Take it to God in prayer, there is a time for everyone, it's not about having boyfriends, if you're ready to marry and settle down, then you are looking for a husband, you don't need to date many guys before you settle, pray that the right man for you will find you.

victorazy:

We're not secured i know but i think the world should leave us alone, especially USA. We know our problem and they should not affix more on us.

I totally agreed, it’s a pity that we seem to be so gullible in Africa.  Has anyone thought about the health issue involved with these scanners? Where is this information going to be stored? Who will have access and will the USA have access or introduce new laws that will give them the right to have access to the information – On terrorist grounds – (Now when it comes to using these scans for other medical researchers unknown to Nigeria, how will Nigeria control or know? And what will they do?

And, now we are so quick to deployed the scanners, even in London it's not installed in all airports, it’s still in trial, neither in the States, but Nigeria is willing for the people to become Guinea pigs, and then when all the issues are resolved and addressed, then the system will be installed fully in BRITAIN and the STATES, our leaders need to wake up.  With all the bombings in Europe, how many of the countries have installed these scanners prior to now? DONE…. ,

The only one now is been used for persons now travalling to the STATES.

Maybe I was lucky when I went in two days ago, I was in and out in less than 35 mins and the people who severed me were polite.  

But what really surprises me was the web application system they’re using to store the details and peoples identify.

I would have thought it would be very secure, because of the information being captured.  If I could spot this vulnerability in less than a 1 min, how much more professional hackers.  Also, some of the other pages that display person details after payment that should be secured aren’t even secured.

I think until such a time as they can improve their system, people should be given an alternative method to pay either via the postal orders or direct into a bank a/c or some other means,

Maybe I was lucky when I went in two days ago, I was in and out in less than 35 mins and the people who severed me were polite.

But what really surprises me was the web application system they’re using to store the details and peoples identify.

I would have thought it would be very secure, because of the information being captured. If I could spot this vulnerability in less than a 1 min, how much more professional hackers. Also, some of the other pages that display person details after payment that should be secured aren’t even secured.

I think until such a time as they can improve their system, people should be given an alternative method to pay either via the postal orders or direct into a bank a/c or some other means,

It's easier to talk to your own parents when they are crossing the line in a nice way and protect your wife without them really taking/ getting offended, but with in-law? Hum, especially after he's set you up, now you want to start drawing the line ,  I don't think so.

Benefits, job security & the treats are all good - But I do believe a time will come when a guy will just want to do their own thing, and how do you tell your father in-law that he should release you to start your own business? If it was Joe blogs, you'd just resign and go, but now you'll feel you owe it to him to stay, also your going may cause fiction at home if you're going from a stable job to nothing until yours picks up, it may be hard for his daughter to now support your decision -- Double trouble,

w

w

Yes -- If you can keep the relationship strictly professional, not allowing him to cross the line to your home affairs

No otherwise -- Because, with all good intentions he'll become the boss of your home eventually because of the interest of his daughter, it's only natural, he wants the best for her, so when you can't afford something and he buys it, How will you feel? & if this continue,s what then happens? He may make you financially successfully, but it'll come back eventually to hunt you

If you make a decision at home and he overturns it, you can't put your foot down because your at his mercy, else ( Hell at work & Hell at home BAD MOVE )

Question:

Why was it written in Matt 1:1 that Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham?

@ Negro_Ntns / @ Poster

Lady,

I think you’ll do him the HEIGHT of injustice if your marry him – (Because you want to be married), but if another guy comes along that you’re really attracted to  before your wedding day, I bet (99%) you’re let this guy go.  Even if he’s good in bed, but for the fact that you can’t stay in bed 24 * 7, what are you going to do when you’re not in bed?  also, I believe having sex and making love are to different extremes, and if you really love a guy you’re make love to him as a wife (That’s not to say you wouldn't have sex) but it really takes a level of physical chemistry to want a guy in a certain way to make love, ELSE, it’ll only be a better of time and you’re start going out of you’re matrimonial home to fine the one who you’re really attracted to physically.  

If you find him attractive, but he needs to improve in his addressing style that’s different, but if you don’t that him attractive THAT’S WHERE THE PROBLEM LAIDS.

A guy can wear jeans, a t-shirt and trainers and really look sexy, and a guy can wear a suit and look terrible, it’s not really about his addressing; the true question is IS THERE SOMETHING ABOUT HIS PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES THAT TURNS YOU ON TO WANT HIM? If not let him go because with time you would not really be able to support and love him in the way that someone who finds him physically attractive and loves him would (And that’s where the injustice comes in).  Physical looks is a small % in marriage, but there should be enough for establish a chemistry.  There are so many more important attributes that you need to weigh up.

Pray about your choice,

Woo

@ poster

Mr,

I'm sorry for being so blurt, but I need to ask you a question:

Did you marry her for[b] REAL [/b] i.e. for[b] MARRIAGE[/b] [i][/i] or Now that you’re sorted (i.e. for your papers - I'll be the first to sorry say - if this isn't the cases) now you  WANT TO MARRY YOUR OWN (Niger Babe)?

This is common with some (I didn't say all, so please no offence should be taken for those who have married for real and are still together after 3 years - For others things always fall part coming up or after 3years) Nigerian's who marry English or other indigenous  groups and then they look for people to make them feel good about their decision to divorce TO ALLOW THEM NOW MARRY THEIR OWN

Check you heart? You don't need Nairaland to make you feel good about the decision you're about to take if this is the case.  Just do it and stop wasting her time and let her move on with her life.

I'm very intolerant against men who do such, I know a man has to do what a man has to do, but it doesn't change the way I feel.   And I put my hands up and say a 1000 apologise if I'm wrong.  Becasue if she's a GOOD wife, WHy do you really want to leave? It just doesn't make sense for the reasons you've given


She was very young when you married her and that's what young girls do childish things, also most of her friends are still the same friends that did these things with her, it's obvious why there's not much change in her life.  Life is a journey and part of that is the growing up process. 


- You didn’t say she disrespects you
- You didn’t say she talks down on you/ in front of your friends
- Okay, she doesn't perform, but you didn't say she says I'm tier 1000 times (At lease
    she still gives herself to you)  - You didn't say she does suppose you
- You didn't say she's rude to your friends
- You didn't say she's rude to your family
- You didn’t say she doesn’t cook for you
- You didn't say she's not taking care of the home
- You didn't say you work hard and she spends like there’s no tomorrow
- You didn't say she's unkept personally
- You didn't says she doesn't know how to cook and is not willing to learn
- You didn't she lies a lot
- You didn't say she steals from you
- You didn't say she cheats on you
- You didn't say she's dishonest in various ways
- You didn't say she brings men to the house when you're out
- You didn't say you saw her with another man at some point/ time in the relationship
- You didn't say she goes out all night without being accountable to her
- You didn’t say she just sleeps all day and doesn't want to do anything with her life
- You didn't say she's not supposing your dreams
- You didn't say you can't communicate
- You didn’t say she takes drugs
- You didn’t say she drinks a lot and you stand it
- You didn’t say she got a bad attitude
- You didn't say she's lazy
- You didn't say she's uneducated and refuses to go back to school or improve herself
- You din't say she beats you
- You didn't say she just dissapears for a few days and returns and expects NO QUESTIONS from you
- You didn't say you have seen love letters written to her from another man
- You didn't say you've seen her/ seen love letters from her to another man
- You didn't say she hides or goes out to receive phone calls when around you
- You didn't say maybe you saw love emails from another guy to her
- You didn't say maybe you saw/ caught her in the hotel/motel with some other guy
- You didn't say you saw her accidentally in town on some other guys arm
- You didn’t say she terminated your (yours & hers) child even when you has the father and head of the house said NO

Come now, ,  Which wife do you want to go and find from MY list  Believe me, there are some men who now sit down with great sadness in their hearts because their wives have a high number of these traits AND REFUSE TO CHANGE.

The beauty about being aboard is the security, basic standard of living, one can't ignore that fact, also the system works well in terms of infrastructures such as medical care, schools, housing and social issues.

But I really believe a high number of people who live aboard would go home if these basic things were in place at home.  That's why I believe there're a lot of Niger joints.  There're clusters over all London where you find Nigerians, becos they recreate the home like atmosphere and in some places, man, you really feel at home, that's what they miss, there're not many places or countries that you find lone Nigerians (It's not the norm)

It's not always employment that makes people leave the country. One day my Daddy came to home and just said me and my others sibling were going back to London, for reasons best known to him and that was it and within days we all left. That’s how a number of my friends also left the country, not because they were seeking to leave. I have siblings who have now decided that they want to go back and live in Nigeria, also a number of my friends have gone back to Nigeria to live - And it's not because they're not making it here - No, they're doing fine.

But I must agree with the comments that say - Home is Home - there's something that's not the same when you're away from home, no matter what country you're in and a time just comes that people just want to go back home irrespective of the condition.

I think that's what we need to understand. When Abraham and then Isaac in his time wanted to leave to go to Egypt because of then famine in the land, God told them to stay and He said in this land (Where there was famine) I will bless you. And they were blessed mightily in the land. When God blesses a man he is blessed even if in lives in the bush.

A number of Nigeria's are suffering as a result of not being were they’re suppose to be and it's sad. People think when they come aboard it will all be well – Only if they could see or know the true story of Nigerians who are suffering, some sleeping rough something they’ll never do at home, in mental homes and their parents don’t even know, some have been without jobs for years – Ah it’s a sad state of affairs, but there are Nigeria's, especially the men, when I look at Nigerians who are suffering here I really feel like crying for them, wasted years just trying to get out of the country and now they still have nothing to show for their years and still trying to sort themselves out, their prime time in life has been wasted, destinies destroyed all in the name of coming abroad. Don’t get me wrong, there are Nigeria’s who are making it clean and good –BUT, man, there’s a lot suffering, more so men.

Theblessed:

Do they mean you stay in a hopeless marriage and cross your leg because no other man would find you attractive should you get out, or what  You are a human being (so, is he).  Everybody needs somebody and at one point when you are still crossing your legs naturally, you would experience intense sexual urge - tell me what would you do then?  I prophesy you would run back into his arms, all is forgiven and there he gives you doses of HIV/Aids ''GERM'' you'd been waiting for.lol!!!

You see, these are mistakes women make that always catch up on them.  As you are busy crossing those legs, your old man will be busy visiting his regular joints for his sexual needs, which you failed to meet and, now you are in desperate needs, he will be happy to bring home all he had been saving for you from those women - the disease you have been avoiding. 

One can't say you should leave your marriage, Is that wisdom? Without knowing if you're just asked him a week ago to take the test, you should talk with him and persuade him to take the test and he may eventually give in and take the test and your marriage would be saved. 

Now you hit town, Meet a "Gentle Man" who doesn't tell you he's infected, then you get infected, just to find out your husband wasn't inffected 

Pepeye:

depends. . but why the demotion??

Why do you see it as Demotion? I've seen and know guys with 1st & 2nd degrees, some who had 2:1's and are cab drivers, I don't see it as demotion, but condition.  If you look at Executive cab drivers - I've seen drivers with the latest rides and when they step out of the cars, ah! you really  wonder if they're really cab drivers, well suited and always in suits, cleanly shaved and low cut hair, standing and waiting to open doors for their passenger - And most of these guys are very highly paid (and I really mean highly paid above some Professional career jobs) with the latest rides been used?  Good looking guys, looking fit,  They don't look down on their job, this is a job that's a channel to put food on their table.  And you've got the other end where the guys are sometimes doing other full time professional jobs and cabin over the weekend or are cabin full time to make ends meet.  I know a lot of friends who started as cab drivers but are no more cab drivers today, but now have professional jobs or some now have their own businesses.
I still believe you can't say that because he's a drive today, he'll be a driver tomorrow,

Archilles:

Let me get this straight, are u talking abt being a driver in Naija or outside the country. Because if u mean outside Naija shores (but not within Africa), then maybe u can have a driver that the drivee can like for real. But in Naija, comon, make we no deceive ourselves now. ?how many pple get drivers wey dem fit marry. If you r so proud, the guy would have been called a driver - turned bf and not a "common" driver. You are living in a fantasy land if you think u will get a handsome man when u place adverts for drivers. Haba!! Women date drivers in Naija because of frustration, nothing more.

Your funny, I but I suppose we don't start out with the Ma, Madam, Sir here.  Drivers are just treated with repsect here.

I believe God can turn a man's fortune around in a day, sometimes it's all about the right connections - Divinely - If you really met and love a good man, no matter how he starts out, you can support him and help him get to where he needs to be in life. I really believe in this. My sis husband was cabbing when they met, today his fortunes have turned around both here and at home, but you'll never hear my sis talking about it or showing off on him - You would never even know that she's the driving force behind him and he's still madly in love with her for all her help and support and accepting him the way he was. He always says it.

If you treated and talked to him with respect from the on set - Sure, why not? If the man's got good character, morals AND KNOWS HOW TO TREAT A LADY, it's not about money or materials things - A man can make you feel like a queen and he may have little in his life.

It maybe condition, that's why he's taken up driving - Tomorrow, he could be something else, a man's profession doesn't define him - I know of people who worked in the city before the dot com crash and lost their jobs, now, if they had to take up driving to tie them over, it doesn't really matter. I'll rather go for that than a man who refuses to work any day. At least he's doing something and I believe things will change

@Iranoladun: "I'd advise she goes for a comprehensive test: STD, HIV etc at a reputable center and if she's negative and the husband refused to go for test she should keep to herself or insist on the husband using condom"


I wouldn't even advise using condoms, lifes too short,  If he doesn't want to do the test let him be,  She should just keep her legs cross.  It's not just about forgiveness, because there's a thin line between foolishness and wisdow.

I have a friend whose husband has been sleeping around and when she asked him to take the day, TILL TODAY, he has refused, funny enough,   the location he lives in is one of the areas that has the highest number of people affected with HIV/ AIDS in the black community,

So, she's decided until he takes the test, she'll keep her legs cross and it’s BEEN OVER 2 Years’ AND HE STILL REFUSES.

Just one point to note: if one is infected with HIV, the virus can be in the blood without been detected in the first 6 months, so he may pass the test, so even if he does the test now, she'll only truly know after 6 months when SHE SHOULD INSTIT he takes the test again (SHE NEEDS TO WAIT FOR THIS CRITICAL PERIOD TO PASS FIRST - 6 Months)

INJUSTICE,

I think they’ve have done G.O. injustice here, AND are very lucky it's in Nigeria, Someone would have been sued otherwise for this matter,

This is his name and reputation, Now how does "THISDAY" now rectify the news that has been carried around the world indirectly?

How do they now go back to all the sites that had links to the original story to correct this piece of information? So many other papers had also quoted them and all the other news headlines that was aired about this.

The amount paid for this aircraft would have been peanuts compared to what they would have now been paying as a result of mis-information, if this was first aired by any other paper outside the country

It's a real petty,

When naming your child please think of his destiny because the name you called him  will determine what he becomes.  When you/ friends, family etc…. call him daily, you are calling his destiny into being every day and second of his life, you are speaking into his destiny to become what you are calling him "as in the meaning of his name"

If you read the story of Esau and Jacobin Genesis

Gen 27:36

And he said, is not he rightly named Jacob? for he hath supplanted me these two times: he took away my birthright; and, behold, now he hath taken away my blessing. And he said, Hast thou not reserved a blessing for me?

Jacob means "heel holder" or "supplanter"

Until God changed his name to Israel

Gen 32:28

And he said, Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel: for as a prince hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed

Gen 35:10

And God said unto him, Thy name [is] Jacob: thy name shall not be called any more Jacob, but Israel shall be thy name: and he called his name Israel.

Through history time and time again, the names of people have a lot to do with their destinies and until people go back and understand the meaning of their names or change their names "Especially those of African origins" they may struggle all their lives and never become what they should have really become no matter how hard they try.  Look through the bible of people's name and what they became in life.  Their names propelled them in one direction or another:

Gen 35:18

And it came to pass, as her soul was in departing, (for she died) that she called his name Benoni: but his father called him Benjamin.

Ben-oni means "son of my sorrow", BUT THANK GOD HIS FATHER changed his name to:

Benjamin means "son of the right hand"

This is a really good idea, there's a similar service in London

http://www.greenwich.gov.uk/Greenwich/Travel/LocalTravelServices/WoolwichFerry.htm

Which works very well epsecially during the rush hours and it's always busy, and the traffic around that area is not much.

You've both come a long way from the good old days, to get something into the heart is very easy, But to get out, May God help you, you've heal your broken heart, now give your heart to someone who will cheris it, once you start communicating again both of you will stir up old feeling, believe me before you know it, you'll both start going down memory lane and may find yourself in an emtional state that you didn't plan for.

Move on with your life, Else you'll miss something good coming/ passing your way. If you see her do to right thing to greet and asking after her well being, but PLEASE leave it at that.

bsala00

What area of IT do you work in ?

I feel for you.  But you're in the MARRIAGE NOW,  A man's heart doesn't get stiff overnight, so if he's got a heart stiff or should I say he's not easily forgiving, then you have to draw him out of his cave.  

But you need to apologize, because when a woman lets her tongue loose, it can be like wild fire…, that’s what you should say sorry for and the things you said that you (HOPEFULLLY) really didn’t meant.  It’s always good to focus on what you did wrong.  I believe when you do this, he’ll do the right thing (And say sorry…)

In marriage NEVER think about terminating your baby - When God allows a baby between a union, you must be very thankful, because you don’t know if God will allow another baby to come, we really don’t know, we pray to have children in marriage, but only God knows your tomorrow.  Some people have been married for 25yr are and still praying to God for children.

But I agree with Donjon (Not to run though), but nearly all - 98% of violent in the home against women starts with a slap or verbal abuse, and believe me in ALWAYS increases in scale, so I really do think at some point after you get pass this issue, you need to sit down with him and talk about this, else you’ll look back and wonder how it all started with great regret

I always believe the decent thing for a man to do no matter how angry he is to walk away until he cools down in his heart, go for a walk, go to your friends and chill or just sit outside the house….If he had hit you and you felt and lost the baby, sorry could never replace a baby.  Men please think….It may be your one and only

If N100.000 a day seems high for anyone on an average salary to loose in a day, I think the banks should concern reducing the amount.

MR,

Stop looking for trouble where's there's no trouble, you have a good lady, that's what a good women should do.

God forbid, but if you were sick or weren't able to work again for life, wouldn't you want your wife to hold the home? OR do you want her to turn to some other guy to finance the home for you?

Your BLESSED, Stop looking for trouble where's there's none. She's your wife, your situation is only temporarily. And, I believe she supposes you emotionally through this time.

I know of a guy who is well qualified in his field and for 4 years couldn't get a job, but in those times they had a child, he stayed at home to take care of the child, while the wife was working and he was holding the home together, and she never rubbed it in his face, but thank God today he's in a good financial position, and always thanks her for standing by him and not leaving him through his rough times.

Because believe me, some women will turn to other men the moment you stop bringing in the money.

Why doesn't the banks just put a daily limit on how much can be redrawn from the ATM's machines, this limit should also be low to avoid people loosing large sums of money, so even if soemone goes to different ATM's machine, once the daily limit has been reached that's that. also, if people want to redraw large sums on the same day, then they'll just have to go into the bank with their ID.

I feel sorry for this guy, But as the going says,  Love is bind, But Marriage is an eye opener, , he can't jump out now, else everybody will jump out when their eyes open, And this happens in all marriages, he just needs to pray to God to give him the Grace he needs to work this thing through and he has to seek God in pray about his wife and the issues that need to be dealt with (This is more to do with her spiritual state)

This has become his cross and he has to carry it, Running is not the answer.  Become more issues occur when people divorce, Whether we like it or not, it's a covenant that's not meant to be broken, And when it's broken, it comes with it's own consequences.

He just needs to go to the place of prayer, God is able to turn the worst around for His glory.

I suppose this is also a lesson for men, because they fall into this trap more than women,  They are in love, Until marriage becomes the eye opener, what stared them in the face that all around could see, expect then, they missed it BIG TIME, So it becomes their cross to bear,

But God is faithful.

Don't take it to heart, but next time make sure you ACTUALLY HAVE WHAT YOU KNOW YOU HAVE, AND NOT WHAT YOU THINK YOU HAVE.