₦airaland Forum

Keep smiling sir...
Congratulations on your anniversary

Madam/sirdam,
The problems in the world are enormous, you only know yours and I know mine.
Being selfish is only a human attribute. We should all bear our problems. If we get help, then fine.

Now, there's an argument of independence and entitlement. One school of thought says we don't owe anyone anything, including our parents. We did not ask to be born. The other says we are our parents' investments. We must give back. Which do you belong?

When we eventually die, it's only a matter of time, we would all be forgotten. It is a human attribute.

Back to my post: our problems are not going anywhere. We can only try, fix them and live. Or allow ourselves to be swept away. It's a choice, another human attribute.

Now to the loved and unloved ones, our mothers who bore all the pain, our fathers who eventually became weak, our siblings, also carrying their own crosses, the stingy rich uncles and aunties, the religious leaders with plenty skeletons in their cupboards, our town people who only come when things are rosy, the government executives who are only after what they will get, the stranger who doesn't know where the next meal will come from, the sick who isn't sure he will get well, to the student without admission, the graduate without job prospects...

Our problems are not going anywhere, and I am only suggesting that we try to do our best and be hopeful. If that is selfish, well, what do I know?

SirVamo:
You see the problem with y'all??

You are all just too selfish ..

Somebody is fighting for their life through depression and unexplainable pains,

But y'all are always concerned about how pained loved ones would be??

How many of the so called loved ones are even checking up on these suicidal peeps??

You have never been depressed in your life so it's easy to come on here and form motivational speaker...

See at that point thinking about a loved one is the last thing on the mind, you even feel you are doing the loved ones a favor by leaving this Earth.

Y'all should for once stop this selfish angle of saying think of your loved ones who will be alive...

Loved ones who would forget you and move on after months

It doesn't sir/ma. It spurs a circle of emotional pain, irreparable and irreplaceable loss. To the those who love you, those who would have benefited if you stayed a little longer and to who will look at you someday and say, 'thank you'

Squillaci:
How is suicide not an answer.
It ends the meaningless suffering.

Hello all!

Please, this story is not to deny the existence of the ills in the society or to downplay the seriousness of depression. Rather, I am sharing it to reach out to someone, to encourage, to tell you that whatever you are going through has always been there and will continue to be there.
The order of this world will forever be imbalanced, irrespective of our spiritual inclinations and beliefs, states and countries of residence, social statuses, ethnicities, levels of education and exposures. It is what it is! We should, therefore, brace up and live.

So, here it is:

His mother left him at the age of two for very strong and cogent reasons and his father died when he was in class three. The father was just a court clerk. In my place, it was known as 'cotu koro'. A local court where they settle land disputes and marriage issues. So, the father was a poor court clerk

He had no one until his father's younger brother, who rebelled against the family's instructions to join the force, came down and took him to the barracks. He lived from barrack to barrack and completed his primary and secondary education. He doesn't like to say much about his stay with his uncle. He always had utmost respect for him for liberating him and taking him out of abject poverty.

Well, after the secondary school, the uncle, now father, wanted him to help with his business. Somehow, he knew that the business would not thrive and also got to know that the uncle didn't want him to further his education. That time, in the early sixties, you had to go to school. He left his uncle and found himself a job. Yes, jobs were easy to get, you will say, but he didn't get it easy and he had to prove himself worthy of that opportunity. He laboured, suffered and saved every dime. He said he had only one strong shoe for work, a pair of trousers and a pair of shirts. He had to manage everything he had. From feeding to everything you can think of. He saved enough to proceed to the polytechnic and did his OND. I don't know what it was then.

After then, he went for his IT. He didn't come back. He continued to work to save for his HND. He didn't socialize much, he couldn't. He was one of the oldest students in the class, if not the oldest.

Along the way, realising age was no longer on his side, he got a girlfriend, went to her father, and told him, 'sir, I have no one and no money, but I love your daughter and I want to marry her.'' Tell me about a poor man with attitude and 'agidi' and I will point him out.

He had two children before he eventually served in the early eighties. Check it out, from the sixties to early eighties! He didn't give up! He toiled and laboured. His wife will also tell you how she had to cope. A rich man's daughter that had to marry a poor man. Funny and sound untrue, abi?

That is the story, as real as it can be! They have trained seven children to university level. They Even supported some to earn a second degree. All are married except the last born who is waiting to serve.

We can't have it all but we can make do with what we have. We should not be influenced by the lies of families and friends, and today, the lies from social media. We should be careful with the kinds of friend we make. The final lessons I got to learn from them are, we should not bite more than what we can chew and always have an open heart. Things will always fall in to place.

To whosoever is reading this, it is never too late. Things will always fall into place. Hang on, it is not over yet.

Amopeekun.

True or not, this is what I was trying to say when I said women should be careful when in courtship in one thread earlier. Some men are just wonderful. Others, not so.

In my hometown, years back, some men will pin the women down with introduction and what have you. The women will literally become 'housewives'. Some will even get pregnant and abort the babies because the men are not ready yet. Them, boom! He is no longer interested. God is watching.

In courtship, a woman can help with everything not just the house chores. Planning finances, managing the home and the likes. She will eventually go and live there, so why not.

The man should also help her out with everything, I mean, everything, including the house chores and her personal life. After all she is coming to live with him.

Having written the above, women should be very careful and watch their backs. They should refuse to be turned into house helps. They mustn't become desperados and all. This is why:

There was a time when men would come for introduction, become fiances and the women become automatic madams. They will begin to wash, clean, dust, cook and take care of the fiances' family just to be ditched later because they are outdated. It is sad really. We should just be careful and know our limits.

Well, you know your husband best...pray you get the solution you seek sis. It is well.

FinewineNg:
If I start Masturbation in his presence, it become worse.

He is interested in porn
And she is getting frustrated
He doesn't see anything wrong in depriving her
She can always start from somewhere to relieve herself and pass a message across.
He might understand. After all, she said it all started this January

RTSC:
He ejaculates quickly.
He does not lack interest in her. He cannot be hard long enough to satisfy her.

This is a health/mental issue, not a lack of interest.

With all you wrote up there, pls get your own stuff and do the do in his presence now.

Buy your s£x stuff and get into your birthday suit or some damn sexy looking lingerie and get down to business right there while he is on his own thing. He is your husband, so no shame. Anytime you feel like getting down and he is not interested, get into the wash room, pamper your body with some nice body oils and get down to business. Let him hear and know.

Abeg no let the kids hear or know o. All the best

Oh! I am o and proud to be one. Are you?

highbee02:
No, just noticed in your comment that u are from Ilorin

Any problem, sir?[quote author=highbee02 post=92463914][/quote]

I just love this

Is this real?
I watched a video clip by channels where the minister for education said unity schools won't resume and that waec should put its house in order. He said they were still at a meeting with other stakeholders when the news broke out that schools will resume on the 4th. He also appealed to state governments to reconsider reopening of schools. He particularly said unity schools will not open!
So, where is this coming from?

Up Gunners!!! This made my day

May Allah accept all our ibadah, amin

We should all get tested and if negative, get vaccinated. We will be doing our part. Those who test positive should go for the LIVER FUNCTION TEST AND THE VIRAL LOAD, if possible, to start treatment. May God heal our land.

You are right.

cooooooks:
He should stop those ridiculous threats.

However, we only have one side of the story.

I beg to differ. She is the problem?! A woman wants to increase her home through her spirituality and her prudent nature and you say she is the problem? Many men would want to marry such women to keep and manage their homes. Suddenly a divorce threat is a normal thing to cow women into submission. Haa! What won't we see in marriage? Abeg she is not the problem sir.
Someone knocks on my door to complain of hunger and i have enough to spare. Suddenly, i remember my husband will divorce me o of i help. So, i just kukuma cowed into my shell and refuse to help.

My sister, your marriage is still very young o. Communicate with him. Put him in prayers, follow some nice advice up there and help people as much as you can without fear, but don't overburden yourself sha. If he doesn't like to hear that you are helping people, zip your mouth, let God be the Judge. Sit him down, listen, understand his fears and work with him with all sincerity. May God be with you.

rhemauni:
U are the problem here

Discuss things with your husband before u do them, if u can't discuss it before then shut up and don't discuss them after u have done them since it will result to quarrell.

How is this hard to do?

Better give yourself some sense now

A wise woman will learn the husband and adjust accordingly using common sense to follow him.

Threatening u with divorce is nothing, that is the usual card a man plays to cow a woman to submission he doesn't mean it.

Op, one of the many reasons your brother took you in is to help him wash his clothes. Please respect yourself and do your chores whilst you eat free chicken.

Auntee Rita, is the picture up there yours or Martha's?

Back to the post
I strongly believe that a woman, no matter the circumstance, shouldn't leave her children in another woman's care if she is divorcing her husband. She should take her children along with her. If na pure water she go sell to cater for them, so be it! These children will grow up and appreciate her for the rest of their lives.

If she dies, the husband should take the children to their grandparents if he can't handle the stress. Most grandparents are warm and nice and unlikely to maltreat those children.

It is very advisable to do his best until the kids can atleast take care of themselves before introducing them to the harshness of life.

This is very wicked. The kids should be taken to their grandparents abeg.

Haa...

It's a phase, it will pass sir. This is the point things usually fall into place. Please don't give up

Arafatola:
I honestly wish I can talk to someone.

I'm at the verge of giving up...

Be the most sincere best version of yourself and don't be apologetic about it. Be very respectful, people will remember you for that.
In relationships, love sincerely but with your head, watch out for the toxic signs.
If you are religious, trust God and be very prayerful.
Help people in ways that will not be a burden on you. It will come back to you.
Invest in yourself and trust in your abilities.
Peace.

Your woman wants a family kinda traditional wedding and you want your guys to show!!
All the best!

There are no rules! Don't worry yourself and don't overplan. Be your nicest self, simple! Most importantly, make your partner your best friend, your gist partner, your partner in 'crime', your gossip partner, your play mate, etc.

Respect yourselves, watch out for the moods, keep quiet when there is the nag, laugh at the most boring jokes, laugh more when the jokes are funny and so on.

Do not always claim boss! What I mean is that there is no more the ME ALONE. You have yourselves, work as a team, no nonsense secrets upandan, lol. I am not saying you shouldn't be classy about stuffs but your first point of reference is your partner. Treat eachother's families and friends with respect.

Do the dirty and children's stuffs and laugh about them- fart, belch, twerk, tickles, dance, jump, tell funny childhood stories, the pranks, chai, anything. No boundaries!

Now, if you are newly married, each partner is still trying to wake up from a dream, trying to figure out things, working hard not to make mistakes and so on. These things may take long and they may be over in a jiffy. It depends on how matured you guys are. You will get angry easily, be moody, be lonely, wishing for nonsense and ingredient but it is just a phase, it will pass. Be ready!

Like I said at the beginning, be your nicest self.

Did you marry a friend?

I pray for everyone in this situation to heal. It is a disease, really. Most importantly, it will be beautiful to respect our wives and be nice to them. This menace is killing the family values and system.

God, please help us o

Wow! I actually read the whole thing! May God be with you and the baby. God bless everyone who helped

True, it is scary o

May God give you the strength dear. So sorry for the loss

What sizes do you have? How many pieces per pack?

Amen sis.

Bola146:
God bless my mother, my mother inlaw in future and best mother I'm going to be by God's grace