₦airaland Forum

This lady is not serious oh! why are you asking for something free and begging for help all about?
you have turn yourself to a beggar. Have you ever on your own, wake up one day and say ´let me even give this my honeypot free to the next available lucky man`? You now come here and start talking balderdash.

In Europe babes don´t go around asking for free lunch, free recharge card, free this, free that. Even sometime, when you are out on a date, individual pays for the food, and when you throw a party friends bring different things, and pull resources together. Is only in naija that you babes are turning men to ATM machine everytime you need money to satisfy your need. You now stand there and ask us stupid question, what is this world turning to? the question should be what are we naija babes turning the world to.

The fault is not in your star, the fault is in yourself. I sign out.

I know many on Nairaland reading this post now, what are you gonna do about it?.

Should the iniquities of the father be visited on his children from generation to generation?.

Can somebody send a link to where the match can be watched online now? sil vous plait.

You overcome temption through, prayers, fasting and self discipline




If you have not done the act, then send her packing immediately.

, and if you have done the act, and you are here just to tell us cock and bull story, 'Yoruba, Yoruba, knowing what you have done, remember God sees your mind.

'cos i know you know what is right. What is right is clear, and what is wrong is also clear, there is no confusion here. Bros!

Heart of man is desperately wicked.

Au revoir

Good talk, but why did the super eagle failed to score at least ago?

Who will do the scoring for them if they can't find the net.

Crying over spilt milk!

nhuu!  Sigh of relief. Not bad after all. The cup of a woeful, scandalous loss has passed over.

Just that our attack has no bite and South Korea already has advantage pschycologically.

Anyway, kinnnaa kooo! let the game continue!

Those selling the damn vuvuselas must be smilling to the bank by now or were they given out free. Can you see those crowds all with the long thing and blowing away, voooooo vooooo vaaaa vuuuu, men!

Rubbish. Watch Emmanuel TV and see for yourself what Prophet T.B. Joshua said. He said that South Africa would go a goal ahead, but that if they didn't defend properly, then Mexico would equalize - exactly what happened. We should be careful not to misinterpret the words of a prophet to suit what we would like.

Can you post the link to this video.

If it is true (which i doubt), Methink this TB Joshua should be participating in all Predict and win games before every match, instead of wasting his talent.

The Mike Tyson of Akure is deposed at last, serves him right.

This group calls itself 'The Hutaree' , translates as Christian warriors. They are said to be deadly and widely feared in America. Please read on


http://news.yahoo.com/s/ynews/ynews_ts1361

Who are the Christian militia 'Hutaree' and why was the FBI targeting them?

This weekend, the FBI  conducted a series of raids in Michigan, Ohio, and Indiana to detain members of a Christian militia group on criminal charges. So what does this group believe, and how do its members fit in with the larger radical right?

The group in question calls itself the "Hutaree"; its website says the term translates as "Christian warrior." And in keeping with that name, the material it has posted online reflects an outlook of violent religious confrontation. The Hutaree believe that acts of violence can bring about the final judgment prophesied in the Christian Bible — and therefore have been arming themselves to go to war with the Antichrist, "evil Jews," and Muslims. They have documented their training exercises in a series of YouTube videos. And they spell out the theological rationale for their actions on the "About Us" page on their website:

Jesus wanted us to be ready to defend ourselves using the sword and stay alive using equipment. The only thing on earth to save the testimony and those who follow it, are the members of the testimony, til the return of Christ in the clouds. We, the Hutaree, are prepared to defend all those who belong to Christ and save those who aren't. We will still spread the word, and fight to keep it, up to the time of the great coming ,  The Hutaree will one day see its enemy and meet him on the battlefield if so God wills it. We will reach out to those who are yet blind in the last days of the kingdoms of men and bring them to life in Christ.

According to the indictment unsealed this morning in court, the nine members of the group — eight men and one woman — planned to "levy war" against the U.S. government. To incite such a war, the group planned to murder law enforcement officials and then follow up their initial attacks with a separate attack on the fallen officers' funeral(s), where a large number of law enforcement personnel would no doubt be gathered.

With other news of vandalism and harassment from right-wing activists angry about the passage of health care reform, some commentators are already depicting the arrests as a further sign of how conservative activists are promoting violence in their ranks. But even within the militant world of the Michigan militia movement, the Hutarees are viewed as extreme religious fanatics. Michael Lackomar, a leader of the Southeast Michigan Volunteer Militia, told the Associated Press that he'd fielded a frantic call from a Hutaree member Saturday night reporting the onset of the federal raids. After hearing pleas for help, Lackomar said that his group declined. "They said that they were under attack by the ATF and wanted a place to hide," Lackomar recalls. "My team leaders said, 'No thanks.' "

A posting on a Hutaree message board by someone named Anna seems to back up Lackomar's claim that Hutaree members were seeking help from other militia groups in the area.

"We need some help please," she wrote. "I am enroute south with my children using the wifi's as I can. They were catching others as they came to their rallying points, they broke into homes and took children and used the tasers on wives, my son who is 12 and I got out by crawling through the creeks behind our house. My husband and others are taken, please call the press and tell them, if any in the Michigan Militia is still free please rally with them. Please help."

Still, while the more secular and libertarian leaders of the militia movement may distance themselves from the Hutaree, the two militant strains of right-wing activism share some tactical affinities, says Kenneth S. Stern, the American Jewish Committee's director on anti-Semitism and extremism. "What you're starting to see in the number of militia groups sprouting up in the last year is a general antigovernment ideology," Stern says. "The targeting of cops is not inconsistent with that. The literature that glorified that white supremacist movement that helped the militia movement take off in the 1990s advocated those tactics — especially in books like 'The Turner Diaries.' And some of these groups — like the Order and others — started setting traps for law enforcement and going after first responders."

Stern cautions that it's too soon to draw broader lessons from the alleged Hutaree plot. But he does add that "whenever you have a combination of the ideology that says, 'the government is evil and we'd better do something about it,' and a religion that says, 'Hey, God wants you to do something about it,' that can be problematic."

Dear All,

This is from Carol Burnett show.

Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gqQYuipF7U

I have a poser for everyone on Nairaland.
Who is coming home first, President Yaradua or the Super Eagles?

every farmer knows that seed sowing time is never a time for merriment,because seed sowing is PAINFUL!'cast your bread upon many water for in due season,you shall receive them back,'so says the scriptures.

well,sorry man,you've ridiculed away your blessings.you did not sow in faith.fake pastors exist,yes.but the authenticity of God's word about seed sowing remains valid!

Olosi, Olodo, Olong or whatever you called yourself, you are nothing but another fake pastor in the making.
Remember "religion is the opium of the masses" What kind of sowing will allow a man go home with empty pocket and go to sleep with empty stomach, he had simply been robbed, in actual fact, it is better for him to be mugged by those area boys than area pastors. Can't stop laughing.

CIA officials  argued that the  high population of  jobless youths and growing  Koranic schools pose a threat not just to Nigeria but other nations.
“These are where vulnerable youths are indoctrinated and  by  fundamentalist groups” the said.

OMG, i hope USA is not looking for a plausible reason to launch aerial missile in Naija. We have no weapon of mass destruction in my country ooh, i beg na husslers plenty for here. That boy is just a red herring, i guess he has Yemen blood running in his veins. Spear us!

Kevin Rwang Pam, a Nigerian became the winner of the biggest ever Big Brother Africa termed the revolution. Kevin generaly refer to as the Swagga master walked away with a whooping sum of 200,000 dollars out of about 25 housemates from different countries in Africa. Nigeria was once again the envy of all other nations that contested for the big price money. Methink he has done Ngerians both at home and in diaspora proud what do you think Nairalander?

As-salam alaikum,please does any brother or sister here has a link to download a full quran (mobile version)?
May Allah see us true,

I have a more specific link go to the download section on http://www.guidedways.com/index.php

You can download a complete quran for most mobile devices, i downloaded for my iphone.

You will also find other useful resources on the site.  May Allah reward the  one who started this thread. Amin

Ma salam.

Usain Bolt has done it again. The venue was at the 12th IAAF World Championships in Athletics holding at the Olympic Stadium in Berlin. He dusted the like of Tyson Gay, and fellow countryman Asafa Powell to clinch the 100m gold medal at a new world record of 9.58s. Imagine what this means, just close your eyes before you open it, he has finished covering 100m (from one goalpost to another goalpost on a football field). This is incredible! guys what do you think!

Hi!

Where are you in Flanders? I was in Leuven, back to Nigeria though. Are you really white or whose picture was that?

I have so many Belgian friends here married to Nigerians, two of them have recently put to bed here in Nigeria.

If you tell me what you want i may be able to help you.

I am sorry, i also disagree. Doctors in Nigeria are well qualified, and really knows their onions. see them outside Nigeria you find out that they are only limited by facilities. Lack of skills and expertise are different from lack of facilities. I think the writer must make distinction between the two.

The farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of

chicken's his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box

fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions,

but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the

wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had

found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst.

"Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed sadly, "but I managed

to find all twelve of them."

"Well, you did real good, son," the farmer beamed. "You left with seven."

A couple decided to have a no holds barred discussion,on the eve of their
25years wedding anniversary.At a point the husband decided it's time to make
a confession,the conversation continues as follow:

Husband:Darling, there is something i must tell you having gone this far
in our marriage, but first,I want you to promise me you wil not be annoyed.

The wife made a promise and ask the husband to continue.

Husband: There was this affair i had outside this marriage that resulted
in a baby boy, i think, the boy is now 20years old.

The wife was stunned,overgasted and flabberwehlmed,or is it the other
way round? pardon me if i am wrong? and put the appropriate.

Anyway, she decided not to show it.They were both quite for
sometimes, when the wife decided to break the silence.

Wife: My dear husband,in the same spirit,i also have a confession,but i
want you to promise there won't be trouble, whatever i say.
The husband made pomised and ask her to continue.

Wife: My dear husband, you see that our last daughter out of all the six
children, (5boys and a girl) she has a different father from the rest.
The man was stunned,and deeply annoyed but pretends not to show it.
They were both quite for sometime, when the man decided to probe
further.


Husband:Hey!look here, can i ask you this question? Please who is her
father?

Wife:  The wife gazed into an empty space for a moment and suddenly turned to
face him, point her finger at him as she said; YOU.
You are her father!

Like others before me as rightly pointed out to you. Choice is not your problem, you actually needs help. I can only help you by educating you, don't feign ignorance and stop hiding behind one finger. Live right and avoid risky behaviours.


This will make an interesting reading for you.

Common causes of painful sexual intesourse or Dyspaerunia

1. Vaginal dryness or inadequate lubrication (for example, from insufficient pre-intimacy)
2. Vaginal infection
3. Reaction to the latex of a diaphragm or condom(if she or you use any?)
4. Urinary tract infections
5. Endometriosis
6. Vaginismus -- involuntary contraction of the vaginal muscles; this may be a result of ongoing painful intercourse as      well as a cause
7. Sexual abuse or rape
8. Genital irritation from soaps, detergents, douches, or feminine hygiene products

   etc, etc.

Home remedies:

1. Be gentle and patient.
2. For vaginal dryness/inadequate lubrication: Try water-based lubricants. KY-jelly
3. Other causes of painful intercourse may require prescription medications or, rarely, surgery.
4. Sex therapy may be helpful, especially if no underlying medical cause is identified. Guilt, inner conflict, or unresolved feelings about past abuse may be involved which need to be worked through in therapy. It may be best for you to see the therapist with your partner.
5. If home remedies are not working. See your Doctor.


Prevention   

Good hygiene and routine medical care will help to some degree.
Adequate pre-intimacy and stimulation will help to ensure proper lubrication of the vagina.
The use of a water-soluble lubricant like K-Y Jelly may also help. Vaseline should not be used as a sexual lubricant because it is not compatible with latex condoms (it causes them to break), it is not water soluble, and it may encourage vaginal infections.
Practicing safe sex can help prevent sexually transmitted diseases.

Good luck with your choice, if you are truly serious and not a clown people think you are!

Interesting for those who have something to do with the court, and why lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

  In a trial, a southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand - a grandmotherly, elderly woman.

He approached her and asked "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded "why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly,
you've been a big disappointment to me."

She continued "You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.
You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied "why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has
a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the
entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died!

At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence, called both counsellors to the bench, and in a very quiet voice,
said "If either of you *******s asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt."

Guys and Gals, why drag this topic, you never can say never in any situation. Just as there are christians in Saudi Arabia, Afganisthan, Iraq, Iran, etc, etc, there should be no reason why there can't be Igbo muslims in Nigeria, unless we are just beign myopic or shortsighted, infact we need not to look far; check out the profile of this illustrious, learned, and notable member of the house of representative from his website, and look out for religion.http://www.nednwoko.com/resume.html QED

Glenn took his dog to the veterinary clinic, and laid its limp body on

the table. The doctor pulled out his stethoscope, listened to the dog's

chest for a moment, then shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, but your

dog has passed away."

"What?" Glenn screamed. "You haven't even done any tests! I want

another opinion." 

The vet left the room and returned in a few moments with

a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever sniffed the dog on the table

carefully from head to toe. Finally, the Retriever shook it's head and

barked once (meaning "dead and gone".

The vet took the Labrador away and returned a few minutes later with a

cat, which also sniffed carefully over the dog on the table before

shaking its head and saying, "Meow" (meaning "he's gone".

After the cat jumped off the table, the vet handed Glenn

a bill for $600. The man shook the bill at the vet. "$600!!!!

Just to tell me my dog is dead?!!! That's outrageous!"

The vet explained. "If you had taken my word for it, the charge would

have been $50, but with the Lab work and the cat scan, " 

Hey! Guy that was real nice. I am highly interested in buying this system, and this is for real. Can you get in touch by calling this mobile no 08035921652.

Cheers!

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer,
"This is the dumbest kid in the world.Watch while i prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then
calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"The boy takes the
quarters and leaves.
"What did i tell you?,"said the barber, "that kid never learns!"Later, when the customer
leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey son! May i ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked the cone and replied, "Because the day i take the dollar, the game's over!"

check out these sites and let me know what you think,

http://www.funnyfly.com/index.shtml


http://www.arcamax.com/jokes/headlines

cheers!

Man lived alone in the countryside with only a pet dog for company.
One day, the dog died, and the Man went to the parish pastor and said,
"Pastor, my dog is dead. Could there be a mass for the poor creature?"
The Pastor replied, "I'm afraid not. We cannot have services for an
animal in the church. But there is a new church down the road, and
there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for
the animal; you can go and find out”. Then the Man answered innocently,
"I'll go right away Pastor. But do you think $50,000 is enough to
donate for the burial service?" The Pastor exclaimed, "Sweet Mary,
Mother of Jesus! Why didn't you tell me the dog was a Christian……….
we definitely have services for all Christians!?"