₦airaland Forum

ogawisdom:
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I have not had law gigs. You can give me a sample and topic, and I will deliver it.

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ademola2017:
In 2017, i expressed my deep concerns on nairaland about my now ex wife double dating game before we got married, her attitude towards me and how the relationship was one sided.

I got several advices to let her go but decided to give the marriage another chance but it eventually crashed in March 2022. We did all we could to save the marriage but to no success. We were done patching. No child was involved and absolutely nothing to show for the marriage after 8years of being together. I still feel the pain but it gets better everyday.
I credit myself for not cheating on her till our last days together and even months after our separation.

After several months of being celibate, I had sex with a young 25year old lady. I met her through a family friend 2 months before she got pregnant

Just one intercourse, she became pregnant. At first, i doubted it because I laboured very hard to father a child for 8yrs and with just one sexual intercourse, someone is carry my baby?? with me being very knowledgable about calculating ovulation dates and timely intercourse, it conformed so I had to accept the pregnancy as a sign from God.

Deep down, my new partner and I do not love each other but the respect for each other is on point. We have ZERO expectations from each other. We communicate well and have started living together in peace. No arguements, no drama and no issues at all.

I changed my mindset by taking her as my younger sister and she does same by taking me as an older brother.

It feels strange to be at so much peace with someone that I dont love at all. Our baby is coming and I am scared things may change when the true reality sets in.

What do you guys think?

I commend your attitude. However,
1. When that child is birthed. DO DNA
2. Th idea of brother and sister and you keep fucking (or not) yourself doesn't make sense. She is the more of your child!!!
3. Keep treating we well. Please don't stop.
4. However, what do you want? Dont lie to yourself. A baby mama or wife.
5. If it is a baby mama, let her know she won't be living for long after birth
6. If na wife, uncle you have define it and she have to know. She can't be single for long. Men will start coming around.
7. Uncle, love is a decision and not a feeling. I have learnt this. Leave another lies they will tell you.

This guy is mean.
You knew her body count. You still took her in. Una smash. Without cd.
Now she is pregnant. You are worried.
Is that not wickedness...

My point exactly.

Pierocash:
dey play.

He is quoting the same law they have never obeyed or followed. Once it doesn't go their way, they start quoting law.

You are quoting law with a Governor, even you that is the speaker can be removed by the governor without any consequence not to talk of ordinary clerk

If Wike has done this removal would the HOS remember that there is constitution?

sirpharrell:
Disregard The Posting Or Transfer Of Assembly Staff - Speaker Martin Amaewhule.

The speaker of Rivers State House of Assembly, Rt. Hon. Martin Amaewhule, through his SSA on Media, Martins Wachukwu, has warned Rivers People and the public to disregard the posting of Rivers State Assembly Staff.

A statement released this morning through the SSA on Media reads:

THE POSITION OF THE RIVERS STATE HOUSE OF ASSEMBLY SERVICE COMMISSION LAW 1999 AND THE RIVERS STATE HOUSE OF ASSEMBLY SERVICE COMMISSION (AMENDMENT) LAW NO. 10. OF 2012 ON THE APPOINTMENT AND REMOVAL OF THE CLERK AND DEPUTY CLERK OF THE RIVERS STATE HOUSE OF ASSEMBLY

Appointment:
Section 6(1)a says there shall be a Clerk of the Assembly who shall be appointed by the Speaker from the Legislative/Clerk at Table cadre and the appointment shall be based on seniority, merit, competence and experience subject to the confirmation by the Rivers State House of Assembly.

Section 7(1) says that the Speaker shall appoint the Deputy Clerk who shall be the most senior officer from the Legislative Officer/ Clerk cadre.

Removal:
The procedure for the removal of the Clerk and Deputy Clerk of the Rivers State House of Assembly is provided for in Section 6 (4) and Section 7(3) respectively. Section 6(4) says “the Clerk shall be removed from office upon a petition to the State House of Assembly and a Resolution passed by two-thirds (2/3) majority of Members of the House for his inability to discharge the functions of his office (whether arising from infirmity of mind or body or from any other cause) or for misconduct.”

Section 7(3) says “ The removal of the Deputy Clerk shall be the same as that of the Clerk”

Meanwhile,Section 93 of the 1999 Constitution as amended says that.

“There shall be a Clerk to a House of Assembly and such other staff as may be prescribed by a Law enacted by the House of Assembly, and the method of appointment of the Clerk and other staff of the House shall be as prescribed by that Law.”

From the above it clearly shows that the appointment and removal of the Clerk and Deputy Clerk are the exclusive preserve of the Speaker and 2/3 majority of the House . The Head of Service or even the Governor do not have the powers to appoint, remove or transfer the Clerk or his Deputy especially once they are appointed.

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Penguin2:
I wanted to say give him 3 months in power and he would start to chuck two fingers into Yahaya Bello’s eyes….

But this guy is too daft to know his left from his right.

That’s why Yahaya Bello planted him. He will just be be answering “Yes Daddy” for 8 years😏.

Sorry, Kogi!

I doubt that is what is going to happen. See Rivers state. Less than 6 months, the incumbent and the former governor at war. [quote][/quote]

Anaskie:
I pray these capitalists don't destroy Open AI, by monetising it.

Chat GPT is the best thing to have happened to the world, post COVID era. They should leave it free for us to enjoy.

I swear.

Silence. Don't react. If it want to get physical walk away.
Remind yourself this everyday

nairalanduser23:
I am tired of my wife's quarrelsome behaviour which I think she reserves for me. I can be having a honest conversation with her and out of nowhere it will lead to a quarrel with her. It surprises me.

Strange enough, I have observed her communication with neighbours, work colleagues and she knows how to compose herself but when it is me even a funny comment can upset her. Even when I tell her I didn't mean her negative interpretation of a comment, she will still insist on her negative interpretation.

She sometimes talks to me in a way that seems unfriendly to the point that I desire her talking to me the way she talks to outsiders. I have talked to her about it but it is not helping matters. She acts like she is not ware of her tone but there is a stark difference between how she talks to me and other people.

I earn far more than her and take care of the house bills so money is not an issue. I feel like I am the only one proactive about peace in the marriage while she is care-free.

How can I deal with this?

11 months is such a long time. Not everyone takes infidelity lightly.
Ask God for direction. Meet a marriage counsellor for advice.

If you walk away, one question that will keep hunting you is "why did you leave your marriage".

Jewessgratitud3:
"Sir, should I divorce or remain subject to this punishment for my infidelity? Or leave and start a new life without my family? What should I do ?

I am a married woman. I have no problems in my marriage. My husband had just been posted to another city. But I knew a young man when I was younger. We got back in touch. As chance would have it, we ran into each other one day when we were leaving the hospital.

We called each other regularly and saw each other. But I couldn't imagine it could reignite the flame still inside me. Unknown to my husband I told him out and welcomed him home. One day I introduced my husband to him. Everything was fine.

One day I fall so low by sleeping with him in my home. The children returning from school accompanied by my husband caught us in the act.

My husband and the children didn't say anything and my friend also left. Since that day neither my husband nor the children speak to me. No one eats the food I make. No child accepts that I even touch them for their shower. No one asks for my help with their class assignment. My friend also abandoned me.

I begged my husband for forgiveness but nothing. It has already been 11 months that I have lived as a stranger in the house. Their silence weighs on me. I told my parents about this.

My father no longer speaks to me. My mother occasionally only insults and calls me a harlot and stupid. I don't dare tell his family exactly. My husband also didn't tell his family.

I'm so ashamed of what I did. I broke my home. I do not know what to do"

Awuse and Akawor are of the Ikwerre tribe. Take note

Taylor94:
Sam Jaja is from Opobo


Sargent Awuse is from Buguma and every Rivers man knows Awuse was the Atiku of Rivers guber tussle because he never won even after contesting so many time starting from Odili


Desmond Akawor na Oyigbo man


Emma Anyanwu na Ulakwo Etche man who is Wikes senior man in the other circle. Wike doesn’t even call him Emma Anyanwu what Wike calls him is Oga Anyawu


LMFAO No Ikwerre man among them


Na sim Fubara dey dull himself, if I be Sim I’ll expand Ikwerre road from Mile 1 education straight to Igwuruta round about just to justify my reason to demolish Wike papa house for Wimpey junction


After all na wetin Wike do Omehia and the rest


Sim you be Rivers man no go Mumu like Ambode oo


Anyways I Kuku trust you because if you’d wanted to be Ambode you for no change am for Wike real quick


How can Wike be demanding for 3 billion monthly from Rivers treasury. Sim pay two times say he no pay again boom impeachment

About the time you posted this and now you are reading this do you think SIM is what you think he is seen what has happened after his impeachment and now?

N3TRAL:
Wike chose Sim as his successor not because of Sim's meekness, but because of his stupidity.

Every leader wants a sheep because a sheep is a very stupid animal even though it is overlooked as obedience.

Sim is a mediocre civil servant with a low IQ who finds it hard to construct basic sentences to produce a decent speech. That kind of guy can't devise a strategy to fight. Wike chose the weakest and stupidest Rivers man alive to be his successor 😂

Sim will most likely be ex-governor in the next 24 hours.

If I'm Governor for 48 hours, my predecessor can't do shit to me.

---

Sim is fvcking dull. How the fvck do you let them gather by 7am to impeach you in a State you sit as governor?
Tf?

Single Apartments!!!!! It answers it all

Your decision is for your sanity. Standby it. You are the one married not them.

Nengiraw:
Hello nairalanders, please I need help on this situation. So I’m a lady in her mid 20’s. I’m actually very much set for marriage in the eyes of my family, since society deem it fit to place marriage as an achievement for women, and always bring up your age to remind you to. Anyways, it’s not a priority for me to get married now, as I feel like I’m not ready mentally,and I have a lot of trauma to work on, but I’m also open to it, if it’s in my face and ready. I don’t stay in Nigeria, so my family don’t know if I have a man in my life, so they decided upon themselves to introduce me to a man who is my uncle’s friend that stays in the same country as me. They were more focus on the fact that he comes from a neighboring village from us and that he was a doctor. (Meanwhile he’s actually a nurse, but he told them, that he was a doctor, he also never mentioned to them that he was married and had a child, before they decided to introduce him to me)

So we eventually started talking on WhatsApp, he saw some of my pictures already and he was mesmerized. In fact he was already kind of making me his wife in that moment. So one day he called me and we were just talking,and I heard like a toddler crying so bad and needed his attention, I asked him who was that , he told me it was his daughter, there was this awkward silence for almost five minutes of us not saying anything, so I told him I’ll call him back. I called my mother that day and was mad as hell, that they didn’t disclose such information to me, but from my mother’s reaction she had no idea, and she was also mad and she told me, she will call me back, so she could verify from my uncle, since that’s his friend. Even my uncle too had no idea. To cut the whole story short, he later called me the next day on a video call, and he started telling me about his wife( Yes! She’s still his wife, because I don’t think he has divorced her yet)and how abusive she was, and how he tried to make it work, but she was so crazy and stuff like that. That he’s actually trying to get shared custody of the child. That he’s no longer married to her. I was not really having it, because I just felt like he wasn’t being honest with certain things and on top of that his wife is still in the picture, and I don’t know if I want to settle for that. Also he just turned 40, and I’m 25. So the age gap is too much for me. Also I have not met him in real life, cause he stays in a different state from me, my family still wanted me to be open minded until I see him in person, then I could make a decision if I want him or not. He always sends me pictures of his daughter, and he recently sent me one with his first wife and daughter, I was surprised that he did, and he said he wanted to show me the daughter instead. I still felt like I didn’t need to see a picture of her. I started seeing the red flags of him that I couldn’t settle with. Also the way he talked about the wife was vulgar, and I felt like he didn’t need to tell me about her in that manner.

Now the most recent thing he started doing was sending me random stuff about marriage to my WhatsApp. I usually glance at it,and don’t reply, cause I don’t know why he’s sending me that. The one that gave me a major big red flag from him, is when he sent where Regina daniels( the actress who married Ned nwoko) was talking about marrying her husband a virgin and how it’s important to be a virgin. He then asked me if I was one. Honestly I felt really numb, because I don’t know why he will be asking me stuff like that, when he didn’t really get a respond back from me, he proceeded to send another message telling me, “No mind them sha, virgin no sabi. With a heart eye emoji. I was dumbfounded, I didn’t know how to reply to him anymore. I stopped picking up his calls and I have no intention to meet up with him anymore. Now my family is mad at me, saying that at least I should see him in person, but I don’t want to. In fact I’m no longer interested in him. Please am I wrong for feeling the way I feel? Thanks.

No be if you get money to stuck 😄

yinkus6750:
The stage is set for the biggest shut down ever .
Nigerians have never had it this bad
If the stroke will make the FG to review it's policies and ensure fairness to its citizens, let it be.
The Union leaders are more united and determined this tune around
The hardship has reached its peak and become absolutely unbearable.

It's biting hard. When hunger comes, you will make
far-reaching decisions. They have seen how the brown envelopes drains off almost immediately. I am in support of this action.

Prove her wrong.

Was sex part of the conversation you guys had before marriage? And how was the sex life in the first 4 years?

Our suffering just started

As ugly my advice may seem, get a divorce so you don't regret your actions in her later in life.

Everybody have what is important to them. If you can't get it during dating/courtship, then you can't get in marriage.

As for your children. So long you don't abandon them, everything will be alright.

addmole:
I and My wife have been married for 5 years. We are based here in Lagos. She's 35 years old. We are doing very okay and living comfortably. Since we got married, my wife hated sex so much. I am not even trying to sugarcoat this. She doesn't want to hear you talk about it or she does it. There's no one in the family that haven't tried to settle our differences since we got married. She was never like this when we were dating. It's been 1 issue to the other. She doesn't initiate sex, and when she does accept you to have sex, it's missionary style and it's just 1 round. Ah, me wey dey like knack wella. This woman begin change am for me. Lol. She doesn't want to hear you discuss sex.

Anyway sha, lets move on...

5 YEARS ago, her mum came to my house to kneel down and tell me I am stressing her daughter that I should not kill her with sex. Her then-unmarried sister then asked if I ama dog? Ah, insult. Anyway, I don forgive her. I spoke to my wife and told her what is the meaning of this? What kind of lies are you feeding your family with? This is the same person who happens to make just 1 round of sex. Just 1 round. She lies flat on her back. Once you are done, she quickly pushes you away if you stay on top of her for more than 10 to 15 minutes. There were times she would hit me if I try to initiate sex. I reported to her elder brother. He elder brother warned her. She stopped. She moved to kicking me anytime we initiate sex on bed, i reported to my pastor, he spoke to her and then, she stopped. My pastor told me i have to be patient with her. I said OK.

Omo...
The only time we make love is just 1 round, missionary style and that's it. She says she has pain on her stomach. I have been patient for 5 years with her. I told her anytime she's strong enough, we can make out. That there's no problem.

I have been pressured to cheat on her many times. i HAVE BEEN REALLY PRESSURED. Its just not easy. Her family have insulted me for demanding sex from her. Lol. The thing tire me. I see no where i am demanding. We don't do any other position apart from the missionary style. We do not even kiss. This is a woman that doesn't want you to kiss in in anyway. Even sometimes, she shouts at you when you try to be romantic to kiss her unexpectedly just to spies up our love life. She doesn't even want you to cuddle her on bed. She wants to be alone. Make money, attend to her business, vibes, laugh with friends and family and that's it. When it comes to sex, don't go there discussing that with her about making out.

I even had to retort to preparing her mind for sex by sending her a position we would try on WhatsApp, she would leave the message on read and not respond. When you talk to her about what you sent to her, she would just tell you, she's not strong to make love.

ANOTHER PART OF HER:
My wife is a very bitter person full of anger. If you try to tickle her when she's cooking in the kitchen to play with her, she gets angry and warns you not to try such. My wife doesn't want you to play with her. I am not writing all these to make it look I am a victim here. But all these are my experiences. I have to pour it out. I NEED SOME ADVICE.

There were many times, we agreed on separating. But we have already children and we used to think about these because the quarrels and the disrespect, sex and everything is causing a whole lot on us.

We do not have any form of healthy discussion very well. Before you know it, we are quarrelling over the place, she's shouting. There was a time we quarrelled that after throwing a Gotv remote at her, she fainted. She woke up before we got to the hospital. She almost died. I told her, she needs to stop her anger and control herself and enjoy her marriage. She just won't listen. She's an Edo woman.

I have tried many times to leave the marriage because it's affecting my mental health. Sometimes I regret about getting married to her. Sometimes, I just feel, maybe I CAN TRY MORE and give her a chance. When you call her to discuss our sex life, about her anger and bitterness, she doesn't apologise. She hardly apologise. Even when I get to explain her part on why she was wrong, she claims she's right until maybe someone hears us arguing before she would reluctantly apologise.

I have been battling a really starved sex life, full of a woman with bitterness, anger and pride who never apologise. She's quick to advice other women on Facebook, She would video call friends, give them advice and her family how they need to maintain peace with their relationship. But she never seem to give me respect in anyway in her own own. Hmmmm.

Recently, my wife brought out another timetable that she cannot cope making out with me the way she does. Which is 3 times a week. That she can only be available to make love 2 times a week. This 2 times is just 1 round each. This is how she wants it. I immediately responded to her that I feel her pain. I understand. She cannot be pressured just to make it look like she wants to please me that I would rather get a side chic. Yes, i know this was wrong to tell her, but i am frustrated. She disrespects me and starve me of sex and she's even bending the rules again. She responded that 'ok that I am free to do what i LIKE'.

i decided to bring this here to know the comments from people. I would like to get advice from persons who are going through similar things like this and advice me on what to do.

Some of you might say, call her and talk to her. I have done that several times since in the last 5years. I did it last night and twice today. I have spoken to her. She promised she would change, she would not only repeat the same thing but make things worst the next time.

She disrespects me a lot. I have sometimes left the house but come back after families get to call me. She would change for a week and return to her old self.

What do I DO? Please make your responses constructive enough.

IconicR:
The way this Buhari disgust me ehn.
Met a mess and couldn't do anything rather he added to the mess and pushed everything on Asiwaju's head.
May Nigeria never experience Buhari again

He pushed everything to Tinubu. Is Tinubu showing any sign of fixing them.
Baba all of them are full of shit. Make all of disgust you abeg.lol

Adeoye11:
Have a friend in this case, but his is somehow.
This my friend had a girlfriend that they dated for three months and then had a misunderstanding in the third month of dating each other which makes them to block each other on all socials but my friend told me that they do always see in church and that he still likes the girl.
So my guy called the girl in church one day and the girl was so happy to respond so they settled their misunderstanding.
After about three months of coming back my friend discovered that this said girl is fucking one rich sugar daddy in this same church.
Which this man really used to take care of this girl by taking her to shopping, expensive restaurants and buying her provisions that even sometimes the man used to deny himself of his place of work so as to carry this girl to market and going home late to his family.
When my friend enquired from his babe why she is doing that the girl said because my friend left him.
And so when they came back together, the girl said the sugar daddy is not fucking her again but they always do the rest of sexual thing and that he still pays her bills, that it is hard for her to let the sugar daddy go quick because he has exposed the girl to some good life and that the man bought her an electric sewing machine of about 200k.
My guy told me that the girl really confessed alot she did with the sugar daddy in the period they had their own misunderstanding and that she apologized to this my guy but the girl has still not cut communication with this man, that at some point when the girl is with him this man still calls.
So of recent my guy told me that kasala don burst for some members of the church that this sugar daddy is Fucking the girl and so the girl is trying to seek solace in my guy and trying to avoid church cos of shame.

In this kind of case what can my friend do? And why did this said girl tells my friend everything she did with the man.
My friend said he still loves the girl and that the girl loves him too.
And that he plans to marry the girl

This is off. For me, I wont continue in the relationship. I am not interested in your past. But your present. We cant be dating and your are having another relationship outside. Sex or no sex.

If you drive slowly. You accelerate gradually and not beyond 50km/hr You save more fuel.

Baba, gradually put your hand in there, you know what's up. That one confirms everything for you.

Honeybadgerxx:
There's this church girl I'm currently dating, I love her so much and she loves me too. She claimed to be a virgin and insisted on no sex till marriage, I really do not have a problem with that cos I'm not a virgin and I told her about it and she said she's cool with it.

Now this is where the issue is, suddenly one day she chatted me up and asked if I know about hymen in ladies, I said yes and she popped another question asking if the hymen of a lady can be broken without penetration, I told her yes that sometimes the thickness of the hymen varies amongst ladies, some are very light that too much of heat and stress can make a lady discover a little discharge of blood underneath her thereby breaking the hymen ( I actually learnt this during school days). But the question got me curious and forced me to ask her if hers was still intact, she replied me by saying she doesn't know, that she only saw it online and decided to ask me cos she knew I'm knowledgeable, like how possible is this? Why shouldn't you know? We fought about this for days and she still insist that she's isn't aware, she was nearly crying saying this. Well, I noticed some innocence in her statements and let go of it.

Now my question is, is it possible for a lady not to know if her hymen is still intact or not? Ladies in the house please help me out.

Note: I'm not a simp, I be correct OG but decided to give love a chance and trusted this girl not because she's a church girl, not because she claimed to be a virgin, but because everyone tends to vouch for her including those kiss and tell guys around, none of them fit play her tape like they talk about other ladies around. Even in her uni days, I was opportuned to have a friend in her school hostel area of which he's unknown to her and the comments he gave about her are very impressive.
Even when I stylishly engage her in some sex topics, she tends to ask me the meaning of some erotic words.

She's a good girl, never billed me before, though I do send her funds atimes, she dresses moderately and hates going out.

But considering how ladies pretends and how some good girls turns bad, I still have this doubt within me, what could make her asked me such question?

Please I need answers as I'm planning towards our marriage soon, she's in her mid 20s and now a grad

TemplarLandry:

Mark my words, all the nominees…, I repeat, all the nominees shall be confirmed as ministers by the National Assembly. That screening is just ceremonial.

Have they ever disqualified any in this our democracy?
Omoh, leave these folks

In response, Muhammed told the lawmakers that he has other SSCE results in which he “passed all” subjects, adding that he did not attach them to his CV.
[b][/b]

Trust me, this dude will be confirmed. Its unfortunate

Prof. Utsev just these politicians look brilliant. The Nigerian Senate on the otherhand were just so in a hurry to tell these folks to take a bow and leave. Make I they look

I had similar experiences. It was heartbreaking. Genotype became my first serious conversation when I begin to see prospects in anyone. I'm grateful my AA partner is my answered prayers.

fourboys:
U no fit see Peter Obi for this kind list lie lie.. thank God for a man like Peter many ex governors dey follow his footsteps now

Peter Obi is not a member of the 10th Senate

OluwaLina1:
Happy sunday nairalanders.
I moved to a new area(Student area) and decided to attend a nearby church.

These are what I noticed.

-- I was the only one that used scarf.Even the choristers and the female ministers didn't use scarf.

--Almost all the female members are putting on trousers,ladies that put on gowns/skirt are not up to 20%.
I was even surprised that the two female ministers and the female choristers also put on trouser to climb the church alter.

--During prayer intersection,I noticed everybody were praying in tongues and it seems am the only person not filled with the holy spirit to speak in tongues.
Even when we were asked to pray on our offering,people still prayed in tongues.

And it just seems I'm odd among them or is it that am not modernized?

In my opinion, your definition of modernization in this context I think doesn't.
As a born again, dressing is paramount in church and outside. This debate never ends. I'll say, ignore doctrines and religion. Search the scriptures yourself and stay with your conviction.