₦airaland Forum

Babangida was accompanied by members of his campaign team headed by the Director General Chief Raymond Aleogho Dokpesi, Alhaji Sada Ilu, Prof. A.B.C Nwosu, Prince Kassim Afegbua, Mrs Remi Adiukwu-Bakare, [b]Alhaji Farouk Bibi-Farouk [/b]and Alhaji Shehu Musa Gabam.

Please who are those men in bold? I just want to be certain that they are not the ones I am thinking about. I expect those men I am thinking about to try and launder their stinky names and the evils their families have done to Nigeria. They are still romancing with IBB? Na wa o

i no say na your picture be that

@ donsponky
ehn, ehn, na your own pix suppose they there?

I just wonder what kind of human resources manager in his right sense would let go of someone like me. I applied to shoprite, and the company turned down my application. I'm I the looser here. I am so sorry for the company.

Now, check out the application I wrote to the company, my profile as well as my pix. Then, tell me why you would not consider shoprite as the greatest looser here.

[center]JOB APPLICATION[/center]

I am apply to my job of security guard to you boss in you company of Shoprite. I complete to Grade 8 examination certificate in 1997.
I am 27 ears to be Born of age and no mallied and no childish. My father is dead long time ago and my mother mary in Zaire  country there 10 years now, no see she so nobody known to help me. My certificate is just sitting home for itself, but passes in Mathematics, Geography, Science and all subjects but fail in English because of Nyanja teacher, Mr Phiri, teaching me is jelos of myself. Me wear expenses cloth than Ngoni teacher.

I here people you want security guards to you company and I tell you I Am one of that job experience for 2 years. I shot 7 thief dead. I want to Join the company of you and chase criminal out with me AK47.

Please consider my aplication careful and call me any time because me Have celphone. I am red for interview with you. I am very hornest and can speak English free!

Please also greet your wife. And rememba that English is not our mother land!!

Yours in faith   
Pasopa Mampara

My picture frame I look beautiful

Who gives a shiiiit what you hate? Here, I hate Yoruba people, don't ask me why, I just hate them. You see it is easy to post trash without using logic just like you did.

@Elrazor or razor blade or what do you call yourself

Must you go this far to prove how empty your skull is? You need not advertise yourself. From  the comments of many nairalanders about you; can't you see that we are already aware of your mental problems? Must you stress it?

We are all here to post our various opinions. Must our opinions be the same? Must I like what you like? Must you hate what I hate? Why don't you face the real issue rather than attacking those whose opinion don't tally with yours? You kept stressing logic, logic, and logic. What is logic? Are you just hearing that word for the first time? Or you want us to know you are writing GMAT or GRE? If you have done it already; you want us to know you passed?

The major reason why I have never believed in the accuracy of the total world population is that a lifeless thing like you might have mistakenly been counted. Some see you as the anti-Christ. I don't see you that way .I only see you as a refuse. My advice for you is this. If you need a life, go back to where you come from, and try coming back to this world again, through the arsss of a doe. At least, you will still be considered a wild animal in the animal kingdom. And when you come back, please beware of human beings, because you could be used for barbecue. Mumu!

Bobby Ikekhuame Egbele, a fashion designer and model, grew up in Nigeria and runs an online clothes shop. Currently in the UK on a holiday visa, he and his ‘husband-to-be’ are waiting for the green light from the Borders Agency, which has requested details of their relationship and residency.

This is expected to be a formality but the ‘marriage’ cannot go ahead until permission is granted. Mr Egbele, who will then become a British citizen, said yesterday: ‘I’m excited about the wedding and that people are interested in it.

I just wonder why most people are taking this issue too serious. I am not supporting gay marriages. In fact, I hate gays! But I just choose not to dwell so much on this issue, because I know the Nigerian involved is much more interested in something than the marriage itself. The marriage would collapse eventually as soon as the Nigerian becomes a UK citizen. I do not believe is has been gay before. But he might have to start practicing it since he is getting married to a fellow man like him.

There is virtually nothing many Nigerians would not do, just to get the citizenship of some countries. I have read of a Nigerian who claimed to be gay in UK, and was granted asylum. He claimed he can't go back home because he is not wanted in his country because of his sexual orientation. Yeah, he got the asylum. I am very sure many Nigerian men would also volunteer to marry real chickens in US/UK for citizenship. I don't mean girls. I mean real HEN. As long as it wold guarantee their citizenship.

Let's watch out! The marriage would crash once the guys gets what he wants. I assume he grew up in Nigeria, and he should know that what he is trying to do is forbidden according to his Nigerian culture. I want to assume he is just taking the risk. If he must get married to a man like him; why a British citizen? I see the white man is his "MAGA" anyways. Unfortunately, the white man thinks they are are both in love. Mumu man!

I can see some people are using Fela as an excuse here.

No doubt, Fela was great and talented. However, this is what I am saying. Fela would have made a lot of sales in his albums even if he didn't produce the videos. The reason is that he has the message and his songs appeal to lots of Nigerians who are poor, oppressed and denied of their basic needs. And of course, these oppressed or poor people take the largest population in Nigeria. So, why are you surprised his fan based is so high? If I may ask; How many people even have the original videos of Fela? It's either you have been to his live performance before or you get the pirated copies on the streets. You do not need to watch Fela's videos to fall in love with is music (that's if you want to fall in love anyways). All you just need is to understand pidgin English, and listen to what he is saying, and that's all! His messages have the greatest impact on his fans and not the videos! which is the other way round with the bunch of lazy musicians and producers we now have all over.

I am not saying Fela didn't parade half unclothed girls on the stage. What we should compare here are the intentions of Fela and those of the lazy musicians we now have. I assume that Fela's intention was totally different and that is why Fela should never be compared to any of the copy-cats we have all over. I assume that Fela's intention was to pass a message to the masses. He consoled them, and speak for them when no one had the guts to confront our leaders. Who would not like such a brave man? Yes he paraded girls like that, but I have a strong believe that his messages have a stronger impact in the masses than his videos which a larger number of his fans don't even have.

So, does it make sense to compare Fela who was more or less a human right activist, whose intention was to speak up when others were cowardly, who didn't care if you liked him or not, who didn't care if you buy his albums or not [/b]with other musicians [b]whose intentions is to make sales at all cost by merely parading unclothed girls with poor lyrics, poor melody, worthless messages or at worst no message at all?

Habba!

IMO, I think if any musician has done a great job, he doesn't need to promote sex to sell his music. Why do you think many parents would be so comfortable when they found their kids watching videos from Micheal Jackson? He did good music, and he hardly featured girls flaunting their buubs and butts. Yet he sold millions of copies of his albums. he even made more sales than those who promote their music with sex. So, what are we talking about? If your music is good, you've got good message and melody which can excite people, you need not promote it it with sex.

To me, I think those producers just offer unclothed girls as consolation for wasting your time. Their aim is this; At least, even if you don't enjoy the money spent on buying the album, you have not wasted your money completely. You can still satisfy your curiosity, by watching free buubs, butts and even  raw pusssy sometimes.

Have you wondered why dealers of Range Rover HSE sport 2010 Supercharged will never go on heavy promotion like dealers of Geely cars? Because the quality of Range Rover sells itself. The same applies to some lazy musicians here. I believe musicians who know that they have not really done well with the message and melody of their song, would only want to make get it into the Market at all cost; even if it involves flaunting their grandmother's flat buubs or some ugly big belly with annoying folds and stretch marks (mostly common with Yoruba secular musicians and actresses).

HISSES, and moves out.

Until people who join the Police Force are those who were passionate about the force from childhood, all that the FG is saying would remain a bunch of bullshit! Many of those who joined the police force were never passionate about it. Many joined out of joblessness. How do you expect people who joined the force out of economic frustrations to do the job the way it should be done? Until the high level of unemployment in Nigeria can be reduced to a reasonable level, the force would continually be flooded by those who take up the job as a means of livelihood, and not because of their patriotism. The more their salaries are increased, the more corrupt they become. I knew of a time when the police at road blocks used to collect N1 note. When their salary was improved, they stepped up to N5. When Abdusalam took over after Abacha's death, he increased their salary, and the police stepped up to N20 at road blocks. With the last increament on their salary, they stepped up to N50 in some states. Any attemtpt to increase their salary now, they will head for N100. I dont know why I keep having this believe that they would be aiming at N1000 someday. Buttom line is that, the more the government increase their wage, the higher they demand at road blocks. And I don't even see this stopping.

For the Nigerian Police for perform up to expectation, the following should be present.

Other employment opportunities: Rather than sucking our country dry, let our leaders develop our country which in turn could foster lots of employment/good business opportunities. Once people have lots of job opportunities to choose from, many people who joined the force today, might not be in the force. That way, the few people who joined the force, would be those who are really passionate about it. I mean the patriotic Nigerians. Without the right people in the force, the police force will remain the same even if the FG sends all the house owners at VGC away and turn it to police barracks. They will forever remained unsatisfied, and they will never stop the N50 they collect on their road blocks.

@ honiye

I see that solutions to our economic problems not forthcoming until we individuals change our attitude, mentality and perception to our own country. we made up of everyone represented in every crime committed in this country. someone just asked a question that might be vital to him/her, only for some silly idiots to enlist social vices and criminal activities as option. You and you need to change yourself before you can change anyone. If you can not utilize this forum for things more reasonable why don't you sign off?

Judging from the location I see on your profile, I assume you currently reside in Canada. No wonder  . I expect you to know the meaning of occupation. otherwise, I expect you to have a dictionary. From own dictionary occupation means " The principal activity in your life that you do to earn money". Occupation can be legal or illegal. This is the first flaw the poster made. He did not phrase his question very well. That is why i advised him to phrase his question again, if he is not getting the kind of response he got.

Second. Nigeria is a free country where people get away with just anything as long as you are highly connected and you have the money to buy justice. That is why legal and illegal occupations are rampant everywhere. The Poster was not specific. He asked a general question, and  he got general answers. Someone gave a list, which I consider as the best. It comprises of both legal and illegal occupations. Assuming he listed only illegal occupations, I would have felt like you too. He wasn't biased at all. If you like pretend not to know, but that is Nigeria for you. Take it or leave it, the illegal ones take the lead. see the list again

1. Mega Oyel Bunkering (like those guys in the ND creeks)
2. Kidnapping (will soon displace oyel bunkering for the no. 1 spot because it has a higher "Return On Investment" rate)
3. More oyel bunkering (like that dude in Lagos)
4. Politics (Pays like hell. ever heard of "Sitting Allowance"? yeah, they get that too!)
5. Police (N50 x 500 Motorists  x 365 days. We're  talking some really huge figures here!)
6. Yahoo-Yahoo
7. Multinational Oyel workers
8. Bank Executives
9. Contractors
10. Others

I want to assume that the poster knew his answers already. How did he know Nairalanders are wrong, if he didn't have his own answers already? So, why is he disturbing people when he knows their views won't count? Even if he googles the question up, what he would get will still be the view of someone else. Everything he gets on search engines are posted by someone. And that doesn't mean every answer he gets in search engines will always be right. Only a federal bureau of statistics should have the kind of answers he wants. He should have contacted them if that of Nigeria is friendly enough to answer him without him bribing any office clerk. And yes, that is still Naija for you.

And you too. If you are this patriotic. Why are you abroad? To study? why cant you study here? To work and live there? why can't you work and live here? For business? why cant you sit here and do business here? Please do not deceive yourself. Those white people know most of the things we are trying to hide. Face the reality!

On a final note, I do not support crimes. But I will never pretend not to know that criminals earn more than doctors or engineers and others you expect to see on the list. But I want you to know that those things you see as crimes, are only crimes in papers as far as Nigeria is concerned. But its a way of life here. Those who should bring the criminals to book are even the ones behind it. This is a country where only poor people go to jail for crimes committed. The rich ones (often our leaders) get away with it. So, what are you trying to prove? Abeg shine your eyes jare, and leave matter!

I just don't know why the poster is finding it hard to accept the bitter truth. He probably thinks everyone is joking here. Some one has already pointed the jobs out. Find it here again

1. Mega Oyel Bunkering (like those guys in the ND creeks)
2. Kidnapping (will soon displace oyel bunkering for the no. 1 spot because it has a higher "Return On Investment" rate)
3. More oyel bunkering (like that dude in Lagos)
4. Politics (Pays like hell. ever heard of "Sitting Allowance"? yeah, they get that too!)
5. Police (N50 x 500 Motorists x 365 days. We're talking some really huge figures here!)
6. Yahoo-Yahoo
7. Multinational Oyel workers
8. Bank Executives
9. Contractors
10. Others

Dear Mr. Poster,

If you do not want to accept the list above, please kindly come back home (if abroad) to create your own job, and try to make it one of he best 10. You will be surprised by the way poor power supply and other economic frustrations will swallow up the business within a year. I just pray it would not get so bad to the point that you will start considering the first six jobs listed above.

Please shine your eyes, and face the truth. If this is not the type of responses you are expecting, please rephrase your question. However, the answers you have received are the best for the question asked. That is Naija for you. Hope you understand.

Bye for now, and remember to greet mummy for me. Don't forget that thing I told you o!

Yours sincerely,

aktunde

Honestly, I don't mind if the soldiers killed them. If you have ever been maltreated by those LASTMA guys, I'm sure you would not have pity for them.

Sometime ago, I missed my road in Lagos and I asked a LASTMA official for direction. I assumed he knew the area very well. He deliberately misled me, and allowed me to fall into a trap they set. His colleagues got me,and the argument started. I confessed to them that I didn't know my way, and a LASTMA official asked me to make a U-turn where I did.  Shortly after, the LASTMA guy that misdirected me, came to the scene, but he denied me completely. I was so shocked, and I couldn't hide me tears. I missed an important job interview that day. It's one of the days I will never forget in my life.

Why did they even resuscitate from their unconsciousness? Call me a wicked guy if you like, but I wish every wicked LASTMA official dead!

@ Chamber2

I am yet to xperience d 7% growth in my pocket.pls nairalanders am I left out here?

A country dat v been in a recession since 1st october 1960 is claiming 2 b growing at 7%. Deceitful

So Nigeria started her own recession since the day she gained independence? Meaning Nigeria was better off with the Colonial Masters?

This reminds me of what my elder brother used to do those days. Then I was still very young then. I could remember that about twice, he had asked me to go and deliver letters to a girl. The first one, he wrote all the songs of Boyz II Men. (On Bended knees). He didn't write it in stanzas, so that the girl would not think it was a song. He wrote it like a normal letter, with good paragraphing. Like two weeks latter, he wrote another one, and it was "Ocean Runs dry" by boyz II Men again, following the same style.

Any elderly man who read those messages then would think  he was dating the girl already, but only had some problems with her so he was apologizing through those messages. It never seizes to amuse me now, to realize that my brother was actually writing all those messages (Boyz II Men Lyrics) to a girl who he was only toasting. Are all those apologies songs by BoyZ II Men appropriate to toast a girl? What are those apologies for? Apologizing for dumping a girl who has not even said YES to him? How is that possible? The memories of all these, keep every one of us including his wife laughing these days. His wife laughs the most and teases him with it, and it touches him badly each time his wife does that.

@ lagerwhenindoubt

CHAI!!! I was hoping to tap that bootyyy someday before she got hooked  

Me too. The thing pain me ooooo. Well, I assume a lady like that has a great tendency of cheating on her husband. So, there is still hope for us, lol. So nothing do us.

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For further information or booking, call 08056396202

It amazes me to see that some people are saying " as long as there is no other intention by the lender or borrower". This keeps me wondering if there is free lunch in this side of the world.

For me, HELL NO!

@ lizzybabe1

Tell your girl to reply his CALL ME I LOVE YOU texts with I WON'T CALL YOU I HATE YOU. She should send it like 80 times then the bobo go know say craze pass craze.

@ Stillwater

abi o

@ Ladylocs,

Could it be possible that your lady did indeed give her number to the gentleman?
I don`t imagine that anyone would risk their job just so they can harass your beautiful lass. Just a thought,

Honestly, I do not care how the guy got her number, and neither do I care if she gave him or not. Other guys who I don't even know call her, and I have never given a hoot about that because I do not want to give myself any unnecessary headache because of all that. I believe in relationships, what will be will be, regardless of the close marking you give your girl or guy. So, button line, I don't care if she gave him or other guys her number. The things that amaze me are as follows;

(1) Is it not shameful for a guy working in a bank, to be flashing a 400 level student (girl)? If they must talk on the phone, who should call who? Who should flash who?

Personally, I hate flashing. i don't flash people. I even feel shameful to flash my own girl friend, and not to talk of other girls. If my gf attempts to call me, I drop her call and call her back. That is they way it should be, if you are working but dating a student.

(2) If he must snatch another man's girl, can't he just at least spend some money? Flashing is free. Then MTN "CALL ME I LOVE YOU" is also free. I expect him to know that an average girl wouldn't like to hang out with someone that stingy. Can't he just spare N7. and type "I LOVE YOU" so as to avoid the "CALL ME" part of the free text? Why would he expect her to call him? Is it pride or he is shameless?

Rather than feeling jealous or unsecured, those two scenarios disgust me and honestly the guy needs proper beating. Not for trying to snatch my girl, but for disgracing men and rubbing the name of his fellow bankers in the mud.

CONCLUSION

Well, I have told my girl to handle the guy herself or go to the bank. The only reason why I might have anything form of encounter with the guy is probably at the scene where some beatings would be organised for him if he doesn't stop his madness. Thank you all for your suggestions!

Thanks every one for your comments. I'm really making sense out of them.

A guy is embarrassing my girl friend, and I'm getting mad. This is not to say that I am feeling unsecured, for there is no reason for me to feel that way. However, I am getting mad because of the approach of the guy. I do not expect his kind of insanity in this generation. This is the story,

My gf had always been telling me that a particular guy had been disturbing her each time they met somewhere. But I was never bothered by her stories anyway because I see it as a normal thing for guys to patronize her because she is pretty. According to her, the guy had always been asking for her number which she told me she never gave. Unknown to my gf, the guy works at WEMA bank.

One day, my gf went to the closest WEMA Bank branch to pay some money into someone else's' account. After paying, she had to register her transaction into a book provided by the bank. Of course, she had to write her name and phone number as the depositor. She said she was so surprised when the guy who had been patronizing her suddenly appeared from one counter, and took that same register. That was how the guy got to know her real name and phone number.

That same evening, she started receiving some "flashing" on her phone. She had been flashed more about 21 times from a strange phone number. None of us could imagine who the flasher could be, so she ignored. At a point, the flashing started distracting me, and I asked her to contact the nasty flasher immediately. She picked up her phone, and typed "who are you please?" . Funny enough, the guy replied to the text using another phone number, and introduced himself as a staff of that bank. He also gave his name, and my gf knew instantly it was that same guy patronizing her. From the looks on my gf's face, I could see how infuriated she was. I asked what's wrong baby? and she couldn't tell me. She knew I would make jest of her, about the kinds of guys asking her out. So, she remained quiet. Still I didn't pressurize her to tell me what it was all about. So, I left her.

I saw my gf typing on her phone with a cold face. I guess she was trying to reply to that guy. She replied by typing this to the guy "and so what? Is that why you have been flashing me? Even if you cant afford to call, is am SMS to much to express your foolishness?" My gf droped her phone after sending that message. I picked up her phone (very unusual of me) and read what she sent to the flasher. Before I could drop the phone, another message came in. Guess what the message is, "CALL ME I LOVE YOU". I guess the guy capitalized on this "Even if you cant afford to call, is am SMS to much to express your foolishness?" So, he started sending that free text message. I laughed so much when I saw that message. I gave it to my gf, and her anger grew up again. She started crying because I never stopped laughing. She wanted to pick up her phone, probably to curse the guy, but I didn't give it to her. I kept laughing, and my laughter was really killing my gf, but I apologized latter sha.

The whole story was very funny to me the first day. But now, it isn't funny anymore. The reason is that its been like a week now since the guys has been sending her "CALL ME I LOVE YOU". I heard that you can only send that kind of text five times a day. The guy virtually used all his "CALL ME I LOVE U" code for her alone. She has over 35 of such messages on her phone now.

Why I am worried is this;

Why will a guy descend so low?
Is he normal at all?
Are some bankers so poor now, that they can't even call ladies with their phones? Or are they too full of themselves to expect ladies to call them with their phones even when such ladies know the bankers want to ask them out. Let me put it this way, to the ladies. As a girl, can you call a guy (even if he is the MD of NNPC) with your own phone, and allow him to start toasting you with your own credit? Even if you are willing to listen, who should initiate the call? And to guys, is it proper to send CALL ME I LOVE YOU to a girl, even if she is your gf? For me, I don't even know the MTN codes for all those free nonsense!

The thoughts of all these are disgusting. I feel so annoyed that I feel like kicking his balls for disgracing men.

Has anyone tried the new GTB Visa card? Is it better than the Master Card which the bank retired?

@ Akinalabi

I use a brand new KIA Cerato bought last year. I'm not sure of the 2010 model. But the one I use has no airbag. The KIA Cerato and the KIA Rio I see in this picture came out the same time. There dates of manufacture can only be different. But they all came the same time.

Na lie him dey talk. Na by magi or by mouth? 20 million jobs ko, 20 million jobs ni. Tell him to think of other lies to tell or better still let him remain on yankee. How can someone who doesn't live here know how to solve the problems we have hear? Or does he think Nigeria is still at that stage where people worship any one who comes from abroad?

Abeegiii

KIA Cerato that looks more beautiful and bigger in size has no Airbag. I wonder why people now expect KIA Rio which is smaller in size and in Engine size to have Airbag. But why do people expect too much from cheap cars? If the cars have all the features and durabilities that are available on the Toyotas, don't you think it would be more expensive than its current price?

Dana Motors's aim is to produce a beautiful fibre, powered by an engine, to take you from one place to the other. If you need anything else outside that, you may want to consider other brands.

I can see some people talking about perfume, flowers, cards, candle light and so on here. This guy says his mum is celebrating her birthday and not his gf. This guy doesn't describe his mother here. Assuming the mother is an illiterate, selling akara in the village. Will she appreciate all these? It would also surprise you to know that a woman selling akara in the village., would not appreciate a car. She might only pray for his children to have the money to use it themselves. I know lots of happening girls who don't even appreciate cards and flowers, and not to talk of an illiterate old woman. Please don't get me wrong here. I do not know his mother, so I can't say if she is old or literate. I only use that to illustrate why it is wrong to make suggestions even when you do not know the woman or or the budget of the guy involved.

If you need suggestions, state your budget, describe your mom and especially what she likes now, but cant afford. If the cost of her pressing need falls within your budget, then go for it. You might find it interesting to know that her pressing need could be just for her to see all her children and grand children at a time. So, her pressing need might not necessarily be about cash or expensive gifts.

well this is not something I did directly. But I was involved in it, and it makes me laugh each time I remember. It is what my sister did.

Then my elder sister and I were still in secondary school. She was in SS1 while I was in JSS1. She already had a boyfriend but then I hated sitting besides girls and not to talk of having one as a girl friend. So by then, I know understand at all! I often reported my sister when ever I saw her with her boyfriend. One day, she sneaked out to her boy friend's house, and didn't return on time. We often had night devotion by 9pm before any one is allowed to go to bed.

it was past 9pm, and my sister wasn't back yet. My sister knew she was in big trouble. She got to the door late and heard my mother and I talking. She was afraid to knock at the door. At a point, she couldnt hear my mother's voice again, so she thought she had gone to bed. She knocked at the door, and my mom replied "who is that". My sister didn't respond. Because there was no response, my mother asked me not to get the door. So, I sat down. My sister kept knocking at every 5 minutes intervals, but she would never respond when my mom said "who is that". The time was then approaching 10pm.

Later, I excused myself from my mom, and took another way outside. I saw my sister outside with tears allover her face. it's obvious she was afraid of standing in the dark all alone. Then I asked "were you the one knocking?" She said "Yes". Then I asked again "why didn't you reply when mom said "who is that". Her explanation was crazy. She said she knew that my mom and I were still awake, and in the living room. She said she wanted to knock the door in a way that I alone would hear the knocking and my mother would not hear. I busted put laughing. How on earth can my mom and I be in the same room, and some one would knock at the door normally (aloud) and want me alone to hear when my mom is not deaf? She could see both of us talking through the window. I kept laughing as I walked away from her. I went straight inside, and told my mom what she had told me. My mom allowed her in. But when she came in, my mom couldn't spank her again as planned because the excuse my sister gave kept her laughing like she was high. My sister then felt very silly for the foolish excuse she gave. My sister busted out laughing eventually. But after the devotion, my mother talked to her about her movements.