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ArchangeLucifer's Posts

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Celebrities / Re: Checkout Hushpuppi's Birthday Cake By Fendi [photos] by ArchangeLucifer: 1:43pm On Oct 12, 2018
It's a pity that the Hushpuppi cake version looks more responsible than the flesh version.

*spits angry
Crime / Re: Man Gets Home To Find His Bathtub Stolen. See What He Said (Photo) by ArchangeLucifer: 1:41pm On Oct 12, 2018
Congrats sir!!

Now he has a grave in his house. grin

Oh what wouldn't I give?
Celebrities / Re: International Girl Child Day: Ijeoma Chikezie Speaks At World Bank Program by ArchangeLucifer: 1:37pm On Oct 12, 2018
*spits angry


I can't join in this sort of celebration.

The female child is a product of weak sperm.

Every healthy man is supposed to produce boys as proof of his virility.

1 Like

Celebrities / Re: Davido's Boys Beat Taxify Driver To Stupor, Broke His Bones by ArchangeLucifer: 1:33pm On Oct 12, 2018
Is that the shape of his skull or did Davido's boys also redesign his head?

What kind of jaw bone is that nitori olohun?!

This skull does not fall into either conehead or Igbo category.

NCAN hereby rejects this strange skull & warns its members from associating with it.

Signed,
National Leader.

1 Like 1 Share

Travel / Re: Lady And Her Friend Unscathed After Their Car Somersaulted Severally (pictures) by ArchangeLucifer: 1:16pm On Oct 12, 2018
AutoJoshNG:
This car hit the side of the road, went up in the air and somersaulted over four times.



Wow. shocked

I just need to know something. Who did the counting?

She or her friend?

10 Likes 1 Share

Romance / Re: Lovely Pre-wedding Photos Of A Police Officer & His Wife-to-be by ArchangeLucifer: 1:12pm On Oct 12, 2018
In this old age this woman is a wife-to-be?? shocked

Just negodu the wrinkles on her ewedu face that even makeup & photoshop edits cannot hide now imagine how she looks in the physical.

God must have created this woman on the eighth day.

*spits angry
Education / Re: See What An Examination Hall Looks Like Pakistan by ArchangeLucifer: 12:23am On Oct 12, 2018
Wow. Refreshment to reduce the mental strain. shocked

In Nigeria, policemen will be patrolling outside your hall window with AK47 yet people wonder why you scored E.

*spits angry

4 Likes 1 Share

Romance / Re: What Would You Do? by ArchangeLucifer: 11:18pm On Oct 11, 2018
Flickzvill:
What would you do if your fiancée opens up that she is older than you? Will you still go ahead to wife her?


Happened to me once.

I didn't get angry. Nah. Not me. grin

I just kept fvcking her till she realised I had no plans for her & left.

I didn't treat her that way because she's older than I am, I did it because if she can lie about her age for that long, then she can lie about the paternity of our kid for years too.

1 Like

Politics / Re: What Kind Of Army General Fails All His Military Exams by ArchangeLucifer: 11:13pm On Oct 11, 2018
A lifeless & incompetent one!

24 Likes 2 Shares

Education / Re: Please Nairalanders Help Me Out Of This by ArchangeLucifer: 11:11pm On Oct 11, 2018
blackfish:
good evening everyone. i am writing this post with a sad heart because i know i should not be doing this in the first place
i am a student that bought an android phone since 2015 and unfortunately it got spoilt recently. at the moment i am phoneless and i had to lend a phone just to create this thread
i have sought for all means to get a new phone but i could only save 5k due to unavoidable cost incurred. lack of phone has affected me greatly academically due to inability to access my e-notes
please i want to appeal to all nairalanders to come to my aid. i am frustrated and sad
please i need an android phone or the sum of money that can aid me to buy one
i saw that this platform bring relief to the needy that is why i brought it here. please have mercy on me. thank you

HungerBad and other helpful-nairalanders. ejo wo edakun
thank you all

please you can drop your replies, i will read it when i log in back because the owner of the phone i borrowed to type this is about to collect his phone


When you return, you'll find out this post has been taken down.

So phone that is meant to distract your academics is what you claim will make you study harder? grin

E-note kor, E-money ni. angry

Thief.

1 Like

Travel / Re: £200million Superyacht That Turns Invisible To Anyone More Than 50 Metres Away by ArchangeLucifer: 10:42pm On Oct 11, 2018
Here are my observations:

1. The sharp diagonal edges of this yacht are a tell-tale sign that it comes equipped with stealth capabilities (a reduced heat signature on a radar monitor). This is good for a military vessel but a huge disadvantage for a civilian one as neighbouring ships should know exactly what type & size it is to avoid a catastrophe.


2. The glass body that renders it almost invisible at 50 metres is also bad for a vessel that will house civilians.
Most large ships take over 50 metres to come to a full stop so in the event of a potential collision, it will be nearly impossible to prevent disaster as the captain might not see this yacht on time to avert it.

NB: Most large ships take around 5 miles to stop = about 15 minutes @ a speed of 33 knots.

Add this to the reduced radar signature I stated earlier (which might reduce this ship's size to a fishing boat's on a monitor), this yacht might just be a disaster waiting to happen.


Take the deadly collision of US destroyer USS McCain (with all its advanced equipments & systems) & that Singaporean oil tanker earlier this year as an example.

15 Likes 4 Shares

Autos / Re: This Lotus Elise Sportcar Was Totaled Becos Of A Scratch On Its Front Bumper by ArchangeLucifer: 9:10pm On Oct 11, 2018
But Buhari's brain is damaged beyond repair yet he's allowed to rule Nigeria.

*spits angry
Romance / Re: Do You Like My Profile Photo? by ArchangeLucifer: 9:03pm On Oct 11, 2018
mamagee3:
Do You Like My Profile Photo?

“Like” my profile photo if you like my profile photo.


You look like the illegitimate love child of a hippopotamus / warthog crossbreed and a goitre sufferer.

I advise you to ingest two teaspoons of salt daily to avoid spending all your savings on surgery later.

You'll need all of it after obesity-induced diabetes has forced you to amputate all your limbs.

*spits angry
Crime / Re: A Woman Caught Having Sex With A Mad Man In Broad Daylight by ArchangeLucifer: 8:53pm On Oct 11, 2018
This is not money rituals abeg!

This is pure konji.

Feminists cannot get preeq from a normal man so they don't mind sucking a mad man's preeq just to satisfy their urge.

This same fate awaits pocohantas.

They say we are useless to them yet they will do anything just to get our preeqs.

8 Likes

Career / Re: How Much Can One Earn As "Production Assistant" In A Media House? by ArchangeLucifer: 8:51pm On Oct 11, 2018
N40,000 if you are willing to 'drop'.

What were you thinking? Na cable & camera you wan go hold for Oga soo.
For your mind, you landed a good job so you brought it here abi?

Just negodu the type of salary Nairaland feminists are struggling to get yet they have the nerve to call men "broke".

angry *spits
Romance / Re: So Creative & Romantic - See How A Woman Qualifies Her Hubby by ArchangeLucifer: 8:47pm On Oct 11, 2018
FKMagazine:
MY UNION BANK, big, strong and everly reliable.

Celebrities / Re: Gentle Jack Celebrates His Birthday Today. See His Throwback & Now Photos by ArchangeLucifer: 8:45pm On Oct 11, 2018
I'm sad because one slap from this man and Seun will hand over all our login details.

369 Likes 13 Shares

Romance / Re: Man Searches For A Wife On Twitter. States The Attributes. See Reactions (Photo) by ArchangeLucifer: 8:40pm On Oct 11, 2018
He must be looking for a 6th wife.

Average age for first marriage in Ab0kiland is 15 for boys & 9 for girls.

The 25 year old he is seeking is more or less a grandma over there.
His mom will definitely reject any evening newspaper so what's the point?

*spits angry

60 Likes 3 Shares

Phone/Internet Market / Re: 2 Months Used Samsung Galaxy S9 For Sale by ArchangeLucifer: 8:36pm On Oct 11, 2018
leslieu63:
Very neat Samsung Galaxy S9 is available for sale just 2 months old bought at slot with complete accessories and receipt with 22 months Samsung warranty Working perfectly well no scratch, crack or any fault. 64gb ROM,4gb ram with finger print, face detection and Iris scanner water resistant . it comes. with warranty.
interested buyers should contact me asap.
PRICE: 165k Slightly negotiable
SWAP: No
DELIVERY: Yes
LOCATION: Benin
TEL: 08112908073
call or WhatsApp if interested



Stolen.

1 Like

Music/Radio / Re: Thread For Lovers Of Congolese Music (Rumba & Soukous) by ArchangeLucifer: 8:28pm On Oct 11, 2018
Sweetguy25:
[s]Like most Nigerians, the first time I heard any soukous music was when Awilo Longomba released his Coupe Bibamba album in 1998. [/s]


Wrong.

First time I heard Soukous music was when my Mum was yelling it at the top of her voice and my Dad was making grunting sounds to compliment hers behind closed doors one night.

This rendition lasted about 25 mins during which I couldn't take it no more & whipped out my vaseline jelly, dumped a generous amount in a hole on my mattress & humped it till I passed out.

A honourable tradition I have continued till this day.
Music/Radio / Re: Thread For Lovers Of Congolese Music (Rumba & Soukous) by ArchangeLucifer: 8:23pm On Oct 11, 2018
I love Congo music videos grin grin
Romance / Re: Body Count by ArchangeLucifer: 8:22pm On Oct 11, 2018
amakadihot87:
What's your body count........for those who don't understand........how many babes have you climbed? ....how many dudes have climbed you ...,.......mine should be ...500


Can we include masturbation?
Celebrities / Re: 'Impregnated A Lady' - Davido To Sue The Cable Over 'Breakup With Chioma' Report by ArchangeLucifer: 8:21pm On Oct 11, 2018
Rityonyi:
Too much love...

he just sued someone for fake
news on his relationship with his girlfriend what happens when he is legally married to her?


Your fishbrain is in God Mode.

29 Likes 1 Share

Family / Re: International Day Of The Girl Child: Share Amazing Things Your Daughter Has Done by ArchangeLucifer: 7:37pm On Oct 11, 2018
harrisonokonkwo:


I would have laid curse on you but just for one thing....one thing alone!

Preeq.
Crime / Re: Boy Butchered For Money Rituals by ArchangeLucifer: 7:05pm On Oct 11, 2018
The suspects were

1. Mrs. Folade Folake,

2. Mary Iwinkunle, 30 and

3. Gbenga Fadele



grin grin

[img]https://media1./images/ad33ae8fb64a3f35bba626c1523f3371/tenor.gif?itemid=4790188[/img]
Family / Re: International Day Of The Girl Child: Share Amazing Things Your Daughter Has Done by ArchangeLucifer: 6:19pm On Oct 11, 2018
Some menopaused evening newspapers that might never have kids are prowling this thread right now...
Family / Re: International Day Of The Girl Child: Share Amazing Things Your Daughter Has Done by ArchangeLucifer: 6:16pm On Oct 11, 2018
kolafolabi:
Like seriously, my daughter came back from school and said " Daddy, stop drinking beer, whoever drinks beer will go to hell fire. I asked her who told her, she said her teacher. I felt like an Angel was talking to me.

Since that time, I have stopped drinking beer.

5 Likes

Crime / Re: I Made N1.2m Posing As Fake Policeman – Welder by ArchangeLucifer: 5:38pm On Oct 11, 2018
Science/Technology / Re: Moon Meteorite Found In Africa & To Be Auctioned In Us(photos) by ArchangeLucifer: 5:34pm On Oct 11, 2018
Shelloween:
Wow.

But God, why didn't this one mistakenly fall for my compound? Abi my forefathers juju no gree?


Even if it did, would you have recognized it as moonstone?

Abi you go don use am stone lizard since 1999... grin grin

1 Like 1 Share

Science/Technology / Re: Moon Meteorite Found In Africa & To Be Auctioned In Us(photos) by ArchangeLucifer: 5:25pm On Oct 11, 2018
If it doesn't light up in the dark then it's fake. angry

How are we sure it's not the same rock Oduduwa shattered his conehead on when he was thrown out of Heaven for trying to mine an angel's skull?

*spits angry

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