₦airaland Forum

I be Nigerian, last time I checked

Nne take am easy o, when you bring your issues to the the public (naiaraland for that matter), what do you expect.
People are free to air their views and in between, their are those who have shown concern and interest.

price details sent

Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son: 'I will choose my own bride!'
Father: 'But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter.'
Son: 'Well, in that case, ok'


Next Day Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: 'I have a husband for your daughter.'
Bill Gates: 'But my daughter is too young to marry!'
Father: 'But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.'
Bill Gates: 'Ah, in that case, ok'

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: 'I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.'
President: 'But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!'
Father: 'But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law.'
President: 'Ah, in that case, ok'

This is how business is done!!

otfl

Reason why never visit a 5* Hotel

Question : "What would you like to have , Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"

Answer: "tea please"

Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"

Answer : "Ceylon tea "

Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?"

Answer: "white"

Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?"

Answer: "With milk "

Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"

Answer: "With cow milk please.

Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"

Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "

Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"

Answer: "With sugar"

Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"

Answer: "Cane sugar "

Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"

Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."

Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "

Answer: "Mineral water"

Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"

Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst

When you are faking a pose for a camera photo opportunity,

at least you can get the phone turned in the right direction!

And he wants to be President




I still hope he becomes president o.

I force your eyes to read am?

The 11th Husband,

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin".

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times.?"

"Well, husband#1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

"Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was suppose to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.

"Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

"Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

"Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.

"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

"Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.

"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.

"Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was, God I miss him.

" But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".

"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?


"Your're with the
"GOVERNMENT",


This time I KNOW I'M gonna get screwed."

Hi Viperman

Just sent you mail

Trust Nairalanders to come to the rescue, hope the land gets an update

I v gotten much higher offers.
This is petrol and not diesel.

, and how have you managed these 5 months. Does your boss really expect you to come to work.
Me thinks they sent out sack letters 6 months ago but it just never got delivered.

You want an Obudu girl then go to Obudu

Still wondering Virgins at 34 and 39. Was it some sort of pact between the two.
It seems they dont really want to get married but you are trying to marry them off-
Surely there must be proper suitors in the parish or congregation.

abi ke

I ll ask my brother to get me more pics as the above was take jut before it left Germany.
The bus has a one metre area at the top that has been sealed as it was formally high roof.

The asking price is only 460,000k as the engine is in A1 condition.

10 x Pentium III with 450 Mhz, 128 MB RAM, 8,4 GB Hard drive Graphic, CD-ROM, Floppy, 2 X USB, VGA,

and 13 x 17 inch crt minitors.

Petrol
Power Steering
Sun roof
Fibre bumbers
Wheel covers
Double headlamps

All in one Printers for sale-

Psc 1000 series

Photocopiers for Sale - a3 and a4

Chivalry ke!!! What a man can do, a woman can do much better.

Perhaps if the goods were made in Nigeria, they wouldn't be so expensive

My first wife and one true love.

What became of them after the public humiliation? Just wondered.

Glad its not Nigeria. But can this form of humiliation be tolerated in our world today?

very unnecessary o. The deceased propably died of neglect by same people at the funeral party. abi

These are our rules!
Please note,
these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers
(to almost every question).

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one !

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it,
just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials,

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions
(and it turned out all right, and neither do we).

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying,
but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere,
absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about
(unless you are prepared to discuss such topics
as baseball or golf).

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape?

Round IS a shape!

Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

you had better consult with your lawyers o.

@emmatall abi na short

I suggest you get your website fixed before you post it, abi you no check am.

Please let the churches preach abstinence and if you need an avenue for free condom,
go to your local health center.