Ayobams's Posts
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This is what happens when you allow women to take control of some certain situations. First thier donor had to sleep with her a whole 10 times. No artificial insemination. That's a strange kind of donation. You can't eat your cake and still have it. Now, let's see how the judgement pans out. Kobojunkie: |
I'm glad someone noticed finally... paramakina202: |
You are the one with inferiority complex. Joke is on you. You slave for girls can keep other guys beds warm. Continue. Vinnie2000: |
You've been conned all along. Joke is on you. Redstorm: |
which self-worth? you are unbelievable. sonnie10: |
I am sure you are not married .This is a normal past times in many married homes . This TV show shouldn't be the only guide to make your uninfomed statement. Apparently, you don't know what makes a family tick. tillaman: |
I had 2.2 in "Educational Management" to put it in proper context at the age of 24 and completed my Masters programme in same at the age of 28. Guess what..? I got a job to work in the bank at the age of 30! and was placed as an Executive Assistant even with just the 1st degree. I finally left in 2021 as I couldn't cope anymore with crazy targets. �. Even though I was laid off in 2016, I got another banking job in 2018. Apparently, I was asked to resign but I now run a management consulting firm. We are barely six months into operations though we got incorporated in 2018. Why all this shalaye? You alone can limit yourself. Get the grades if you can but don't beat yourself up for it. I repeat you alone can decide the kind of future you want. Cheers. Bankz007: |
What do you make of a Senate of the likes of Orji Kalu. We expect too much from these raiders,that's our problem. Mysticwebb: |
Same questions I asked. N4.5bn to a single obligor for a nonprofit organisation. No bank can do that . CBN must be involved in this type of transactions. These blogging business is gradually becoming a blackmailing medium. Fake News purveyors must be jailed . masseratti: |
Japa. quote author=bestme post=70367279]Hello, nairalanders in the house, pls I need your sincere advice in this matter. I have known this lady I really want to marry for over 2 years now. Though our friendship have been a casual one. The issue is she told me she is a graduate and then i visited her house over 2 years back I met her mom and she asked me where I came from- my tribe and if I am a graduate and told her my tribe and yes I am graduate. She said she wants her daughter to marry a graduate because she has done her best to train her school. It was of recent we started a serious marriage relationship and I told my pastor and we both met with pastor already. It Is now she told me that she did not graduate that she was unable to pay school fees, though she went up to 500level and did I.T but her parents only paid 100 and 200 level school fees. She said she has no result/certificate. I told her am honestly disappointed for hiding this from me ever since and she said it is because I have not really made my intentions know to her. One of the reasons I like her was being a graduate and I have not dreamt of marrying a non graduate. Pls your sincere advice.[/quote] |
I guess the OP took the risk of sharing his discomfort on this platform. It is a risk worth it. Why? You find divergent opinions and if you have the spirit of wisdom, you will be able to read between the lines. First, I have noticed that there are lots of folks here who in a bid to be politically correct pander to the vagaries of the female sex. They just prefer to be unfortunate,rude and bereft of commonsense. As funny as this may seem every action taken has a reason behind it. The brother that came around is elderly hence the reason i believe she does that. But guess what ...it is not a right thing to do. If you can wake a sleeping person to come and eat before serving the person that is starving don't you people see that there is a reason for that? You are so hypocritical on this platform. In a bid to respect the elder brother she disrespects the husband. ñnn(Normalise talking about your reservations but don't be rude about it). As for you guys that are abusing him, I say thank you for your Candid opinions. We can't all be wise. To the OP , sit your wife down and don't hold anything back when you are expressing yourself. It would save your marriage. Favfables1: |
You have a big problem in your hands. Lostchild: |
I share this sentiment. Of course, the reality is that asking their political elites to give this a thought would test their will. His Excellency Atiku Abubakar would not share this sentiment. iLoveYouToo: |
Foreverdope: |
GuyWise:Is she starting prostitution ? |
are you sure that's you? Some work or art. |
God bless you for this. Please don't get bitter. If you have five kids with an unemployed wife, it is a big challenge. Sometimes you might just have to do something radical. Don't rest on only looking for a white collar job if chances are becoming dim. Get a sales job in commission and work like your life depends on it because it does. Losing a job should now be the new normal. We are in the midst of a shrinking economy and the likelihood of job loss is a reality. If she is not whoring around praise God for that. Her family would soon asking her to bring something to the table. Temptations are rife and just be a man and do something. I pray for you to find your feet. Oya, go do something and stop whining in this space. quote author=Richy4 post=105852574] If you were not at home when she left, Traditionally, you have to go and ask her why she left... This is just to fulfill all righteousness.. Do it without wasting time.. if she said she wasn't coming back, thank them and leave..do not beg her... Don't make her do what was against her wish... Take the three kids to your family if U can't look after them.. look for a job with determination, Try your best to take care of your children.. please also remember the ones she took with her... They are also your kids... Forget about anything on skirts at the moment and focus on finding a job.. if she wants to come back in future and u will allow it okay, if not, just stay focused in training your kids.... [/quote] |
Iyaebe:sure. your values are interesting |
Job turnoff is a show of ingratitude. Women looking for who to fleece and weak men to devour. I smile when a lady says a banker turns them off.... He should give you the money to the vault to show his unflinching love ...? Wake up lady. Does their money turn you off too? |
You might consider opening a " go fund me" account. |
Men have known to conquer the jungle. The real thing is that marriage is not largely prescriptive as mostly touted. The main solution lies in tolerance and understanding. The first duty of love is to listen. We don't listen most times. |
aylagos:I am scared we have not learnt anything as young ones. We blame this government because of our tribal differences and offer subjective contributions to national discourse. The Nigerian youth is no doubt a corrupt, damaged and damned generation that need help to think like other youths in other continents of the world. |
I was wondering who did that compilation without including Tekno's "Duro". That song is a banger. |
That says it all. Time and chance. |
edniroya01:@pato...how much |
No doubt there is communication gap and disenchantment from both parties. I believe that the most logical thing for both parties is to give us accurate details of how these monies were paid. It is unfortunate that Okonjo is being harassed up and down but I guess its because of her role as the coordinating minister. I enjoin her to be calm and make a detailed presentation so that another governor will not come up with more allegations. In the interim she might need to be around to clear some grey areas. |
ayobams: |
Dear friends, I want you all on this platform to close your eyes right now. I want those eyes to remain shut for the next 20 seconds and I want you to think about this. Think about what it would be when Nigeria becomes a first world country. Think about what it would be if the streets were just like those of New York, Dubai and London. Think about this. Open your eyes...welcome to a new beginning. What do you see? What do you envision about this great nation...Nigeria? Good governance, vibrant economy, strong and resources human resources, abundance of opportunities and an egalitarian society? This can happen right now in Nigeria if you and I become involved in these forthcoming elections. About four years ago, Nigerians decided that they wanted to move forward. We came out in our millions to reiterate this commitment to choose a government, a system which will deliver fresh air and a new way of doing things. So far so good the journey has been eventful. There have been highs and lows, successes and challenges, victories and failures but most importantly there has been an awakening. This awakening is the fact that you and I matter; you and I are stakeholders; you and I are patriots that this nation desperately needs. You and I will determine if this nation called the Federal Republic of Nigeria will become one of the top 20 nations in the world as she so desires. The time has come once again to make a choice. The time has come once again to decide the direction we want to explore. Fellow citizens, the time has come to make a choice of where we want to be and who we want to take us there. Our duty is to go all out and make the choice through our voices and our votes. Believe me your votes matter. You and I in this room can make a difference if we exercise our civic rights and duties which are to vote and be voted for. Why should I care or vote you might ask? Voting is a legitimate process of selection. Fellow citizens, compatriots voting have been adopted even amongst us in a bid to have a leadership. Voting is right and is your right. Your voting in this forthcoming election is paramount for the growth and development of this nation. Your votes count. Your vote is your voice. Your vote is a strong voice and you must make this voice heard by casting your vote. If you want to improve your situation today I believe strongly that voting in this forthcoming election can make it happen. Make your vote count. Be patriotic to this call of a New Nigeria. A patriot is one who sees the nation above self. The whole is greater than the sum of the whole parts put together. Nigeria is greater than and neither does it belong to a region, a people or any individual. Nigeria is for us all and the need to protect and defend her cannot be overemphasized. Even though a government might not be patriotic but the people must be patriotic. A government is a passing phase but the people are called Nigeria. They will outlive governments and regimes. Vote wisely because this is also your prerogative. Your duty as well as mine is to make sure that we exercise our civic rights. This is the time to set the tone for a new direction. What role or part will you play to make Nigeria safe again? Stand up, Stand out, do the right thing and lastly make your vote count. |
This is a good piece and great advise for us would be entrepreneurs. Sometimes your side business might not be making much because you've not been giving it time. Very few businesses will flourish without attention to say the least. I believe that the most important thing is to continue improving your competencies and also increase your client base. For salary earners it could be very risky doing something else because of bosses and nosy colleagues. However if you know you have stuff in you and yet are scared because you don't want to do the time,then that would be more risky. Great piece once again. I really got fired up. |
I just ordered for this lovely book by Charles Handy "The Age of The Unreason" from konga.com. I heard about this book some years back from one of my mentors Mr. Dapo Adelegan the C.E.O of the Celtron Group and an integrated communications and public relations expert as well as the initiator of the first ever Lekki Sun Splash. That was about seven years ago while I was studying for my post graduate degree in Educational Policy and Planning at The University of Ibadan, Nigeria. I asked my elder brother who currently lives in America to avail me of a copy then but couldn't remember what actually happened. I eventually didn't get a copy. Immediately I got an ATM card to one of my accounts, I went online to make a purchase on some of the numerous sites but got my order declined because the card was issued in Nigeria. Let's say that most sites didn't want to ship to Nigeria, so I dropped the idea. The best I could do was to read excerpts and comments of those who had read the book.I would be receiving my order in 5 days from now and you know what? I would be paying upon delivery and at a discount! What could be better than this?The interesting thing about this whole thing was that I read the book before I actually read the book...of course from the lessons and experiences of Mr. Dapo Adelegan shared in the seminar and also from further discussions we had as a result of our mentor-mentee relationship. This speech continues to inspire me and I would love to share some of my experiences with you too.Please follow me. Charles Handy is a Harvard Professor of Economics. he stated that amongst other things that life in the 21st century belongs to the unreasonable people, "people who can re-invent the wheel". People who can go against the norm to the realm of self awareness and actualization and you will agree with me mostly in the areas of technological innovation and commerce.My main focus is in the relation of my topic to the realities of today's businesses.It is not enough to have a job. It is not enough to have a product. It is equally not enough to set up an enterprise and fold your arms.A business without patronage will surely die naturally.The first time I attempted to purchase on the internet in 2007, I couldn't do so because almost every site on the internet rejected a Nigerian card or were practically unwilling to ship to Nigeria. Today konga.com has given us the option of payment upon delivery. Nowadays my wife orders from jumia.com even little things like blender and kiddies shoes.I can now imagine how much businesses and deals that would have been consummated by these internet stores because of their rigid business policies. Of course on the downside Nigerians are known for internet fraud but are also not the only country known with that vice. if you doubt me you can Google it up. It took 6 years to achieve this feat by konga.com. Now konga.com is playing on the same field with Amazon.com. Its customers and not jobs that matters.Let me share some points with you: 1.No matter how great your business or ideas sound,if you don't have customers asking for orders you might just be selling to yourself alone.The question you need to ask is this." Am I satisfying my needs or the needs of my customers?. For some of us,we get so passionate about our businesses that the only person that can understand our businesses is us.Clarity matters. KNOW WHAT YOUR CUSTOMERS WANT AND GIVE IT TO THEM. 2.While you are working for yourself or somebody else know that your customers is your gateway to success. Customers are the heart of every business.You will definitely needs skills learnt in your career,parents and personal experiences to achieve this. Why? Because customers will buy from the emotional,financial and psychological points of need.Identifying and sustaining your changing customers' needs will most likely keep you in business. 3.You will work more,spend less on yourself but spend more on things and people.Most rich people in the Nigerian term i.e.people working in oil firms banks,telecommunications,serial entrepreneurs,government contractors work long hours everyday. They acquire choice cars,wonderful mansions,private jets but spend less time enjoying them. Their hangers-on enjoy these things more than the providers because they have so much time on their hands as they cater for these rich people. I pay N5,000.00 a month for my satellite TV subscription by DSTV but I spend less than 2 hours in front of the television daily.I need to go out to make money so that I can afford to subscribe for the service next month. Guess who enjoys the rest hours? Not my wife of course. She works too as hard as I do. In fact we pay so much for nannies for our two little children than we pay for feeding them. This takes me to my next point. 4.Your skills and the ability to use them will keep you employed.Look at the case of working couples who have children.There are so many day care centers,dry cleaning outfits today in Nigeria than there were 10 years ago. The rise in the working population and couples have given birth to the growth and expansion of these services.The dynamics of our population is an indication that there will be emerging business opportunities for the unreasonable people. 5.Your skills will find you out.There so many skilled and enterprising graduates in Nigeria roaming about and waiting for the opportunity to be a part of the shrinking workforce in Nigeria.This is a recipe for disaster.Today you hear that about 10,000 people applying for 50 job slots in an establishment.Because of this employers have come up with ridiculous screening processes and job requirements.Employers have also used this opportunity to underpay and over work staff and this is not only a Nigerian phenomenon.Employees work around the clock and there is little or no time for recreation. In some cases,employees are ready to monetize their recreation for additional pay just to be able to absorb the ever expanding bills.Since the crash of the stock market and glut in the real estate,investments in these two areas have significantly reduced.Banks have not been spared too as they are constantly shrinking in size and workforce these days. However following the principle of the S curve as explained by Charles Handy, it is only logical to conclude that a lot of employees would definitely have to change jobs throughout their work lives. This means that constantly updating your skills and using them to solve other peoples needs will most likely guarantee you a paycheck at the end of the month.This is the time to look deep and discover what you are passionate about,learn more about them and use them to empower others. This is what we do at Rosewindow Consulting.(www.rosewindowconsulting.com). According to Napoleon Hill, you can get almost all you want if you can help others get theirs. Finally,this is a wake up call for us in the 21st century. I have not met Charles Handy personally and he has not given me the brief to help advertise his book, I believe "Take Charge of Your Time, Take Charge of Your Time" my eBook was drawn from the inspiration of my encounter with Mr. Dapo Adelegan and his short story and life lessons drawn from the book.These books however can help change your perspectives in the 21st century.It is not enough to wait for pension or gratuity.It is not enough to slave for overtime allowances.It is not enough to wait for pay rise but to take charge of your situation by constantly building yourself. I once read that the only antidote to staying employed or employable is the ability to be productive. Think about this. I see you on top of your riches. Kolawole Kehinde is the Principal Consultant at Rosewindow Consulting and currently lives in Abuja. He can be reached on kola@rosewindowconsulting.com for speaking events and seminars on personal development, time management and marketing business services in the 21st century.You can read some of his articles on www.rosewindowconsulting.com |
To some of us staying in Abuja, answering this kind of question will be ridiculous because this amount of money would probably be for feeding or securing a year rent for a three bedroom apartment in one of the satelite towns in Abuja....anyways that is if you are lucky or a savvy negotiator. The Nigerian Naira has lost so much value these days with the official exchange rate hovering around N155.26 as at today (see naij.com) to $1 United States of America Dollar! These are really hard times for savings accounts holders. The essence of this write up is not to look at our glasses as half-empty but to start to see them as half-full. One Million Naira is still a lot of money today. It can get you a moderately used Tokunbo car, or could give you a low key court and traditional marriage ( possibly with no papparazi and band to make the event remarkable). One Million Naira could start you a barbing and hairdressing saloon in one of the cornershops in Gwarimpa, Lugbe and well in some crammed spaces in Wuse 2 or Garki environs. One million Naira will probably start up a extra mural class business while begging for some space in a cash strapped secondary school facilities. You can be tempted to say One Million Naira would succesfully launch a 4 Kiosk based recharge card business strategically located in a surburb of Abuja city while removing costs like company registration, taxes and constant visits of AEPB or other agencies that disturb any unwaranted entrepreneurial businesses and services. I doubt if One million Naira will succesfully launch a Brazilian and Peruvian Weave-On business if you are selling original products from the boots of your cars and already working as an employee with an already established network of friends, collaegues and customers. Lest I forget, One Million Naira will start a low level rental business comprising of plastic chairs,tables,cooling drums and locally made canopies. It will also get you some crates of plates,covers for tables and chairs but obviously without a delivery truck. So if you had One Million Naira what would you do with it? If you fixed a sum of N1,000,000.00 in a bank for a year you could be say around N45,000.00 richer by the end of the year. At least your money will have increased. You could also lose the whole sum if your business is not well thought out. In this case putting the money in the bank will be the logical thing to do.If you decide to be a loan shark you could get up to 20% on your funds in 6 months but the down side is that your debtor might default and you will be back to zero. What a tough call.[quote][/quote]For about 80% of Nigerian workers saving that much after paying rent, school fees and settling hangers-on not to talk of other bills and commitments will take divine saving skills and no doubt a lot of deprivation.This is not because we are spendthrifts, or we are constantly catching up with new technologies and upgrading our smartphones but just because the Nigerian Naira continues to lose value everyday, no thanks to increasing oil theft and the over expanding expenditures of the government. Today an average Nigerian is his own provider of shelter,water,health care services and transportation services. Now tell me how you can raise One Million Naira before you start thinking of how to spend it. For this reason, a lot of us live in perpetual fear and worry and this is so common amongst those who work in highly volatile work environments and industries. Constantly, skills are becoming outdated or irrelevant while new ones are sought after. It takes constant self development even to become employable or productive. But do you know that you do not need One Million Naira to dream up an idea? You do not need One Million Naira to be positive about life. You do not need One Million Naira to decide that you will succeed. All you need is yourself and the convinction that with or without One Million Naira sitting in your bank account you will succeed whether you live in Abuja or in Damaturu. Without One Million Naira, you can do much and can be much more. We live in a knowledge driven world where information carefully articulated can bring you fortune.Blogs are springing up everyday on lifestyles,technological advancement, networking and even gossips. These days gossips bloggers seem to sell more than some business bloggers. My Silicon Valley Naija boys are constantly developing softwares, websites, apps and much more. This is truely a world ruled by ideas and not money.I am a living testimony. Most of us wont have a million naira to start a business but we must start anyways. Network, develop a business plan and set realistic timelines for their achievement. Ideas are free and they become realities if followed passionately. I dont have N1,000,000.00 right now but I am going on anyways. Now tell me what will you do with a Million Naira. Feel free to comment. Kolawole Kehinde is the Principal Consultant at Rosewindow Consulting and currently lives in Abuja. www.rosewindowconsulting.com |
Hello Nairalanders. Hope you are having a great weekend? The truth is that we are what we think about....almost all of the time. I just wrote a little piece and would love to crave your indulgence by asking you to spare some of your precious time to take a look at it. It is titled "10 Ways To Stay Positive". Happy Reading. We are what we think about. If we think about failure,chances are that there is every likelihood that we might become so and really this is something that should bother you. There is a saying that as a man thinks so he becomes. This further tells us that our thoughts really matter and go a long way to determine our attitudes and actions. With so much negativity going on around us these days, it is easy to develop negative thoughts about ourselves or the situations and circumstances that surround us. Even though your current performance at work shows that you are likely on your way out,it is important to always see the bright side of life in every situation we tend to find ourselves in. I have outlined 10 ways to stay positive when in a period of depression and I will explain them briefly. 1. Be Grateful About Living: Gratitude determines your altitude in life.Some of us do not see anything good in ourselves, the circumstances that surround them or even in others. Everything is just wrong about everything for them and the people around them. You need to be grateful and wear a smile always no matter how bad your situation might seem to be. Be grateful for the air that you breathe,the job you have,your family, your organization and your country. Be grateful for your successes and your also your challenges. Learn to say "thank you" anytime someone does something or says something nice to you. Appreciate what you have and other things will follow. You will be thankful to know that a lot of people want to be like you or are looking up to you for strength and direction. Show them the light by just being grateful. 2. Believe In Your Abilities: We live in an era where our performances and our personalities can be adequately measured and recognized. The 21st Century is the greatest century because of so many wonders man has created to appraise his or her self. You need to believe in your abilities and focus less on what people or the system say about you. That you cannot perform in a field or on a job does not necessarily mean you cannot and will not excel at another job. Learn how to identify and utilize your strengths and dwell less on your weaknesses. Identify where your strengths lie in and follow them with great passion. You just have to discover where your best can be appreciated and go for it. 3. Groom Yourself: There is a popular saying that the way you dress is they way that you will be addressed. Always keep an appealing appearance. Wear a smile always and put on fitting clothes too. It is unbelievable what these two actions can do to our self esteem.No matter how good you are at your place of work a clustered and disorganized desk won't speak good of you. Make your house look clean, your car neat, your hair well trimmed or beautifully done and eliminate all kinds of body odors. You never have a second chance to create a first impression, so enure that you make yourself presentable at all times. 4. Enhance Your Skills: The seventh habit of highly effective people according to Steve Covey of blessed memory is to sharpen your saw. This simply means taking time to recharge and train yourself. You simply need to improve on yourself at all times. Take some extra lessons where you are lacking so as to improve on yourself. Enhanced skills can get you the raise you have been expecting since or could just qualify you for your the available spot in your organization.It could even get you noticed for your long desired promotion. You can enjoy top notch training sessions in customer services,sales,leadership and time management at www.rosewindowconsulting.com. Wherever you are just make sure you decide on how to enhance your skills or learn new ones. 5. Socialize: You cannot be a hermit and survive in this era where the world has become an entire global village. Business and relationships can be strengthened using social media and if you don't want to visit a local club in your neighborhood just sign up with one online. The benefits of socializing is that you get to meet new people who do not only want to know you but are also genuinely interested in you. Also, this is an opportunity to share your views and possibly inspire somebody. 6. Appreciate Others: A Lot of us go on in life with so much pain in our hearts just because we do not appreciate the people we meet in our journey of life. It is a big deal for some people to say "thank you" or "can you please spare me some of your time?". Even a statement like "what do you think about this situation?" shows that you appreciate the other persons' opinion. These statements show how much you care about their opinions and respect their feelings. The statements are great ice breakers in getting people involved in what you do. 7. Be Supportive: This is a step further from appreciating people. Learn how to support those who need your help or assistance. The support you render will in turn bring an appreciative response. Remember that when you appreciate others and go further in supporting their dreams it will give you a sense of purpose and direction and will no doubt help you stay positive about life knowing that your help counts too. 8. Network: Networking in this senses means to try to meet and talk to people who may be useful to you in your work. No matter how good you are in sales or in whatever you do,it is important that you link up to some connections that can expand your horizon or business. Business clubs and speaking clubs like Toastmasters International which I happen to belong to are nice gatherings to improve your business outlook. Take up leadership roles or specific functions that you desire to keep you prepared and informed. 9. Collaborate Don't Compete: The only person to compete with is yourself. This might sound odd but that is the truth.Most of us think our competitors are our colleagues at work, the company providing your kind of service etc, failing to realize that we should always strive to be better than our previous selves. A Yoruba proverb says the sky is too big enough for birds to fly without colliding with each other. This is profound. Instead of competing, why don't you check your unique selling point (USP for short) and look for ways to collaborate and enhance your offerings. The truth of the matter is that your product won't appeal to everybody and you must not kill yourself on that. When you benchmark your performances with your contemporaries it might be dangerous in the sense that you will be relying on their creativity and not us. The best you can be will definitely be second best.You can change your strategy of competition by collaborating instead. Instead of competing with your colleagues at work why don't you reach an understanding to explore each others strengths.In the clime where I work where individuals are set individual targets and are sent to the same field to get sales you might be tempted to go the mile all alone.It wont be long till you reach your peak and start to decline. Unless it is necessary learn to collaborate and compete. 10. Believe In The Supernatural: This is not a religious article but it is important to know that there are higher powers that direct human affairs. After all when we sleep we become unconscious and oblivious of what happens around us. We are helpless at this point of our lives. When we wake up to another brand new day,it is an assurance that we are moving closer to our dreams and this calls for us appreciate ourselves and stay positive about life. It pays to stay positive. Being positive expands our chances of success and no doubt can improve our self esteem.I see you on top of your riches. Kolawole Kehinde is the Principal Consultant at Rosewindow Consulting and currently lives in Abuja. He can be reached on kola@rosewindowconsulting.com, kolayore@yahoo.com and 2348055159014 for speaking events and seminars on personal development, time management and marketing business services in the 21st century. Check out more articles at www.rosewindowconsulting.com |
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