, she has completed NYSC but she does not have a job yet.

Her brother who currently resides in the UK wants her to enrol in a school of Nursing in Nigeria and she is not happy with what her brother wants.

I asked her if her brother's reason is because Nursing is profitable in the UK and she said YES, that's his reason. The goal is that she'd eventually relocate to the the UK.

My concerns are:

1. Why study a course like Biochemistry and go back to a school of Nursing? Aren't there better alternatives?
2. Most of the people I know that attended school of Nursing always go back to the Univeristy for BSc. Nursing.
3. School of Nursing in Nigeria will take her about 3 years and I am sure she will still need to write some exams before she will be able to work as a Registered Nurse in the UK.

Are there possibilities of moving to the UK to study that version of Nigerian School of Nursing? If yes, how expensive is it?

On the other hand, if she's able to go to the UK for her masters, masters in what course can she apply for (please bear in my that she is a Biochemistry graduate) that would give her chances of securing a good job in the UK ( At least, a kind of job that would still make her earn something close to what Nurses earn)?

Please advise. Thank you

fergie001:
Previous Thread:
https://www.nairaland.com/7063361/denmark-italy-expel-45-russian#111666181



SOURCE




SOURCE




SOURCE


France, Italy react to Russia's expulsion of diplomats



French Foreign Affairs Ministry




[url=https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.usnews.com/news/world/articles/2022-05-18/russias-expulsion-of-italian-diplomats-hostile-act-pm-draghi%3fcontext=amp] SOURCE [/url]

Golferty:
I was invited for an interview in this company. Is there any other person shortlisted for the interview?
Is the place fake?
Who knows anything about this company?
Your advice is really needed

farem:
Missing Abuja Corper: I Killed Stephanie to Have Her Husband all to Myself - Jennifer

You remember the story of the missing Abuja Youth Corper who was declared missing and her body later found after mutilation and her little son that was with her was also found around Maitama?

Anyway the latest statement from the FCT police command has it that one of the arrested suspected ( a lady ) has confessed being behind the murder

She arranged the killing because she wants to keep Stephanie's husband to herself

The Sad Story Of Stephanie Se-Ember Terungwa...A Crime Of Passion

I BLAME THE HUSBAND FOR EVERYTHING

Stephanie was beautiful and at 26 her life was just starting. She was serving in Abuja where she lived with the love of her life Edward Achadu with their one year five months old son.

On April 14th 2022 she stepped out with her son to go for her CDS. She planned stopping by at Jennifer's place on her way to her CDS. Jennifer had earlier called her to come get a phone. Jennifer was someone she knew through her husband Edward. Edward had introduced her as his friend. What Stephanie didn't know however was that Edward and Jennifer used to date. Now Edward had moved on to Stephanie and Jennifer was having none of it.

Unknown to Stephanie, Jennifer had hatched a plan with her accomplices to abduct and kill her so as to have Edward all to herself. So on that particular day in April when Stephanie dropped by, she was grabbed and tied. Jennifer then bathed her with acid which led to her death. Having successfully completed their hideous task, they dumped her body on a deserted road at about 3am. Her son was however abandoned at a Catholic Church.

When Stephanie didn't show up for her CDS, a missing persons report was filled by her colleagues. They also launched a campaign on social media. Her dilapidated corpse was however found some weeks later by the Police. Because her body was found still in her NYSC khaki uniform they figured this must be the missing Corper they've been looking for. Her husband was brought in to identify the body. Which he positively did.

Jennifer and her accomplices are now in Police net. It is not however known if Stephanie's husband was in the know of the plan to kill his wife.

One question to ask though is "was Edward still in a romantic relationship with Jennifer after moving on with Stephanie? "....because what would make Jennifer think that by killing Stephanie, she could have Edward all to herself if not that they were still seeing each other? Another question to ask would be what made Edward leave Jennifer in the first place? Was it because Stephanie got pregnant for him in a case of an away match gone wrong? Questions and more questions....

©Dr Emmanuel Utomi

https://www.facebook.com/100004953812977/posts/2065370953638012/



https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid02mZ5NcmqTWTZxyBThcceKtUrFCAcAVp3XvQqKQBZ326L7hobDhL88KuzRfwp3BdkNl&id=100004953812977

Amarabae:
Why is he not looking relaxed and happy?

God1000:
I remember when George Floyd was killed in America by white police officers, Nigerians protested in Abuja and Lagos.

I'm not saying that was bad though, he was a black man like me.

But here is my grouse, Africans and nigerians in particular are always quick to show support when something happens elsewhere, but they will not do anything when it comes to fellow Nigerians.

By now, there should be massive protest across the country demanding for justice, but none of that is happening

No one is holding any vigil for her, why are we doing this to ourselves?