₦airaland Forum

Hiiiiii...
Also, alabonbon, motorcycle tyre n stick, police cap n arresting people, mama n papa play, bathing children who were taller, buying and selling play where money was sweet wraps and so on. Sweet memories

OP, thank u o. Very nice post.


Call for your supply of Funtuna table water if you are in Ilorin and environ. Check my signature

there was one i met in minna we spoke for few ours. mehn she was too open and friendly to me like i wasn't a stranger i was like if dis one no be angel na scam ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d.. funny enough she invited me to her house to see her mum just like that... days later when i was going to see her i gave my bro her number in case anything happens to me..lol ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d......[/quote]there was one i met in minna we spoke for few ours. mehn she was too open and friendly to me like i wasn't a stranger i was like if dis one no be angel na scam .. funny enough she invited me to her house to see her mum just like that... days later when i was going to see her i gave my bro her number in case anything happens to me..lol ......[/quote]It may be a loss or gain. Just like someone said, what will be your own will be your own. And to the other part of post, introducing one's male friends to the parents do not always have any ulterior motive. I did introduce my friends before marriage because I hated any hanky panky, i disliked rumours, I wanted my parents to trust me and as the first child, I wanted to teach my younger ones that it was OK to have platonic friends, nothing attached. So, your female friend could just be like that. Well, who knows

Good morning, good night. Just wanted to say 'thank u' for the thread. Do have a wonderful weekend ahead.

Congratulations

This happens virtually everyday in some of these big banks. No human face o.

LivingFree:
If you don't love and respect yourself, then you can never love and respect someone else. If you sleep around then you have no respect for yourself and your wellbeing. I don't think it's ever about the other person.

Thank u for this!

enabledgoddess:
I still think all those pregnancy craving that people claim they have is myth. And seeing pregnancy as an opportunity to eat is fallacious. I didn't feel any of those, I was still myself ,when is comes to eating. My problem then was excessive heat.

Pls don't say that. Some of us are lucky we didn't have such cravings, others went through a lot. I met a woman who just wanted to chew ice, another liked dust. Others would want all sort of strange foods. At the antenatal, I met a sister who was always chewing one type of fruit then. It is crazy, i tell u. May all mothers reap the fruits of their labour, us inclusive. Cheers

You try oo

Happy bornday lala

SUBHANALLAH!!! Why would u say that!!! Pls people should stop this!!! I served in Delta and I loved it there! And yes, I am a Muslim! I met a lot of Muslims and Asaba Igbos who even converted to Islam. You can be anywhere and be who you want to be and probably the best Muslim, masha Allah.
Do you want to tell me that there is a place in Nigeria that there is no fitnah? Ask me dear, I have lived in different part of the north and for over 20years! There are always the good and the bad. You just make your choice and live by it.
May we not be misguided after we have been guided to the right path, ameen.

Subhanallah! Delta would be one of the worst place for a Muslim to be. But there are still some Muslims in Delta, I still hope you are posted to that minute Saheeh part of Delta. keep praying! May Allah grant you steadfastness and increase your piety bro.[/quote]

babythug said it all. pls move on and forget him.

First of all, protect urself whenever he is around!
Now, bring out the best in u when he comes in terms of cooking, sex, appearance, etc.
If there is anything u do that annoys him, please try and stop. It will help.
Don't let him know u have been checking his phone, he will play smart and he will win.
At the best moments, always bring up the issue of how your being apart is affecting ur marriage, 'killing you' and so on. You know, bring it up like u really want to be with him and all that, like moving to where he is. In a nutshell, revive that old good loving all over. Calls, messages, chats, videos, pictures, name it! Play smarter ma.
Always give him what he will miss while u r apart. Trust me, the other lady does that.
Most importantly, be the prayer warrior in the house and fast dear.
Encourage him to pray with u and fast when he is at home and while praying with him, make sure u direct the power of God to destroy everything and everyone threatening your marriage, loud and clear.
If u can, save up real good, plan it and move in with him. It may help also.
All the best my sister.

There isn't anything to it. He only takes u as a son and doesn't want u to feel like a stranger in his house by visiting 'once in a while'. So feel free to visit and gist with the old man.
Your wife could also be his favorite child and has transferred that love to u.
He could just like u for who u are.
My dad is like that with my husband!

This is good but here is the thing...

1. A father's role is much more than paying school fees and other monetary things. He should join the mother and support her to train the kids. He definitely won't be around all the time, as you rightly said, but when he is around he should. This is an example as happened to me:

Daddy: (voice raised) is it not too early (past 11 am and I was through with my morning chores and it was a favorite program on a Saturday) to watch TV?

Me: I am through with my work

Daddy: and so? my friend, go and look for something to do.

By the following Saturday, my daddy added cleaning of the ceiling fan to my chores. Mind you this is with the constant, "do you know how to do this?" "do it this way" and so on. In all, I'm saying I learnt a lot from my dad.

2. Yes, manners, etiquettes and so on are our mothers' specialty but the fathers can also play a big role. Another example:

I was jus admitted into the uni and there was this this tight fitting style I got from a friend to sew. So I tried it on to show my mum and my father made sure he saw it on me. Yes he made sure because he was suppose to have finished his food and gone to his room but he stood there pretending to be picking his teeth. So reluctantly I entered the living room and he said, "there is a time in life when what you wear should give you personality and not the one that will make you look like one". Sharp sharp I returned the cloth. As a teenager, he never talked to me about my dressing and if he was disapproving this one it meant it was a wrong style.

What I am saying is the father must be present in his children's lives. These days, some mothers pay school fees and do all the things the men used to do. The world is no longer 'conservative' and in my opinion, raising and training the kids should not just be the mother's role. It should be a joint business.
All in all, the write up is good.

Assalamu alykum.
As a Muslim and with my little understanding, there are steps the husband must take before a divorce- which mostly is not advisable except very very necessary. However, for you to get to a stage where there is just pity for her then you need to fast and pray to Allah for guidance.
Now, how did things get to this level? If you are to blame for anything, retrace your steps. A critical mistake we make as Muslims is not being able to identify our individual and collective roles. Mothers inclusive. Don't get me wrong! Our mothers are everything, so also is the wife to her children and husband to a wife and vice versa. We must seek for knowledge to separate these things.
If our mothers are at fault on an issue, we should kindly and privately correct them, and so the wife. We commit the first offense when we take sides.
We also believe that our mothers can NEVER be wrong! Haba, they are humans fa. It will take a while for the two women/families to fully accept themselves except they are really sound Islamically. Now the husband has to be more sound and fair to deal with such issues
Most families have lived closely for decades. Do you think it is easy to bring in a stranger with a different upbringing and values? Be it the man or the woman, your strength and belief in yourselves, the marriage, family values, acceptance and the love you once shared will be tested and you may only pass if we all understand our individual and collective roles.
Please, don't be too blinded by the love you have for your extended family members to now forget your roles to your wife and vice versa. It only take a brave Muslim and a strong man to take responsibilities If you are wrong.
You must now call your wife and have a heart to heart talk with her. You should know her - weaknesses, strengths, likes and dislikes, level of Islamic knowledge, level of commitment to the marriage, family values and so on to know how to bring her to your side. Don't be selfish please.
Most importantly, pray and fast together. Let her hear you pray for all those beautiful things you want from Allah and let her do the same.
And finally, you are the man, make it work. All the best.
Assalamu alykum.

This is very educative, op. Thank you. You may need to add some cities in Nigeria for some who had stayed or still staying there, though the temperatures may not beat the coldest nor the hottest sha. Yola can get up to 46 degrees Celsius, I have experienced it! Last year, Zaria was very cold. I can remember now but it was 7 degrees or less. Vom, in plateau state can also get very cold. Now, that, for a black man, is something. Anyways, still appreciate the post. well done.

she should let the kids 'know' how she is training them sha o

Happy birthday to Bovi, his adorable daughter and me! May we live joyfully to witness an everlasting peace in our motherland.

Good points, OP.
In addition, most people take things tooooo serious. Guys originally having a fun, informal relationship, suddenly become formal and all business-like. I think we should try and enjoy ourselves more, irrespective of our environment and those factors that can make things difficult. Lastly, we should be READY before we say 'I do'. It is a different school from what we know and knew.

Well said.

I feel your pain o but look at it from here:
Did you marry him for the wrong reasons?
How well did you 'know' him before the marriage?
Were there warning signs?
Just as pDude asked," what did you do that made him seek comfort between the thighs of another woman?"
Please think deep. It is not right for whatever reason for a partner to cheat but if you contributed to it, you also need to make amends. Please stop hating him, you are only cheating yourself. When your heart is filled with love, you are happier. Do a lot of activities that give you joy. Be nice to him. It is not going to be easy but you have to try for your child's sake. Do not just pack and go. Do your best to make it work, well except you married him for the wrong reasons.
Lastly, pray for wisdom. You need it.

Olarewajub: Some of them do come for ante-natal why others are aborting.

Yes, they do now. But I meant before now. Good morning.

Teenage pregnancy is not new. Then, because of the stigma and all, you don't find them at ante natal hospitals. Now they don shine eyes! And we, all of us, are the cause!

I don't know why we are getting these things mixed up. Markets are for adults. One only needs to be extra careful about personal hygiene before touching the kids or other things in the house. Worship houses, for now, should be left for the adults. Coordinators of these centers should put in place preventive measures and educate the worshippers. Children should be left at home! A sincere private school teacher, who knows what is obtainable in these schools will never support that the kids should resume now. The proprietors are only concerned about their money. It is very wrong to say parents don't know what to do for their own children! That is ridiculous. What have we been doing for them these past weeks? What have parents been doing for their children forever? That the FG should provide hand sanitizers for them is another laughable idea. It also shows they can't take care of our children. Who told them that those would destroy the virus? They just don't want to spend a kobo for the training neither do they want to provide wash hand basins for each kid nor provide a adequate water. Can you imagine 30 pupils washing their hands in the same basin after break or one nanny who is probably not happy with her job washing their bomboms without washing her hands regularly and still helping with their feeding? Please we should take up our responsibilities and make our societies healthier. Government can't do it alone. And I am a private school teacher, a mother and I won't be paid!

Congratulations, baba ikoko

First of all, marriage in Africa is not between a man and a woman alone. If the lady in question has parents and family members, they should have returned the bride price earlier. To leave a daughter 'husbandless' for three years! Something must be wrong somewhere.
Secondly, base on the above, you should make your findings. You should not just accept things as she told you o. She is someone's WIFEY and you don't know the HUSBAND. Toh.
Lastly, if you have true feelings for her and you are sure she has same for you, there is nothing wrong if you 'see' her parents. Probably it is what they are waiting for that has delayed the returning of the BP. WHO WOULD WANT TO LEAVE A DAUGHTER HUSBANDLESSLY. But dear, if you aren't into her as such, a beg leave her o.

Thanks OP, this is just perfect timing. Was looking for coconut recipe yesterday and this!

Lack of exposure is worse!!! Illiteracy can pass for inability to read, write and speak good English or that the one referred to has not been to any formal school but such can still have a sort of informal education, has travelled, be in business and in constant contact with people of different class and origin and so be exposed. To lack exposure, ha, I don't know how to classify that! But when a literate is asked how many countries are there in Africa and he responded, " Ijebu, Ilorin, Lagos, Ibadan,etc", then you know it is a crime to lack exposure. I am not saying one must travel tipa tipa but the urge and effort to know is exposure itself.

@ op, if you mean covering wider areas like spending on unnecessary things and unworthy people, the bachelor spends more. The married are always planning and budgeting, so they don't always go on a spending spree. But if we want a balance and no attachments, then the married spend more since there is always always extra mouths to feed just as the noble ladies above pointed out

olahero: nah Tanker driver you be madam? abi you be Olosho ni?

Nooooo...
I am from Kwara
Bauchi-secondary nd uni
Delta-served
Abuja and Lagos-have relations,so holidays nd visits
Niger-in laws
And while serving, MCAN conventions and weddings and visits,eg. erin ijesha waterfall in osun and so on
I am living in Adamawa now. Do u get it now?

KWARA
OYO
OSUN
LAGOS
KOGI
EDO
DELTA
BAYELSA
ABUJA
NIGER
KANO
KADUNA
PLATEAU
KASTINA
BAUCHI
GOMBE
ADAMAWA
ANAMBRA
ABUJA
RIVERS
NASARAWA