₦airaland Forum

Emzyme:
Lol

No singled day passes without me getting called names without doing anything to warrant it


I shld go nd die,.deh shld kill.me.outside
Dat I laugh like a fool
Am nt worth their.10 naira
Dat am useless, stupid a fool
Etc


U knw how.many tyms I don try commit suicide

Sometimes sef I go even wan kill dem follow body buh I deh pity my siblings

Me na one kind shy person., hardly interacts with pple
So dis talks pain.me d more
Plus when we do prayers n d morning am d main subject
everyday for dis 2017
I have been called names , insulted



Me as I deh so ehn
If I get pikin
my only wish is nt to b like.my parents

Never instead of dat lemme just b childless
Cos I knw what d kids will pass thru

I love the bold. That's breaking the evil chain in was talking about. I'm so sorry for your experience.

KingEbukasBlog:
Nice article dear . Keep it up

Thank you my bubu

aflyingbird:
OP, abeg add the website link to the writer's article up there.

I'm the writer. Here is the link http://www.tobiezekiel.com/2017/12/in-spirit-of-christmas-please-stop.html

SAMBARRY:
You're on point.a lot of us were victims of parental emotional abuse especially if you're Yoruba.they think emotional abuse is discipline and child training,THEY don't know it's damaging and causes severe depression,low self esteem and nagging habits for girls and for boys unnecessary aggression ,violence and rage including wife battery

Reason I don't enjoy my parents company or staying around them

I know a women who beat her daughter to the point of removing her front tooth! Is just sad

yhlve:
Soo! Cu

Why did you say the bold?

I'm so happy this made front page, thank you Mods and merry Christmas to everyone

Please read and share to friends and family,Thank you.

The growing rate of child abuse/bullying in our society has become so alarming and a huge challenge to all well-meaning humans. And in the spirit of Christmas, I want to appeal and beg caregiver and parents to please stop this act. It’s not nice.

Whatever it is you have been through doesn’t give you the right to pass your pain unto somebody else, especially no child! Somebody has got to stop it. Somebody has got to say this is enough.

Child abuse has to STOP! In whatever form, be it physically, emotionally or sexually (well that’s a topic for another day). And the fact that some of the abusers have been in that same shoe in the past makes it even worse and pathetic!

C’mon people you have been where they are, you know how emotionally down you were, How traumatized, How psychologically destroyed you were, and you still going to treat children the same way...
Who stops the circle? You got to break the negative and evil chain.

This goes out to all the caregivers around the world., please, If you can’t take care of a child, then leave that child on the streets, or with the parents, out in the cold, but don’t bring the innocent child into your home only to maltreat the child all in the name of,” I have given you a roof over your head and you should be thankful," hell no! It doesn’t work that way! Karma will punish you silly! Don’t do that.

It costs absolutely nothing to be kind. Your being kind to another person is doing your own self a favor and not the other way round, so stop with the demigod mentality when “helping” a child or anyone at that all because they are in your home or seem powerless. You feel better when you are kind.

I understand a lot of people are frustrated due to one thing or the other. I mean, the happenings in Nigeria right now is enough to push anyone to their limit, but please… spare the children. Don’t take your frustration out on harmless children just because you have the power over them. It is all shades of wrong!

If you have ever treated any child in a wrong way simply because you are not biologically responsible for them or because they are not yours, then you should be ashamed of yourself! Because you are part of the societal problems we are ALL facing. The child that picked your pocket and stole something precious from you? Was denied love, care and affection by a defaulted supposed caregiver. Someone defaulted in their duty and little show of kindness.

I have heard people who say “I also had it tough while growing up and I turned out fine” NO darling, you didn’t turn out fine but vindictive. If you turned out fine, you won’t melt the same evil on another person, go get healing. The negative circle we keep passing from generation to generation has to stop somewhere. But who is going to stop it if not YOU! The fact you had it tough doesn’t mean every child under your care have to suffer the same fate.

Treating children the same terrible way you were treated is not going to make you feel better, instead, it will keep reminding you of the pain and hurt you went through, but treating them better helps you heal faster and you forget everything you went through
I understand some people were broken, hurt and brutalized as children, but permit me to ask,
How did you feel when people said you will amount to nothing?
How did you feel when you were laughed at by your caregiver’s children?
How did you feel when people you loved as a child treated you badly? It’s crazy and hurt so bad.
Now why would you want to put another person through that same torture?

Imagine how you would have felt if just one person came to your rescue and showed you love? Showed you kindness, warmth, actual care... I’m pretty sure you would have loved it and felt heaven on earth in your small little world.

Now, in the spirit of Christmas, I appeal to your conscience, give that child (or youth/adult/any person) under your care, the opportunity you never had, to feel that joy this season.

To parents (and grownups), you don’t talk to a child anyhow just because they are defenseless or they are children, it is not good for their esteem at all.
When you are raising a child, is like you giving them a bag to pack, anything you do, puts something in that bag. So everything you give them, they will carry for life.

What are you putting in the bag? Are you putting love, confidence, faith, peace, hope or are you giving them hell to carry? Bullying them or teaching them how to be timid and then, at the end of the day, they won’t have anything useful in their bag pack. So when they grow up, nobody wants to be bothered by them or be around them and they turn delinquents and in turn broken individuals the society has to deal with because of what you have given them.

They are not just children, they are people.
Child bullying isn't normal. And please it should be discouraged to be seen as normal. I'm not saying don't beat your child/children, but I think talking to them MORE is important.. Don’t just do things without explaining to them the reasons behind your actions, children are smart now.

I grew up in a home where, when my mummy beats me, she explains to me her reason for doing so.., or when my daddy scolds me, he makes me see reasons why he did that. And I try not to do what I was scolded for again.

If you have to beat your child up like a goat or call them unprintable names before he or she listens (which in most cases they still won’t), then your parenting style is faulty! And let me guess you will say "that is how my parents also treated me and I turned put well" forgetting each child is unique.. Take time to find out what your child responds to and act on it.

Parenting is not a lazy job. This is the reason why we have a lot of grown adults who are so angry with life, cold hearted, and find it strange when other people show love to them. They see showing love as a taboo or a sign of weakness because it wasn’t put inside their bag pack while growing up.

There is nothing wrong if you apologize to your child, it doesn't mean the child is now greater than you, no! The child is still your baby, you are only teaching that child to be responsible and say sorry to others when he or she offends others.

We should learn to teach children responsibility by SHOWING it to them! Whatever a child become as an adult, is greatly dependent on the kind of upbringing he/she had.

If you bully your children simply become you are their caregiver, then the society will have to deal with a defensive and angry child, or someone who doesn't know his rights.
I have noticed that parents who are unreasonably harsh on children do so because;
1. The children are the only people they can exercise power over..
2. Because they were raised like that, and just don't see the need to change the approach even if they know better.

Please stop child bullying.. It is not instilling discipline! If anything, is damaging the psychosocial make-up of the child.
So please, let us try to break the circle of abuse and child bullying even as we all enjoy this festive period.
**************************************************************
On behalf of Total Woman concept, I wish you a merry Christmas and a prosperous new year in advance.
We love you all!
#KeepReadingTWC������
Tobi Ezekiel.

Cc Lalasticlala, mynd44

Guitarlife:
Op don't listen to all these weak and selfish ladies on this platform, I have been looking for a wife now for the past 1 year same with my friend we never see.

Since I came to Lagos all I see are myopic, selfish and empty headed ladies covering their ignorance with heavy makeup.
I will advise you to look for a humble and decent girl. Not the kind of lady who did not even think of appealing to you when you got mad .
The kind of mentality ladies are moving with these days is bad, work hard , make your money and next time do not ignore red flags .
Personally, I do not like ladies who watch movies too much, I watch movies once in a while but when lady sits all day watching telemundo and african magic how will she raise your children to be the einsteins and the mark Zuckerberg ?

was it a joint search?

According to this, she had no problems removing them for a dinner... so what happened on that day?

I love this woman! And she is so pleasant too...

What is joro's job exactly? Because I don't understand how a grown man will be fabricating story like this

May God help is do good always

Ewwwwwwwwwww
This is just wrong!

Jupxter:
Groundnut Supplier Needed


If you supply Groundnut Seeds, Kindly get in touch. I need a regular supplier of Groundnut.


Thank you

Have you gotten a supplier?

Children also have feelings... If you need a seat, be responsible enough to come early, or at least, have the decency to offer the child your lap to sit while on their seat!

Child bullying isn't normal. And please it should be discouraged to be seen as normal. I'm not saying don't beat your child/children, but I think talking to them MORE is important.. don't just do things without explaining to them your reasons behind your actions. I grew up in a home where, when my mummy beats me, she explains to me her reason for doing so.., or when my daddy scolds me, he makes me see reasons why he did that. And I try not to do what I was scolded for again.

If you have to beat your child up like a goat, before he or she listens (which in most cases they still won't ) then your parenting style is faulty! And let me guess you will say "that is how my parents also treated me and I turned put well" forgetting each child is unique.. take time to find that the child responds to and act on it. Parenting is not a lazy job. this is the reason why we have a lot of grown adults who are so angry with life, cold hearted, and find it strange when other people show love to them.. or see showing love as a taboo!

There is nothing wrong if you apologise to your child, it doesn't mean the child is now greater than you, no! The child is still your baby, you are only teaching that child to be responsible and say sorry to others when he or she offends others.

We should learn to teach children responsibility by SHOWING it to them! Whatever a child become as an adult, is greatly dependent on the kind of upbringing he/she had.

If you bully your children simply become you are their caregiver, then the society will have to deal with a defensive and angry child, or someone who doesn't know his rights.(you don't need to go far, they are here on NL, so what I'm saying is practical)

I have noticed that parents who are unreasonably harsh on children do so because;
1. The children are the only people they can exercise power over..
2. Because they were raised like that, and just don't see the need to change the approach even if they know better (IMO)

Please stop child bullying.. It is not instilling discipline! If anything, is damaging the
psychosocial make up of the child.

Revolva:
Came across this as at going through the web and decided to share

Read Below:

A man asked “What age group of ladies should i approach if i really want to settle down?”

Preferred age group of ladies to settle down with is just a social construct. I'll say what Is YOUR preferred/comfortable age group? Find a girl and get in touch with her personality. That's all.

tosyne2much:
I think there are two sides to it.. There are ladies that are up to 30 years yet they are walking around with dumb skulls. No dreams, no vision, very childish and annoying

Well, I partially agree with you that most ladies below age 25 are still basking in fantasies. Their priority is how to watch BBNaija, seek attention and follow anything on trouser

I agree with the bold more.. and I think the relativity should be applied in both paragraphs.. A whole lot of young ladies (below 25) have focus and goals with what they want to do with life, and believe me , this goals are positive. I hardly see a young lady above 15 who is not into one business or the other (legitimate)... no matter how small or simple. They engage themselves positively... even if it's not business, they learn a skill or enrol in self development programmes.

But when it comes to marriage, obviously... A lady above 25 will be more interested in that than a lady below 25, which is normal and not a bad thing atall.. we have cases where even the above 25s are not all that kin on getting married..., doesn't mean is bad.. priorities differs among us all.
Is just orientation the way I see it.

Phunkyposh:
Am sorry about that., prepare in advance against tomorrow. It was really a nice time today

Hi dear, you sent a PM yeah? I just replied

Deleted

Congratulations to you guys

Gofwane:

I was already thinking "awww how nice of this person to help the OP" then I just saw this lol.. don't mind him Augustvisitor

Benita27:
On the contrary, it's said that a friend's loyalty is known when the chips are down. Those who made this quote were not drunk and it has been proven to be true 'cause wealth attracts sycophants. The married great men of this world met their women when they had nothing 'cause that's when you test a man's loyalty. Wonder why Mark Zuckerberg ended up with an average looking Asian instead of the beauties of America?, it's 'cause she was with him when he was nothing.

You said it's easier to pick your kind of woman when you have wealth. Sorry, it's a herculean task to pick your kind of woman when you have money. A wealthy man is full of insecurities.

You wouldn't marry a lady you're not sure whether she loves you or not, realistically speaking.

Either rich or poor, a MAN will know a woman who loves him for who he is or for his money or status (expect he deliberately ignores the sign). But they don't tell us in the open. I go with the financial compatibility school of thought. Imagine a woman who has manage to build herself alone.. that's a good wife material because she will manage everything that has to do with her life, including the husband and children (family ) well.

And another thing people should know is that, faithfulness is a virtue of personality and not a materialistic function. Little things about a person matters. I for instance, if I'm being faithful to my man, I'm not doing it because of him, rather I'm doing it because of ME, MY self respect and dignity.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate grass to grace stories (and the definition or grass to grace is relative) but that shouldn't be a perfect marriage criteria. Like the OP stated, we hear of broken marriages from celebrities because they are in the show business or public eye. You should visit a local court and hear the amount of divorce cases.

The fact you started dating someone when he wasn't financially stable isn't a yardstick to a long lasting marriage. the sustainability of a marriage depends on the two personalities involved, compatibility which is key and above all, God's grace which is sufficient for all.

And by the way mark's wife isn't ordinary.. go and read about her.. They were very compatible. If he was dating a striper then, you think he is going to marry her despite being with him when he had nothing?

First of all, he is not your husband, you are just his baby mama. I'm really sorry for her, but this is what happens when young women don't have a clear cut vision of their life. I mean, he told you to stop working and you sheepishly stopped because?
I'm 90% sure that the reason she is still in that house is because she is financially HANDICAP! If you had your own money, you think they won't respect you? The annoying thing is that, ladies will still not learn

tuoyoojo:
tanks alot people for d offers.this is my email tuoyoojo@yahoo.com.kindly send d pics of the car to it.if the offer is gud enuf i wud get back to you.meanwhile more offers r welcome.thanks alot again

Hi, Goodmorning. I don't know if the bold is still a working Email, but I sent a message to it. Kindly check, thank you

candlewax:
A capable man provides for the wife and family, the wife looks up to him, that means the wife is dependent on the wealthy spouse. its impossible to handle a project like renovation, construction if one is dependent. brother, your argument is impotent.

Augustap

Why must the wife be dependent in the first place? and not all wives look up to their husband financially. Some are financially independent

FortifiedCity:
I know you mean Financial stability. If a man is financially stable in every sense of the word, it should rub off on his wife, even though they might not be on the same level.

I wouldn't even want my husband's one dime (directly or indirectly ) to go into any building project for my family.

:DThe thought of her facial expression is even making me laugh out seriously

The man handled the situation wrongly. What happened to getting home or a private place to trash the issue?
And this is what happens when your husband must pay for everything. Using the money he gave you to buy cream? So if the money wasn't given, she won't buy cream? Anyways, this may just be a joke

mgbadike81:
nice profile picture, are you a corps member in kano?

No I live in Kano why?
Thanks for the bold

Kondomatic:
Do you know how many times they've thrashed it at home?


I have this feeling that he's tired of complaining and to be honest, it is really annoying. I once dated a sister who does that. Give her money for feeding and she will use it to buy shoes, she diverts a portion of her school fees sometimes and when I got tired of complaining, I stopped bailing her out..

But then, she's a girlfriend not a wife so I still blame this man for not helping and not allowing others to help, that's if the story is true.

No matter how many times he has been complaining, it doesn't justify his actions, I'm sure she was like that before he married her.
Or would you be surprised if your girlfriend keeps asking you for feeding money after you are married? No.

IamKashyBaby:


All i see in each photo is a man and woman facing each other and both smiling...

And a baby in the first picture, I didn't have to zoom to see it tho

The man handled the situation wrongly. What happened to getting home or a private place to trash the issue?
And this is what happens when your husband must pay for everything. Using the money he gave you to buy cream? So if the money wasn't given, she won't buy cream? Anyways, this may just be a joke