Now I understand.

MrBrownJay1:


no, there is no woman in my life... i was born out of a goat and all my children were also born out of goats.

Any woman in your life?

MrBrownJay1:


ARRANT NONSENSE!!!!!
giving birth is actually very easy to do, and the amount of people with complicated pregnancies around the world is less than 10%. you dont even need a state of the art facility to give birth, thats why majority of people in villages and remote places can easily give birth without going to a hospital OR BETTER YET, thats why many women give birth (by themselves) to unwanted children and can throw the healthy baby away undetected.

Private schools are business centers. A principal once said this in a school's PTA meeting. Since then, I knew the onus is on us parents to teach our children the right things. They don't care sef if your child is not picking anything in class, just bring school fees. If they have few students who are brilliant from home to go for competitions and pass external examinations, shikena. OYO for you o, the below average students.

The teachers can also go to hell o. Shebi, they can always get people on the street to come and teach. O pari.

And, the parents scatter everywhere. They tell you they are paying your salaries. They bring big big cars that the teachers can only dream of and disrespect the teachers in the school and at home whilst the kids watch. The kids even eventually understand that their teachers are poor and are only holding on to the job by a thin thread.

It is really sad.

No one is saying don't flaunt what you have but the schools need to upgrade their teachers in all ways - salary wise and, etc. After all, they are milking the parents dry.

Be it Nigeria o or South Africa, this is a huge slap on the faces of all the stakeholders who have not been doing things right in the lives of these children.

Imagine!

Hi

Racoon:
Aunty Nkem just like Frank Olize Newsline show were weekend delights. I think there were times the late Uncle Jimi Solanke( of blessed memory) also handled the Tales by Moonlight show. Say hi if this show also spiced up your childhood. Mods let the indomie generation learn something.

Aamin.

Eid Mubarak in advance

dominique:
I had a feeling Ramadan would be 30 this year. God will give us strength to fast the remaining one, my children don tire fa! Eid Mubarak in advance!

I hardly ask too o. I don't know where I picked it from. I greet, pray and move on.

When you experience delivery, you will appreciate any gender.

It is well.

Cruise777:
My mum thought me something, she doesn't ask the gender of a newly born from their parents

She believes every gender is a child that can bring glory to the family

So I simply say eku ewu Omo, and move on

I pass.
Good day!

simfrost90210:


Nooooooooooooooooo... Haba!
😏😏😏😏Me, ......... vex for you, Noo nah!
I just dey pass, see alomo, come buy dey drink!

Na shaku shaku tinz dey load 4my head oo🤣

You don vex?

simfrost90210:




😏😏😏you for ask Google nah

Thanks

thatigboman:
it was a deflection. Martinelli shot

Who scores?

She has a true heart.

I have read here on nairaland where a lady claimed she was the second girlfriend and painted the wife as a girlfriend who didn't care for the man in question. She sought advice on how to win him and all.

For the op to do this, the family must be on her case and it can be very frustrating when you don't have anywhere to turn.

Jovialjune1:
To the Op, why do you still entertain his calls or any communication with him? [b]Why will you even come here to seek advice on a married man in the first place? [/b]This is an open and close case, tell him straight up that you will never have anything to do his sorry aśs anymore then delete his number, firmly tell your family you will be the one to choose who you will spend the rest of your life with, not them.

Op, if you are not comfortable with the red flags, please don't go into something that you will live to regret. Come to think of it, he has already lied that he was a doctor when he is isn't. My sister, RUN!

A man that talks down on his wife is a no no for me. He will definitely do same to you, it's a matter of time. It is better that he is showing this side of him now, the pretender is worse.

Work on yourself, remain open to a better future and pray. The best is yet to come. Cheers

Bless you fa. I kept reading and reading and my head just dey spin. Like, my first time of wanting to shake the op to faint!

Kobojunkie:
Clearly, it ain't trivial to OP as he has been pretending to be a husband for some time now. Why would you wish for him to continue that charade any longer? Only so the woman can continue to wear her Mrs. badge or something? She spent 13 years of her life catering to a man who does not seem to have deeper feelings for her more like she has been forcing herself on him all the while. The man is ready to move on, so why force him to stay for her sake?

Ha! E tire me o! And people are still saying 'deprive her', 'deprive her'. She was a virgin fa. No experience before marriage and he wants to kill her . 1 hour of digging! I can only imagine the pain! Now that she wants to live long long for her children, OGA wants to be free.

Be free o, OGA. But treat her well as you do. Lobatan!

Leilami:


Hainest!!! Oga

5 times a week? 😳
Are you a lion? I was just reading and scrolling until I got to this part and I decided to log in and comment. 5times a week for the past 10 years and you don't think you are the problem? Divorce her and remarry and believe it even the next one will run away because of too much sex. Are you addicted to sex or you don't have a hobby to distract you? Maybe you should turn one of your rooms into a mini gym and exhaust your energy because you need it. Chai!!

Op, Sanu.

100k a month in Abuja! This time!

She keeps the house squeaky clean! Everyday?!

She cooks! Does the laundry! Take care of kids and all!

She doesn't have parents. Guess she doesn't have friends either. You are her best friend.

From your post, you dictate everything in the house, to places you visit with the family. She doesn't have a say!

2hours of intimacy but 1 hour of penetration and pounding! Ha! Morning! Night! 4times a week!!!!

WHEN YOU FINALLY DIVORCE HER, YOU WILL JUST GIVE HER A MONTH TO FIX HERSELF UP. (AS A MUSLIM! REALLY?!!!)

BUT YOU CLAIM TO LOVE HER. SHE IS EVERYMAN'S DREAM YET YOU WANT TO BE ALONE AND FREE. Hmm...

Free to do what? What do you intend to do with your kids? Oh! You, alone, have the 'perfect' plan for them. Once their mummy is out of the equation, you will provide the best plan for them. Interesting.

Ya Allah! Please provide for our children spouses who will respect their minds, bodies and views. Spouses who will be considerate, loving and understanding. Spouses who will allow our children to express themselves, explore their innate strengths and abilities and spouses who will support our children to fulfill their purposes in life, aamin.

Thank you, op, for giving us another direction of prayers 🙏

3 ni o, then 4

Thank you @naptu for this and always. This is nostalgic. Big smile for you my brother

Malcom Omirhobo wants to trend. He wan use our emir to shine. Business must be dull these days.

I also paid close to nothing for my tertiary education. Infact, I didn't pay a dime for my secondary education. Everything was paid for by the government including my uniform, house wear, mattress, bucket, cutlery, name it!

Transport to and fro school was taken care of by government. Feeding inclusive. Infact, they paid me local government transport fare when I got back from school. Government tried and is still trying. A lot of us benefitted from her. I will forever be grateful.

Whatever downside, I saw as part of growing up and has helped to shape my personality.

Someday, I will also like to give back. I think we all owe her something, no matter how small. If you feel you don't, pray for her.

I made enemies when I said something similar - subsidizing tertiary institutions will ruin the educational sector. They said I had the money to pay. How? Where? If we can only be sincere to open up ways to ease payments for students, everyone will go to school and the private schooling shakabula will pipe down. We just need to be sincere with everything. Kai, Nigeria!

Angelfrost:


I have said it on past threads that Education can no longer and should no longer be subsidized, especially tertiary education!

It's more than enough to get subsidized primary and secondary education, but demanding almost free university education is unrealistic!

Accept my condolences. God be with you

May God be with you my sister. Please enough with child bearing o. I pray you pass through this phase with ease.

Take time to rest in between feedings and occupy your mind with ideas of what you intend to do to feed and train your angels. You can write these things down. It helps.

God be with you

You took the words right out of my mouth!

Imagine fa, over 20,000 universities!

Anyways, I am not surprised, some of us are never grateful for anything. It's a pity, really.

mofedamijo:
Some nicompoop are already complaining up there. You know why Nigeria has been stagnant? Because we don't celebrate the small wins then aspire from there.

20,000 universities were ranked from all countries around the world. Nigeria made it ti the list of 2,000 globally ranked universities and made it to 1,164, yet someone up there who probably doesn't even have a high school certificate is complaining.

Imagine Nigerian universities receiving the necessary support and funding, I am sure they will make it to to first 200.

Despite the strikes, underfunding, lack of equipments and resources, they still made the list.

So many American, Canadian, and British universities didn't make the list. I think they have done well considering the circumstances.

Better soup na money kill am!

You need to pick up the right and best ingredients, you need to dedicate time, you need patience, you need love, you need sweat, you need expertise, everything good to make the soup if you want the best!

When the husband (leader) gives you the right amount of money, the wife (follower) must put it to good use. Not to do daily contribution!

When, the husband doesn't give enough, make the soup the money will be enough to make, but make a best version of it and not do adashe with half of it.

When this happens, we will get the Nigeria we all dream of.

Someone mentioned earlier that leaders don't fall from the skies. We are all blinded along religious and ethnic lines and we tend not to see anything good in what others are doing even when they mean well. Hmm...

That's even too far...

Try and make money and make an attempt to rebuild your family house and see...

What do you mean by, "if we can't tolerate...?"

There's a level to which everything and everyone can permit and allow. Because we are one country does not mean we should not respect ourselves, our neighbors and hosts wherever we find ourselves.

I understand that there are different laws in different states of USA (I may be wrong though). This means once you leave your comfort zone, you have to respect me as your new host. Is it not the same America again?

Haha!
Respect people's way of life and their beliefs. I don't think it is that difficult now. Live in peace with them and prosper too!

'WE DO NOT PEE IN OUR TROUSERS AROUND HERE, IT IS TABOO', written boldly as you enter a new place. If you do where you are coming, respect yourself, respect your host and pee accordingly. Once you go back home, you can pee anywhere.

Should we break up the whole country because you DON'T WANT TO RESPECT YOURSELF?

HAHA!

JohnBullMySon:
I'm not an obi supporter. All I said applies to ibos too.

If we can't tolerate in this country then we need to separate cos we ain't doing ourselves any good.

This is correct @op. Nothing do you o...
Once I am able to dissect the problem in my head, narrate the solutions to myself, I feel better.

I discuss with me a lot. I am my best friend. It was weird to my people before but they know now.

My own worse sef. But it has helped greatly in many situations. It makes think hard and we'll.

All the best

Kobojunkie:
1. It is actually a healthy way of dealing with stress for many people out there. Some folks, rather than bottle things up, engage themselves in dialogue in order to resolve whatever knots are building up in their minds. It works too.

2. It isn't how she is wired. Instead, it is her method for resolving daily mental stresses and issues in her situation and life. Very intelligent people have been observed to do that quite regularly too.

[Help me tell her o...quote author=Saintmary post=121140869]


1. He needs a maid for cooking and cleaning
2. He needs a nanny for his kids
3. He needs constant available sex


I hope you know he doesn't love you.



As a single mom of 4, you're assumed to be:

1. Lonely
2. Easy target
3. Weak
4. Financially constrained


Only you know your situation, and if your instincts say to run, trust it.



On the other hand, if you can cope with:

1. Underappreciation. You will never measure up to the late first wife in his eyes

2. Conflicts with his kids, you can never replace their mother

3. Loveless relationship. It will take many years before even he will deeply accept you, let alone his kids, family and friends.

4. Financial issues. You will end up sharing your income, with little or nothing left. You will be made to remember every penny spent on your kids. Do you even know if they'll be allowed to stay with you?


Look, there are so many things to consider, just do your thinking very hard.

At the end of the day, only you will bear whatever happens.


Good luck.


P. S. Lest I forget, at 57, erectile dysfunction is real o, he'll soon be 60, are you ready to cope with that?


At 35 you are near your sexual peak if not for heavy responsibilities distracting you, how will you cope with an elderly partner, sexual satisfaction is a very important factor for marital success.


I wish you all the best. [/quote]

Please madam, take care of your children if you can. God will help you. When they are all grown up and can take care of themselves bravely, you can do whatever.

You owe them the security, love and balance. And sincerely, the widower may not fill the fatherly vacuum in their lives.

Your kids are still young, they need support and balance. A 57 yr old addition to the crew on ground may wear you out on time o. Think about it!

Lastly, I don't know how well you think you know this man, but taking a 10yr old daughter to another man's house is a bigggg NO for me.

Think it through thoroughly. All the best.

Vyvyanvyvy:
Hello guys , I am a 36 years old single mother of four my son will be 15 in aug, first daughter 10 in october, my third 5 and youngest 3 by june. I have separated from my husband because he didn't want my son to come and lives with us , I have been taking care of them singlehandedly for 3 years. I have been friend with this man a widower who is 57 years and a father of 2 children, he is asking for my hand in marriage, to be honest I don't want to be married again, all i want is to focus on raising my kids because I have been through a lot in my previous marriage and I don't want another marriage wahala. He ask for my hand in marriage I rejected him and I had explained to him why I don't want to marry again I told him what my ex did , he said he is a mature man he will love me and my children and he will never hate them or ask them to leave his house . I told him I have to think about it and I will get back to him ASAP . But I am still scared to accept his proposal because I don't want history to repeat itself and he is still on my neck he want me to accept his proposal. I am confuse Please advice me is it a wise choice for me to get married again after everything I have been through in the past?

Very true!

Klass99:


I think women feel this way more than men do, because we have been mostly sold a pipe dream (as women) that marriage and kids bring joy and fufilment. And without these things we will be forever doomed, unhappy and unfulfilled.

So, what do most of us do? We actively pursue this dream or mirage of bliss and fulfilment only to get it, then realize, we are not bursting with joy, we are not happy or fulfilled, like we were told we would be.

Then we want out, but we are afraid of what people will say, the stigma of divorce or being called a bad mother who cannot endure for the sake of her children.

God bless you in abundance

jumper524:
The moment you have a different opinion, these set of individuals begins to bring in your family history and measure your success.

Has Peter asked himself why the previous leaders failed?
You think they don't have good plans or better policy to implement?
When fella kuto tells you Nigerians are their own problems. He's not sugar quoting his words.
Everyday on TV and radio stations, they keep talking about how bad leadership is the problem of Nigeria nobody is talking about bad followership.
Let me give you a good example.

MY secondary school GSSkuje is a govt school with Ssubsidized school fees.
As at 2011 during my ss2 days, we paid 12k as school fees for boarding. We were fed at least an average size of meal 3times daily. In some situation, there's are excess of food and we go for double ration. In very rare occasion food doesn't reach everybody. It can happen atmost 5times a term.
As at then we were 44 in class (commercial class), while A class which is science had the most 55.
Learning was easier and effective.
Last year I visited the school and its been divided into 2 sessions.
Morning and evening. The science class had about 100students. Learning is now more difficulty.
Ask yourself why is it like this?

The school fees is less than 15k. More classes has been built compared to when I was there.
But now the school is a shadow of it former self.
If my father who had three boys and pays his task sent two of his three children to a Ssubsidized govt school, is it fair with mr Bongo (name was modified not to offend anyone) who has 17 children and manages to send 9 to the sane govt school.

Subsidy that's meant for us all. Only 1 man sent 9 children to benefit from.

If nobody talks about our ever increasing population with this our hate attitude of improving our personal productivity we would never get anywhere.
Politicians would only try no matter how Good they are but it'll end in shabbles.

In the 90s there were less amount of Lea schools but then education was effective.
Our leaders have increased the number of schools compared to the 90s but education is very ineffective.
The leaders have fulfilled their campaign promises of building more schools but has the masses fulfilled its?
Nigeria ain't China and we don't have as much brains as China, we better cut our coat to our sizes.

Op, thank you for this post fa. It's been years and I just came across it today. So we have something like this and some myopic beings still see a single mother as irresponsible and all...o ma se o.

What the eyes have seen, the mouth can not talk!

I pray every man out there sees this and make effort to connect and reconnect with his kids no matter what.

Make no be say, after dem grow finish, you come dey beg upandan. And the unwise entities around will start blaming the woman of poisoning the minds of the kids.
Please stay put for one place and raise your families as you should. These kids are watching and they are seeing their mothers' silent tears...

Thank you op.

I am just proud to be a part of this family...
Thank you Seun!

Good luck to all!