pimp_lucious :
I've not really been the out going type ever since I've been in Nigeria, but last night I got an invite from and old timer to come hang out tonight guess its gonna be fun

Good to know! I hope your "old timer" is a trusted person?
Feel free, Naija is a great land to unwind in the midst of great cuisine & music. Cheers Pimpylucious

Iyo-aye:
Wat are u talking abt?do I say I was mrrd bfore?dis is my first and only marriage

~~~~~~~
She asked a question, not a statement!!
~~~~~~
In my opinion, if ur marriage is abusive you do have to watch out for yourself!
If ur husband has no qualms throwing you out of his house for whatever reasons & calling ur mom to tell her he doesn't want you anymore then I must say he is not matured or ready enough for marriage!!
Am still hoping u can solve things amicably between each other But make sure he has been thoroughly cleansed of all these violent & immature behaviour. May God guide you through!!

kreami diva: Breastfeeding my son...

Oh ohhhhhh!!
Well as important as it is for lil'man to feed well & good, a little unwinding with macho man wouldn't be a bad idea don't u think?
Don't abandon macho man for the boyz ooooo, less he starts beefing lil'man. Please extend some "favours" to him tonight too!!!
God bless ur baby & ur hobby!!!
Hehehe.....and God bless Mrs Kreamy Diva too!

jidegirl12: Iyo Aye .... Salt of the earth/world.

Error kę, this is your second marriage?

If you end up six feet under from his error using a baseball bat to crush your head out of anger, would anybody care number of times you're married?

Fi ogbon she oh.... ta ba n sukun a ma n riron oh... emi oh laro oh.
( gosh I miss baba Oyo )

Yeye Oba of Oyoland!!!!!
Always with you in spirit!!!!!
Lolllllz!

Having a high spirit this morning, well, as they say Thank God its Friday!!!!
.
Thank God, no burials to attend and dampen the spirit today!!
I just feel so good its another weekend!!
What better way to unwind this evening if not with my babe!!! Will be taking a good evening out with my wife later today!
A nice serene place with good meaningful music comes to mind!
Not all these "Ko duro soke, se ko wa le" songs......lolllllz!!!
Let's see how much dance step will be remaining in those dance shoes of mine!!
.
What will you be up to this evening friends?

jidegirl12: Baba Oyo, oto ojo meta, how are you and yours?

Madam Jaidoski....Yeye Oba of my father land........I am fine & well.
Work-Work-Work is taking so much time & the extra energy left is to be divided between Olori & the kids by weekend!!
.
Wishing u a good weekend madam.
Should be updating this thread soon!

Well, I quite agree with the Catholic church on this.
If you read the article well, they have stated that "it promotes promiscuity among young people" which invariably means the unmarried!!
If u have taken time out to search for a soulmate, & u both are married, I believe you won't be needing a condom to sleep with ur partner!!!
Their point is based on trying to keep sex within the marriage not outside!!
If you need to do birth control IN MARRIAGE then it should be other means other than "condomisation of intimacy"!!!

berylLOL: LOL ....what are mine?

Why not look beyond trivial issues & make ur contribution?
====
I believe ur husband is a little bit of this before you married him.
Have you talked to his family?
You need to stay out of his way even if you still live together.
Do your responsibilities but stay out of his business.
An abusive man can be deadly, don't confront him especially when he is drunk.
And to those who assume you are a single mom, u only have to ignore, believe me u have bigger things to worry about than that.

You cannot compare both love.
There is no way you can love one than the other because they carry different parallel significance in your life.
Why is your mum getting jealous? Am sure maybe she requires more attention from you when she knows your primary attention should be with your immediate family.
Are you newly married? Are you her favourite daughter/child?
Take out time to check on Mama, she will surely be fine, as am sure she will want the best for you in your home.
May God give you the wisdom to balance both, amin!!

This issue seems like a case of a homosexual man still in the closet.
He was seperated for a reason from his wife, they got reconciled & he is still in such quandary.
Ask him point blank if he is into you or not. I didn't read anything about cheating from the Op, so I guess hubby might just not be into WOMEN at all.
No beating around the bush, put ur questions directly, "hubby, what exactly do you want? Should I stay or go?"
Let him have some time to think it out.
Married Life is too good to endure for this long because of issues such as this.

Sisi_Kill:


Well except Baba Oyo is not telling us something, Fola's mom does not know Oyo from Adam...if we were to go by the proposed logic, she shouldn't let Fola date Oyo but she doesn't. . .instead she decides to get to know him and no doubt she will be pleased with the young man. The point is how do you know if they are good for your daughter if don't let them outta the basement?!!

On the off off off chance she is not impressed by Oyo, do you think she won't be in a better position to gently steer her daughter away from him? I'd like to think so, she's shown herself open minded enough for her daughter to trust her.

Your point Sisi?
That while pushing my son & backing his "escapade" I decided to shield his sisters when they come of age right?
RIGHT
.
Believe me, what I expect is a good job well done by their mum, in this case if she decides to handle them like this other woman, I will trust her judgement with them!!
But as a man, & a father, it is naturally instinctive to be a bit lax with the male child than the female.
My admitting I won't go trumpeting about if it were my daughters stems from the fact that teenage girls are "gullible" (no pun intended) at this age & even though u have raised them with utmost care & love, u still never feel they are ready to get out in the world.
Like ur dad did to you, its just a "man" thing, its natural!!
.
Now, I don't know much about the father of the girl for now, maybe he is in this or not, that is another chapter entirely.......time will tell.

ileobatojo:

What matter?

The "sad" matter Noni.....which doesn't treat 17yr old girls with the same "right" with the 17yr old boy!!!
Even though you see nothing strange in this woman's approach, let me ask u, will u honestly do the same with ur teenage daughter?

donadexco: How does this add more tew my GP?

If you are not well equipped to make debate with adults why not read & pass by?

ileobatojo: Nothing strange about it at all. It's the ideal thing approach when one's child starts dating. Same way you want to get to know their friends, you also want to get to know their boyfriends. This is a great model for what to do in the 'sad' event of a 17yr old daughter that starts dating.

Still on the matter!!! Lollllll

[b] A sequel to my other thread .....
www.nairaland.com/1315925/son-just-got-girlfriend....happy-scared
.
Now I got home ystday evening, my wife had told me my son (OYO......lolllll) got a call from his new girlfriend's mum, she wants him to come around this weekend if he is going to be free!!
Was I shocked? Not at all.
I have read with much surprise how some posters here believed I shouldn't encourage my son (my first son/child) to date a girl who has agreed-on her own free will to date my son!!
.
She called him and introduced herself first, then asked to speak with my wife.
They exchanged greetings & she asked my wife if she was aware my son was dating her daughter? She answered she just got to know a few days back & she hadn't met Fola, the girl in question.
Fola's mum on the other hand told my wife her daughter told her elder sister in U.k about seeing a boy, bla bla bla.....and the sis in turn told the mum!
To cut the long story short, she said she would like to meet & know who her daughter was dating & if we don't mind he could come around next weekend!!!
.
.
I dare say, in raising my kids, I have taken a parent-friend relationship style with them, such that my kids won't be scared of telling me the "yo-things" of life (as my son calls it
).
I believe in an open & freedom to express yourself attitude!!
The Fola girl happened to be staying about 4 streets away in the same neighbourhood!!
I realise most people around the hood are liberal parents who take time out to bond with their kids too,(birds of the same feathers?), hence my non surprise at the request from the woman to meet who her daughter wants to date!!
.
Now if you think she is wrong for inviting her teenage daughter's boyfriend to her home, let me know & state ur reasons.
If you seem to agree on it, state the reason why u will do the same too!
.
I will be back to tell you why I don't find this strange at all.
Good Morning!!
[/b]

chaircover: WOWWWWWW!!! just saw this thread

Haaaaaa!!!!! our son turns 17 in a few days time . . . so we have got this to look forward to

Ive been seeing signs and seems like something is brewing and we are def keeping our eye on the ball. For example how does a 100ml bottle of expensive cologne only end up lasting 3 weeks and my facial wash only lasts 2 weeks. The other day I caught him using my facial steamer. I think most of it is him suddenly being aware of his looks and image. A boy who 2 years ago we used to beg to tidy his room.

The most annoying thing right now is asking him to get something from the car or empty the bin and he takes 10 minutes to change his clothes, comb his hair, tie his shoe laces and splash cologne. The car that's just parked outside our house! The bin men have gone before he gets downstairs. Really annoying.

he had exams recently and I asked him to hand over his blackberry as I didnt want him distracted. you should have seen the look on his face and he negotiated me just taking the battery out of his phone and me keeping the battery and he keeps the phone. I guess he thought I will go through his phone if he gave me the whole thing LOL.

Right now he is kajoling us to change our cars to more trendy 2 door sports cars cos he wants to start driving lessons and doesn't want to be seen driving family cars around town.

These kids sha! Baba oyo just as others have said, keep an eye on things and be there to guide him. What an adult sees sitting down, a child wont see standing up. I pray that we always have cause to be joyful over our children Amen.

My sister, its unbelievable how fast they grow.
A big amen to ur prayers!!!

slimyem: Baba Oyo, isn't that taking it too far?
I mean getting all the details and stuff. I would have preferred your conscious knowledge of it been not so active.
Your son knowing that you know what he is up but not stamping it or been all too encouraging would have been enough to keep him in check IMO.

I guess you know better anyway.

.
Believe me first sons who doubles as a first child bring some feelings & extra consciousness into the game. Am not pushing him all the way o......note that all he has told me so far is on his own free will.....and what he does from now will be his choices!! But I still got my eyes on him anyway!!

Around 9am on Saturday, my son had asked for the 10th time if he could use his mum's car since we both have an "owambe" to attend later that morning.
And for the 10th time it was still a NO!
He jokingly told me how cabs could tear & rumple his "expensive TM shirt".....that got me a bit but, I still am not a supporter of flashing material things to impress ladies.....not a fan of that at all.
.
.
I asked around what time he was going to see his new girlfriend, thought maybe we could work something out on his "transport palaver", and he said around 2pm.....well, that time can't work for me to drop him off....young man O.Y.O lo wa o!!.
.
.
I got back around 6pm & he was in his room playing West-Life again!!!
Not to seem too curious how the day went, I just ignored and decided to give him time to "come down from his cloud".
.
.
After dinner , with the ladies watching "their Mexican romance TV series", he came to my room with his "expensive TM shirt", he showed me the back & said "dad see how dirty this shirt is? You see how cabs can mess up someone's life"? I laughed & told him that next time he should go with a handkerchief, and make sure he wipes all cab seats before resting his back on the seat....that's how we did our own "fine boy" back then.....you keep wiping everywhere before u seat....lollll.
I finally asked him how it all went and he smiled....."daddy, I no dey carry last", and before I could figure what that was supposed to mean, he told me he took her to an eatery!!
I believe the eatery is a bit expensive as I have been there with my wife a few times, I kept quiet on that so I can get the rest of the jist.....who no like better jist?
.
.
He went on to tell me how the girl came almost 1hr later & she was in company of her little brother.!!! I laughed inwardly, taking note of the fact that I already think the girl is cautious enough to have gone along with someone!!
He told me they just talked on "general stuffs" and school talk.
The girl is in 100l already & she is 18!!!!
"Did you tell her how old you are?" I was so curious, all he did was shake his head, to mean no!!
.
.
I realised he had made a lot of efforts for a while to date the girl and the girl had constantly refused him because she wanted to gain an admission first before having a boyfriend! That makes "two points" for her already in my books.
For a while he talked about how she is a soccer fan, how they both love Barcelona, how the girl asked for his nickname so her sister can make a customised jersey for him when coming from "wherever", and he made one last remark before leaving my room.....Daddy, te ba ri omo yen, e ma like e , Daddy Mo try!! (Dad if you see this girl, you will surely like her, I really tried)
.
.
When he left & I was alone, some things came to my mind.......
1. I think that eatery was an expensive one and I believe he wants to start his dating on a high scale, I would want to know his choice of place on the second don't to know what standard he wants to deal with....I don't want to encourage an expensive style of outing!!
2. I believe the girl has some moral standards by bringing her kid brother along, that says a lot about her kind of person!
3. In my opinion, an 18yr old girl will be a step more matured than a 17yr old boy, that's another advantage.....been silly together in their choices will be minimal.
4. I still am happy he has chosen a girl with "some class".....I mean a lady who's has soccer affinity with Barcelona sure has taste for good & quality stuffs....lollll....that's my soccer mind o!!!
5. I will definitely be meeting her soon, as I won't want to encourage going to spend money on a date each time they have to see, yea, she is welcome in my house, if she wants to come!!!
.
.
By the way, the girls name is FOLASHADE

Happy Sunday To you all!!!
.
.
Its amazing how much heat & puff this thread has generated in just 24hrs....I like how my co-nairalanders have dissected & made this a very interesting debate for all to learn from.
.
.
Good you all have your opinions, and I am definitely holding on to mine.....but for all the advocates of gender equalities and moral rights, well I say.......I WILL RAISE MY KIDS WHICHEVER WAY I PLEASE.......THEY ARE MINE, NOT YOURS......lolllll.......this thread is to share a father's experience with his teenage son's first date, let it remain so.!!!
.
.
Lemme do some updating on his date.......L☺OL

bettymafy:

Oh really? It isnt about sex? What is it about then? Marriage? Companionship? Did u ask your son what he wants out of the relationship?

Like I said, I understand perfectly that what happens with teenagers (especially these days) is far from ideal and not what any parent can stop. Not with their raging hormones. But what I didn't (and still don't) understand is your excitement.

While we are all being friends with our children, let's not forget to be parents. That is our primary duty.

I'm in no way trying to spite you Baba Oyo. If anything, I love the fact that you can communicate with your son. Thank God u said he's a responsible boy, so hopefully u won't have a "baby mama/STI" case to deal with.

Cheers.

.
I really wonder what experience you had as a kid at 17, can you please share?
.

As much as things have changed around the world so fast, I believe a 17yrs old kid is almost an adult. So what happens when he is 18?
I pretend he is still a "small boy" and I lash him with a belt for talking to women?
Am not feeling ur line of argument!!

abdulkayus: Na wa ooooo, wen i was 17, i was already in uni also, bt never have a GF. Had my first GF at d age of 25 after finishing school abd NYSC. Dat is y am always suprise wen i c or heard peeps havin GF or BF at age 16 or 17.hmmmmm, maybe am a rare breed then.

.
Yes you are a rare breed!!! Lolllz

jidegirl12: Orisirisi , send a 17year old ( with probably a beard) to brat camp because he has a girl friend?? Now that's what I call a shocking news

Awawi some people will say being 'friend' with your kid is too modern for their liking when a responsible 17 year old kid is already planning to move to another province/state University for studies and fly his wings unsupervised where enough girls are waiting for him

Kids that already have a mind of their own from birth, keep taming them by force , in your presence they're celibate , when you turn your back boxers off for quickie, after all mummy & daddy frown at the idea and will retrieve his privileges so

Baba Oyo you try no be small , the guy dey ArmorAll your vehicles , good and responsible guy indeed.

.
Imagine...jidegirl....she said "all this modern parents" sef!!!!
I believe people have different mindset either from their upbringing or circumstances in life, so I wouldn't sweat on her opinions,its a free world!!
.
I was shocked someone recommended sending my son to a camp to be taught the basic things I should have taught him much much earlier!!!
.
That works for her I believe, and I won't discourage her from it anyway....to each his/her choices!!!
.
Yes ma, my son drives me around on weekends, don't want him doing trial & error with my "fine car" when I travel, and then he ends up in trouble.
I guess that is one thing experience has taught me....God bless my late papa & his late car too!!!

MMotimo: ^^^^^^
Thanks for the update, may God bless our children and make them sources of everlasting pride for us, amen [s]Still hope one mmotimo-prophet of doom Aunty shows up sha[/s] lol

I will now sit back and wait for that "other" update
Hope you have a jolly weekend

.
.
Lolllz....u really like updates o, nothing do you my sister!!!
.
I sure will have a good weekend.
And am also waiting to see how this date goes later today!!

dayokanu:

Baba Oyo Congrats o. Talk to Oyo and show him how to use a condom

Else you might have an Omo Oyo soon

.
i laugh like someone having achondroplasia!!!
.
CLASSIC............nice!!!

bukatyne:

Dear,

I didn't see my comments as harsh. I just imagined how he would feel if it were his daughter. There is really he can do but to be excited? Increasing his pocket money? I share bettymafa's view on this.

Apologies if I sounded harsh.

Thanks.

.
.
I believe you are entitled to your own opinion madam. And I believe its an open forum so we all can't think alike.
I understand your point of argument & I will dare say, that handling a male child is sure different from handling the female children!!
As you stated, that will I be happy if Fola was my daughter? No I won't!!!
.
But in life, there is a limit to what you can "force" your kids to do, at a certain age you just need to set them free on their own wings , praying & hoping they put into use all the morals & teaching you gave to them!!
.
I won't be so free to "celebrate" my daughter having a boyfriend at 17, but when this happens, I sure won't chain her to my bed or get a bodyguard for her, all I have is to teach her to do what is right!!!
.
I hope you understand my point of view now madam?

MMotimo: @ Baba Oyo

Updates, please and thank you

.
.
Finally I sat with him at the backyard ystday evening after helping wax my car.
He was surprised when I asked of Fola, he asked if I have been checking his phone while he was waxing the car!!!
I only laughed & told him his phone is right in his pocket & how would I have seen his phone from the balcony?
.
I told him of how my first relationship was, the stroll late in the evening with no concrete things to discuss, the rival guys around the hood, the girl's friends who were jealous and how I got heart broken after 3 months!!
.
He had questions to ask & I had answers for him.
I told him what it takes to be the best in every sphere of life.....F-O-C-U-S!!!
.
He had asked what it would be like if he only saw her on weekends, how he will not dissapoint me and the faith I have in him.
He asked where & what to say on their first date later today, how he would like to take mummy's car .
I picked somewhere open like Mr Biggs....gave him tips on how to be a gentleman, and what not to ask a "woman". His request for a car on the date was declined.
For obvious reasons, I don't want him putting himself out there as a "rich boy" who might be taken advantage of financially later on.
.
He was a bit quiet when the talk came to sex, I have told him sex is not included in the picture at all.
He understands education comes first & all other things will follow afterwards!!!
.
.
I decided to raise his pocket money by 25%, will watch what he spends on with the extra for some few months so I know if he is financially responsible with this new raise!!!
.
The last question he asked me was......"Dad, how did you know?"
.
Hahaha ........Dad knows it all, don't we? ##winks

coogar:

you are very correct!



sitting him down could be plain weird - it depends on the level of rapport between the parents and the son. if they don't flow on that wavelength before now, baba oyo should forget it. there's no chance the boy would be comfortable to listen to the sermon.

.
.
Hmmmm....Coogar it could be "weird" really having such discussions when you are not well bonded with ur kids!!
.
But I have a father-friend relationship with my kids....and the only thing we don't do together probably is sharing a bath!!
You know how u want ur son to be every inch of you? How u give him keys to ur car to drive you to ur friends place?
You realise he shows interest too early in alcohol and you take him along to the bar with you...even though u don't allow him to drink but just to witness what consequences drinking to stupor can have?
All this I have gone through with my first son....so he doing them behind my back & having friends teach him the wrong facts about these things are already avoided.
He will definitely be free to tell me the "yo-tinz" going on in life......I am proud to be his friend. We are well bonded!!!

bettymafy: Is it just me or there is really no basis for your excitement? What is so exciting about a 17yr old having sex? (Yes, sex, cos I know that is the main thing that is goin to exist in that so called relationship). Or what else will they be dating for? Companionship? Marriage? What?

And he's even promising to become an "ATM" for her and you sef wan increase him allowance. Wetin remain? To buy condoms and some x rated movies. . . Smh.

I agree that there is not much you can do to stop him from dating the girl, but being excited? Na wa for "new generation" parents oooo.

.
.
I am amazed at your conclusion that at 17 its all about sex? How did you come up with such thoughts?
Were you all about sex at 17? Or you have been around enough 17 year olds who told you sex is all they want at that age? Na wa for you o, Betty !!!!
.

I want to believe at 17 you don't expect a boy to keep his eyes off the girls around him? I want to let you know my concerns and worries are limited because I have known him since he was born...I have raised him to be a leader to his siblings.....I have nurtured him with the principles of saving for the rainy day....he has learnt what it takes to be the best of man among his pairs.
He has been well tutored in what a gentleman should be and shouldn't be!
He knows what it takes to be "the Asiwaju" of my house.....so messing up all those values because of love is very very slim.
He will be fine!!!!