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 Jobs/Vacancies › As A Graduate, Will You Work As A Gateman For 900k? (funny Answers) by Axelrod(op): 9:09pm On Oct 17, 2017 |
This question was asked on Twitter moments ago; "As a graduate, would you accept a job of N900,000 monthly as a Gateman?" Here were the crazy and hilarious responses that followed....... Nigerians, I hathee  1. I would have said NO but my hobbies include opening and closing of gate.  2. Why I con go school na, if not to be a young smart gateman? My dream job, we're all gatemen in our family. 3. See you, gateman that am doing free of charge most days these days..... Izz like u want me to resume on credit already, abi? 4. I would even work seven days a week and twice on Sundays.... I go even train my pikin to take over from me. 5. I can be the gateman, the dog, the security lights and the alarm 6 After taking the job, I would pick up a form to do my masters and PhD in Opening gate and security science to be a better gateman 7. I started opening gate when I was 6 months old, so I hv too much experience plsss. Where can I apply? 8. Is it not just to open and close gate? Call me your GM.. Boss of the gate.. Commander in chief of the gate forces. When do I start? 9. Some are gatemen, some are Senior Access Controllers.. I'd even combine the two together. 10. Me that i will use my certificate to be fanning myself beside the gate when am feeling heat 2 Likes |
| Romance › Re: A Nairalander Pre Wedding Pictures by Axelrod(m): 2:12pm On Oct 10, 2017 |
bobbyvow:Do you already have an MC/Comedian to spice up the event. I offer professional MC services. You can reach me on 08064286492. I'm Abuja based. |
| Music/Radio › Re: Davido Wins Song Of The Year & Video Of The Year At AFRIMMA 2017 | Full Winners by Axelrod(m): 3:48pm On Oct 09, 2017 |
RETIREDMUMU: |
| Celebrities › Re: Police Arrest Lawrence Abrokwah, Afia Schwarzenegger’s Husband by Axelrod(m): 8:31pm On Sep 08, 2017 |
Sabrina18:To think that a man will someday put this wh.re supporter in his home brings chill on my skin. Jeeeez! 1 Like |
| Celebrities › Re: Police Arrest Lawrence Abrokwah, Afia Schwarzenegger’s Husband by Axelrod(m): 8:26pm On Sep 08, 2017 |
Sabrina18:Your wife can go about whoring around right? I just found one of her type! And people that reason like you will some day become ''parents''. Talk about moral decadence! SMH |
| Education › Re: All You Need To Know About The Nigeria Vs India Match That Ended 99-1(photos) by Axelrod(op): 6:19pm On Sep 08, 2017 |
UncleRichy:You're a badass! 5 Likes |
| Education › Re: All You Need To Know About The Nigeria Vs India Match That Ended 99-1(photos) by Axelrod(op): 6:10pm On Sep 08, 2017 |
Shezhawt:Real story? It never happened? Hahahaha 3 Likes |
| Education › Re: All You Need To Know About The Nigeria Vs India Match That Ended 99-1(photos) by Axelrod(op): 6:07pm On Sep 08, 2017 |
UncleRichy:Good luck with that brotherly. But don't be surprised when they ask which website they can confirm the gist. 3 Likes |
| Education › Re: All You Need To Know About The Nigeria Vs India Match That Ended 99-1(photos) by Axelrod(op): 11:45am On Sep 08, 2017 |
bqlekan:Lol |
| Education › Re: All You Need To Know About The Nigeria Vs India Match That Ended 99-1(photos) by Axelrod(op): 9:51am On Sep 08, 2017 |
[quote author=Infamous post=60247550]Thanks |
| Education › Re: All You Need To Know About The Nigeria Vs India Match That Ended 99-1(photos) by Axelrod(op): 9:50am On Sep 08, 2017 |
[quote author=Infamous post=60247550][/quote]Thanks. |
| Education › Re: All You Need To Know About The Nigeria Vs India Match That Ended 99-1(photos) by Axelrod(op): 9:49am On Sep 08, 2017 |
Axelrod: |
| Education › Re: All You Need To Know About The Nigeria Vs India Match That Ended 99-1(photos) by Axelrod(op): 9:40am On Sep 08, 2017 |
Hahahahaha Mods please help educate Niaralanders. Cc. Lalasticlala, ishilove 3 Likes |
| Education › All You Need To Know About The Nigeria Vs India Match That Ended 99-1(photos) by Axelrod(op): 9:38am On Sep 08, 2017 |
THE TALE! I remember that terrible match. Nigeria lost 99 - 1. The only goal was scored by Thunder Balogun. After that match, FIFA banned India from football. A certain Ranjeet Arsenewanjo scored 19 goals in that match and our keeper confessed to the ball turning into several balls whenever Indian are in the penalty box REALITY! Nigeria versus India match: Virtually everybody born before the invention of the internet must have heard the tale of a nonexistent football match between Nigeria and India that obviously took place in a parallel universe and somehow we got to hear the gory stories of that match. Though there are many variations of the story, every prevaricator seems to agree on a couple of facts about this fictional football match. Each storyteller agrees that; 1. This match ended with India scoring 99 goals and Nigeria scoring just one goal. 2. Nigerians where unable to kick the ball because the football kept turning to a lion (or something scary) to prevent them from playing the soccer ball. 3. The Indians later agreed that if Nigeria could score a goal, they would concede defeat. 4. Samuel Okwaraji scored the winning goal and lost his life in the process. 5. FIFA banned India from soccer because they used black magic in that very game With the help of common sense (not that it was absent back then), quick access to information and the internet, every right thinking Nigerian has come to realize that such a story should be filled under blatant lies.[color=#006600][/color] 6 Likes 1 Share
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| Sports › Re: Funny Reactions Following Manchester City's Bid For Jonny Evans -goal.com by Axelrod(op): 5:48pm On Aug 17, 2017 |
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| Sports › Funny Reactions Following Manchester City's Bid For Jonny Evans -goal.com by Axelrod(op): 5:47pm On Aug 17, 2017 |
We did not see this coming! Manchester City are looking to add a defender to their ranks and have surprisingly earmarked West Brom centre back Jonny Evans as the man to fill the gap. Le Buzz didn’t know what was more surprising … Pep Guardiola’s reported £18m bid or the fact West Brom rejected it! It’s been a summer of weird and wonderful transfers but surely this one would be right up there. http://lebuzz.eurosport.co.uk/viral/surely-joke-manchester-city-reportedly-bid-west-brom-defender-jonny-evans-31073/#uk-fb-po
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| Car Talk › Re: Mercedes-benz Takes Voice Control To Another Level With The New E-class by Axelrod(m): 12:24pm On Aug 11, 2017 |
honayoplenty:Have you personally withdrawn? Or you're still hustling your own 40 persons |
| Car Talk › Re: Mercedes-benz Takes Voice Control To Another Level With The New E-class by Axelrod(m): 10:19am On Aug 11, 2017 |
honayoplenty:You will be asked to refer 40 persons before you can withdraw sir. Besides, even when you do, you still don't get paid. |
| Car Talk › Re: Mercedes-benz Takes Voice Control To Another Level With The New E-class by Axelrod(m): 8:09am On Aug 11, 2017 |
honayoplenty:How real is this? 1 Like |
| Politics › Buhari Is Dead by Axelrod(op): 9:26am On Aug 10, 2017 |
The baby, whose manhood was chopped off by his step mother in Niger State, Dauda Buhari, is dead. The Director General of Child’s Right Agency, Mariam Kolo, disclosed that Buhari died in Wada village in Shiroro Local Government Area of the state, after a brief malaria illness. Speaking with Punch, on Wednesday, Kolo said Buhari had “slight malaria which made his temperature to rise and he died even after he had been administered his prescribed drugs.” Kolo revealed that Buhari died at a time he was scheduled to undergo a genital transplant in the United Kingdom, UK. The DG said the sickness was not a relapse on his health, as he was doing extremely well after a series of corrective surgeries. Expressing sadness over the death of the baby who is now over a year old, Kolo said the case of the stepmother who is currently being remanded in the Old Minna Prison would be determined. Recall that Buhari’s step mother, Bara’atu Rabiu, had on June 18, 2016, chopped off the toddler’s penis while he was just two-month old. Rabiu, then 17-years-old, never gave any reason for her action. http://allnews.uodoo.com/en-ng/detail/2823814910591674?uc_param_str=dnfrpfbivesscpgimibtbmntnijblauputoggdnw&app=browser_push&uc_biz_str=action%3Abase.openwindow%7Cparam%3AS.object=infoflow%3BS.token=1002%3BS.scene=1002%3Bl.channel=10069901%3Bend&entry1=push&entry2=intel&uc_msg=agoo'1716511792661401600'0
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| Jokes Etc › Re: If Police Can Chain Their Generator Like This, Then We're Finished (photo) by Axelrod(op): 6:32pm On Aug 09, 2017 |
I couldn't help but laugh when I saw the photo. But on a serious note, it is real. If the Police's station is not secured, where else is then? |
| Jokes Etc › If Police Can Chain Their Generator Like This, Then We're Finished (photo) by Axelrod(op): 5:52pm On Aug 09, 2017 |
If police can Chain their generator like this, who am I to report that mine is missing? Hahaha
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| Politics › Re: I Will Only Resign If.... -President Buhari by Axelrod(op): 9:11am On Aug 09, 2017 |
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| Politics › I Will Only Resign If.... -President Buhari by Axelrod(op): 9:10am On Aug 09, 2017 |
President Muhammad Buhari may resign if he does not recover from his ailment soon, sources have reported. According to Independent, a Presidency source has disclosed that President Muhammad Buhari will pass the baton to his deputy, Yemi Osinbajo, if he does not recover from his ailment soon. The President has been in the United Kingdom for the better part of the year treating an undisclosed ailment, much to the chagrin of a large part of the population, including a good number of his supporters. Independent reports the source to have said, “The president is not desperate to cling on to power if his health cannot carry him. I can tell you authoritatively that he has given a timeline that if he doesn’t recover fully on a specific date, he will file in his resignation letter and if you know President Buhari very well, he meant what he said. “That is why Nigerians who love the president and his efforts in restoring Nigeria’s lost glory should continue to pray for his quick recovery. It will be to our disservice if he dies as some people are wishing him”, he said. Independent also reported another source as stating that before the President embarked on his May trip to the United Kingdom, he had wanted to dispatch a resignation letter to the National Assembly but a retired general from Taraba state prevailed on him not to do so. Chief Ebenezer Babatope, former Minister of Transport and chieftain of the People’s Democratic Party (PDP), said there was no need for the President to resign as the leading opposition party will prefer if APC brings him to re-contest election in 2019, so as to guarantee their victory at the polls. “I don’t think we should compound Nigeria’s problem by asking for the president’s resignation. First of all, it is not of his own making that he is sick. All of us must have been sick at one time or the other. If we want to help Nigeria succeed, let us pray for him to recover and come back to do his job. “We in the PDP are not bothered by his resignation at all. We are even praying that he should come back and re-contest in 2019 because we know that we are going to beat him. But it doesn’t serve anybody’s interest to ask him to resign. Those doing so are just wasting their time”, he said to Independent. http://independent.ng/buhari-vows-to-resign-if-he-does-not-recover/
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| European Football (EPL, UEFA, La Liga) › Re: Arsenal Vs Chelsea: Community Shield (4 - 1) penalties On 6th August 2017 by Axelrod(m): 5:28pm On Aug 06, 2017 |
radiokilla:I sent you a PM |
| Politics › Re: 2019 Presidency: OBJ Endorses David Mark, Says He Remains The Best Candidate by Axelrod(op): 2:06pm On Jul 30, 2017 |
In one of my comments on another thread here, I said that the mentality of the so called ''Generals'' who have held Nigeria hostage is that; no civilian can successfully rule Nigeria. If you check the pattern of leadership at the submit of Nigeria's political space, you will realise same. Each time a civilian takes over power, or is about to do so, they just create unnecessary tension and remove same from power. Since the inception of Nigeria, no civilian in the true meaning of the word has successfully governed Nigeria for two tenures. From Shagari, to Yar'dua, down to Jonathan. If this continues, retired military personnels will inculcate such a notion and Nigeria will never be governed by civilians. 6 Likes 2 Shares |
| Politics › Re: 2019 Presidency: OBJ Endorses David Mark, Says He Remains The Best Candidate by Axelrod(op): 2:06pm On Jul 30, 2017 |
dabeto:The ''Generals'' must continue to rule |
| Politics › Re: 2019 Presidency: OBJ Endorses David Mark, Says He Remains The Best Candidate by Axelrod(op): 2:05pm On Jul 30, 2017 |
mrdezx:Thank you. Nothing shocks me again in Nigeria, after Buhari's presidency. 7 Likes |
| Politics › 2019 Presidency: OBJ Endorses David Mark, Says He Remains The Best Candidate by Axelrod(op): 1:51pm On Jul 30, 2017 |
Former President Chief Olusegun Obasanjo, says Sen. David Mark, remain the finest material for President in 2019. Chief Obasanjo, who landed at the VIP wing of the Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport Abuja where he was accosted by journalists to sample his opinions about the country and 2019 elections, says he has confident in the ability of Sen. Mark, to stabilize the country if Nigerians could entrust their mandates with him. Obasanjo who described David Mark, as one of the intelligent politician so far, noted that the like of Sen. Mark, are very few in the country, hence the need to tap from his experience. Chief Obasanjo, said he is no longer a politician but can support any formidable and eligible candidate that has the requisite experience that will address the numerous challenges confronting the the already comatose country. What is unclear is whether chief Obasanjo will return to PDP to play active role again to ensure that David mark win the party’s ticket, recall that Wailersng.com reported when ex-President Obasanjo publicly tore his PDP membership which marked his exit from the party. Chief Obasanjo’s support for David Mark may simply hint Nigerians about the new permutation and scheming ongoing on the background by the so called landlords of the country which may mean that they have stopped their support for this current administration. He however called on Nigerians to continue to pray for the fast recovery of President Muhammadu Buhari, stressing that prayer remain the only alternative solution to the health of the ailing President. http://www.wailersng.com/2017/07/29/david-mark-remains-best-candidate-2019-presidency-olusegun-obasanjo/
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| Politics › Re: Ekiti 2018: Nairalander Leads APDA Youths To Storm Ekiti For Party's Flagoff by Axelrod(m): 3:59pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
Ratello:Your source please! |
| Politics › Re: Ekiti 2018: Nairalander Leads APDA Youths To Storm Ekiti For Party's Flagoff by Axelrod(m): 3:58pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
That's a bold step. APDA is not joking after all And to Tonyebarcanista, I say congrats man. |
| Career › Re: How Do Atheists Handle Religion In The Workplace? by Axelrod(m): 10:05am On Jul 25, 2017 |
D1official:Same book that said god created Sun and Moon on the fourth day? How did he/she/it measure the day, when clearly he/she/it stated that the sun and moon is to determine day and night? Look the Bible verses posted below. Pay attention to verse 14. 3 Likes
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