oyinda.:

i didn't read ur post 'cus it was too long but i saw this line

wow. i love waakye and shito. i'd rather have it too

Just try and read the bolded part.It is quite educating.

To: African Men In The Diaspora
Written by N. Amma Twum-Baah
Saturday, 25 July 2009
To: African Men in the Diaspora

From: African Women in the Diaspora

Re: Several Issues We Wish to Discuss! Plus, You Are Our Only Hope…

July 24, 2009


Just this once, please allow me to put aside trying to be proper and worrying about correct tenses and punctuations. I want to talk to you in a language we can both understand without punctuations and grammar/spell check getting in the way and slowing me down. My African sisters and I came together and decided it is time to get some things off our chests! Most of the naturally light skinned ones said they did not care and did not want to get involved because they had no problem. But, we know they are lying, for most of them are also still single too.

The younger sister of Mansa’s friend got married last weekend in Ghana and she is only 25 years-old. This got Mansa feeling nervous because a lot of us, similarly attractive, well educated sisters in the Diaspora have not yet been as lucky and we are pushing 35! Now we won’t admit this, but we are all so uneasy. We think if we don’t come to our senses and ask some serious questions, we will all die old and alone with our big degrees, luxury cars, and flashy homes! So, we wanted to come to you, our men in the Diaspora, and find out what is going on. We want to know why many of you have abandoned us for other women, and why you watch us slowly fade into oblivion. One day, we will all have vanished leaving behind no trace of our existence. We are slowly becoming an endangered species, and we want to know why.

White men don’t want us because we do not meet the standard “beauty” definition. Black men run away from us because they say we are too educated and opinionated and unsubmissive. European men would rather date and marry one of their own. Don’t even get me started on Asian men; they won’t even look us in the eye because they have no respect for us. They think all we’re about is to come into their hair supply stores every week to get a different brand and length of weave and fading creams. But what are we to do? We can’t please everyone. We can’t be ourselves; and when we try to be someone else too we are labeled insecure?!

Amma run into this sister of ours from Kenya the other day and she looked weird. Her face was as light as butter cream but her neck said her face used to be a darker color. All this so one of her own would find her attractive.

Then there’s this our Nigerian sister who tries too hard to look … well, even we are confused about what she is trying to do with her hair. Today it’s long and wavy. Tomorrow, different story. Cecilia said she almost didn’t even recognize her.

Don’t even get me started on my Ghanaian sisters for I know them too well and I don’t want to be the one to snitch and embarrass anyone. Let’s just keep this between you and me (whisper). “Her eyes are really dark brown and not hazel like you think. And when she and I talk, she does not sound so proper and prim. Her accent is as heavy as yours. She’s just faking it to impress you.”

My Ivorian sister confided in me the other day that you wanted to put your sacred member where things should only come out of. When she protested, you threw her aside and said you were going to Michelle’s house because Michelle doesn’t mind where you put, what you yourself apparently have named, “torture rod.” Of course Michelle will let you do whatever with … em … what’s his name … “torture rod?” because she has no respect for herself, or her body. To her, it is a playground for any man who wants to play hide and go seek! You used to respect us, what happened?

When we were all back in our various African countries, you told us you would die for us! You jumped our father’s high walls decorated with sharp-edged broken bottles and barb wire, and even the hedged fences, to profess your undying love. You would not stop calling even after daddy gyata (lion) yelled at you and threatened to shoot you in places we need not mention if you ever called “his” phone again.

Some of you bought us fake plastic flowers which we gladly accepted because we did not know we could have the real thing. I remember the teddy bear Kwame gave me for Valentine’s Day. I named him Kwame Snuggly because he looked just like Kwame and was so snuggly, and I know he had to really scrape and save to buy it for me. Even though he is now one-eyed, I still love and cherish him and snuggle him every night in memory of what we once had, and the sacrifices you were willing to make to ensure I was happy. Of course, then all you knew was that I was beautiful and worthy. I was your African queen. Now you are asking me “why have dark chocolate when there are all these different flavors?” What a cruel, cruel world.

We want to be ourselves and still be accepted! If you won’t accept us for bettering ourselves, who else will? Obviously no one! And many of us are suffering in silence because when we talk you allow your non-African wives to jump on us and call us names.

See, mummy told us if we were good girls and learned how to cook and clean, that we would find good African men to marry us. This is why even when some of us were hitting the books hard and burning the midnight oil to compete with you guys in secondary school and the university, we still found time to enter the smoldering kitchen to learn how to chop onions, cut our fingers, have our fingers burned by flaming charcoal, and even learn how to cook your favorite yam and egusi stew. And let’s face it, we did have to work twice harder than you because after a long day in school we still had to go home and cook while you all got to release your stress on the football field and/or study whenever you wanted.

Funmi says her mother used to tell her that knowing too much book will not get her a good man to marry and boy was she right!

When we were up at 4:30 am sweeping the large compound, you all were snoring away. So what, that we had two house girls at home? Mummy was not having her girls not know how to clean their husband’s compound and bring shame to her name. She taught us well and we appreciate it even if not for your benefit, but for our own benefit.

Personally, I hate egusi stew but I figured what if my husband likes it and I don’t know how to cook it, then what? So I learned how to cook it anyway. All for you ooh, all for you! Now I hear that you are choosing other women who can’t even cook over us because of love. What’s love got to do with it? This no be love matter oh, this be the “principle of the matter” matter!

Leave love to the others! We want love too. They already have many many choices of men who will snatch them as soon as you drop them, but like I stated earlier, you are all we have because other men don’t find us attractive! They don’t want us! Even with the hazel eyes, long weaves and light faces, other men know real blond when they see one. They can easily separate the fake ones from the real ones from across a room.

Even as we learned how to make egusi stew and yam, we also learned how to be educated, classy ladies. Many of us have single-handedly worked two jobs to put ourselves through the university so that we can have smart conversations with you and not embarrass you in front of company. We can talk just as good as the other women and we know that champagne goes in the glasses with the long stems and wine in the glasses they call wine goblets. We also know how to drink wine and eat cheese at these uppity functions even though what we would rather have is some waakye (rice and beans) with spicy shito and cow/goat leg stew. You know…the one that makes your nose tingle and the hairs on the back of your head feel prickly? Ahaa, you remember!

My cousin Emmanuel says as for him, he likes akata girls because they will let him do anything to them. But, that is not fair, because it was him, this same person, who was standing there nodding his head when Auntie Cecilia and Grandma Agnes were telling me that “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” If he knew that was not true, he should have said something. He says I’m his favorite cousin, so, you can see why I’m feeling betrayed. I have all these cooking skills and no man to show for it because apparently the way to a man’s heart is through some place else? Aaaba!

Okay, so now that the damage has already been done, now is not the time to point fingers and all that other stuff. Now is the time to right the wrongs. So, what is it that you guys see in the other woman that has caused you to abandon us? What is it they have that we don’t have? Please tell us for we are listening. And we do not want to hear about all this “falling in love” nonsense for we want love too and are very capable of loving you in return. What makes you think we also don’t like to hike and vacation in Venice?

All we ever asked is that now that you are also making a little money, that you buy us real flowers and still go through hoops to win our hearts. Eii, we were taught not to be too easy so can you really blame us for rolling our eyes at you a little even when we know we like you? Enikwe thinks it’s because now you guys have options (variety) you want to flex on us. Don’t mind her, she is too akata even for her own taste. I know that’s not true, right?

You say that ever since we traveled outside Africa, that we have changed. Now how can change be such a bad thing when we only changed to better ourselves? All we did was go to school and become someone so you won’t have to be the only ones paying all the bills. All we did was learn how to eat chips and dip so we can compete with the other women. We have trimmed down our hips, thighs, buttocks and stomachs and are now wearing size 4 jeans and that too you’re complaining? You were the same ones who used to tell us you liked the way our behinds jiggled with the swift sway of our hips. We were your bottom-powered African queens. Now you want to complain because you say Tameka is easier to flip in the bedroom and as for us, we are just too heavy to move.

So, we changed all this for you! You were the very same ones who would run your hands up and down our legs because you said they felt like velvet carpet and that it turned you on. Today, you know the razor blade is not just for getting rid of hairs under our armpits – that Venus has a blade that will help reveal the goddess within - so now you like us to get rid of what once used to turn you on because the other women have smooth legs? Hmmm…

Abena thinks the real problem is that we have bettered ourselves by going to school, getting big big degrees and big big jobs that pay us big big money, and you guys feel like you have lost control over us. We have learned to eat things besides fufu and abe nkwan (palm nut soup), and many of us talk like we were born here. Many of us have our own cars, so now when we visit and you won’t stop pressuring us to sleep with you we can drive ourselves home and not have to wait till you’re good and ready to call us a cab after you have given us the “if you loved me you would do it” speech.

I think the problem is also that we know you too well and can call you out on your BS, and that is why you prefer to go with the other women; because they don’t know what you looked like when you were eleven, and how far you’ve come since them; and they help to pump up your ego.

But, remember, this is where you started! We know that when you look at them, you wish they were us. Yes, we are begging for understanding, but we still have our pride! It’s not like we don’t have a choice. We can go home and we will find husbands just like that! (Said with a finger snap) But, the men back home … we’ll just save that for another day.

So, what are we going to do now? Tell us, what should we do now that we have gone through all this trouble and have been groomed for you and you guys have abandoned us? Akosua says she was at the meat market last time when she saw this Ghanaian man with his Akata wife and toddler. She says the man let go of the toddler’s hand for a minute, and the child was about to wander off. His Akata wife yelled at him pootopooto, and called him stupid right there by the meat counter with everybody looking at him and he did not say anything! Now Akosua is known to exaggerate the truth, but I believe something close to what she says happened really happened.

At least if it was one of us, we would wait to get home and then call you stupid even if we wanted to dare disrespect you like that. Now, that is what you want? That is what you call progress and moving up? Twiaaaa!!!!

If you were able to make sense of all our rambling, then you still understand us and care about us. If you were lost in translation, then we are afraid you are so far gone there is no hope of ever getting you back; so farewell, so long and may you be happy wherever you choose.

And now comes the begging part: We are begging you to talk to us. Let us know what changed. What is it that you are looking for? We will do anything to have you come back home, EXCEPT, of course allow you to put your “torture rod” you know where! You can keep Michelle for that as long as you come home at night.

(This article was written by N. Amma Twum-Baah. Amma is the founder and managing editor of Afrikan Goddess (AG) Online, an online publication for the African woman of charm and excellence.)

Afrikan Goddess

Is this really how many of our diaspora ladies are thinking?

Black_Revo:

On the condition that those ******* will be man enough and defend themselves here.

No way this is the scenario we have all been waiting for. where are those ******* to come and defend their *******.

From one of posts i have read you grew up in lagos and probably can speak their language .What do you have againsr them

Afam:

The last time I checked, one of my account privileges included the ability to change my signature to whatever I want.

Return home? Please don't, stay put wherever you are abeg.

Why now

brein:

Topic.

All nicely said on lessons learnt so far. . Mine goes thus
That Jakumo is a self acclaimed protagonist and a fantastic philosopher.

And that [b]MrCrackles is an independent cult mogul and a Grussling Brash Brasher. . .[/b]

And that i wish Gabry was my grand mother

And that Ejadamen musta been a professional cook (YEA)!

And that d guy named Tudór is a Religion owned blasphemer same as many others.

And that the racial condemnation and tribalism in this country (Nigeria) is nothing to write home about.

And that Nairaland has thought me not to love my mami_water girlfriend.

And That there's something def spikey about that babe called cylinder. . .

And that there are no peace makers in NL.

Will be back with the rest of the nuws.

Nigerians have false image of themselves.

2tait:

Nigeria is on the right path. The path that will lead to rejuvenation.
The importation of dry gas I believe will in the interim ameliorate the energy problem in Nigeria (which was worsened by the Niger Delta imbroglio). This will then give the government of the day enough space to work on the other key issues affecting the nation and even the power/energy sector.

As a nation I think we should avoid self loathing and be creative on how to solve the mountains of problems affecting us. We can do it together. Indeed, together we can. Nobody will do it for us. Self-loathing will not.

Yes we have our problems and some of them are indeed strange, even at that, Nigeria is still the best country in the world.

This one dey live for lalaland  

kokoA:

OK. 4 Reasons why Dangote can never be broke:

1. He has diversified his business to cover the production of different essential household products that people will always buy no matter what.

2. He does'nt manage his business by himself. He has hired capable expatriates to call the shots in his companies.

3. He is no a tribalist (like typical Nigerian business men). He ha evenly distributed his companies accross the the country, that is the character of a strong entreprenure.


4. The Nigerian government will no let him go broke, because if he does, Nigerian will suffer. And lots more

Which nigerian real business man is a tribalist?

Nigerian govt should flogged for empowering one man in a big country like nigeria to the extent thet if he collapses the masses will suffer.

kokoA:

Good question. Can you paste the article here? I will respond after going through it. Thanks

I tried pasting it but the annoying automatic nairaland spam bot kept removing it

MrCrackles:

Can this be true?
Dangote going broke?

Did you read the article?

kokoA:

Dangote can never be broke. Ok?

Why do you think so?

Is this not related this topic i posted yesterday.If only nairaland spam bot will allow me to past it.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-299088.0.html

Afaukwu:

Asha2,

I choose my title as I like and if you do not like it, you can take a plunge. I have no apologies and I really do not care what you think and who you think you are. I will also like to advise you to mind your business. You do not have to respond to my posts, you know?

I will respond to whatever thread i want to and there is nothing you can do about it.

Eziachi:

This is really funny. So non of you knew why your president made an unbelievable diplomatic blunder over Kosovo?
You may call him an idiot but he has his reason just like the Russians and the Chinese that hasn't recognised Kosovo too with a cold feet.

1. The Chinese cannot, as how will they explain their hold on Tibet? and contantly harrassing and challenging Taiwan's independent.
2. The Russian has ancient tie with Serbia, that is obvious but their main reason is their conscience pricks them about Kosovo whe they are holding Chechnya/Ugeshetia.

So Yar Adua's reasoning fall in the same line, how can he recognise Kosovo, when Kosovo did exactly what Biafrans did and got a war?
So if he recognised Kosovo, how then will he come home and arrest Uwazuruike and MASSOB?
But being an illiterate graduate, he doesn't know that he could have played it safe without exposing the Nigerian double standard.
Go back and read my write up the day Kosovo voted for Independent, I predicted that they will end up being a small bone in the neck for Nigerian diplomacy in future.

Can you locate it thanks.

ikeyman00:

this is all happening under one Nigeria!! any doubt

it not like Gov of Abia State, that have bury his alloctaion in his smelly and dutty village

so Before anyone start talkin on Biafara, lets call our Governor for question first

we should have at least decent roads to drive on !! at least, what is goin on ooooooo

You should know that Abia is a basket case.

@ikeyman

Fashola is not a politician.

Afaukwu:

Asha80,

You have always been stupid and hollow. I just wanted to let you know this otherwise your gibberish above is hardly worth any response

If you do not know you sound like a fool.The title of the post is at best childlish.You better respect your age with the way you title most of your posts.

presido1:

his own almost finished when obj was ejected from aso rock

How can someone have a monoply of importation of sugar,cement,flour.I know he is good business man but honestly what does he know that other nigerian biz men do not know?

Richyblack abeg change the headline.

@Afaukwu

Sometimes i think you have an issue with yourself worth.

Naija for life

One by one they are leaving. As the fortunes of Nigeria’s richest man continue to take a nose dive, the financial empire of Alhaji Aliko Dangote listed by Forbes magazine as amongst the world’s richest men is already cracking up, and beginning to collapse under its own debt and mismanagement.

The auguries are not good. Consider just a few recent events: First has been the mass exodus of some top brass within the Dangote group who have taken to the exits before what is believed to be the imminent crash. Mr. Uzoma “Uzor” Nwankwo; the Group Executive Director in charge of Corporate Finance abandoned ship after just four years in charge; ostensibly afraid the black box-like financial management at the Dangote group will implode in a wave of accounting scandals.

Alhaji Tajudeen “Taju” Sijuade; the former chief accountant and group finance director left after 20 years nervous that hidden billions of debts and operating losses inside private partnerships and dizzyingly complex accounting schemes that were intended to pump up the buzz about the Dangote group and support the inflated stock price of its companies will explode.

Anthony “Tony” Hadley; an expatriate hired from the French building materials conglomerate, Group Lafarge for $5 million a year left in anger and frustration accusing Aliko Dangote of duplicity and reneging on the terms of his employment contract. Also already taken to the exit is Samaila Suberu, the finance controller cum treasurer of the Dangote group. A source close to Dangote who pleaded anonymity for obvious reasons told Huhuonline.com that: "they are all resigning now for 'personal reasons' but I would think they have looked down the road and know this stuff is unfixable and would rather abandon ship now than resign in shame later."

As if that was not enough, the Senate Committee on Banking, Insurance and Other Financial Institutions named Aliko Dangote among the beneficiaries of the N53.3 bn Failed Banks’ Loans. Dangote, then a director of Liberty Bank Plc (in Liquidation), secured a loan of N650m without collateral for Bullion International and Dangote Group of Companies.

Although Dangote claims to have refunded all the money, the conflict of interest and bad publicity was the latest in a line of embarrassing gaffes for the head of a business enterprise whose vision as stated on the group website is: “To be a world class enterprise that is passionate about the standard of living of the general populace and high returns to stakeholders.” The Senate Committee chair, Senator Nkechi Nwaogu, reportedly received death threats on account of the published list and investigations traced the threats to Dangote’s home state, Kano.

Huhuonline.com investigations have zeroed in on accounting schemes and other questionable business practices - including a bizarre sex angle – by frantic Dangote group officials who are racing against time to hold the bottom from giving way as their debts have been mounting, creditors and banks breathing down their necks asking for re-payment of past loans; falling stock price was falling and that the last people to learn of the looming reckoning were going to be millions of Dangote shareholders and innocent Nigerians an unenviable position for a group whose mission as outlined on its website is to: “ Touch the lives of people by providing their basic needs.” One manager-level employee from the group told Huhuonline.com that: "I know it would be devastating to all of us, but I wish we would get caught. We're such a crooked company."

It seems almost certain that the chickens are coming home to roost for Aliko Dangote, but the man’s unpopularity runs far deeper. After he threatened President Yar’adua over a planned move by the government to increase the number of cement import licenses to importers outside the sector, the Cement Manufacturers Association of Nigeria (CMAN), called off Dangote’s bluff and declared their unflinching support for government's decision to import cement to augment the shortfall in local production.

Rising from a stakeholders meeting on Thursday, July 2, CMAN in a statement by its Executive Secretary, Mr. J. A Salako noted that the group had always held the position that importation of cement was an imperative in the short-term to ensure that national demand for the product could be met since local production remained grossly insufficient.

Despite being cleared of any wrong doing by SEC, in the share scam involving African Petroleum AP Plc shares of his erstwhile friend, now bitter enemy, Chief Femi Otedola, Huhuonline.com has learnt that on the instructions from Aso Rock, the Board of the Nigerian Security and Exchange Commission (SEC), where Dangote served as second vice president has asked the business magnate to resign his position, saying he has become too compromised with his shady business dealing. According to a source who elected anonymity the move is to allow SEC restore public and investor confidence on the market regulatory agency.

Apparently, Aliko Dangote's lavish “investment” in political donations in the ruling PDP also seems to have run up against the limits of its return as the man is yet to get a response from the series of “help-me calls” he has been making to Aso Villa as the wheels of his financial empire started coming off. Forbes magazine which estimated Dangote’s net worth at $3.3 billion noted that the fortunes of the world’s number 334 richest man has been shrinking, but could not establish the extent of Dangote’s loss because of the group’s secretive and mind-numbingly complex black-box like business operations. Forbes blamed the loss on the global economic crisis.











http://huhuonline.com/news506.html

back2back:

if this is true, Guys, I wanna commot from this country.

Who go fit help me?

Where you dey go?Naija for life

Is this a joke?

I know that even in the south some families only watch dstv and cnn as their favourite news station but not knowing the national anthem or speaking the lingua franca(english) of 'their country'.

What we practice in nigeria is petronationalism simple.So much for one nigeria.

@All i get the flow of A-town argurements but some basic infrastructre have to be in place before it can work.

zerocool:

@A-Town; i can see frm ur post u are mentally disturbed & need to be remanded in the psychiatry hospital. Even in some european countries where the system is working; electricity,water, employment, politics etc, cost of education is FREE FOR FOREIGNERS. This country is FU#kD, and i kip telling pple i doubt if it will ever advance, not in this generational lifetime.

Do not lose hope yet.God dey

@debosky

You are right you know.At times when i hear people saying only a limited amount of jobs are available in nigeria and there is no need graduating millions i ask whose fault is it?

If there was constant electricity in the country most guys i know probably might be engaged in private biz.Not everyone whats a white collar job or work for someone.

presido1:

This is very good development. Pls nobody should question anybody for us to save our "One Nigerianess".
Bravo YaraDoGood.
I will deffinitely vote you for 3rd term and 4th term.

Naija 4 lyfe _{as they say}    

Where are those igbo guys that grew up in lagos to help in decoding these ramblings

Machiny:

U see fashola na warning great mend.jombo said the attack has nothing to do with lagos.but they needed a big oil facility and the atlas cove fits in.pray because he said they we soon go into infrastructural bombing,which most of the bridges in lagos will come down.in lagos the youths can go into entertainment which is sponsored by govt,like wise in niger delta youths go into militancy also sponsored by govt.so of u blarbing MAKE MEND CATCH U

Did he actually say that?

ifele:

@danexd

I support your idea. I am unemployed too. We gotta get our selves together and formulate idealogies and

strategies to combat I mean combat the PDP machine. We can have army of unemployed revolutionaries but its

just a mattter of funding and administration now because the masses of unemployed they are ready to join up

with us.

the problem is not PDP but the way the country is structured and run

lelele:

I will b w8in 4 dat drink my brother, infact more dan w8ing, bt seriously 4get all those politicians, those guys are all the same they wuld trade their family for the contracts they get 4rm each otha, nt 2 talk of tribes. We r talkin abt people who use their kinsmen for rituals, so lets nt get it twisted ( dey dnt care abt us). Have u ever seen a politician's son engagin in tribal exchanges ( cos wen u r a member of d cabal u r loyal 2 d cabal, are we so quick 2 4get d roles hausa and igbos played in Obasanjo's 3rd term bid) or dnt we kno how D slow Yar'adua has bin quick 2 trade Ribadu and El-rufai( d peeps who worked 2 get him elected tirelessly ) for cheap criminals like Ibori and Odilli. Listen those guys are nt as intelligent as us, so lets stop insultin our own intelligence and 4get all dis puerile and infantile arguments. lets move on, presently i am ashamed i lived with Ghanians wen i first came 2 d Uk, and i used 2 boast dat we r d giants, bt look at our poor and nt 2 blessed neighbors, those guys are taking sure and steady steps( small small d snail is outrunning d lion in dis race ooooo) come next year lets get Yar'adua out and get a vibrant person in. we r dying as a country, very soon we wuld hav nothing 2 depend on. Please lets do it rite ( we r d future )

Where you not the same person bashing in igbo thread