₦airaland Forum

Natural441:
My fellow nairalander let us discuss the reason men lose interest in there women after few years in marriage.

If you married someone who got pregnant for you without really being ready, you will get tired.

2. If you got married because of sex

3. You never really love her , you just married her out of pity or gratitude.

4. You got married because of family, societal and religious pressure.

Lastly Op please edit your post to SOME MEN not MEN. .

Acmepreneur:
Why do I have both? Am I not in real world?

you are confuse.

NwaNimo1:
Armed robbers...

[img]https://media./images/ee855c2d72c5a72fe2bb8dbd7962463a/tenor.gif[/img]

Dem now.....

change your mentality. Not everyone is a thief. Read his Bio and be inspired. This guys came from well to do families. Simple.

Modesthy:
I had a good uncle who passed away three years ago. His wife morned him for one year. I lived with that my uncle until I got married and parked to my own house.

I use to visit the house sometimes. After the mourning, his wife called me and told me that I should give her more children. She has only one male child. I refused. But She said I should do it for her because she doesn't want children outside the family because she loved my uncle and our family and that she can't continue to stay with only one child.

I'm completely confused. First I'm married doing that is infidelity, sencondly, the uncle was like a father to me before his death. And I see it as a big sin.

Please somebody should help me, what do I do here? How do I handle this issue? Thanks for your candid advice.

Baba dont do it ooooo, like someone said dont complicate your life.

On what basis should you do it ? cheating on your wife because of someone else, there is nothing that is hidden that wont be revealed. What will your children think of you when they realize their father was cheater that slept with his uncle's wife. What will your think of you.

Why complicate your life.

DONT DO IT..... thats is my advice.... the choice is yours

Acmepreneur:
This my guy is not serious at all.

I used to tell myself change is the only permanent thing in life bla bla bla. And I really believe that once you take the right steps, you can be anything you want to be. This made me to be very soft with people.

When I started dating my Boyfriend, I really was not choosy or judgy. I accepted him without a second thought. I'm not the type of lady that actually do all those lady stuff, I'm a very serious person and I don't play games at all.
My BF is very cool, like not bad looking, normal behaviour etc and I like him a lot.

I'm a very ambitious person, with an extremely big dreams, my boyfriend is also hard working, but I'm not seeing any future at all with his career/prospects/life. When I say I'm with big dreams, it's means I'm working on discovering (new innovations), planning big business that would compete with top brands etc. I'm that big in dreams.

My children is also very important to me, I don't plan for their sufferings at all.
I'm an introvert, I find solace in my aspirations, dreams. I have books I work out those formulas (I mean how I would execute my business plans), I research a lot, think a lot etc

Our fight now

Since day 1, I do tell him to do this and that. I really hate company works, so I would tell him to have savings, and be building something sideways where he works. Also, I wanted him to do Masters, since he said he would love to travel out, he's always saying he hates Nigeria bla bla bla. His dad also wanted him to do Masters, but he's in the crew of Masters is a waste of time, and he can't do Masters in Nigeria bla bla bla

Baby try this business, he would say he doesn't have money, he needs 2 million to start a business etc.

Meanwhile, he doesn't have money to travel out of the country to do Masters, nor 2m to start any business. So I would tell him to manage what he has first, and that would propelled him later, but he likes to talk like illiterates that Masters is meaningless.

Meanwhile, while that is true, those things are just like investment, you don't know when you will see an opportunity to use your Masters certificate, and since he studied computer science, I told him that it can even help him get a job outside Nigeria when he leaves, that it can be useful there. I understand the situation of the country, but not having masters doesn't mean you will get a job as well, so why don't you just have it.

My bf would shut me off, and also his dad, the dad even asked him to take job at the federal university where he works, but my bf said he can't work in that place, this is a federal government job o, he would say the salary is too small and people there already knows him, because his dad is in a big office in the university.

So it won't seem like I'm disturbing him, I went quiet, but might chip it in in discussions, but I don't fight him on those things. He works in a small company, and he rose to the position of a Manager, he spent all his time in office, the little time to waste with his friends. It's a good thing but I'm not comfortable with that, the pay is about 90k, which is not enough for his expenses, also he's the first born.

Fast forward to last year, his dad died, it looks like a film trick to him, he now have to take care of his siblings and mum (mum is nurse, but retired long time ago, her pay is little because it wasn't normal retirement). Everything I was telling him finally came to pass.

He rented an apartment with His friends, he later hated it, and said he wants his own, he went to rent an apartment of 600k (he gathered it from different places and he borrowed), which I really hate and we fought on that as well. Because he could have used the money to secure his life in a better way, since his complain when I told him to start a business is that he doesn't have money bla bla bla

He will not apply for better jobs as well
He's practically doing nothing to grow, and would say he hates Nigeria and he would like to leave, but he can't even apply for scholarships or even google schools.

So this 2020, Jan 1, I started fighting him, that I'm not going to continue with him like that, that he should go apply for MSC, start a business or just do something. He now started saying that he has responsibilities which are his siblings, I told him this is the nonsense, he would do till the year ends, we will fight and later resolve it.

He won't even talk about it, or get reminded, he makes me feel Hus boss is using him. I have told him several times how he would be used and dumped, in fact, he makes me say negatives sometimes, and that's because I have seen people that get dumped while working with companies and they fall back to grass, my mum won't even accept him because he works in a company, small company, not cocacola or big companies. My mum hates company works like shits because we've heard and seen people falling to zero due to company jobs.

The problem
1. He says I'm disturbing his life, and not allowing him to rest

2. I'm not happy with him living that way, with no future, no investment, hes not building himself while working, hes not doing courses, not learning any skills, and I think its too risky.
His current salary is not enough for him, not to talk of me collecting part of it. But he gives me money though, has not been more than 1k, 2k and data subscription which I really appreciate.

3. I can't introduce him to my family because I want him respected. Truth is I don't know what he would say to impress my parents because I'm not even impressed with him. And I want him to be superloved and respected. I believe in first impression would last very long. He has introduced me to his family and all friends

4. He never ask me about my own life, aspirations, advice me etc, I'm always the one to do that. Yesterday he had the gut to tell me I'm not caring because of just two days of not showing care

5. Corona has turned his company outside down and he's highly affected. Just like all what I was telling him finally happened, and he has nothing to fall back at. He has a car,

6. I can't marry him or anyone this way, and I'm getting old, though and I want marriage next year. He said he wants too, but I can't marry him like this. And I don't want to get to late twenties, and he breaks up and I start looking for husband, people would be thinking maybe I have a problem that is why I'm yet to marry, they won't know that its him that caused my delay. Plus I have a very high esteem, so I would hate to be desperate for marriage with a man or be the one to be wanting marriage so much in a relationship

7. Right now, we have temporarily break up, so I'm asking if I should break up or make up? Because he was saying rubbish last night

Note: I'm not a fan of dating and rubbish, I love him very much and I don't want to leave him at all. I don't think there's any man I can date as I do not like dishonesty at all and 95% of men are dishonest. My BF is very honest and good I'm every other aspect

I hope you read this. You can never get a 100% in anything, there must be a place for compromise.

Like you said he is loving, respectful and caring, so many ladies will kill for those listed qualities.

You can eventually get a guy who has a dream like mount kilimanjaro. But will he be caring, respectful and loving.

You have to choose what matters to you more.
If it is big dreams, drive and big ambition then that is good. Or if it is care, love and understanding between you both.

The choice is yours.

Remember you cannot have both, not in a real world.

Jakemedg:
didn't you hear of the TIV/JUKUN clashes because of same land days back

we are still saying the same thing. Even Oduduwa people shouting they want to be on their own......the suffering will be the same...... Go check out the story of SOUTH SUDAN and you will weep. remember they broke out of SUDAN.......... internal fighting is what is killing them till today (Within SOUTH SUDAN)

ojsmscom:
Imo State House of Assembly, on Thursday passed into law a bill which will stop past governors and speakers from receiving their pensions and other privileges.

The executive bill was presented by the Majority Leader of the House, Uche Ogbuagu and given accelerated hearing.

In an interview, the Majority Leader said the bill would go a long way in saving cost for the State.

According to him, the State loses about N1.3bn annually to offset the bills, a sum he described as humongous enough to pay workers’ salary.

He applauded the Governor, Hope Uzodinma for assenting to the bill, adding that Imo State will soon enjoy the benefits derivable from the law.

Uche Ogbuagu is the member representing Ikeduru State Constituency in the Imo House of Assembly.

https://dailypost.ng/2020/05/22/imo-assembly-passes-law-stopping-ex-governors-speakers-entitlements/

This is applaudable, i now seem to like the governor..... Selflessness and thinking about the future. Imagine in 20 years time do you know how it will be costing the state ? .... very good step.

softplace:
Na wa ooo

If Nigeria should break up , all regions will have massive civil war

In fact the region I fear would go to war quickly is the Niger delta , and when they do it would be very messy


Meanwhile, Do you need a website, an app or digital marketing service . See our past designs HERE

Exactly, so those people shouting BIAFRA dont know anything...... the suffering will be times 10

AmazingELixir:



Op on what capacity are you bringing up these your Do Not ?

Well Op hear me and hear me good ...if you're marrying from a family where the woman is approaching menopause if you like carry your side chicks come, the lady's family will cares less

Secondly if you are marrying a lady that is so troublesome to the family...if you like carry 10 phones dey answer calls like mtn customer care, the girl's parent will look the other way and be praying you don't get to know about the girl and change your mind.

Lastly but not the least if you are a money bag you can do all those things you listed there and the calls of our inlaw!, our inlaw!! will fill the air even before the introduction proper.

The last point is out of place. I think money is being over exaggerated. For instance if you like have millions that will not move my parents. Money cant buy everybody..... some will keep to their dignity and respect no matter what.

Babatunde40:
I tell people not to think all indian girls are pretty because of what you see on zee world and indian film. They have many many ugly girls. Infact, na the ugly ones plenty pass

People just lost their life and it is about beauty and zee world you are talking. That is highly insensitive of you.

horllar007:
Can your relationship recover from cheating?

Cheating

People cheat for different reasons. The general consensus is that it's wrong. No ifs, and or buts.

If you've ever been cheated on, you know that it feels pretty awful. It's a blow to your ego and your self-esteem. If you are a man reading this article; here are subtle signs that your woman is cheating on you.

1) She is always lost in thought

Women are known to be attentive creatures and great listeners. They sacrifice a lot in relationships but if she barely pays attention to what their man is saying, that means something or someone else is playing on their minds.

In fact, sometimes she may be totally lost in thought and may even lose touch with reality. If she is cheating, she will also probably think of ways to break up and hence, may appear distracted.

2) She has lost interest in romance

No matter how good the lovemaking was, she will lose interest if she is dating another man. She will begin to act so cold and distant lately; finding excuses not to have intimate time with you.

3) Constantly asking about her man’s schedule

Most women inquire about their man’s daily itinerary to plan for surprises, prepare supper on time or go on dates. But if she suddenly takes too much interest in her man’s schedule, and wants to know exactly when he leaves and comes back home, she might be planning to have the other guy over for a visit.

I love the fact you put opinion in your topic heading.... it is not always the case. Some times women portray this attitudes for different reason. You might not see the relationship going anywhere and so many other reasons.

It might be she have some incompatibility between you both and other reasons but she is taking her time to end things.

So brother it is not always the case.

So people dont start suspecting their girlfriends if they portray any of the above attitudes without them looking inward if they actually caused her to change or portray this attitudes.

Nice post all the same.

nautybride:
You all ran away to marry when you were supposed to help train your brother. Everyone has his or her life to live. Find your father, keep him safe with any of you till he can go back to his home. Then, your mother at older age will see the folly of spoiling her only son. Be careful though, so that your brother won't be the cause of their end. Hypertension, heart attack is real.

Ran away. So they should not get married? What are saying ?

PigTormentor:
To be honest, I miss Baba Iyabo in situations like this. This thugnor Wicked Wike would have been dealt with by now if Obasanjo is the president. The federal govt needs to check the excesses of this delusional thug imposed on the people by Jona-daft.

True talk. Obasanjo would have dealt with him since.

Teebaba30:
She even say something like this before that I should impregnate her, that with that her dad might consider, But I resist from doing that.

good. Not a good path to follow

Cti28:
Commendable. But climbing the truck is risky. What if he falls from there?

nah over sabi tins.

Eniolakiite:
You are correct. There are many amazing African Americans here and there are terrible ones too. But that happens everywhere, there will be bad and good people and you don't generalize because of that.

Gift Ideas for Mother’s Day that won’t cost you in this lockdown. i just watched that... Nice. Do you have an email address ?

ugolinze123:
but don't you think when statistics proves a higher figure from a great percentage is a base to easily generalize to a great extent. abi what do you think

What statistics ? on what grounds - Business, Education, Morals , on what ground. What does the statistics say

Next tip: Always do DNA test for any kids that Akata women have for you.

A DNA test is very necessary when dating Akata women who have kids for you because you can never be sure who owns the kid. Akata women's second home is in the club. They go to the club to find new dick. And many of them don't use condoms for the numerous dicks they collect on the side. So when they come up pregnant, you can be sure within the period the child was conceived, 6 other niggas were hitting it raw.

CORRECTION - THEY GO CLUB AND FIND NEW DICKS - You painting them as sluts is very wrong. That is not true. We have lot of successful African Americans you can google it, so those ones too go to club every time to find dick. I will repeat your circle determines who you meet. You move and deal with riff raffs and then you go ahead and generalise it.

And you come online to teach people how to deceive African American ladies so they can come and marry them in Nigeria ....... It is a shame.

drips8:
It's a shame that people generalize a whole group based on negative interactions with a few.

That is why i had to create a thread to correction alot of the wrong things he said.

ugolinze123:
are you married to an African American?

No..... I am not. I just feel it is inappropriate for someone to defame a group of people. It is wrong.

Next tip: Be ready for drama anytime. They are full of it. They will take opportunity of anything to try to make money from your misery.

CORRECTION - Reading through the write up makes it obvious that the Op is wrong. let me cite an example here. I once dated an America girl , she never lets me pay for anything. When we go out on dates I pay today , she will pay tommorow. All my years of dating no Nigerian girl has ever done that, will i now say all Nigerians girls are Gold digger and all African American girls share the bills when you are go out. No..

It all depends on the kind of girl. The truth is most of our Nigerians guys just want to use them and dump them, and some of them already know. If you treat someone right they will treat you right whether Asian or Arab.

Guess what most of them are already knowing our game that is why they dont date Nigerians anymore except the ones i mentioned earlier - Old, Druggies, Poor and Uneducated.

Maduawuchukwu:
Na everybody Nigerians dey fight? Today Ghana, tommorow South Africans, next tommorow Black Anericans, next week Igbo VS Yoruba. Na wa o!!! I personally respect the Black Americans though. They almost single handedly for the right minorities enjoy in America today. We Nigerians should learn how to fight for our own rights in Nigeria rather than insulting those who have done better than us.

God bless you. i respect them too. I have lot of respect for them. They came out strong despite the odds against them. The Op came to America and started living a jolly life he did not know someone fought so that he could enjoy what is enjoying today.

Instead of us to learn from them, we are bashing them thinking we are better than them.

KingZaddy:
if you live in certain areas of lagos you will conclude that all girls are whorez and all nigerian guys are yahoo boys.


the community matters

Exactly my point.

KingZaddy:
Not disputing the fact that the previous guy is correct about his own part but definitely all black americans cannot be classified in that category, never.

its just like saying nigerian girls have nothing to offer only sex, or saying all nigerian girls love money and will not follow a man without money.


for some it can be true but for others? no.


the point is not all black american girls are that irresponsible, depends on the community one finds himself.

Thank you. That is what i want to point out. He just created a thread and started making stereotypical statements that are wrong. So i decided to correct the notion so people dont believe all what said and take it for it.

I will be back for some more correction.

Judybash93:
Dayuuummmm!!! Nice one
But to be honest, most Nigerians aren't actually like this, we've got 99 problems and our beautiful black women all around the world ain't one.
Africans tend to forget that African-Americans have been through a lot from slavery to the famed Jim Crow's era and to a whole lot of crap they had to deal with all because they're black. They had to build a level of self defense to deter people from treating them like crap. I respect African Americans because if not for them, we Africans would have had it worse.
Just leave him to it

Exactly my point. African Americans have being through alot and i must commend them to be honest. But people like the Op who dont know anything travel to America and start saying rubbish.... We must commend they scale through against all odds.... Ordinary Abacha we were shaking like jelly fish...... I tell myself this everytime... African America need some hats off..... they tried. their forefathers tried and we must respect them for that. Period. i finally see someone who thinks differently.

billynoni:
Educative thread overall, the OP tried... Na man you be. Take away the defensive Khiaa and unpaid politician Scara-what-what's part, you will enjoy the whole thread while laughing, with oga lefulefu jara and Zini***'s format.

There is nothing Educative about it. It is packed with wrong assertion. IT IS WRONG.

Next tip: Get used to seeing some certain things in your relationship.

2. Get used to knowing the names of all the characters in Love and Hip hop, Basketball wives, Housewives of Atlanta, and the Kardashian. You will be watching those shows even if you don't want to.


3. Get used to her telling you she's going to the club. Even at almost 50 years old, they still go to the club. Despite the gravitational pull on their former assets, they still feel they are the hottest thing since baked bread. And they will dress to kill in the shortest and tightest outfit while holding up their sagging assets with countless clothing implements. Just say ok. You can't stop Akata from clubbing.

SMH, Wrong, Wrong, Wrong. Absolutely wrong.

Next tip: Because there is delicious jollof rice on the table, don't think it's only your eyes that sees it. And that brings me to the next tip. Don't fall for the temptation of her friends. They want you too. They want to take you from her hands like yesterday.

Most of her friends are just like her: string of failed relationships, baby daddies, multiple kids from different men, desperate, or have given up hope on finding a partner.

She will boast about you to her friends. She will tell them everything about you.

You are the jollof rice in the table. grin cheesy

They will see their friend's happiness and how much brighter her life appears now, compared to their dull, drama filled lives. They will want that brightness. And they will want to eat that jollof rice. And they will come for you.

Na that time you go know say you are a hot commodity.

And her friend may be more attractive than her. Everything on their body may appear bigger and better than your woman's own. Biko, don't do it. You will regret it at the end.

That's all I will say about that.

CORRECTION - Is the poster of the thread saying there are no faithful African American lady. That is an aberration, You talking about failed relationships who has not had one, painting African American as sluts is wrong. THEY ARE NOT. Just like we have loosed girls in Nigeria we have the same here. If Nigerian yahoo boys should tell you story of Nigerian girls you will be shock. i have a friend who is dating a Nigerian girl in America, the girl sleeps with other men, the guy is aware, the girl tell am say she no fit get one boy friend. He is my friend.... WHAT OF THAT ONE..... Will you now say all Nigerian girls are like that ?

It is this same attitude Nigerians took to South African till they started turning against us, We go to their country and start behaving as if we are better than me. We feel we know too much and that is why we as Nigerians are where we are today. I TOO KNOW.

How Nigerians treat fellow Nigerians in America is a topic for another day.

khiaa:
You cant judge a nation of people by a tv show, that's foolish. Do you judge the whites by the same show, I very much doubt that you do? Am I to judge all Nigerians like the idiots I see on Nollywood movies?

My exact point.

Next tip: They are not very marriageable

African American culture stems from a background of single motherhood. Most AA females in the US are unmarried and if you look at their family's history, you will find out a history of multiple women with kids from different fathers. Even going back 3 generations. This is quite a normal occurrence in the African American community. There is nothing wrong with having different kids of different colors and skin tones from different men of different kind of color or skin tones. Many families have sibling who look nothing like each other.

Black women in America really don't believe in marriage. They see marriage as an inconvenience when they can be single and get as much penis as they can. Why get married?

So go ahead and marry if you find this unbothersome.

CORRECTION - How can someone make such a statement, Go to Youtube and watch this program - MY BIG WHITE WEDDING, you will see beautiful African Americans getting married with lots of planning. Remember the class division i created about the poor, low class and so on...... Obviously you dont expect someone who is poor, drug addicted, uneducated and into all shades of evil vices to want to get married. What do you expect ?
The Low Class, Middle Class, and Rich will and get married on a reguarly basis. The poster on the former thread is just painting a picture of the kind of people he or she moves it.

Next tip: Akata women aren't very good mother's

An Akata woman will take care of herself and her boyfriend better than her kids. They will neglect their kids or leave them with Grandma just to go and get some good D or go clubbing. And the neglected kid may even be an infant but that means nothing.

Partying and enjoyment comes first before anything else.

CORRECTION - I really dont know the kind of women you meet, most African American women i know will do anything for their kids. It is like reading a news about a Nigerian girl who threw her baby in a dumpster, then you coming out to say all Nigerians girls throw their babies away.

It all depend on your circle, where you live and your life style.
You live in a Ghetto, work in a Ghetto, there is a huge chance you will definitely date a ghetto girl.... what do you expect.

You live in Mushin , work in Mushin, School in Mushin...... you will always meet mushin girls...... it will be bad to now generalize it and say all Lagos girls are rascals.