₦airaland Forum

Guess you can start a new thread with the topic.

Need some contributions, what do you think?

1. Why do men keep concubines/mistresses?
2. Is it possible for these men to eat their cake and have it?
3. Does this usually lead to polygamy?
4. Are children born out of concubinage recognised by law?


If you have facts (constitutional sections, actual law cases etc), please state.

I was slightly taken aback when I read some of the replies to this thread. Comon people, that you took someone to a place where the person ordered for a Moet doesnt necessarily means that the place is expensive. Like some people rightly said, Moet is not so costly that you can only get it in expensive places. Its sad the way some ladies behave, the fact that a guy tells or shows you that he's Bill Gates doesnt mean you show wreck Microsoft on the first date. This reminds me of those babes way back in the university days in Naija, you take them out to a fast food restaurant and when they are done eating breakfast and lunch at the same time, they will buy takeaways for dinners and for their friends too. This is not a matter of the guy not being able to take care of the expenses but some girls are just being down right greedy. Maybe she had been hearing of Moet and wanted to use the opportunity to taste it, who knows? Some ladies complain that guys take them for granted, why wont they when you present yourselves as gluttons.

@Poster, before you let the girl go, collect your ounce of Moet in kind. She went for Moet because she thinks you are after what is between her legs. You can as well enjoy the thing.

segct2:
I don tire for this girl, don do lot of thins to scare her away bt she refuses(she don ton ete o!).The worst thin that happened was that i happened to slap her recently bt she never care still hanging on me.But she's got a lot of toasters, why me why me!!!The relationship was meant to be casual bt she dey take it too serious.Wht kinda girl is this? OR wht can i do to put her off?
Share ya views.

Ever heard of the Witness Protection Program, use the same idea. Change everything about you!!! You wan chop, clean mouth. GOD don catch you.

NINE WORDS WOMEN  USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut  up.

(2) Five  Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you  have just been given five more minutes to watch  the game before helping around the  house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means  something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go  Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud  Sigh: This  is actually a word, but is a non-verbal  statement often misunderstood by men. A loud  sigh means she thinks you are A SlowPoke and  wonders why she is wasting her time standing  here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer  back to # 3 for the meaning of  nothing.)

(6) That's  Okay: This  is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants  to think long and hard before deciding how and  when you will pay for your  mistake.

(7) Thanks: A  woman is thanking you, do not question, or  faint. Just say you're welcome. ( I want to add  in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is  not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're  welcome' . That will bring on a  'whatever').

(8 ) Whatever: Is  a woman's way of  saying GET LOST!

(9) Don't  worry about it, I got  it: Another  dangerous statement, meaning this is something  that a woman has told a man to do several times,  but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the  woman's response refer to # 3.

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes, Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever'.

( Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying GET LOST!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes, Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever'.

( Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying GET LOST!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes, Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

( Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying GET LOST!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Gabry:
Are u serious? I have alot of girlfriends whom are not naggers naaa

Do you expect them to nag to you? Go ask their bfs. The annoying part is when you think about what they nag about and the fact they think they are complaining and not nagging.

Like I have said before, this is one of those pple that just felt like posting a thread and they just write something.

@Poster,
Take a breather, step back and read what you wrote again. Does the question you asked makes sense to you? Really, get a life.
Ode, oponu sowe nu, omugo, alakori, alainironu.

Poster,
Let me ask, is your problem the fact that he asked for money OR the reason for asking for the money.

Apparently, when some ladies catch their bf "cheating", if the guys take them on holiday or buys some expensive stuffs for them, they tend to forgive.

Because the guy decide to ask instead of waiting for you to use your initiatives, you had to take him to the people's court for judgement.

Comonnnnnn!!!!!!!! You want him to kidnap you for ransom before you pay up, ehn?

I will advise all to just ignore the poster.

Guess hes one of the pple that just heard of nairaland and what to feel among by posting a thread. Oniranu omo, Ode, Oponu.

MRbrownJAY:
i will talk about the "real world" because in 9ja women are so materialistic that we would first have to define prostitute.
ok first let me say that there are prostitutes AND prostitues. if you talk about the street corner crackhead who sell her toto to get a fix then this one will be dead and gone in a few yrs so we shouldnt even talk about her but then i can point out to you some of the high class hookers that are just stunning and unless they would tell you, you wouldnt even think that they were doint this. believe me, any girl who gets paid +1000$ per shag, will only mess 2/3 times a week and they will take EXTRA good care of themselves. have you forgot about the governor Spitzer scandal in NY? have you had a look at the high class young hooker that got him into this mess? if it wasnt because she got busted, no one would have know and her toto is probably like any girl toto out there who gets shag by her "boyfriends"
what are you afraid of? is it because she has had different partners along the way? aint you secure with your abilities? or would you just prefer to have a girl that was bleeped everyday by her ex but didnt get no money for it?
the important word in the thread is the word "EX". if she is done with it, like most young smart hookers do (retiring well off before they get 30yrs old), then why not.
the point is that 1)she got to let me know about her past before it gets serious and 2) it should be just that: her past
but hey, as usual, to each their own.

I will agree with you. Though, I definitely WONT marry an EX-prostitute but then there are MANY girls in Nigerian universities that will definitely qualify as prostitute. Prostitution had been redefined. Gone are those days when you see ladies staying on the street looking for customers, now in the GSM era, all you do is just place a call and you have a lovely girl for the night, dont be surprised if she tells you she's a first class candidate at Unilag. I guess the poster is referring to the previous definition of prostitution, now most ladies in higher institution are practicing one form of prostitution or the other (apologies to the good ol'ladies). Or what would you call a girl that leaves school and went for a bachelor's eve knowing the possibility of sleeping with a man for money is 95%. Oh and because of the economy issues, the situation is getting worse. May God help us (the single guys) all.

Most of the ladies who responded "simple" should realise that most of the cost of weddings dont go into food and drinks. Note that renting a gown instead of buying one is a good way of reducing the cost. Using the same shoes you used for the traditional marriage for the thanksgiving service will reduce the cost. Using your old jeweleries reduces cost as well. And also using , not too expensive attires for trado, engagement after party and thanksgiving will definitely help. Food, drinks? Enjoy those, not so expensive except your are inviting 1000 pple.

Tranngirls:
We all know why women cheat, which is in case most of you dont know is when they feel emotional not connected to their partner or they dont see him as their hero anymore

What??!!! Are you kidding me? Women cheat (big time as well) even when they are connected emotionally to their partners with a mooring rope and even when their partners are supermen.

Like most pple responded, guys cheat, gals cheat. I dont know why the fuss is always about guys cheating.

Its pretty funny how the ladies arent talking so much and those that replied, simple asked her to change job and ask for forgiveness. But if it were to be guy that posted this thread, missiles for dey fly left, right, center. Anyway,

@Poster,
Well, this is the kinda of posts I dont understand. What kind of advice are u asking for? Let me even ask you, what made you give in to the demand in the first place? Is it that you lack money or your husband is not giving you enough banging. I know married women who go after young (mostly single) men. Not that they lack money, in fact they have more than enough, just that their husband are too busy working. Anyway, your life is in your hands. My advice, continue and enjoy the act.

@Poster,
The only reason why you are feeling the guilt is because you were probably brought up and taught that any sexual act before being married in church is a sin. This stuck in your brain and mind and its affecting you now. Same way some girls still believe that if a guy just shake their hands, its enough to get them pregnant (simple because her mom told her so when she was young). Please just go ahead and enjoy your marriage and sex life.

@Poster,
No human is worth your tears. Well, ok, actually the only one worth your tears will not even make you cry.

I salute you, you have done your best for someone you love. It might be difficult to let go, you even know the time of the day he called to break up with you, but you have to let go. Trust in God and he will direct your path to someone that is worth your tears. Good luck.

If My Girlfriend Gets Pregnant Unexpectedly, then very simple, I fast track the marriage proceedings.

sistawoman:
Should I start listing for you the thread topics that have covered this very behavior in Nigerian women?

Plenty of them, i'm sure. And I'm also sure 99.9% of them are referred to as wh ores.

sistawoman:
Carry your anti-american bullshit some place else.

I'm not even close to being one.

mi2009:
from all the negative responses. no wonder this post views naija men in a bad light. people never post anythng positve.

Dont get us wrong. Naija men are wonderful beings. But just like men the world over, dont throw yourself at them.

mi2009:
First of all, I am not stupid in the way of education, but naive to the way of African etiquette. The nigerian customs are different from American culture. I am an American woman dating a man from Africa. I have dated many American guys. I am not a bad looking girl. I get dates all the time. Don't ever think that I have to settle for this guy. I do have other options. I didn't mention this before, but I know a lot of women who are living with their boyfriend and they end up marrying them (meaning the guy is taking care of the girl). On the same token, I know guys that don't marry their girlfriend who are not staying together. Everyones situation is different. Some of you guys seen so tough, but I know some girls that could easily tame that.  Not every girl end up being dumped and hurt. You guys sometimes become victims of love too. Never forget that.

mi2009, I guess you will get accurate answers if you mention you are an american (I believe you mean thorough-bred, no that you won visa lottery or something) whenever you post a topic. Pple reply to your post thinking you are Nigerian and gave you advice as one. You americans can sleep with each other at first sight and its seen as normal but you try that in naija and you are "definitely" a wh ore.

To answer your question, since you feel you can move on whenever you like, then go ahead and leave your clothes (your entire wardrobe, if you like) in his house. Just remember to leave a big suitcase there too, you might need one in a hurry. Good luck.

DON FASZY:
GIVE HER ACCESS TO UR BANK ACCT, SHE WILL KILL U WITH LOVE, INFACT, U WILL DEAD IN LOVE,

Don Faszy, you don craze
Poster, make sure you have some very tangible amount in ur acct before you give her the access ooooo, else you are finished finally.

Poster, seriously, move on.

Smile, they say, is contagious. First thing is a nice smile (if you like pretend you r reading or you dropped ur phone, if ur face hard, end of story). Make eye contact (but dont keep it) with that smile and continue what you are doing. Do this every 30-40 mins but dont try to look desperate. If the guy doesnt come onto you, let it go, hes not interested or his babe/wife dey around. Dont push it. Now this is to get the guy to ask you out and NOT marry you oooo.

@Poster,
Like most of the guys have said, this list is REALLY endless. When you think you have worked for 15+ years dating and compiling this list, out of the blues, you meet a gal that will exhibit another jaw dropping, eye popping, mind blowing, annoying trait(s) that makes you think, chei! I never start sef. All said and done, we cant live without them, necessary evil.

@Kritikul,
You mentioned that the guy sleeps with the gals and not rape them, which to me sounds like the ladies gave their consent to the act. Now why are you blaming the guy when the ladies probably knows he's married. He dint force them, they agreed and even followed him to his friend's house. Believe me, try talking to these ladies and you will be shocked the answers you will get, some will simply tell you they know and you should mind ur own bizness. Which I think you should.

I read through the posts and I'm amused at what some pple wrote especially the ladies. Really, if your younger sister ask you for 5000 bucks to buy the form, will you give it to her as an elder sis/bro and as well give her the backing to get on the show? This show is just the same as "The Bachelor" where you have ladies fighting for the attention of one man. We know the kinda craze naija babes have for dbanj, forgot whether na ur babe or not, most of them dream of touching the guy, so if they are put in a situation where they have to fight for the dbanj's attention, then they will do anything including sex. What do you think will happen if your future mother-in-law saw u romancing dbanj last week only to be introduced as her son's fiancee the next week? And please dont even think of saying that nothing will happen in the mansion. How are u supposed to fight for this attention, washing his clothes, cooking for him? Dont be surprised if some gals bring "jazz" to the mansion. I have absolutely NO problem with Dbanj doing the show but I will DEFINITELY break up with my gf if she even thinks of going for the show. In this period where man difficult to find, no surprise if your gal comes out of the Koko Mansion, pregnant. Who no wan born for dbanj?

@Poster,
You have done something practically every guy had done in one form of a relationship or the other (dating or marriage). The fact that urs is marriage is what is making it somehow, anyway, not all relationships last, at least the chick should know that. If you are no longer interested in the relationship, just tell her. The good thing about your case is that u dont have to lie. Just tell her the truth, u r married with kids too. You may sound blunt but hey if its gonna get u out of the mess u r in, then fine so be it. Good luck,

@Poster,
Which kain advice u dey find? mmmmm, let me see. Right, i get one

Whenever ur sister's husband bangs u, ensure u dont use the same style 4 days consecutively, oniranu, alakori asewo, onisekuse omo, oponu.

landos4rea:
CAN U MARRY SOMEONE THAT IS BEHAVING ABNORMAL TO YOUR FAMILY AND FRIEND DESPITE YOUR TRUE LOVE AND CARE TO HER? I NEED YOUR ADVISE

Dem don come again!! These is surely one of those pple that just feel like "posting" a thread.